Obama Asks Netflix to Start "House of Cards" a Day Early Because of Snow

Posted by: brad – Feb 13, 2014


With half the country buried in snow, President Obama has asked the video streaming service Netflix to start its Golden Globe winning show House of Cards a day early.

"This is an issue I've heard a lot about, and it's a rare thing in America that we can all agree on," said the President in a press conference held early this morning. "Netflix please, nobody is doing anything today, the roads are terrible. Lets keep this country in bed with the help of your amazing program."

With much of the country still receiving snow fall, and road closures from South Carolina to Vermont, the most recent winter storm has left millions home from work and school. The bad weather is expected to continue dumping ice and snow through the evening making roads even more dangerous.

A petition was created at 8 PM last night by an anonymous fan from Richmond, VA, asking for the President to take action. It garnered 100,000 signatures within six hours and the White House responded within 12, making it one of the fastest and most successful petitions since the public comment program began in Sept. 2011.

"We all need to know what happens to Frank Underwood. We've been waiting long enough, and while we still have many questions, House of Cards makes politics look so cool and bad ass it's something we can all relate to." reads the petition. "And there's no way in hell I'm going to work tomorrow, so do us all a favor and kick the damn show on."

Netflix's "House of Cards" follows Congressman Underwood (Kevin Spacy) as he attempts to gain power through a fictional modern US Government. Directed by David Fincher, the show stood out as not only being incredibly well produced and written, but also capable of keeping fans attention despite their lack of understanding the larger plot.

A season two trailer was released earlier this year. While it reveals many minor details, many still have no effing idea what's really happening on the show.

Netflix CEO Reed Hastings released a statement shortly after the President's public appeal. From his sunny, warm mansion in California, Hastings laughed and asked the Commander-in-Chief for patience. "All of these matters are planned far in advance. We can't just alter our business plan because of bad weather," he remarked.

The top-secret info leaking website Wikileaks has since released an audio clip of a recorded phone call between Obama and Hastings. In the background, you hear First Lady Michelle Obama popping pop corn. "Please Mr. Hastings, it's cold and I'm still in my PJs!" says a distressed Obama in the tape.

"We're sorry Mr. President. You'll have to wait till tomorrow."

Season two of House of Cards starts tomorrow, 2/14 on Netflix streaming.

Made up entirely by Brad Kutner