Richmond Is So Scene

Posted by: Tony – Jun 08, 2009

We received this in an email to win the Medeski, Martin, & Wood tickets and thought it rang true. Richmond can be ridiculous. - Tony

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

SERIOUSLY RICHMOND HAS TO BE LOOKED AT...
THIS GIRL FROM LYNCHBURG MOVED THERE
SHE LETS ME KNOW THAT SHE HAS A SHIRT THAT SAYS
RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

SHE WORKS IN CARYTOWN, BUT LIVES IN FULTON HILL
RICHMOND IS SO SCENE
SHE DOESN’T USE GRTC, SHE HAS ONE OF THOSE CUTTHROAT BIKES
SHE MADE OUT OF PBR CANS

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

SHES DOES ALL THESE THINGS LIKE BARTENDING
AND DOGWALKING IN THE FAN

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

SHE, OF COURSE, IS RIGHT,
RICHMOND IS SO SCENE
MY FIRST NIGHT, I WENT TO GILPIN COURT,
CRACK COCAINE WAS GOING AT TWO FOR ONE
AND YOU BETCH YA
I RAN INTO COUNCILMAN MARTY JEWELL

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

HEY THAT LOCAL JUBILEE JOURNAL, RVA MAG,
HAS INSANE PARTIES AT THE 5 WITH FREE CIGARETTES.
GUESS WHO I SAW THERE?
A 17 YEAR OLD HANGING OUT WITH A 45 YEAR OLD

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

YOU WALK DOWN THE STREET, PEOPLE LIKE SHOOT AT U

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

SHIT, THAT SECTION WHERE THEY SHOW FOLKS OUT 'N ABOUT
IN BRICK WEEKLY……..I’M IN THE LAST ISSUE
STANDING NEXT TO A WHITE KID WITH LONG DREADS, AND TIM KAINE

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

YOU KNOW MY FAVORITE RESTAURANT IN RICHMOND,
THIS ATTITUDE RIDDEN ITALIAN JOINT, MAMA ZUS……
IT’S ACROSS THE STREET FROM DIRTWOMAN

YOU KNOW WHO I SAW WITH HER, THAT GUY FROM AVAIL

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

YOU CAN REALLY GET BORED OUT HERE, I MEAN CRAZY BORED
HIP KIDS ARE VIGOROUSLY INTO READING BOOKS

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

YOU GOTTA HAVE A LOOK, SO MY FRIEND TOOK ME TO STONY POINT MALL,
THEY HAVE A COLD STONE CREAMERY AS BIG AS A UKROPS

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

WHAT WAS REALLY HANIS WAS THIS COSIGNMENT WHERE THIS DUDE
TOTALLY SOLD ME A BLACK ON BLACK JACKET
AND A WACKY VIRGINIA TECH FOOTBALL HAT

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

THEN THERES WAS THIS CRAZY STORE, THEY ONLY SOLD PINK STRIDE RITES,
I THINK IT WAS CALLED ‘FAN THRIFT’ OR SOMETHING.
THAT REALLY HOT GIRL FROM CHANNEL 6 WAS THERE.

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

ITS SO FUNNY HOW FAR YOUR DOLLAR GOES, ITS OK THOUGH,
CUZ IT USUALLY LEAVES ENOUGH FOR THE CHINA BUS

THIS MAGAZINE CALLED STYLE HAD THIS PARTY
WITH A BUNCH OF FREE FRESH SQUEEZED ORANGE JUICE

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

I HAD TO GOTO THE BATHROOM, SO I WENT OFF TO THIS ALLEY
AND I SAW THAT ACTOR GUY WITH BIG HIPS FROM THE FIREHOUSE THEATRE
THROWING UP RIGHT NEXT TO ME.

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

SO ALL MY FRIENDS, AND THEIR FRIENDS, HAVE JOBS….AND WORK

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

THIS ONE GIRL WAS SO HOT, HER MOM WORKED AT VDOT
AND HER FATHER DID THE ART WORK FOR LAMB OF GOD’S THIRD ALBUM

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

EVERYONE IN RVA IS A MUSICIAN, EVEN THE MOVIE EXTRAS DJ AT EUROPA.
THERE THEY PLAY OLD SCHOOL CUTTING EDGE MUSIC LIKE
THE YEAH YEAH YEAHS

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

EVERYONE IN RICHMOND IS SO ATTRACTIVE.
I SAW THIS HOT COUPLE…HE HAD ON KHAKIS WITH A PINK IZOD,
AND SHE HAD ON DOCKSIDERS WITH A REALLY SPUNKY PURSE FROM POESIS

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE

MY FRIEND CONSTANTLY COMPLAINS
ABOUT HOW HER LIFE IN RICHMOND IS SO MISERABLE.
HER APARTMENT IS ONLY $300 A MONTH

SHE NEVER HAS FUN, AND HAS THREE JOBS……
SHE WAITS AT IPANEMA, GETS TATOOS, AND GOES TO BELLE ISLE.

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE, RICHMOND IS SO SCENE!!!

I’M BACK HOME NOW, AND ITS SO FUNNY,
THAT SUPER HIP MAGAZINE RICHMOND FREE PRESS COMES,
AND I’M IN IT. I WAS STONE SOBER.
IM IN A PICTURE IN THE BACK AT THIS CLUB.
STANDING NEXT TO ME IN THE PICTURE IS NASCAR DRIVER DENNY HAMLIN.
I WENT UP TO HIM AND SAID HOW FAST CAN YOU DO?
AND HE HAD ME KICKED OUT.
I KEPT SAYING PLEASE DON’T EVER LET ME IN THIS CLUB AGAIN.
SHOW ME WHERE IT SAYS ON THE LIST DENNY HAMLIN?

DUDE, DRUNK RICHMONDERS IN NORFOLK ARE SO COOL.
I CAN’T WAIT TO NEVER GO THERE AGAIN

RICHMOND IS SO SCENE.
NEXT TIME IM GOING TO RICHMOND, I'M GOING TO REMAIN CELEBENT.

John Morgan