Happy Halloween RVA Mag fans. We thought we make things a little easier for you this year and give you a list of horror movies all readily available to those with a Netflix subscription.
Happy Halloween RVA Mag fans. We thought we make things a little easier for you this year and give you a list of horror movies all readily available to those with a Netflix subscription. No need to leave the house, just pop one on, snuggle up with your best guy/gal/ghoul, and prepare to mess yourself.
Heads up, many of these trailers are not safe for work, so watch at your own risk.
1. V/H/S 2
It’s not often I find a movie that genuinely scares me. I’m a gown ass adult, after all, so what do I have to fear from watching a movie. Well, V/H/S 2 capitalizes on that fear (much like many horror movies of the past – The Ring, etc.) but doesn’t try to pretend it’s the first to do so.
This film is a horror anthology with 4 short movies and larger frame narrative. The first two shorts are entertaining if nothing else – one, a ghost story focusing on a man who receives a cybernetic eye that allows him to channel unseen forces, and the other, the story of a mountain biker who has a run in with the undead. The bike story will probably resonate well with those who enjoy a day on the trails, and both are brutal and well produced.
The highlight of V/H/S 2 for me, however, was the 3rd short – “Safe Haven” – which follows a team of journalists as they investigate an Indonesian cult. This short is ruthless in its portrayal of violence and its use of subtitles helps add to the overall authenticity of the scene.
Seriously, this short scared the shit out of me.
2. PumpkinHead
What can I say, Lance Henrikson could duce on a film negative and I would probably enjoy it. There’s something about his leathered face that seems authentic in everything he’s done – and he’s done a lot of garbage movies to challenge my belief.
But Pumpkinhead is a classic in its own right – and rightfully so. The puppetry is glorious, rich college kids get in a dirt-bike accident , and Henrikson seeks revenge with the help of an Appalachian witch. Get your popcorn ready and be prepared to scream/laugh wile you enjoy this classic gore-fest.
3. Hellbound: Hellraiser 2
The Hellraiser franchise is kind of the unflushable turd of the horror world. No matter how many times you think its gone, it keeps coming back. Fortunately, Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 was the rare horror movie sequel that I think managed to live up to its predecessor. Not only is this movie beautifully gory, it references the original and really puts a nice book-end on what I feel is the core of the Hellraiser saga.
Between terrifying doctors, falling in love with the demons, and a final fight that pitches cenobite vs. cenobite, you really get a well-rounded understanding for this concept from horror legend Clive Barker.
Fun Fact: a remake of the original Hellraiser has been announced, and Barker himself has commented on its production saying he’ll write the script. He’s also promised a return to analog effects, and hopes to keep as little CGI in the new movie as possible.
4. Pet Cemetery
While it might not be as scary as it once was, the original Pet Cemetery movie still carries pretty well for its age – though now it might be more for its comedic effect. Some might call me callous, but there’s just something about a fight at a child’s funeral that makes my sides split.
Based on the Stephen King book, Pet Cemetery is about a family who moves Maine (duh, it’s based on a Stephen King book) and before long things go terrible for this adorable family and their young child. (see Gage’s funeral video above for a hint) The family cat is killed, an indian burial ground is used, hilarity and a really awful Achilles heel slicing scene ensues.
I highly recommend you “go down this ro-ahd” even if you’ve seen this move before – a solid refresher on Pet Cemetery is surely a way to keep the bones chilled.
Editor’s note: The wife’s sister Zelda, stricken with spinal meningitis, is an image from my childhood that literally kept me awake for weeks.
5. Re-Animator
This is probably not news to some of you, But Re-Animator is probably one of the greatest B horror movies of all time. Based on a H.P. Lovecraft novel, Re-Animator is fun, gory, full of detailed characters, and features a scene that I’ve always put above many others – When the disembodied head of villain Dr. Hill goes down on naked heroine Megan Hasely.
Personally, I think Hill looks like John Kerry, and that’s always been a point of joy for me – the head of a former presidential candidate telling a young co-ed he loves her.
The actual story of Re-Animator follows Herbert West and his pursuit for unending life. West inevitably brings in his house mate into the mess and before long a bone saw is used to fight the undead. There’s also brain-control lobotomies and full frontal male nudity. I could explain more, but the movie really speaks for it self.
6. Anti Christ (2010)
Do you enjoy images of your manhood being brutally abused by a mad woman? No? Too bad. For the uninitiated, Antichrist is not really a horror movie – it’s more of a drama with some terribly brutal elements. There’s suggested witchcraft, Lars Von Trier’s signature of making women out to be terrible people, and some of the most brutal dong-violence every filmed.
I’m not really sure why I’m suggesting this movie, honestly – I promised myself I’d never watch it again, but it’s certainly a flick that should be on any horror fans watch-list. The motifs of abandonment, falling out of love, and soul-crushing guilt all speak pretty well to a horrific scenario.
7. I Saw The Devil
Not horror movie list is complete without including something from the other side of the ocean. I’m not sure how or why, but asian cinema really has “that’s incredibly fucked up” on lock down and I mean that in the nicest way possible.
I Saw The Devil stays true to the “totally fucked” moniker – it tells the story of a policeman whose wife is killed by a serial killer. The policeman finds the killer and proceeds to torture him, but not in one sitting – slowly, over time, giving the killer hope and then dashing it just as quickly.
Here’s a scene depicting just how brutal and beautiful this movie is.
Yes, the movie is subtitled, but the cinematography, and one of the opening scene should be enough to keep you locked to your TV for the movie’s impressive 2.5 hour run time.
8. The Stuff
I thought I’d end this list with a movie that touches on more than just hilarious 80’s latex-gore. The Stuff is a movie with a message. Commercialism, the dangers of buying into a fad, and what happens when you eat too much of a good thing – all of these bases are covered in The Stuff.
But lets face it, this move really features nothing and stars no one (except for Garrett Morris who has the probably racist nick-name “chocolate chip”) – Here’s Morris (aka Charlie) exploding live on the radio.
The Stuff is a last resort – But it’s worth your time if you haven’t seen it. As with most of these movies, no one really needs to see any of them. But that’s pretty much all you get with Netflix.
