A Year of Magical Thinking—or Rather Dancing (Self Care for Black Men)
How does self-care show up for you, especially in the wake of January 20, 2025? As we witness rollbacks in DEI initiatives and shifts in race relations, it seems that external affirmation is becoming harder to find. More than ever, it must come from within.
For me, the answer to this question is simple: Dancing. This realization emerged from a year-long exploration of my relationship with movement—one that began when I was invited to watch the Richmond Ballet’s Dracula last January. Tasked with writing a feature on the performance for RVA MAG, I found myself questioning the connection between ballet and vampire lore. That curiosity led me down a path of deeper engagement with both subjects, pushing me to write about their relationship from a personal and embodied perspective in another EXPRESS YO’SELF RVA analysis.
The Myth of “Not Knowing How to Dance”
How many of us believe we “don’t know how to dance”? I’ve come to see how absurd that thought is. If you can move, you can dance. In its purest form, dance is simply allowing your body to move in ways that feel good to you. While there are structured styles—ballet, tap, salsa, and more—the act of moving freely is a birthright. Dancing isn’t just about performance, attraction, or validation. It’s a way to release stagnant energy, reconnect with yourself, and heal.
During my Year of Magical Thinking—or rather, Dancing, I made a habit of visiting the top of Chimborazo Park in the early mornings of spring and summer. Alongside my yoga and meditation practice, I danced—out in the open, unapologetically. As I confronted my own limiting beliefs about movement, I realized that fear of being seen dancing is something many people share. But why? Where does this shame come from? While most of us have never trained formally, we still hold rigid ideas of what “good” dancing looks like. That comparison keeps us from embracing the natural rhythm of our own bodies.
Dance, Identity, and Breaking Free
As I reflected more deeply on my identity as a Black Queer man, I recognized that my hesitation to dance freely stemmed from something much larger—generational trauma, societal conditioning, and restrictive ideas about masculinity. A passage from Self-Care for Black Men: 100 Ways to Heal and Liberate by Jor-El Caraballo resonated deeply:
“It’s difficult for them [Black men] to softly embrace their feelings…Most Black men have embraced the dominant culture’s definition of what it means to be a man. Most often, this means having a cool and very relaxed posture as if you are not bothered much by anything. For the price of displaying the masculine ideal, you completely suppress many feelings.”
Through dance, I began unlearning this conditioning. Moving freely—without shame or self-judgment—became an essential part of my morning routine, allowing me to access more joy, presence, and emotional release in my daily life.
A Conversation with Jonathan Paige-Brown Jr.
This journey is what led me to sit down with singer and songwriter Jonathan Paige-Brown Jr. A Soul & Blues Afro-Americana musician and a classically trained ballet dancer, Jonathan trained at the Richmond Ballet before forging his own artistic path. In our conversation, we explore the intersection of dance, Black masculinity, and healing—unpacking how movement can help us reclaim our emotional and physical freedom.
In a time of uncertainty, distrust, and collective unease, I hope this conversation offers a reminder that healing can happen in the smallest of ways—through a simple, uninhibited moment of movement. Even if it’s just a step or a sway in the grocery store line, that’s enough.
Stay tuned for my long-form analysis on what vampiric lore reveals about human nature, ballet, and the expressive power of dance.
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