Report from the field: it is ridiculously f**king hot.

by | Jun 28, 2010 | COMMUNITY

RVA Magazine reporter Ian M. Graham reports from the field.

“It is ridiculously goddamn motherf**king hot. I know we live in The South, but seriously? It’s June. We’re not supposed to get this kind of crap-ass weather until July at the earliest, and with the heat index, it’s been over a hundred goddamn degrees for, like, a week. I’m leaving a sweat trail like a over-hydrated slug in a pressure cooker.”

Sweat streaming down his face like a torrential river of human salt water, Graham shifts uncomfortably while peeling his soaked shirt off of his chest.

“I think I’m lactating. Jesus. How much longer do I have to stay out here? I could be reporting on this from the air-conditioned office. How’s that sound? A compare-and-contrast editorial about how it’s hot OUTSIDE and I’m INSIDE so my buttcrack doesn’t feel like a damned slip-n-slide?”

RVA Magazine’s editorial staff then made several jokes implying that Ian is a homosexual, based off of his “slip-n-slide butt” comment.

RVA Magazine reporter Ian M. Graham reports from the field.

“It is ridiculously goddamn motherf**king hot. I know we live in The South, but seriously? It’s June. We’re not supposed to get this kind of crap-ass weather until July at the earliest, and with the heat index, it’s been over a hundred goddamn degrees for, like, a week. I’m leaving a sweat trail like a over-hydrated slug in a pressure cooker.”

Sweat streaming down his face like a torrential river of human salt water, Graham shifts uncomfortably while peeling his soaked shirt off of his chest.

“I think I’m lactating. Jesus. How much longer do I have to stay out here? I could be reporting on this from the air-conditioned office. How’s that sound? A compare-and-contrast editorial about how it’s hot OUTSIDE and I’m INSIDE so my buttcrack doesn’t feel like a damned slip-n-slide?”

RVA Magazine’s editorial staff then made several jokes implying that Ian is a homosexual, based off of his “slip-n-slide butt” comment.

RVA Staff

RVA Staff

Since 2005, the dedicated team at RVA Magazine, known as RVA Staff, has been delivering the cultural news that matters in Richmond, VA. This talented group of professionals is committed to keeping you informed about the events and happenings in the city.




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