Report from the field: it is ridiculously f**king hot.

by | Jun 28, 2010 | COMMUNITY

RVA Magazine reporter Ian M. Graham reports from the field.

“It is ridiculously goddamn motherf**king hot. I know we live in The South, but seriously? It’s June. We’re not supposed to get this kind of crap-ass weather until July at the earliest, and with the heat index, it’s been over a hundred goddamn degrees for, like, a week. I’m leaving a sweat trail like a over-hydrated slug in a pressure cooker.”

Sweat streaming down his face like a torrential river of human salt water, Graham shifts uncomfortably while peeling his soaked shirt off of his chest.

“I think I’m lactating. Jesus. How much longer do I have to stay out here? I could be reporting on this from the air-conditioned office. How’s that sound? A compare-and-contrast editorial about how it’s hot OUTSIDE and I’m INSIDE so my buttcrack doesn’t feel like a damned slip-n-slide?”

RVA Magazine’s editorial staff then made several jokes implying that Ian is a homosexual, based off of his “slip-n-slide butt” comment.

RVA Magazine reporter Ian M. Graham reports from the field.

“It is ridiculously goddamn motherf**king hot. I know we live in The South, but seriously? It’s June. We’re not supposed to get this kind of crap-ass weather until July at the earliest, and with the heat index, it’s been over a hundred goddamn degrees for, like, a week. I’m leaving a sweat trail like a over-hydrated slug in a pressure cooker.”

Sweat streaming down his face like a torrential river of human salt water, Graham shifts uncomfortably while peeling his soaked shirt off of his chest.

“I think I’m lactating. Jesus. How much longer do I have to stay out here? I could be reporting on this from the air-conditioned office. How’s that sound? A compare-and-contrast editorial about how it’s hot OUTSIDE and I’m INSIDE so my buttcrack doesn’t feel like a damned slip-n-slide?”

RVA Magazine’s editorial staff then made several jokes implying that Ian is a homosexual, based off of his “slip-n-slide butt” comment.

RVA Staff

RVA Staff

Since 2005, the dedicated team at RVA Magazine, known as RVA Staff, has been delivering the cultural news that matters in Richmond, VA. This talented group of professionals is committed to keeping you informed about the events and happenings in the city.




more in community

Milk River Arts: A Sanctuary of Creativity for Disabled Artists

After the death of his parents and his retirement from the military, Aly Costanzo felt lost. That changed when his sister found Milk River Arts. “It gave me a purpose,” Costanzo said. “I really had no purpose. My sister found (founder Sally Kemp) for me, and Sally...

RVA 5×5 | Green on Dock Street

The James River is (literally) what made and unifies Richmond. The Fall Line and the separation of the tidal from the freshwater and the rockfalls created our River City. And the city has for decades now embraced it and is the one thing that unites the entire Richmond...

The Only Richmond Juneteenth Bash You Need to Be At

This June 19, 2024, in observation of Juneteenth 2024, Cassidy Snider brings together and curates her third annual celebration concert. Sharing the stage with a wide range of Richmond music artists of color each bringing diverse musical styles from Songwriters, MC’s,...

RVA 5×5 | Bonding With (Or Against) The People?

There has been a lot of activity across the region recently about bond ratings and localities issuing bonds. It is a timely comparison of priorities of local leaders, a glimpse of a possible future, and what happens if you have people in charge who worry more about...

RVA 5×5 | Substantial Doubt of Competency, More Meals Tax Issues

While the Mayor and friends were busy celebrating the AAA bond rating upgrade atop City Hall, inside the lower levels the city continues to fall apart. Most notably, the meals tax fiasco that we were told was being handled and improved is showing more and different...

Topics: