Full Metal Christmas: 2019 Edition

by | Dec 25, 2019 | WTF?!

Our own John Reinhold gets a big kick out of finding and rocking out to heavy metal Christmas songs every holiday season. Here’s his latest collection of horns-up holiday anthems to spice up your Yuletide.

We have been doing these Metal Christmas rundowns for a few years now. They always bring me a lot of joy, as I find some of the best metal versions of Christmas tunes. Having already been pelted in the brain with Christmas music for over a month in stores and all over the place, its nice to add some metal to the equation. We are already bleeding from the ears, so let’s kick it up a notch and make it better.  

To be truthful, when beginning my dig into this years selection I thought it was played out, and I would not find any new music worth mentioning. I thought it might be the same old crap, or just a pointless search for lesser-known stuff that is only halfway decent. Boy was I wrong! This year delivers some fine new additions. So grab your Krampus mask and black Santa hat, put up your horns, and let’s dig in. Happy Metal Christmas everyone!!

🤘

It should come as no surprise I’m staring it off with the recently retired Slayer!!  

Wham! & Slayer – Last Christmas / Angel Of Death

It’s so good I’m not even sure I have to say anything here. It’s near perfect. Restored me faith in humanity. If your playing along in the Wham! Christmas game I think this means you lost, but I’m not actually sure. This shows up on my radar early and really drove this year’s list for me. I love it. 

Korn – Jingle Balls

This is not Korn, not at all. And it’s also not “Jingle Bells” exactly as we know it. But it’s awesome, and its death metal. In no way does this even sound like Korn — I believe that’s the parody and joke. [Believe it or not, John/everyone, this actually is Korn — it was recorded during the Follow The Leader sessions and released exclusively on an Australian promo CD. –music-nerd ed.]

Regardless I think it’s pretty awesome on its own. Would be a great addition to a metal caroler band. I bet that would be a hit. Going house to house knocking on the door and being like “hey, we came to do a song,” then go into this. Someone needs to do this.   

Jake Holland’s Metalcore Interruptions

Below you will find metalcore interruption videos from Jake Holland. Every Christmas for the past few years, he’s done a set, and they always are amazing- I watch them multiple times. Last year’s was my favorite, with the Charlie Brown tree part and when he’s in the Christmas present bag. Classic stuff here, and even my kids love it. Selection below: 

2019-2020

2018-2019

2017

Ice Nine Kills – Merry Axe-Mas (NSFW)

I found this through Jake’s vidoes this year and thought it was worth a mention. The video is crazy. Like, I don’t know if I can explain it, so just watch it if you can handle.  

Amarna Reign – Black Christmas 

Love the intro and start on this one; it grows on me after every listen. See, a lot of these songs are kinda kooky and funny. This one I actually feel is pretty amazing – gonna bump this one around the tree. 

August Burns Red – Carol of the Bells 

Fine version here of the song, and a little more metal than other versions I have heard. What I really like is no vocals, cause I kept thinking they were gonna happen and be all emo. But this is solid enough. 

Punk Goes Christmas – Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

So it’s kinda punkish, metal/metalcore… I’m not sold on it. I either hate it or really like it. It’s like Star Wars — I have not made up my mind. So, you tell me — what do you think? 

Slayer Christmas Songs 

Slayer Christmas spoof in full effect. As you know, I love some Slayer, so yeah, here ya go! 

Psychostick – Zombie Claus

It’s a Santa Dracula parody. Yep — it had to happen, and rightfully so. It’s campy and cheesy, and has cats in it. Enjoy. 

Deathcore Santa – Jingle Hell (NSFW)

We leave you with this as our final song and video for this Christmas. It’s simple in its execution, and effective. This one gets to the point right away. Not a great song for the kids, but it’s a classic for the older metal crowd. Now…. Let it SNOW!!!!!!!!!!

Top Image via Zach Campbell/The Bolgia

John Reinhold

John Reinhold

John Reinhold is currently CXO of Inkwell Ventures Inc. which owns and operates RVA Magazine and GayRVA. Also, he is a deejay with PLF, husband and father to a couple of great kids.




more in community

Infinite Expansions: A Conversation with Lonnie Liston Smith

Exclusive Q&A with Lonnie Liston Smith below. Today was a good day. This very magazine’s Landon Shroder invited me to interview one of Richmond’s real living legends, jazz impresario Lonnie Liston Smith. On September 13, they will be screening selections from the...

What Happened Before the Video?

There are two sides to every story, but a lot of the time, the first narrative is the one that sticks. Case in point: last week, an altercation broke out during one of the weekly neighborhood rides organized by the Broad Street Bullies. The ride has happened every...

What the Hell is VITCO? We Went to Find Out.

Editor’s Note: This story was produced in partnership with Virginia Transit Company (VITCO). There are few large-ish pieces of real estate in the city proper that have been more screaming for development than the fallow field bordered by Clay Street and Hermitage...

Can Ellwood Thompson’s Survive Its Owners?

What is Ellwood Thompson’s now? That feels like a fair question most people should be asking right now after this week’s news that the company that owns one of Richmond’s most recognizable stores is being taken over by another company whose primary business is data...

I Went to the Data Center Town Hall at Studio Two Three

On Monday night, close to 300 to people packed into Studio Two Three in Richmond for a town hall about data centers, moderated by Gray Montrose and co-hosted by Henrico Civic Action and Data Center Defiance.  I went to get a better sense of where Richmonders are from...

Be Kind, Rewind! Welcome to Monster Video

On a hot day in June, while visiting The Veiled Mirror and talking with them about collecting old books and DVDs, I was told that next door would be opening as a VHS video store soon. All throughout July, several of my friends who knew of my movie library habit...

Skip the Chains! A VCU Student Guide to Cheap-ish Local Eats

It’s that time of year when the U-Hauls come rolling in, parents are circling the block looking for parking, and thousands of new VCU students are about to move in and get their first real taste of Richmond. There are about 4,500 new students and 1,500 transfer...