Just Wear The Damn Lipstick Already

by | May 14, 2019 | QUEER RVA

War Paint For Men is a makeup line that wants men to be able to wear makeup without feeling, you know, girly or gay or something. Toxic masculinity much?

Are you a man who wants to wear makeup? Do you want to be able to buy it out in the open, rather than just ordering it discreetly to your PO Box like normal people who hate themselves — but still not have people, you know, assume anything about you?

Basically, are your toxic masculinity levels higher than the level of mercury in the fish you had for dinner last night?

Really? Then boy, have I got the dumbest idea ever for you.

Welcome to War Paint For Men, the “men’s makeup line” now available on the internet. The line features concealer, foundation, and of course, super-bro marketing.

According to the website, “the skin on a man’s face is 25% thicker than a woman’s. Men’s skin also has bigger pores, and a lot more of them, which produce more sebum [an oily substance produced by your skin as a natural moisturizer–ed.] than a woman.” While other sources do vouch for this as fact (excuse me for being understandably skeptical), and therefore a rationale for men to have their own specified skin-care needs and skin-care lines, there is still nothing offering a reason why men would need their own makeup.

Other than, you know, makeup obviously being girl stuff that gives you cooties and makes you gay and stuff. You know.

Let’s be real: the biggest thing the potential customer base for overtly masculine lines like this are terrified of is the possibility that they will be perceived as gay if they touch or use anything traditionally feminine. And lord knows we don’t want to catch gay germs or anything. Obviously the worst thing in the world is being gay or a woman.

Another problematic element of this whole thing is the use of violence in their branding. It can’t just be foundation — it has to be “war paint.” Why does all traditionally masculine marketing have to be violent? We get it — you want the world to know that you’re not like a regular dude, you’re like a SUPER BUFF BEAT-EM-UP DUDE. Congratulations?

The price points are all over the place for these products, but tend to be in the range of high-end makeup lines like Urban Decay or NARS (aka women’s makeup, because now I guess we differentiate that shit). In US dollars, War Paint’s concealer runs for roughly $23.39 and tinted moisturizer about $28.59. Of course, you could also just go down the Maybelline aisle at Ulta, pay about $8.00 for their under-eye eraser, and call it a day.

For the record, when you over-market things like this, it just contributes to the toxic masculinity of our culture, continuing to perpetuate societal norms that say men should not be wearing makeup. That it isn’t acceptable — regardless of the fact that plenty of men, from actors to hockey players to businessmen, wear simple things such as concealer or demattifying powder in their day-to-day lives to smooth out and even their skin tone, or even just to give themselves a little bit of a confidence boost.

Just like, you know, their female counterparts or whatever.

You can buy from this line if you want. It seems that the shine control powder is already sold out, so clearly some people are. Or you could take notes from career drag queens like RuPaul Charles and just use NYX or Sugarpill or something.

Whatever it is you do, just buy the damn eyeliner and get over yourself.

Top Photo: War Paint For Men, via Facebook

Ash Griffith

Ash Griffith

Ash is a writer and improviser from Richmond. She has a BA in English from VCU and an associates in Theater. When she isn't writing or screaming on a stage, she can usually be found wherever the coffee is. Bill Murray is her favorite person along with her black cat, Bruce.

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