Best Of VA Missed Connections April 8 – April 14

by | Apr 14, 2020 | WTF?!

It’s a month into the quarantine and we’re all getting a little messy — what better place to air that kind of thing out than Missed Connections? From speculation about side chicks to sadness over the death of John Prine, this week’s has a bit of a different feel than usual — probably because people are mostly not having the chance to miss any connections in the first place. They’ve got plenty of time to post, though, so let’s find out what’s on the mind of the compulsive Missed Connection poster in this age of social distance.

Rescheduling orgies and attempting to look at social distancing rules as if they still allow for hookups with strangers you met on the internet three hours ago (spoiler: they don’t); that’s apparently one way some people are getting through. Meanwhile, others are casting a general plea for sanity out into the world of the internet, and hoping that maybe the social distancing rules will give us all time to talk and get to know each other before we proceed directly to the hookup. Good luck with that one (not that I don’t agree; thank god I’m already married and don’t have to worry about it anymore).

But of course, the hopeless romantics are still in the world, and falling in love with cuties you spotted at the grocery store or fell down in front of (#relatablecontent) is a sign that there’s still hope and reason for optimism in the world. Either that, or it’s a sign that we’re all naive fools.

Let’s try to keep a positive attitude, Virginia.

I’m gonna miss you John Prine (Love you)

Can you put your arms around me…
Hold me and never let go.
I’m scared.

Curious

Just wondering what all these married men are doing during this pandemic since they can’t be with the “other woman” šŸ˜³

Re: “Curious” (RIC)

To answer your question, my guess is that they’re all jerking off in the shower or bugging their wives until the poor women WISH the guys would go back to their side chicks…..Ā 

Our Monthly Orgy in Richmond Is Sadly Canceled

The orgy set up by the RSC is canceled tonight and most likely next month as well due to social distancing guidelines in Richmond. We are diverting participants to Bdirti . com so that they can still find similar activities with like minded people (one on one) while still conforming to the ban on groups of more than 10 people. We apologize for the inconvenience.

OCEAN (Chesapeake)

I saw the sea and she whispered to me. I’ve liked the idea of fishing, but not for the fish, which one might assume is the whole entire point. I just admire the color blue, the grand expansion and the raw depth of the ocean. I saw the sea and she whispered to me. I would never dive into her, never taste her. I dont trust her, nor myself to carry such a worn and heavy heart back to a shore of my own limitations. The early men born before me, who dared set sail across her mysteries, not knowing what to find, or where to go. Those Men are braver than I could ever be. I saw the sea and she whispered to me. She whispered, can I help you? As if my silence towards her meant ill, negative thoughts. Admittedly, I had been staring. Finally, I whisper back and say, nothing, you’re just…really hot.

I know but we have to wait

I know that you are lonely. I know that its getting hard (pun intended). I know that you are impatient, but baby YOU HAVE TO WAIT! Its scary out there.

You see Iā€™m a girl that gets lonely too. I really miss just being in the company of a man, but in this very moment I have to use common sense. Not sure if you heard This health crisis is NO FUCKING JOKE!

So you say you donā€™t have COVID symptoms, but IDIOT you can still be a carrier. SEXUAL DISTANCING! At least til June 10 you horny toads. Can you stop thinking with your little head for the sake of your health? Plus I just want to talk.

Relax!

Fort Monroe cute lady running (Hampton)

We were both running on the boardwalk at Fort Monroe. I tripped and fell. You stopped to make sure I was OK. You were super cute and I was super embarrassed.

What body part did I hurt, and why did I trip?

Let’s chat.

To the tall athletic young woman in Publix on staples mill road (Glen Allen)

This is probably a very long shot, honestly more like a wish, but I was shopping in the Publix in the Crossridge shopping center on Staples Mill Road today Wednesday April 8th around 3pm. I first noticed an extremely beautiful, tall, athletic young lady on the bread aisle where we were both shopping. You had on a t-shirt with a number on it with a line through the middle of the number (1040 maybe was the number) and yoga pants. I had on a plaid shirt and khakis. We crossed paths several more times and you actually almost got in line behind me in the checkout line, we made eye contact and you shared your incredibly beautiful, breathtakingly perfect smile with me. I was about to say something to you, I honestly got a little shy, when you went and got into the self checkout area. I really want to tell you that I hope you have a day as beautiful as you are yourself! If you do see this post please respond to it. I’d love to talk to you. Hope to hear from you soon.

Can you finish this movie line….

“Surely, you can’t be serious?” …. “I am serious and don’t call me _______?”

If you know this line, you are probably the woman for me!

Willing to risk it all

I know you wont see this and its cool. I was seriously wiling to risk ot all during a fucking pandemic.

Its been a minute since a brotha went grocery shopping. Im glad i picked today. You were wearing purple gym gear, had amazing curves, big beautiful curly hair, and probably the fattest ass Iā€™ve ever seen in reality outside of IG (no offense). Every man in walmart was about to break they neck FR! I love women with curves.

At first I thought you were shopping w/ your man but it was just a worker helping you shop.

You wont see this but Hit me up. For now we can just talk and get to know each other

Blue haired girl at 7-11 (Stafford)

You were at the Lake Arrowhead 7-11 the other day and I think you use to work there by the sound of your conversation. I know we are suppose to be practice social distancing and all that jazz but I wouldn’t mind breaking some rules to get to know you a lil better I think it would be worth the risk.

Quarantine email friend (Anywhere)

Hello Iā€™m an early 40ā€™s MWM who is looking for a female email and possible text friend. Someone to help with all the sitting at home Iā€™m having to do. Maybe we can even stay friends after things return to normal. Send me a reply to start talking.

So many things

We’ve had our moments, but they never go further. The feeling of your lips on my skin is forever burned into my brain. And I can still feel the way your hands felt roaming over my body, cautious, tender but strong. I love you, I can never say it back but I do. I love you in spite of circumstances, and in spite if the fact that I know if things were different we still would never work. I love you in spite of the fact that I know you will never feel what I do. You’ll never see this and that’s okay. I’ll never forget that night when it was just you and me staring at the stars.

To your uber drivers (Va)

If you get a ride from your local uber drivers
Whether your male or female
And your attracted to your driver

Let them know
Or if your shy,at least let them know on here
You may be surprised what could happen

Easter Dinner (Roanoke)

I have a Cornish hen, mashed potatoes, brussels sprots, and potato leek soup…..anyone want to join? White male here alone looking for company.

My Crush LA

I miss seeing you in person, but at least there are zoom meetings from time to time…..btw if I were available I wouldn’t care at all about the difference in our ages or what our friends might think. You’re amazing.

This Annoying Cough Wont Go Away, But Im A Single Female In Norfolk

That my friends, is an example of someone you should not be-hookin up with. So when you go to Bdirti . com to find someone to sleep with in Norfolk during these challenging times, just be smart about it. People aren’t going to stop “doing it” so we all just have to make better decisions. Simple as that.

I thought you were adorable in CVS! (Salem)

You were in CVS this evening after work at Ridgewood farms. You had blond hair, friendly, lol and just as shy as I was. I thought you were so cute. I gave you a tip on what you were wondering about, and they didn’t have and they didn’t have what i was looking for. I was feeling so awkward from having a place on my face that was injured, lol, not Corona! Lol. Anyway, if you happen to see this, tell me what I was looking for. You were thin and just adorable! We kept smiling at each other. Hoping you have a great weekend!

Everything Changes (Richmond)

Lookin down this road and I can see his penisĀ 

RVA Staff

RVA Staff

Since 2005, the dedicated team at RVA Magazine, known as RVA Staff, has been delivering the cultural news that matters in Richmond, VA. This talented group of professionals is committed to keeping you informed about the events and happenings in the city.




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