Welcome to another week of Missed Connections here in Richmond where it is hot as hell and in the year of our lord 2021 some people still don’t know what Belle Isle is called. “Bells Island” is a good guess, I suppose, but your fifth grade teacher is still marking it wrong on your Virginia history quiz.
Not everything about Missed Connections this week is an excuse for grumpiness; hearing about people meeting at Texas Beach on Memorial Day gives me hope for a post-pandemic future in which Richmond is once again the Richmond I always knew. Elsewhere in Virginia, people are playing pool tables at the Moose Lodge, taking the boat out, and uh… hitting on their goddaughter’s friends at bars. So yeah, life is slowly getting back to normal, even in the creepy ways. Yay?
Try to keep it cool this week, Virginia.
One of the most fucked up things the universe will ever do to you, is let you meet the right person…at the wrong time
Bells island peach shirt and black shorts (Richmond)
I noticed you noticing me, and the undeniable connection we had. You was wearing a peach tank top and black shorts. I was walking my black and white dog. One of your kids said my dog looks like the dog that chased him. If you see this and want to get to know one another, reply to the ad.
behind you at the wine store (West End)
I enjoyed chatting with you and trying to help in the parking.
Would you like to meet for a drink sometime.
The guy with the jokes and manners.
Texas Beach, Memorial Day, Girl Sunning on a Rock (Richmond)
I know this is a long shot and it is better than no shot at all… You were minding your own business, on a rock, by the river, when I stopped to ask you about your tattoo. We ended up having the nicest chat about both being new to Richmond, about art, and about health insurance (!?!), among other things. I should have asked you to join me for a coffee, but I did not. Here’s me doing that now. Tell me what you tat says – I will know it’s you.
R.
I saw you singing n grooving to thr music, in a red kia. You had blonde hair rubbing your hands through your hair looking hot n sensuous. I’d really like to meet you.
I am lil older hardcore construction worker, retired military.
What was I driving?
Courtney….. you beat me at pool (STAUNTON)
i scratched on the 8 ball. Staunton Moose Lodge.
You had long hair and a great smile.
Like last year before the virus thing.
You needed a place to live. i offered.
Cannot help thinking about you. bear
Whoops, so totally missed at lunch today so hit me up Blonde in Blonde Tesla.
Helped a lady at Walmart (Tidewater walmart)
We helped a lady whose wheelchair broke down. You were gorgeous and so very kind. We exchanged names, waited for the fire dept, and delivered her and her wheelchair to her home… I was too reserved to ask for your number prior to us going our separate ways and was beating myself up on my drive home.
If you see this, please tell me the lady’s name that we helped… Or my last name!
I really hope to hear back from you; I’d really like to talk to you again.
I’m pretty sure this will not work…but what the hell. M.rg.n.. we meet today at Grandview as you captain the boat through the tricky inlet. Talked briefly and your dog did not kill me. Haha. Would love to meet up again, I will be out tomorrow. Might be a few weekends before I can get back out as I’m only free every other weekend. Suns out buns out!
My Goddaughter’s Friend (Northern VA)
You 22, Blonde long hair at a bar in Fairfax. You’re a friend of my Goddaughter.
You said you and your girlfriends have talked about me but you were too shy to act but wanted to since you have a thing for older men like me, 40s. It was nice being called a DILF by you.
Since I can’t really ask her for your number, I hope you see this so we can work on those kinks, maybe invite one of your girlfriends too you talked about before your friends came in and took you away. I wish I would have asked for your number before we parted ways.
It’d be nice to meet up.
Photo by Zakaria Zayane on Unsplash