Central VA plagued by laziest robber ever

by | Nov 6, 2014 | POLITICS

A joint task force of FBI and police officials from around the state have put out a call for what has to be the laziest fucking robber ever.


A joint task force of FBI and police officials from around the state have put out a call for what has to be the laziest fucking robber ever.

It seems a black male has been hitting pharmacies around the state demanding pain killers and, as if he’s ran out of fucks, covering his face with a white rag. Not a bandanna, not a balaclava, not a Nixon mask–just a white rag. He doesn’t even have something to keep it in place, he just freaking holds it there and threatens people with a rag over his face like a passenger on a subway in Japan.

And he’s consistent with his half-assery – it’s always the same damn white rag.

Here’s additional details via the FBI:

On July 15, 2014, a black male subject entered the CVS located on Woodman Road in Henrico County, Virginia, approached the pharmacy counter with a white cloth over his face and revealed a black handgun tucked in his waistband to the attending pharmacist. The subject demanded Oxycodone pills and cash from the register before fleeing the store. The subject was described as 5’10” to 6’0”, 180-200 pounds, average build, light complexion, black beard and wearing a yellow jacket and baseball hat.

On July 26, 2014, a black male subject entered the CVS located on Charter Gate Drive in Mechanicsville, Virginia, approached the pharmacy counter and motioned for the pharmacist. The subject, holding a white cloth over his face, displayed to the pharmacist a handgun in his waistband and demanded all of the Oxycodone pills. In a moment of hesitation, the subject entered the work area behind the counter and systematically gathered Oxycodone and Percocet pills himself before exiting the building. The subject was described as 20-35 years of age, 5’6” to 5’8”, 150-175 pounds, wearing a gray and blue shirt, blue pants, dark tennis shoes, and a white ball cap with red lettering.

On August 13, 2014, a black male subject with a white cloth over his face entered the CVS located on Jefferson Davis Highway in Fredericksburg, Virginia, approached the victim pharmacist and demanded the store’s supply of Oxycodone while implying he had a weapon in his waistband. Again, in a moment of hesitation, the subject forced his way behind the counter into the work area and acquired the pills. The subject also attempted to acquire Percocet and Xanax without success, but did grab cough syrup on his way out. The subject was described as approximately 25 years of age and wearing a black short sleeved t-shirt, khaki/tan knee length shorts, black high-top sneakers, and a black baseball hat with the letter “B” on it and a large sticker on the brim.

On September 16, 2014, a black male subject holding a white cloth over his face entered the CVS located on Richmond Road in Williamsburg, Virginia, displayed a handgun in his waistband and demanded the store’s supply of Oxycodone from the pharmacist. Once the subject received the pills, he exited the store. The subject was wearing a red shirt and a red and white hat.

On October 10, 2014, a black male subject entered the Rite Aid on South Joyce Street in Arlington, Virginia, approached the pharmacist and asked where the Oxycodone pills were kept as he displayed a black handgun in his waistband. The subject was unsuccessful in his attempt to obtain pills and exited the store. The subject, covering his face with a white cloth, was described as 5’8”, 160 pounds, wearing a black long-sleeved sweater with a small product logo on the rear neck area, dark blue jeans, dark sneakers with white trim and red laces, and a white and orange baseball hat.

Also on October 10, 2014, a black male subject with a white cloth over his face entered the CVS on Touchstone Circle in Woodbridge, Virginia and demanded Oxycodone pills from the pharmacist while exposing a black handgun in his waistband. The subject repositioned himself behind the counter and verbally threatened the pharmacist until he was presented with the pills and Oxycodone in liquid form. The subject was described as 20-30 years of age, 5’10”, 170 pounds and wearing a black sweater and a white and red hat.

October 26, 2014, a black male subject holding a white cloth over his face entered the CVS on West Mercury Boulevard in Hampton, Virginia, and demanded Oxycodone pills in specific doses from the pharmacist while displaying a handgun in his pocket. Once the pills were turned over, the subject exited the store. The subject was described as light-skinned, 5’7” to 6’0”, 150-165 pounds, wearing black pants, a gray short-sleeved shirt with a patch on the left sleeve, and a white baseball hat.

In several of these robberies, the subject was observed leaving the premises in a light colored, possibly white or silver, Dodge Nitro SUV.

Any folks who might know this guy – fucked up on pain pills and sporting a white rag – are urged to call the Richmond FBI office: (804)261-1044; or email Richmond@ic.FBI.gov with information.

Brad Kutner

Brad Kutner

Brad Kutner is the former editor of GayRVA and RVAMag from 2013 - 2017. He’s now the Richmond Bureau Chief for Radio IQ, a state-wide NPR outlet based in Roanoke. You can reach him at BradKutnerNPR@gmail.com




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