Earth Faces Clown Shortage, Not a Laughing Matter

A statement in the New York Daily News has sparked terror amongst clown enthusias

A statement in the New York Daily News has sparked terror amongst clown enthusiasts across the country, or at least this journalist.

“What’s happening is attrition,” said Clowns of America International President Glen Kohlberger, who added that membership at the Florida-based organization has plummeted since 2006. “The older clowns are passing away.”
….
He said he wouldn’t release specific numbers, citing the privacy of the members.
Membership at the World Clown Association, the country’s largest trade group for clowns, has dropped from about 3,500 to 2,500 since 2004.

First off, who the hell counts clowns, and please tell me there is an actual lobbyist for Clowns of america International

That is an episode of House of Cards I would kill to see – Frank Underwood getting threatened by the highly financed congressional lobbying firm financed by 6-year-old’s birthday parties.

Alright, enough clowning around – I’ve actually looked into this Clowns of America International and it seems they have a 2014 convention coming up. It’s taking place at a camp site in Lake Buena Vista, FL, and includes story telling and sock puppet contests.

But back to the clown shortage… if you decide to turn your suit and tie in for a polka dots and face paint, you’ll experience plenty of benefits as a registered member of the COAI, including:

* Membership recruitment incentives for individual members

* COAI Chartered Clown Alleys for local and regional membership support and continuing educational opportunities

I have no idea what a clown Alley is, but I am terrified.