Oh my god, we’re going to do this to a bunch of people and laugh really hard when they have to spend the next three days sucking glitter out of their keyboards.
Oh my god, we’re going to do this to a bunch of people and laugh really hard when they have to spend the next three days sucking glitter out of their keyboards.
All right, now that our excitement has passed, let me introduce you to a new service which is sure to make many of us very very happy and our enemies very very upset.
Welcome to shipyourenemiesglitter.com, a company which makes a simple promise: “WE SEND GLITTER TO THE PEOPLE YOU HATE.”
We imagine it looks something like this, but with a more official delivery method.
In a world of taco drones and poopsenders.com, it’s no surprise a less aggressive, though still equally annoying services exists to pester those you are displeased with.
“We fucking hate glitter,” reads the ShipYourEnemeiesGlitter website. “People call it the herpes of the craft world. What we hate more though are the soulless people who get their jollies off by sending glitter in envelopes.”
Ironically enough, this company had the great idea of turning one persons glitter-sour-grapes into another person’s… glitter-sour-grapes… for profit.
Sure, you could look up your enemies; find their address; buy glitter, stamps, and envelopes; and then make it happen yourself. But fuck that. Give these guys $10 and leave your hands clean. The company uses PayPal, a service they admit they are not fond of:
Yes, we know PayPal is a shitty company, hell why not send those dicks some glitter?
The site has testimonials of successful glitter-transactions. Whether they’re real or not, we’re not entirely sure, but Spencer Jones says he “never gets tired of seeing my co-workers rage when opening their glittery envelopes.”
Meanwhile, Sean George, an apparent victim of a glitter-assault, said “It’s been 3 weeks and I’m still finding this shit. How the fuck do I get rid of it?!”
So if you’re feeling particularly spiteful or just want to stick it to some jerk at your office, consider shipyourenemiesglitter.com–because it’s more legal than a slap in the face.
