St. Patrick’s Day is bullshit and I love it. Don’t believe me? Who the hell was St. Patrick?
You have no idea. If you were really Irish, you’d know that, and if you did, you’re either in the minority or you felt so guilty you googled it. And you know what? You don’t care, either! Even if you DID know that St. Patrick supposedly chased all the snakes out of Ireland, did you know that there’s no evidence, whatsoever, that there ever were any snakes in Ireland? But who cares? Even if your parent’s parent’s parents came from the Emerald Isle, you’re not Irish; not really.
So here’s a crash course! Here’s a little girl explaining the story of St. Patrick (in an Oscar-Nominated short, no less!):
St. Patrick’s Day is bullshit and I love it. Don’t believe me? Who the hell was St. Patrick?
You have no idea. If you were really Irish, you’d know that, and if you did, you’re either in the minority or you felt so guilty you googled it. And you know what? You don’t care, either! Even if you DID know that St. Patrick supposedly chased all the snakes out of Ireland, did you know that there’s no evidence, whatsoever, that there ever were any snakes in Ireland? But who cares? Even if your parent’s parent’s parents came from the Emerald Isle, you’re not Irish; not really.
So here’s a crash course! Here’s a little girl explaining the story of St. Patrick (in an Oscar-Nominated short, no less!):
So there you have it. Here, check out this video from the Dropkick Murphys:
That was Irish as fuck, right? Right. Take a shot, because that’s what you do on St. Patrick’s day; now, here’s another educational video on St. Patrick:
And to counter that, here’s a bunch of violent clips from The Boondock Saints set to Flogging Molly, both of which are more way more fookin’ Irish than you.
So enjoy your green beer and remember: being drunk as fuck on whiskey and vegetable dye one day a year doesn’t make you Irish. It’s being drunk the other three hundred and sixty-four days that counts!
