You Beto Werk: A Tinder-Style Love Letter To Beto O’Rourke

by | Sep 28, 2018 | POLITICS

Hello, hello Beto. I’m surprised you managed to find the time to swipe right on into my woke AF punk rock heart. My kind of dreamboat doesn’t just fight for legislation for women’s rights, he brings it in on a skateboard, wearing a backwards hat made of Medicaid expansion and DREAMs.

Nothing sends my heart aflame quite like a man who works to end gerrymandering, stopping members of Congress from choosing their ideal voters while he works the shit out of a Metallica hoodie.

What’s that? We need to provide a robust rural infrastructure for Texas farmers and rural communities, so they have more of an economic opportunity?

Oh, yes. Robust all up in this.

There is nothing more attractive than a well-educated man who values the importance of education in our society. Are you free Friday night? Why don’t we grab some food and go protest with local teachers. We’ll let them know we support their empowerment to fulfill their calling, and that we want them to have the autonomy to teach their students. Nothing is less attractive than the emphasis on unnecessary high-stakes tests that don’t better our children.

Is it getting warm in here, or is it just how hard you want to bring the smackdown on toxic legislation like Texas’s own HB2-style “bathroom bill,” Senate Bill 6? Nothing is more attractive than a stand-up man looking out for our communities and their betterment.

What’s that? You believe in government accountability? I’ll hold you to that. And dessert later.

Midterms are the spiciest time of the year. You Beto believe I’ll be DTF if you’re DTV.

Down to vote, of course.

Call me.

XOXO,

Ash

Ash Griffith

Ash Griffith

Ash is a writer and improviser from Richmond. She has a BA in English from VCU and an associates in Theater. When she isn't writing or screaming on a stage, she can usually be found wherever the coffee is. Bill Murray is her favorite person along with her black cat, Bruce.




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