You know you’re in for a heck of an evening when the Facebook event page features the words “no fighting, throwing chairs, or breaking tables.” If that’s the kind of activity the promoters are prepared for in advance, chances are things are going to get pretty crazy, even if none of those things actually come to pass. But with Bodysnatcher on the bill, you can’t really expect anything less. This Florida group’s crossbreed of beatdown hardcore and slam-style death metal is positively crushing on their brand new LP, This Heavy Void, and if it didn’t generate at least a few explosive mosh pits over the course of a live set, I’d have to wonder if the entire city of Chesapeake was asleep.
Monday night’s been slim pickings around the Richmond live music world in recent months; fortunately, it only takes one good show to turn a night from a bust into a boom, and we’ve got exactly that with this Canal Club performance by Texas’s own Creeping Death, which is sure to light up our dreary Monday evening. This hard-as-fuck quartet not only touch on the same confluence of death metal, thrash, and hardcore that Power Trip have so fruitfully exploited for the past decade but also have strong connections with their fellow Texans, even touring with them last year.
This Christmas, for those in the spirit, we bring you a new installment of Full Metal Christmas. Once again, we dug up some of the best metal Christmas tunes we could find to get you through these holidays. So keep the eggnog flowing, put these on 11, and enjoy!
Lets start this off right…
Death Metal, Cats, and Christmas
Death Metal, Cats, and Christmas. What else do you want? I mean, that pretty much sums this up.
Ariana Grande & Michael Buble’s wonderful death metal “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”
What a good bit of Christmas cheer this brings. I was not aware of Ariana’s crushing vocals and depth. I love Buble’s very nonchalant jazz-like delivery; it brings in a whole new perspective to stage presence in the metal scene. These two are onto something big, and I can’t wait to see what they bring us on their upcoming metal album, Christmas & Die, in 2019.
“Heavy Metal Christmas,” by Twisted Sister
Truth be told, Dee Snider loves some Christmas. There is a plethora of Twister Sister Christmas tunes you can find out there. This one has them going makeup-free and doing their take on the classic “12 Days of Christmas.” The list is pretty good list overall – very classic metal. A worthy addition to your metal Christmas.
It just would not be Christmas without Slayer — they always must be involved. I think this might be my favorite of all the current finds. It cracks me up to no end, and is pretty amazing how well it fits. I hope this is our new Nutcracker – maybe Slayer and Tom can make this a real thing and do it live. We can always dream about it, ask Santa for it, or possibly sacrifice a few goats and make it happen.
“Last Christmas” by Leo Moracchioli
Plenty of people can’t stand this song. But, this is a pretty great cover by Leo from Frog Leap Studios. For his videos, he records and mixes everything on his own, and the results are pretty cool. The highlight here is the zipper solo — classic and well done! Check out his other vids on YouTube.
Jonathan Young’s metal cover of “Jingle Bells”
Jonathan Young does many videos showing off his voice and musical talents. He of course plays all the parts in his videos, and mixes everything himself. If you’re into Broadway, Anime, Disney, and theatrical stuff you should definitely check out Young’s take on that sort of material. This is a real quick one and a simple one; it’s fun and makes me happy. Enjoy.
“Oh Tannenbaum” by not-Rammstein
This is not Rammstein! I repeat, this is not Rammstein. (It’s a comedy-metal group called Psychostick.) But man, it makes me want a Rammstein Christmas album so badly. The worship of the tree is in full metal effect, with the German turned way up. It’s weird and I love it.
“Run Run Rudolph” by Lemmy
Let’s show Lemmy some love here; he is one the kings. We all need more Lemmy in our lives. This is one of the few live versions of “Run Run Rudolph” you can find. RIP Lemmy — you always kept it real.
Christopher Lee’s Christmas
I hope you know that Christopher Lee put out many metal albums, including some really amazing Christmas metal albums. Yes, Saruman/Dooku himself. No, I’m not kidding. FOR REAL, they are the shit. He’s a wonderful man and he loves doing this, and it brings a dark joy to my heart. I love these tunes – learn more about Christopher Lee’s metal career here.
“Immortal Christmas IV – The Banishing,” feat. Philip Anselmo as Krampus
Yes, it’s metal sock puppets, along with Phil Anselmo of Pantera fame. Just glorious — an absolute masterpiece here. “The only gift he brings is pain.” I love that line. I need to use it more often.
Metalocalypse’s Christmas Tree
I figure it’s worth an ad here to just bring us back to center for a minute. Family — it’s all about family. Now please take these phones and get us new numbers. Classic.
Slayer/Mariah Carey Mashup
Like I was saying, Slayer always. This is either the greatest thing ever or something close to it [and it comes from legendary Alkaline Trio drummer Derek Grant, to boot -ed]. It might be become burned into your memory. Good. Pain: that’s what we are here for.
Merry Metal Christmas! May your season be as black as coal. And if you missed it, check out our original Full Metal Christmas from 2014 by clicking here.
Alex Jones may have been banned from Youtube. He may never dish out layups with tweety bird in the upcoming sequel to Space Jam, nor debut as the flailing hypernationalist version of Jonah Jameson for the next episode in the Spider-Man franchise. However, he could sing for a band. Whether he knows he’s doing so or not.
When YouTube banned Jones in August for violations of hate speech and harassment guidelines, they robbed the conservative rhetorician of his prized Infowars show, and left its fan base of basement dwellers and velcro-sporting theorists scattered amidst the wreckage.
Despite a strangely endless-seeming time during which Jones hosted the show, he didn’t make the best “tv personality.” Constantly on the edge of his seat, palms to his face in white-hot rage, Jones ranted at length. But few coherent points were ever raised; instead, he spent most of his time on menacing insinuations about invasive alien races and warnings about gay-frog chemtrail juice and globalist filtered water.
Most wouldn’t associate an easy target like Jones with greatness, and he’s unlikely to be on the right side of history once our bizarre current era has concluded. But the keen ears of a mysterious band based in Connecticut may finally have brought Jones to his true calling. In the context of political commentary, his voice is the equivalent of a shovel scraping over wet concrete. But it turns out that makes for some gnarly vocals.
The result of this realization: a rabid mutagen of a musical creation called the Alex Jones Prison Planet.
The group matches Jones’ proclaimed “90 percent hard news” ranting about neurotic conspiracies and inevitable doom approaching white America with brutal death metal, for some cuck-crushing headbanging.
The lineup of the band is unknown. The little information disclosed by the member(s) on their social media accounts tell us little more than their work. But they have been busy, releasing three EPs to date on their bandcamp site so far. Their debut, Cursed to Hell, was released in 2017, and they’ve followed it with two more — Crush the Parasites and Super Heavy Galactic Stuff. And with plenty of Jones’ absurd diatribes still scattered across the interplanetary cosmos of the world wide web, there is no reason for them to slow down.
No claims have been made by the group suggesting any sympathies for the views Jones has expressed during the span of his show’s years-long run. Whether their motives are to mock Infowars or promote it — or simply for the fuck of it — they’ve tapped into a goldmine.
So next time you’re enjoying a night with friends, take out your tactical taint wipes and foil hats, pop a few iodine tablets, and checkmate those globalists by giving everyone a listen and enjoying your ensuing damnation to deepest bowls of hell by Jones’ self-righteous fury. By the end of the first song, you’ll think you’ve found those fucking emails.
To check out the group and for more info, follow the link.
OK, so 4/20 is nearly a week ago now–but it’s never too late to chill out and fire up some brutal death metal from Richmond’s favorite weed-obsessed trio. Cannabis Corpse will be releasing their fourth full-length, and Season Of Mist Records debut, From Wisdom To Baked, in just under two months.
[Read more…] about Cannabis Corpse Preview Their Latest Slab Of Herbally Enhanced Death Metal With “Zero Weed Tolerance”
Friday, February 21 & Saturday, February 22, 9 PM both days
Wonderland Presents Little Heavy Rebel Weekend, featuring, Day 1: The Recently Deceased (pictured above), JJ Damage And The Bandits, Reverend D-Ray And The Shockers; Day 2: The Gojira Experiment, Tex Railer’s Doomtown, The Creep-A-Zoids @ Wonderland – $5 per show
Richmond’s home for raging punk, metal, and psychobilly sounds can seem a bit out of place amidst the decadent dance-party lifestyle that grips Shockoe Bottom these days, but Wonderland doesn’t let that bother them. This outstanding dive bar continues to represent for the out of control rock n’ roll lifestyle, and they’re making this post-Valentine’s Day weekend a special occasion where that’s concerned with a two-night extravaganza known as the Little Heavy Rebel Weekend!
[Read more…] about RVA Shows You Must See This Week: 2/19-2/25