Non-Binary

Gender Reveal Parties Are Out Of Control and The Originator Agrees

Ash Griffith | August 5, 2019

Topics: gender reveal, gender reveal parties, High Gloss And Sauce, jenna karuvinidis, Non-Binary, original gender reveal

After the baby celebrated in the original gender reveal party that went viral turned out to be gender non-conforming, party inventor Jenna Karuvinidis had some second thoughts about the trend.

Have you ever had a party to celebrate the revelation of your newborn offspring’s culturally-assigned gender and coordinating color pallets? Have you ever wanted to slice a cake in front of an audience, just to reveal a cascading waterfall of blue or pink M&Ms where appropriate?

Yeah, me either. Apparently, even the alleged originator of the world-renowned pain-in-the-ass baby shower idea, the “Gender Reveal Party,” has come out to say that she thinks it is a stupid idea.

Jenna Karuvinidis, creator of the blog High Gloss and Sauce, is originally credited with the concept of the gender reveal party — although originally, her party was pretty simple compared to today’s parties with their increasingly complex cakes and even one couple accidentally starting a wildfire.

“We had a knife and we cut into it all together, and we all saw the pink icing at the same time, and found out that we were having a girl,” Karvunidis told NPR.

Imagine a world where people created “vision boards” on cork boards from Staples using cut-up magazines. 2008 was a strange time, prior to the cultural touchstones that Instagram and Pinterest have become. All you had to do was slice into a cake filled with coordinating-colored icing, and you could start a cultural trend.

Whether you should want to or not is the next question.

“I mean gosh, I just like to throw parties,” Karvunidis said. “I just thought it would be really fun for everybody in the whole family to find out.”

The idea is initially simple and tame enough. A couple is having a baby, and they’re excited to find out what gender it is, learn more information about their forthcoming child, and share it with loved ones.

Gender is a lot more complex and convoluted than that, though, and everyone explores and interprets their gender — and the mere idea of it — in a myriad of ways. All are valid, and none are incorrect. However, further pushing the notion that there are only two genders, and then assigning one at birth, is extremely problematic.

Fun fact: Karvunidis completely agrees.

“Plot twist! The baby from the original gender reveal party is a girl who wears suits,” Karvunidis told NPR. “She says ‘she’ and ‘her’ and all of that, but you know, she really goes outside gender norms.”

*Karvunidis, right, her daughter Bee, center, and their family (via High Gloss And Sauce/Facebook*)

The irony that the first-ever subject of a gender reveal party turned out to be a gender-nonconforming is even more delicious than a cake full of blue peanut M&Ms from Costco.

Karvunidis credited her ten-year-old daughter with helping her ideas about gender evolve. “She’s telling me ‘Mom, there are many genders. Mom, there’s many different sexualities and all different types,’ and I take her lead on that.”

Karvunidis also acknowledges that the now-ubiquitous trend of gender reveal parties has bummed out a lot of people who don’t feel their gender is summed up by their birth assignment. “I know it’s been harmful to some individuals. It’s 2019, we don’t need to get our joy by giving others pain,” she told NPR. “I think there’s a new way to have these parties.”

For Karvunidis, that involves getting away from prenatal concerns about gender, and just focusing on the reason for the season. “Celebrate the baby,” she told NPR. “There’s no way to have a cake to cut into it, to see if they’re going to like chess. Let’s just have a cake.”

Here’s How Trans And Gender Non-Conforming Virginians Can Ensure Vote In 2018

Sage Cannady | September 26, 2018

Topics: commonwealth of virginia, Mid-Term Elections, Non-Binary, transgender, virignia, voting, voting right

*This article was original published on GayRVA.

According to a recent Williams Institute study, as many as 78,000 transgender citizens may be prevented from voting in 2018. In eight states including Virginia, voting law requires voters to show a government-issued IDs. And with many transgender and gender-nonconforming people no longer looking like their ID photos — due to surgeries, hormone therapy, and other changes to their appearance — they therefore risk being turned down by officials working the polls.

Bary Hausrath, a lawyer and transgender ally from the Virginia Equality Bar Association, points out that other options are available to potential trans voters. “Virginia does have strict voter I.D. laws for voting,” he said. ”But anyone can get a voter I.D. that is a photo I.D. just for the purpose of voting, that does not have the gender marker on it.” The Virginia Voter Photo ID Application, which is available online, should be turned in at the registrar’s office, where they will take a current picture of you that can be added to your card.

However, even this form may not be enough if the transgender or gender nonconforming person have not changed their legal name. Despite the complications in the state of Virginia though, Hausrath said, “Virginia has one of the easiest set of regulations on getting the gender markered on driver’s license” in comparison to other states. Bary went on to say that the financial cost is also “relatively low.”s,” said Hausrath

The Virginia Equality Bar works to provide “clinics around the state to help people get identification documents and change their name on various documents.” They will be performing this service at Equality Virginia’s TIES conference in late October, but if you hope to vote in 2018, TIES will be too late to get your documentation ready in time. Hausrath encourages those who are in need to start the documentation process now.

For trans people who are in need of current legal documentation, the most important aspect to focus time and energy into is getting your legal name changed. Information on starting this process can be found through the National Center for Transgender Equality’s website, which lists instructions for all state and federal documentation a transgender person might need.

The Virginia Equality Bar Association is based in Richmond, but several other aid networks for transgender and gender non-conforming citizens exist around the state. Equality Virginia’s TIES pop-ups, which happen in various cities across the state, help bring these sorts of resources to people who don’t live in close proximity to Virginia’s capital, including Norfolk, Virginia and Winchester, Virginia. In addition to help with legal documentation, these clinics also include medical and mental health consultations, job training, advocacy workshops, and introductions to supportive organizations based within the local community.

Hausrath is still concerned about the safety of transgender citizens under the current administration. “Our community needs to be on guard and vigilant,” he said. “You never know where the next attack will come from, but when it comes to voting I think most of the damage from the federal level has been done.”

Voting is just one of many ways that citizens can directly impact politics, but it is the most direct opportunity we have to choose who represents us in government. It may be more difficult for transgender and gender non-conforming Virginians to make their votes count this year, but the opportunity to make our voices heard is one we should be take advantage of, especially within the current political climate.

Dog Lagoon Shares Juicy Musical Magic on New EP, Moneyball

Samantha Rinchetti | January 24, 2018

Topics: Dog Lagoon, emo, indie, LGBTQ Allies, Non-Binary, richmond, rock and roll, virginia

Richmond is a town thriving with music from all genres and sub-genres. Whether it is punk, hardcore, metal, indie, emo, rap, or hip-hop, bands always need to figure out a way to stand out in a scene packed with other bands. Dog Lagoon has managed to do so. This up-and-coming 2000s emo-meets-Julien Baker indie-punk band from Richmond is one that everyone needs to hear.

The band, consisting of Emily Hardenberger (Guitar, Vocals) Marshall B. Mulkey (Guitar, Vocals) Patrick Allen (Bass) Chris Corbo (Drums), found themselves playing together after Hardenberger reached out to Mulkey and Corbo.

“It started as just Emily and Marshall writing acoustic songs around March of 2017,” said Corbo. “We [Marshall and Chris] were in another band called Sushi Twin, and during the summer of 2017, Emily and Marshall asked me to drum for Dog Lagoon. We played a couple shows as a two-guitar, one-drum trio.”

The trio soon realized that they were in a good spot and wanted to keep the momentum that they had going. “We wanted to start gigging more seriously and more often, and recruited our friend Patrick Allen, former bassist of Inquiry to manage the low end.” said Mulkey. “The four of us have been rocking hard since then.”

Rocking hard is something that they have definitely been sticking to. The group recently released their Moneyball EP, which consists of two upbeat songs, “I Don’t Smoke” and “Free Juice.”

<a href="http://doglagoon.bandcamp.com/album/moneyball">Moneyball by dog lagoon</a>

Songwriting responsibilities have been split up 50/50 between Hardenberger and Mulkey. “They’re the masterminds,” said Corbo. “The process so far has been, one of them comes up with the basic foundation of a song, and they’d bring it to the rest of band. I handle the beat department, the other guitarist finds a sick riff to play over it, and Patrick just tries to figure out what’s going on.”

Although the band claims that the Moneyball EP was simply a quick two songs meant to get their music and their voice out there, it sounds anything but rushed. It brings you back to the mid 2000s emo and indie resurgence. All of the recordings were done by Corbo, who has recorded previous bands and is looking for more bands to record as well (“other Richmond bands, hello!” they quipped at one point). The EP sounds clean and well mastered while also keeping the DIY grittiness of the genre intact.

The band continues to do a lot in the Richmond scene, playing shows with such well-known bands as Big Mama Shakes and recording a music video for the song “Free Juice.” But their impact does not stop with the music.

Both Mulkey and Corbo are non-binary and go by they/them pronouns. The band hopes to make an impact and educate listeners on what it means to be non-binary. They hope to raise awareness of the struggle to live outside the gender binary and try to find outlets for personal expression of gender while navigating a xenophobic society that doesn’t understand, and often doesn’t want to.

“We have been met with nothing but respect from the community,” said Hardenberg “We are looking forward to advocate more for the LGBTQ community within the indie and pop-punk scene, where most of our contemporaries just consist of 3 or 4, tall and skinny, middle class, cisgender, straight, white males who write misogynistic songs about their exes.”

Dog Lagoon has a lot of momentum right now, and no plans on stopping. “For our next record we want to have us all writing everything together from the beginning rather than splitting the work 50/50,” said Corbo. “We are totally independent right now and are just waiting for a hot label to pick us up. We’re not too good for labels–everybody needs help.”

Top Photo by Destiny Martinez