It’s another week of Missed Connections, where every week seems to bring some new outbreak of crazy. Will the coming reopening calm us all down a bit before the inevitable second wave of infections? We shall see, but for this week, things remain a bit… off in the MC world. Your most clear demonstration is what certainly seems to be a recruiting ad for an apocalyptic cult.
But even though that’s really in a class by itself, we’ve got plenty of other entertaining highlights from Craigslist’s most notorious section this week, including a memorable back-and-forth involving drunken ex-husbands with guns, the public breakup of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, and all the rooftop smokers and driveway skateboarders your little heart can stand.
One word of warning: “Fix me a sandwich” is never an effective pickup line. This ain’t South Park, dude, and it ain’t your momma’s basement either. But in all seriousness, if you are in need of medical attention for a non-COVID-19 issue, it’s still acceptable to go to the hospital. Put on your mask, hit the emergency room, and get that abscess looked at.
Stay safe out there, Virginia.
What you have seen so far is only just the beginning.
Great change is coming. The veil has been lifted and you have begun to realize what sterile, boring and unfulfilled lives you have lived.
You followed all the rules. You did what you were supposed to do, and what was the reward that you were promised?
I offer a return to what is primal and real. Pleasure and connection to nature.
“The plague marked the beginning. People were more willing to dare to do things which they would not previously have admitted to enjoying. People tended much more to think that they might reasonably get some enjoyment out of life.”
– Thucydides, 431 B.C.
You smoke cigarettes on your fire escape and I watched you hop the ledge to sit on the roof next door. I check my mailbox when I see you in hope of catching your eye. I only have a window. You have a small orange dog you walk with a blue leash. Shooting my shot in the dark.
Ladies, if you’re new to the area, “Fix me a sandwich woman” is considered superior male foreplay here behind the Pine Curtain. Just think of it as a term of endearment.
HMU if you make a mean sandwich.
Wm looking for a woman to take my v card
Hey, come back! I really am divorced. I didn’t know he was gonna show up and specially not drunk. He wouldnt have done nothing to you. I hollared loud enough I think he finally gets it. He won’t be coming round anymore promise! Come back so we can finish what we started. I didn’t even get to play with your jewelry. Your not too old for piercings I like how they look. At least unblock me so I can tezt you and explain. Okay.
Are you freaking kidding me? Your “not husband” had a gun! He would have shot me if I had been a little slower! You’re nuts if you think anything like this is worth getting shot over.
Look, you seem like a nice person, but you need to figure your life out. And you should NOT invite anyone to your place when there’s the very strong possibility of a drunk redneck wandering in with a gun, ex or not.
Thanks for trying to help me, I greatly appreciate it, but I’m out. And don’t worry about my shirt, I don’t need it that bad.
I’m butt naked and willing to bring you something to eat from where you want. I’ll bring it to your doorstep, house or apartment. Put your restaurant in the title. Female only, and please be able to prove it.
Skater girl, skating in her driveway today. You were near battlefield blvd. You kept looking at me when I passed by. I skate too, let’s kick it sometime..
The good Watson had at that time deserted me…………., the only selfish action I can recall in our association. I was alone.
Maybe Watson grew tired of mind games. Fuck off Sherlock. You had your chance.
It’s a ghost town here. There has to be something interesting going on for a decent looking fit guy.
Seeing if anyone else wants to email or text during this great social distancing. Age doesn’t matter, well, def at least be over 18. Prefer to talk to females but males are welcome. Tell me what’s been keeping you busy during this time. Did you pick up on any new hobbies? Read any good books? Discover a new show? Or are you doing home renovations or upgrades? Let’s talk!
Side note: If you happen to be one of those essential people, I just want to say thank you for everything that you do and I appreciate everything your doing. Thank you, stay healthy, and stay safe out there!
I always liked the jeep. Definitely a much cooler ride. I found a pink slip under a bottle today, and note under a door. If cosmic rays combine, will they explode?
The correct answer would be…
Only if they are really hot.
And if its too hot just take a cold bath.
I have an abscess wound that I have to shower and replace the gauze and pad but it’s in a place I can’t see…..does anyone really know how to do this and willing to do a “house call” to help me replace the gauze and padding….I will pay you for a visit to do this.