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Planning A Trip? Hampton Roads Is Your LGBTQ Destination.

Eric Hause | July 12, 2019

Topics: Hampton Roads, LGBTQ travel, MJ's Tavern, Norfolk, Spirit of Norfolk, Summer 2019 Pride Guide, The Rainbow Cactus, Vacation, ViBe Creative District, Virginia Beach

Our 2019 Summer Pride Guide, in collaboration with VA Pride, is out now! Here’s one of our articles from that magazine, in which Outwire 757’s Eric Hause gives us a guide to the perfect LGBTQ vacation in Hampton Roads.

When you think about LGBTQ-friendly vacation destinations, there’s no doubt that big cities come to mind: San Francisco and New York, Buenos Aires and Sydney. But if you can’t afford a day or two — let alone a week — on such a globetrotting trip, look no further than your backyard for a destination that’s welcoming, affordable, and full of exciting things to see and do. 

I’m talking about Hampton Roads. 

Sure, you’re not going to collect beads at the carnival in Rio, or march in the World Pride Parade. But as a 25-year resident and leader in the local LGBTQ community, I can tell you that Hampton Roads has plenty to offer. Whether you’re looking for an all-gay, all-day party vacation, a refined cultural experience, or a sea adrift on memory bliss beach vacation, we’ve got it in Hampton Roads — Virginia’s cul de sac. 

Hampton Roads has come a long way in a short amount of time when it comes to affirming and welcoming LGBTQ visitors. The visitor bureaus in three of the major cities (Norfolk, Virginia Beach, and Hampton) have active LGBTQ travel marketing programs, and the local hospitality industry (which we all know would evaporate without queer employees) whole-heartedly supports those initiatives. 

In addition, Hampton Roads Pride and HRBOR (the area’s LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce) work closely with LGBTQ-owned and allied businesses to develop inclusive activities and safe spaces. 

Oh, and did I mention that you can’t swing a cat around here without hitting a festival, museum, or performing arts organization that offers LGBTQ programming? 

But that’s enough of the travel brochure propaganda. Let’s get on with it. Here are a few queer-themed and affirmative vacation itineraries, whether you’re visiting for a day or a week. 

Disclosure: I have personal experience with each of the businesses mentioned in this article. All are LGBTQ-friendly. 

Courtesy Virginia Beach CVB

The Urban Experience

Downtown Norfolk has become the spiritual center of the Hampton Roads LGBTQ community. That’s a far cry from the days when it was a collection of rundown warehouses, tattoo parlors, and shady bars with a level of debauchery so depraved that The New York Voice deemed it “Hell’s Half Acre.” 

The city’s contemporary version is a world-class destination that frequently ranks in Top Ten lists of mid-sized cities to visit. With waterfront festivals nearly every weekend from spring through autumn, world class arts organizations, museums, shopping, dining, and nightlife, it’s not your grandmother’s Norfolk any longer. 

Accommodations are varied, and range from the five-star mega-hotels to luxurious bed-and-breakfasts and quaint historic inns. 

The Hilton MAIN is the crown jewel of downtown Norfolk’s bustling scene. Plopped right in the center of it all, it’s definitely an upscale experience. With three excellent restaurants (including a rooftop bar with thrilling views of the harbor), immaculate overnight rooms with five-star amenities, and superior customer service, The MAIN competes with high-end hotels found mainly in large cities. 

For those interested in a quieter accommodation, check out two nearby LGBTQ-friendly inns. The Page House Inn is in a historic (and reputedly haunted) 1899 house in the Hague. The décor harkens back the home’s Victorian origins, but the rooms are spacious and comfortable with modern amenities. Your hostess, Miss Deb, always gets rave reviews from her guests. 

Option number two is Four Eleven York, a new boutique inn and restaurant concept located in the Freemason Historic District. Located in the former Freemason Inn Bed and Breakfast, the inn has been completely renovated, with amazing touches and a modernist feel. The owners also own the restaurant of the same name next door, which features an eclectic Modern American menu. 

Both Page House and Four Eleven are just steps from the Chrysler Museum, and a short walk to downtown, Ghent (Norfolk’s Gayborhood), and the artsy NEON district. 

Hilton MAIN (Photo by Keith Cephus)

After settling in, it’s time to explore, and all you’ll need is a comfortable pair of shoes. Downtown Norfolk is delightfully walkable. In the event you want to move more quickly, the Tide Light Rail traverses most of downtown with stops at nearly every street corner. If biking is more your speed, rent a PACE bike from one of the many rental stations throughout the area. 

Start at the Waterside District, located on Norfolk’s waterfront. Waterside is open year-round, day and night to accommodate next-level dining and entertainment for all ages. Grab a bite, a drink, and a seat overlooking the harbor, and take in some live tunes. This is where your vacation begins. 

From there, take a walk (or a bike) along Norfolk’s beautiful waterfront, which starts at Harbor Park (home of the Norfolk Tides baseball team), then proceeds to Town Point Park, the USS Wisconsin, and the Freemason District. This route is part of the Elizabeth River Trail, a 10.5-mile walking/biking trail that winds along the city’s harbor and riverfront. 

Nightlife is never in short supply downtown. Between restaurants and bars, live entertainment, and special events, there’s always something happening. Your best bet is to take a stroll down Granby Street after dark; you’ll find something appealing. 

If you’re in town between April and October, First Fridays are a must, with entertainment ranging from live music to June’s Stiletto Stomp drag race. A harbor cruise also brings a beautiful perspective on the city, with The American Rover offering sailing cruises departing daily from Waterside Marina. This summer, OutWire757 hosts two Rover LGBTQ charters: a Midnight Moonlight cruise in July, and a Farewell to Summer sail on Labor Day weekend.

The Spirit of Norfolk is also a great option for nightly dinner and dance cruises, as well as the occasional late-night drag show cruise. 

Head over to FestEvents for a schedule of upcoming festivals in Town Point Park. There’s one going on almost every weekend between May and October — of course, the one you won’t want to miss is Hampton Roads Pride in June. 

Finally, don’t forget to check out the performance schedules for Virginia Stage Company, Virginia Arts Festival, and SevenVenues. In the past, these organizations have brought top-notch LGBTQ favorites such as Kristin Chenoweth, Richard Alston Dance, Storm Large, and Wanda Sykes to town. 

You can also find the local queer community at three hopping LGBTQ clubs. MJs Tavern is a popular neighborhood bar, with a mixed clientele that’s open for lunch, dinner, and brunch on the weekends. The Wave is a late-night dance club with decidedly younger vibe. 37th and Zen hosts a mixed crowd and some interesting entertainment offerings, from Goth to kink, as well as karaoke and drag shows. 

Life’s A Beach

If a beach retreat is more to your liking, look no further than Norfolk’s sister city, Virginia Beach. The resort area is the heart of the region’s travel industry. 

Comprised of a four-mile stretch of resorts, restaurants, nightlife, and activities along a paved oceanfront boardwalk, the resort area has seen its share of reputation-challenging events over the past couple of decades. However, Virginia Beach has turned that around with the advent of a development facelift and world-class events and festivals, such as the recent Something in the Water Festival, that are committed to creating an inclusive and diverse experience for all travelers. 

The newly-remodeled Cavalier Hotel on the north end lends a luxurious touch to any vacation. Over the past 100 years, the Cavalier has welcomed ten U.S. Presidents, as well as countless celebrities and distinguished guests from around the world. Perched on a grassy hill overlooking the Atlantic Ocean, that history has earned the Cavalier a spot on the National Register of Historic Places. 

Today, it offers a complete vacation experience and actively welcomes the LGBTQ community. With 85 jaw-dropping guest rooms, five-star dining in one of the resort’s three restaurants, a full-service spa, and an on-site whiskey and bourbon distillery, you might not want to leave the property. 

Courtesy The Cavalier

One of our other favorite hotels is the delightfully modern Oceanaire Resort. The 18-story oceanfront tower is filled with contemporary touches, which garnered the distinguished Project of Excellence Award at the 2013 ARDA World Convention. 

There’s so much to do here, too. Catch a breathtaking sunrise over the ocean from the tenth floor Skydeck. Spend the day basking on the beach. Take a dip in the adults-only Aqua 21 indoor pool. Head out for an evening of bar-hopping along the boardwalk, then be lulled to sleep to the sound of the surf in your ocean-view room. It’s worth mentioning that the Cavalier and the Oceanaire are two of many Virginia Beach resorts that host weddings, with a particular emphasis on LGBTQ nuptials. 

Virginia Beach is also known for its thousands of vacation rental homes. Particularly suited for long, lazy family or group beach vacations, homes range from mansions to quaint cedar-shingle beach boxes. 

For a get-away-from-it-all beach vacation, take a look at Sandbridge. Often compared to North Carolina’s Outer Banks, Sandbridge is only minutes from the resort area, but worlds away in terms of its relaxed pace and beach community vibe. Most of the homes are in a vacation rental program, and none are more than two blocks from the oceanfront. LGBTQ-friendly Siebert Realty carries hundreds of fully-furnished beach home and condo rentals. 

So it’s Saturday night, and you’re asking yourself, where’s the queer nightlife in Virginia Beach? 

First of all, you’re going to want to head over to the ViBe Creative District. Just a couple of blocks off the Oceanfront, ViBe is Virginia Beach’s cultural arts enclave, and a hub for artisans of all disciplines. Food and beverage options are plentiful, and range from pork all ways at Beach Bully Barbecue to organic, seasonal, and sustainable fare at Commune. 

After dinner, take a stroll around the ViBe to admire the colorful original murals, pop in to Chesapeake Bay Distillery for a tasting of their signature Blue Ridge Vodka, or settle with a good cup of java at Bad Ass Coffee. 

After dinner, head to Virginia Beach’s Town Center for a show at The Sandler Center for the Performing Arts, or something more cutting-edge at Zeiders American Dream Theater. 

Sandler focuses on nationally-renowned artists, and has hosted LGBTQ performers such as Melissa Etheridge, David Sedaris, and Michael Feinstein. Just across the street, the new Zeiders American Dream Theater’s mission is to foster and introduce new artists, composers, and creative writers. Here you’ll find original comedy, story slams, live music of all genres, and an open and welcoming community. 

After the show, stop in to The Rainbow Cactus, Virginia Beach’s only traditional LGBTQ bar. The Cactus welcomes all ages and identities, with everything from live music to drag shows to late-night dance parties. 

Of course, a beach vacation wouldn’t be complete without exploring Virginia Beach’s natural wonders. We suggest you head out to sea with a Rudee Tours cruise. The company has operated local sightseeing tours out of Rudee Inlet for more than 35 years, including dolphin tours, whale-watching tours, sunset cruises, and the infamous Rudee Rocket (a must for high-speed thrill seekers). 

For another view of the area’s oceangoing wildlife, spend a couple of hours at the Virginia Aquarium, where you’ll be wowed by 800,000 gallons of aquariums and animal habitats. The Aquarium also produces a number of learning boat tours, as well as a challenging Adventure Park ropes course for those who enjoy a more hands-on experience. 

On the north end, First Landing State Park is a queer camping and outdoor recreation favorite. Sprawled across 3,000 acres of wetland and sandy beaches at the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay, it’s a quiet oasis adjacent to the fast pace of the resort area. 

Visiting for the day? Grab a quiet spot on the beach, take a hike or a bike on 19 miles of trails, or spread out a picnic under the shade of ancient cypress and pine trees. 

The park is a great overnight option for those inclined to commune closely with nature. It has 200 wooded or open campsites nestled behind the back dunes of the beach, and 20 modern cabins with central heat and air, running water, and kitchens. 

Beyond The Metro

Queer Hampton Roads isn’t just Norfolk and Virginia Beach. Take a look beyond the well-worn path for other LGBTQ-owned and allied businesses in places like Hampton, Williamsburg and the Eastern Shore. For a self-reported list of those across the Commonwealth, visit Virginia Tourism at www.virginia.org/LGBT. 

Top Photo by Eric Hause

It Isn’t Just For Big Cities Anymore: Across Virginia, Smaller Communities Bring Pride to Main Street

Jo Rozycki | July 10, 2019

Topics: Hill City Pride, LGBT Tech, Pride Month, Spectrum Arts Society, Staunton Pride, Summer 2019 Pride Guide

Our 2019 Summer Pride Guide, in collaboration with VA Pride, is out now! Here’s one of our articles from that magazine, in which we examine the rise of Pride festivities in smaller cities and towns around the Commonwealth.

If you had to put a Pride festival in any town across the Commonwealth of Virginia, Lynchburg is probably one of the last places you would pick. But for Michael Kittinger, it felt like the perfect place to host the LGBTQ celebration. 

“Moving to Lynchburg ten years ago, one of the things I was worried about was, “Is there an LGBTQ community in Lynchburg?” he said. 

It was here where Kittinger became a part of Spectrum Arts Society, a nonprofit organization under which the performing arts takes an LGBTQ focus. Kittinger is now on the board of Spectrum Arts. 

But even with this organization operating locally, something was missing: a Pride event celebrating Lynchburg. “I knew several of the members of Spectrum Arts Society, and had just been talking to them,” said Kittinger. “They understood bringing pride to the Lynchburg community.” Thus, in the spring of 2019, Lynchburg held its first Pride festival, under the name Hill City Pride. 

“When we first started planning this, one of our early meetings went over defining what success and failure look like,” he said. “We needed to know what those measurements would be, so that we would know how successful of a Pride [it would be].” Creating the goal of receiving 10 vendors and 500 attendees, Kittinger and his team set out to find sponsors. 

“Being a first year start-up Pride, it’s hard to go out and solicit donor money, whether it’s from corporate or individuals, because they would want to know, ‘What kind of return am I going to get?’ And we didn’t have those numbers.” 

Before he knew it, Kittinger had nearly 27 vendors waiting to join. He had to cap it there. And on the day of Hill City Pride, April 13, nearly 1600 people showed up. “I remember when the gates first opened and we let in those first people, I was almost in tears standing there,” he said. “There was a line out the door.” 

Deep in the valley of Virginia, Kittinger was aware that there would be some backlash. A protester showed up on the day of Hill City Pride with signs in hand. A few joined him, but for the majority of the day, the man stood alone. Emcee and kickoff host Delighted Tobehere, a drag queen from New York City, greeted the crowd at the start. “I have three rules when it comes to protesters: ignore, ignore, ignore.” 

Kittinger was thankful for her words. Volunteers and police officers urged the attendees away from interacting with the protester. But the weather took a turn in the festival’s favor. “It was more of a misty morning. The protester had painted all of his signs in water-soluble paint. It looked like the Wicked Witch of the West and he [was] just melting away. The sign just ran away, and it was almost a metaphor for what the event was: here we are in the community, and we’re blurring those lines of what a family looks like, what does acceptance look like, and getting rid of stereotypes.” 

photo via Staunton Pride/Twitter

Tucked away in the Shenandoah Valley, Staunton boasts historical scenery, authentic Shakespeare at Blackfriars Playhouse, and a Harry Potter festival. Soon after the magical festival in September of 2018, Staunton hosted its first Pride, hosted by local technological research company LGBT Tech. Chris Wood, the Executive Director of LGBT Tech and the founder of Staunton Pride, knew Staunton would be a special place to host a Pride festival. 

“We have the Prides in Harrisonburg, and that’s really meant to do the [Shenandoah] valley,” Wood said. “There was enough want here in the city and go ahead and warrant its own, [while] making sure we’re not doing it across other Prides.” Wood took into account the nearby Pride in Harrisonburg, as well as that of neighboring Charlottesville, and was given the green light to bring Pride to Staunton.

After coordinating with the city of Staunton, Staunton Pride ended up occupying most of the main downtown drag of Beverly Street, considered one of the most picturesque downtown areas in America. “We had a stage at the edge of Market and Beverley, the biggest stage that’s ever been put on Beverley Street,” said Wood. “It was huge. It rose well above the street lights.” 

With the quintessential theme “Love Is Love,” Wood and his team set out to create what they thought was exactly what Staunton needed in a Pride festival: entertainment, vendors, safety, and community. 

“We had vendors from people selling Pride-related things all the way to Augusta Health, and we were doing [HIV] testing on-site,” he said. In addition to the entertainment acts and the bustling celebration downtown, Wood and his team offered a warm room, a space for attendees to go unwind and seek mental health care if necessary. 

“A lot of individuals, [including those who are] part of the LGBTQ community, get overwhelmed in events like that, or just can’t be around that many people,” said Wood. “So we want to make sure that they have space as well. We had therapists in there. It was a very quiet space.” 

photo via Staunton Pride/Twitter

While most Prides can end up falling under the adult ratings, flowing with beverages and corporate representation, Wood and his team ensured that Staunton Pride would be local and approachable. “We tried to make sure that it was family-friendly, kid-friendly — that people could come and experience it in a safe, comfortable way regardless of how you wanted to experience it, and really invite the entire community out, and supporters.” 

Wood never underestimated the presence of Staunton’s LGBTQ community. After moving to Staunton with his husband, he discovered through his family that there was a presence, a need, with the LGBTQ community. And Wood saw that void could be filled through a Pride. 

“We’ve been working with the city really closely,” he said. “I wanted it to go off really well. I wanted to make sure that the city was happy with it, that the residents of the town were happy with it.” 

With somewhere between 3,000 and 4,000 attendees, Wood felt good about the success of the first Pride festival in Staunton. “Although we kept our ears to the ground and we kept listening, I wasn’t really worried about people backlashing about it, being upset about it. We really had a lot of support from a lot of people, a lot of businesses.” 

When asked about negative reactions, Wood laughed in response. “The police were so bored,” he said. According to the police captain, Wood said, everyone was respectful and courteous. The greatest emergency occurred when a swarm of bees infested a food cart. “All of the police were over there trying to help them out.” In regards to the sheer mundaneness of the activity, he said, “It was a really good problem to have.” 

For larger metropolitan areas like Washington D.C. and Richmond, having a Pride festival allows for people to come out in droves to celebrate, dance, eat, drink, see and be seen by the community. For many, a small-town Pride doesn’t seem like it would generate that much interest. But both Wood and Kittinger could see the impacts of the Pride events in their cities. 

Kittinger was approached by a mother of an eighth grader who identifies as gay. He was picked on, and felt out of place in such a small town. But once he heard about Hill City Pride, he begged his mom to allow him and his friends to attend. 

“She brought them out, and she said, ‘It’s the first time he really felt like he was part of a community, and part of something bigger.’” Kittinger said if it can make a difference, an impact, even just on that one eighth grader, he feels that Hill City Pride is a success. 

Wood can attest to the impact his city’s Pride has made on the community. “There was an older gentleman who came down with his husband from Silver Spring,” he explained. “I sat down with him at the picnic table, and he said, ‘I just had to come see it for myself. I just had to come see that Staunton was actually having a Pride.’ There were a lot of stories like that.” 

photo via Staunton Pride/Twitter

Both organizers wanted their Prides to reflect their community in a personal way. 

“You have your larger metropolitan areas that put on events, but, just like in the LGBTQ community, they don’t necessarily represent the face of what our residents look like, what our community looks like,” said Kittinger. “It really is important for communities of all sizes to have their own way to celebrate diversity and show that they are an inclusive community, even if it is a small town.” 

“I think there can be a misconception that there’s just not gay people in the Shenandoah Valley,” said Wood. But, he said, he thinks there are way more than meets the eye. “For these types of towns to grow, you have to celebrate diversity, and you have to be willing to accept that it is a very diverse world, even more today than 50 years ago. Supporting [the] LGBTQ [community] is just one step in that for these towns.” 

A Pride festival is not only a place to venture into the public eye unabashedly. It is a statement of presence and celebration. And while the question of whether or not holding a Pride event in a small town is “worth it” is often asked, it should be considered irrelevant in 2019. Through the conversations with Wood and Kittinger, it is unsurprisingly-evident that an LGBTQ community can exist, thrive, and flourish, even in the distant woods and mountains of Virginia. There is no area in the Commonwealth that’s too small or too rural to host a Pride. 

Staunton Pride will be hosting several events over the course of this year, including a gala, but will host its next Pride festival in April 2020. “We think through it, and we make sure we’re growing slowly, and in a way that’s manageable,” said Wood. “It is about the community itself — it’s about the community supporting the community.” 

Hill City Pride will host its second year in the spring of 2020. “I firmly believe that when you have a diverse and inclusive community, you bring together the best of people and people are allowed to be their authentic, true selves,” said Kittinger. “We’ve got to keep the train moving, and look toward the future.”

Top photo via Staunton Pride/Twitter

Won’t You Be My Gaybor?

Wyatt Gordon | July 8, 2019

Topics: Babe's of Carytown, Beth Marschak, Bill Harrison, Carytown, Dirtwoman, Diversity Richmond, gayborhood, Leo Koury, Summer 2019 Pride Guide, The Block

Our 2019 Summer Pride Guide, in collaboration with VA Pride, is out now! Here’s one of our articles from that magazine, in which Wyatt Gordon examines Richmond’s lack of a gayborhood, and what that means for our city.

If I told you I went to a bar in the Castro, would you even need me to say I was in San Francisco? When you watch something set in New York City, do you realize how often you’re only seeing the West Village? Could you imagine going out in D.C. without spending time in Dupont Circle? 

Some neighborhoods become so famous (or is it infamous?), they can gain a reputation that rivals that of the city in which they are located. Across the world, many beloved and notorious neighborhoods were pioneered by people who today proudly revel in the label of being queer. All of which leads to an obvious question for those of us who live in Virginia’s capital city: does Richmond have a “gayborhood”? And if so, where is it? 

Many might argue that the capital of the Commonwealth is too small to sustain a gayborhood. San Francisco, New York, and Washington are all far bigger cities than Richmond. Could it be that predominantly queer neighborhoods only form once a city has graduated from mid-sized status and evolved into a true metropole? Portland, Oregon won’t let you believe that nonsense for a second. The avant-garde boutiques, trendy restaurants, and — yes — male strip clubs of Burnside Triangle have made the area into the hub of Oregon’s LGBTQ community since at least the turn of the century. And it’s not just the gays who have their own neighborhood. Portlandia’s feminist bookstore is far more than a fan-favorite sketch, it’s a comedic interpretation of Hawthorne, a neighborhood in the city’s southeast, which may be America’s most concentrated lesbian gayborhood. 

Photo by Sara Wheeler

So if size isn’t holding Richmond’s theoretical gayborhood back, could it be our Southern-ness? The South isn’t known for its progressive instincts, nor its inclination toward protecting human rights. Indeed, of the only 24 states in our Union with protections for sexual orientation and/or gender identity in the workplace, not a single one can be found in the South — Virginia included. Three southern states (North Carolina, Arkansas, and Tennessee) even go so far as to prohibit the passage and/or enforcement of non-discrimination laws ratified by localities. 

Despite the South’s prejudiced policies towards LGBTQ Americans, several of the region’s most iconic cities have established gayborhoods inextricably woven into their modern tapestry. Over a dozen gay bars with names like the 700 Club, Rawhide, and the Corner Pocket congregate around St. Ann Street in New Orleans’ French Quarter. For those who would write off the Big Easy as an Acadian anomaly, consider Nashville, the cradle of country music and the self-proclaimed “Athens of the South.” Less than a dozen blocks from the Tennessee State Capital and the Ryman Auditorium (the original home of the Grand Ole Opry) lies Church Street: Music City’s gay mecca. Nashville’s gayborhood has become so famously pro “bears” — slang for large, hairy men that project an image of rugged masculinity — that a local news outlet released a “Grizzlies Guide to Nashville,” chronicling the neighborhood’s top gay bars. 

Atlanta, the unofficial capital of the “New South,” may be the gayest of all. In the city’s last mayoral race in 2017, Atlanta’s first openly gay city council member, Cathy Woolard, came in third. The two remaining candidates released entire LGBTQ policy platforms to combat rising HIV infection rates, shelter the city from state-level discriminatory measures, and — most importantly — woo Atlanta’s queer voters. 

Not all Southern cities are as bold. Richmond has never had an openly gay City Council member, and our last gay candidate for mayor was Dirtwoman (who led a campaign widely derided as a stunt). Only last year did City Council vote to designate the LGBTQ community a protected people — and that decision only came in the wake of Alexandria, Charlottesville, Virginia Beach, and Newport News beating us to the punch. 

Furthermore, there is a debate as to whether the designation is little more than window dressing. Virginia is a Dillon Rule state, which means that cities must govern according to statewide rules, unless explicitly given permission to do otherwise. As our Commonwealth’s Human Rights Act does not include protections for sexual orientation or gender identity, most lawyers agree that local-level protections are meaningless. Much to the chagrin of NoVA’s swelling suburbs and the state’s increasing ranks of home-grown progressives, Virginia often acts more like the former capital of the Confederacy than a beacon of the New South. 

Could the South’s culture of conflict-avoidance and bad track record protecting the rights of minorities mean that Richmond’s gayborhood is out there, but hiding below the surface? Local civil rights activist and author of Lesbian and Gay Richmond Beth Marschak doesn’t disagree with this idea. “Back in the 1970s there were fewer people in the South that were very out,” she said. “It was more of an open-secret style of being out: people were never gay, they were ‘eccentric.’ Being closeted like that impacts what people are able to do, and how they are able to organize.” 

It also impacts whether or not you’re willing to out yourself to your neighbors. Something we see  as benign today, like hanging a rainbow flag from your porch, would have been an unthinkable form of protest half a century ago. Culturally, Marschak doesn’t feel that much has changed, either. “Even if you were to walk around in Richmond’s gayest neighborhoods, are you going to see a lot of rainbow flags? Not really — you’ll see a few, but not a lot,” she said. “You’re not going to see a real visible LGBT presence anywhere in the city.” 

Photo via The Valentine Historical Archive

Alas, Richmond has long been a city adept at covering facts with a sheen of alternate reality. After all, until the year 2000, we pretended a holiday simultaneously celebrating two Confederate generals and the leader of the Civil Rights Movement was normal. In the state that chose the term “Massive Resistance” to describe its stance on school integration, it should come as no surprise that gay liberation was only won thanks to a generation willing to storm the streets, risking their lives, livelihoods, and — gasp — reputations. Queers thrived in Richmond since before the days that word was used as a slur against them, and long before it was reclaimed as a proud banner for our full community of societally-dubbed misfits. 

Ask any gay elder about “the Block” and you’ll quickly give up any notions that previous generations were comprised of prudes. During WWII, downtown Richmond teemed with rambunctious men, as Broad Street Station and the USO brought an influx of restless young soldiers on leave, or waiting to ship out. In Rainbow Richmond, her extensive history of LGBTQ Richmond published on OutHistory.org, Cindy Bray tells us that “…the gay male cruising scene that developed or became more visible in the 1940s and 1950s… Mark Kerkorian (a pseudonym) recalled the military personnel were ‘ready for anything’ if they hadn’t picked up a girl by 11 or 12 at night and that there were lots of places to take them like the basement of the hotel across Broad Street from the USO, or the men’s room in the hotel or an alley behind the Colonial Theater. ‘…there were nooks and crannies all over downtown.'” 

The nickname “the Block” was finally coined in the 1950s when the area bounded by Main, First, Franklin, and Foushee Streets earned a scandalous notoriety as a magnet for hustlers, prostitutes, and homosexual acts — the latter of which was the police’s top priority. Until 1993, Section 4-37 of Virginia’s ABC codes warned business owners that “a bar’s license may be suspended or revoked if the bar has become a meeting place and rendezvous for users of narcotics, drunks, homosexuals, prostitutes, pimps, panderers, gamblers or habitual law violators.” The threat proved more than theoretical. Renee’s and Rathkellers’ — two gay hotspots — were both shut down in 1969 after eyewitness testimony from an undercover ABC agent described “men wearing makeup, embracing and kissing in the café.” 

Despite being straight himself, Leo Koury realized gays would pay a premium to socialize in a bar beyond the reach of the long arm of the highly-prejudiced law. In order to establish a monopoly over Richmond’s gay bars, the “godfather of the gay community” bribed police, ordered a drive-by of a rival club, and instigated the murder of one of its bouncers, which later came to be known as the Dial Tone Murder after his most prominent club. Koury’s crimes led to his disgraceful downfall, revealing that the intense, state-led persecution had created a dangerous black market for gay spaces in the city. 

In this atmosphere, open-air gathering spots like the Block served a purpose beyond the ubiquitous cruising depicted in the salacious tales most vividly remembered today. The fact the Block was a purely public space meant that any and all could congregate there as they saw fit, free from police stings and mafia racketeering. Such off-the-grid sites became small oases of queerness in a world of strict conformity, thus allowing LGBTQ people of the day to form a fledgling sense of community in an era of suffocating discrimination. 

Photo by Sara Wheeler

The Sexual Revolution unleashed by the Baby Boomers brought new freedoms, triggered a more laissez-faire approach to homosexuals, and led to a permeation of queer spaces across the city. Fans of Scandals might attest that Shockoe Bottom, the neighborhood occupied by that bygone Richmond gay bar, became the epicenter of the city’s gay culture in the 80s. However, despite legendary performances on their stage by icons like Grace Jones, the heart of Richmond’s queer community seemed mainly to reside closer to the Fan. 

Whereas in the 1970s five or six gay-friendly bars flew under the radar in Carytown, the 1980s witnessed an explosion of LGBTQ venues in the area, so that by the end of that decade the number of gay nightlife choices reached over a dozen. Marschak believes “a gayborhood is not just a place where gay people live, it also has cultural connections and things to do.” Although Carytown was more of a cultural and nightlife grouping than a distinctly-identified gayborhood, Marschak said, “There were more displays of affection along Cary Street than anywhere else in the city, which is probably still true today. Carytown filled the need that people have for a place that’s identifiable — where you can go to see and be seen.” 

Babe’s may be the last remaining bar from that era of raucous rebellion, but new queer-friendly spaces have moved into the area. One is the Tottering Teacup, a community-minded bakery and tea house owned and operated by a non-binary person and featuring displays and menu items focused on the colors of various Pride flags. The continued role of Carytown as a center of LGBTQ culture in the city makes sense given the corridor’s proximity to the Fan, the West End, and VCU — all historic hubs of “eccentricity” in the city; however, before you label Carytown as Richmond’s gayborhood, Marschak would warn you: “Just because a city has a gayborhood doesn’t mean all gays live there.” 

Bill Harrison, Executive Director of Diversity Richmond, wholeheartedly agrees. In a recent interview, he recalled an illustrative anecdote: “A woman once asked me if the gays in Richmond all lived in the same neighborhood, and I said, ‘No we’re everywhere — just spread all over the place, and I like that.’ I like that we’re integrated into all neighborhoods of the city.” Indeed, when hunting after Richmond’s elusive gayborhood, I received a wide range of answers from the queer people I asked: Westover Hills, Bellevue, Church Hill, Downtown on Franklin Street, Forest Hill. Even Marschak, Richmond’s premier queer herstory expert, couldn’t pin down Richmond’s gayborhood for me: “LGBTQ people are all over the place here!” 

The increasing acceptance of queer people in recent years may even mean that Richmond’s gayest neighborhoods will become less so going forward. As the potency of homo- and transphobia gradually wanes, our community may begin moving into areas that would have been deemed unsafe for LGBTQ people a decade ago. One need only consider the growing number of gay couples buying homes in Northside or the East End (known as Church Hill North to gentrifiers) to realize the truth behind this trend. The irony of societal acceptance is that queer people may begin to act like straights always have, and move into those neighborhoods across Central Virginia where they feel most comfortable for socioeconomic, racial, and familial reasons. Could the decreasing threat of harassment from outside the community paradoxically mean the end of the gayborhood as we know it? 

Similar alarms have already been sounded for another pillar of queer culture: gay bars. Considering the modern gay liberation movement began in a bar (Stonewall), it’s understandable that LGBTQ people would be concerned about losing spaces that have often been at the heart of our community’s social support structures, political organizing, and search for love and partnership. There are a wide range of hypotheses behind this phenomenon: the rise of dating apps means people don’t have to go out anymore to meet someone; same-sex couples are getting married, having kids, and moving to the suburbs just like straight people do; bars no longer function as places of political organizing because current political challenges like trans discrimination don’t impact most of the community; LGBTQ people are more accepted now and just go to straight bars; many gay bars are not compatible with the #MeToo era and inhospitable to lesbians, trans people, and women. 

Those concerned about the disappearance of gay bars quote the recently compiled statistic that 12% of all gay bars closed between 2005 and 2011. But does that statistic prove queer nightlife is in crisis? No. The exact same study shows that 11.1% of non-gay bars closed over that timespan as well. Millenials and Gen Z kids drink less, and they have fewer sexual partners than previous generations. Gentrification is raising rents in lots of urban neighborhoods, and pushing bars, clubs, and (predominantly low-income) people out. 

Gayborhoods — like the gay bars they support — aren’t disappearing. Society as a whole is changing. The shift in American public opinion towards LGBTQ people, from a position of prejudice and persecution to an increasing attitude of empathy and understanding, is a transformation unlike anything seen before. By coming out en masse, the generations before mine did the heavy interpersonal, familial, and societal lifting required to unleash a sea change of tolerance and growing acceptance. It makes no sense that queer-friendly spaces would begin to decline when ever more of society is identifying as such. Whether we were in our teens or our fifties, all of us remember the weight lifted from our chests the first time we walked into a predominantly queer space. In a world of persistent discrimination and ignorance, our need for spaces in which we can be ourselves — free from the wider world’s judgement — remains unchanged. 

Whereas Richmond’s lack of a gayborhood may once have indicated the all-too-common prejudice that kept us hidden and underground, today the lack of one neighborhood where LGBTQ people feel they must cluster in order to live safely should be taken as a sign of the movement’s success. In today’s Richmond, every neighborhood where two or more queers are gathered is a gayborhood.

Top Photo by Sara Wheeler

Summertime And The Weather Is Fine (In The RVA)

Ash Griffith | July 2, 2019

Topics: Bowtie Cinema, Carsen Young, Orgasmic Rush Of Lust, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Stonewall Sports, Summer 2019 Pride Guide, The Tottering Teacup, Thirsty's Bar And Grill, You Can't Be Serious Open Mic

Our 2019 Summer Pride Guide, in collaboration with VA Pride, is out now! Here’s the first of our articles from that magazine, celebrating the many LGBTQ things to see and do in Richmond in the summer.

With Pride month comes rainbows, smiles, confidence, and the best part of all — summertime. For us Richmonders, we get the best luck of all with RVA Pride in September. Not only do we get to celebrate Pride twice, but we pretty much just block out the entire season — and we are so happy to do it. 

As I’m running around enjoying the sunshine and gorgeous weather in the River City we call home, I do have to ask myself: What do I do when I’ve exhausted my time at the river with a big box of Ukrop’s rainbow cookies? Here are four good options to keep us busy from sunrise to sunset in Richmond. 

You Can’t Be Serious Open Mic — Hosted by Carsen Young 

Sunday night is here, you’ve spent your day getting your chores done, prepping for the week, brunching it up, and now you need to unwind. Local Comedian Carsen Young is happy to have you covered (at least once a month). Down in Forest Hill at Thirsty’s Bar and Grill, Young has been hosting the open mic since January, even though he’s only been doing stand-up for around a year. Originally, he got his start doing improv at ComedySportz Richmond, where he still performs as well. 

The show came about when Thirsty’s owner saw Young do stand-up next door at Crossroads Coffee & Ice Cream, and told Young that he had been trying to host an open mic, only to have it fail. Naturally, Young’s “why not?” attitude made him say yes when Thirsty’s owner asked him to become the open mic’s new host. 

As a host, Young’s favorite part so far has been giving comics a chance to test out material and polish jokes they’ve been working on. 

“I like giving the other comics in the community a place to try out their material,” said Young. “The toughest thing about doing stand-up comedy is finding a place to do it. Open mics are pretty much your only place to do it unless you’re booked. And you’re not going to get booked somewhere unless someone has seen you at an open mic.” 

Even though the open mic itself isn’t LGBTQ-exclusive, having an LGBTQ host in a restaurant that is LGBTQ-run certainly helps add a sense of comfort for other comics in the community — folks who may want to give comedy a shot, but want to feel safe when they start out. 

“In Richmond, overall I will say that comedy is safe for LGBTQ people,” said Young. “I try to make sure that it is a safe, inclusive space for anybody. Thirsty’s is such an inclusive place that you know you’re in a safe spot.” 

With open mics prevalent all over the city of Richmond, you can throw a rock almost any night of the week and hit at least three or four. But to find one in such an inclusive spot — in a place that, sure, has drinks, but isn’t just another bar, is such an important thing. You Can’t Be Serious just might be the hidden gem in the Richmond comedy scene that we didn’t know we needed. 

You Can’t Be Serious starts at 8pm on the last Sunday of every month, with open mic sign-ups starting at 7:30pm and limited to five spots. Thirsty’s Bar and Grill is located in Forest Hill at 3516 Forest Hill Ave. 

Rocky Horror Picture Show with Orgasmic Rush of Lust at Bowtie Cinemas

What kind of a Pride Guide would this really be in a city with access to regular showings of the beloved Tim Curry classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, without even one mention of it? Obviously a bad one. 

Lucky for you, we here at GayRVA are all about that Rocky Horror life. Have you ever wanted to do the time warp (again) in public, surrounded by Magenta, Janet, Brad, and even Eddie himself, while Dr Frank N. Furter leads you on? Fabulous — same here! Lucky for us, we can have that very thing happen, right down the street.

Orgasmic Rush of Lust is the only Rocky Horror Picture Show shadow cast for Richmond. A shadow cast is what it sounds like — while the film plays on the big screen, the cast acts out the film on the stage in front of the screen. If you were expecting a quiet, relaxing viewing of a cult favorite film, then this is not the show — or the movie — for you. 

Orgasmic Rush of Lust can be seen on the first Friday and first Saturday of every month performing at the Bowtie Cinemas Theater in Scott’s Addition, just off the newly-named Arthur Ashe Boulevard. Some members of the cast perform multiple roles at a time, but always give it their all and encourage fan participation… something audiences are more than willing to provide. 

Richmonder Alan Vann was already a big fan of the live shows when he still lived down in the Hampton Roads area. When he heard that there was a Richmond-based show, he knew that he had to go — especially when he found out two of his friends had never been. 

“They are a great team,” said Vann. “Very enthusiastic, work amazingly well with the stage they are given. It’s smaller than the Naro’s [in Hampton Roads], but they make it feel like any big movie palace-type theater production.” 

Orgasmic Rush of Lust heavily encourages audience participation (as any good Rocky Horror show should), but asks that audiences abide by a few ground rules per their website. 

  • Don’t throw anything at the screen, or cast.
  • Don’t throw anything that will leave a sticky mess (Rice, Confetti, toothpaste. Cards, toilet paper, and toast are ok.)
  • Stay out of the aisles during the show.
  • Don’t bring alcohol into the theater. You can get  a drink in the lobby before the show, though.
  • Do the Time Warp.

Orgasmic Rush of Lust can be seen performing at the Bow Tie Cinemas Theater on the first Friday and Saturday of each month. They occasionally take the stage at other venues around town as well. More info is on their Facebook page, at RockyHorrorRVA. 

The Tottering Teacup

After a long day of cruising your super sweet bicycle through Carytown, doing some heavy thrifting at Diversity Thrift, and catching a movie at The Byrd Theatre, you need a break. Why not take a page from our British friends and kick back with some hot, comforting rooibos tea and a seasonally-flavored macaron? If only there was somewhere that you could do just that… 

The Tottering Teacup is a tea and sandwich cafe, which is a breath of the strongest chamomile in Richmond, where coffee isn’t just king — it’s Midas incarnate. Tottering Teacup offers over forty different varieties of tea to choose from, along with seasonal selections, baked goods, and even a delicious seasonal lemonade (which is an absolute must, even for this writer, who is adamantly against sugary drinks). 

With very, very inexpensive pricing, you can genuinely go through and try every flavor of tea if you ever wanted to. With free wifi and the option to have a large endless teapot (for $14, which is still very inexpensive), you can also stay from open to close and knock out most of your summer reading list. 

Something you’ll immediately notice upon entry is that the staff consists of the friendliest, kindest people in the entire city. Another thing that is hard to miss when you walk in is that the Tottering Teacup is filled wall to wall with Pride. Literally. 

Most of the decor in the shop represents Pride in some facet; whether it’s the traditional LGBTQ rainbow, the transgender flag, or even the bisexual flag, almost every section of the community is represented. The Tottering Teacup isn’t just a wholesome place to relax when it hits upwards of ninety-odd degrees in the middle of July. It’s also somewhere for members of the LGBTQ community to feel safe and protected — even if they’re not out to friends or family yet. The Tottering Teacup wants you to remember there is always a cup of tea brewing for you here. 

Another great thing that makes this little-tea-shop-that-could so important to our city is that they bake Pride-themed macarons every year, with proceeds going to Richmond LGBTQ youth advocacy organization, Side By Side. 

It may look like a small gesture, but it’s yet another important reason why the Tottering Teacup is valuable to our community. The Tottering Teacup is that friend in the city, taking a moment to remind you that you are safe, you are valued, and you are important. And also serving you a hot cup of your favorite tea and a macaron. What a perfect combination. 

The Tottering Teacup is in Carytown at 3222 W Cary St, and is open Tuesday through Sunday. For hours and further information, you can check their website at thetotteringteacup.com.

Stonewall Sports League 

After a beautiful week of walking around Byrd Park, catching a game at The Diamond, and discovering a new favorite tea at The Tottering Teacup, maybe you want to have fun in a different way… a more active way. Why not try getting involved with a sport or activity through the Stonewall Sports league? 

Stonewall Sports was originally founded in 2010; its Richmond chapter formed in the Fall of 2017. Stonewall Sports Richmond is still very new, but is already making strides in the community. As a nonprofit sports league for Richmond’s LGBTQ community, Stonewall raises funds for other nonprofit organizations in the area, while also providing a safe and inclusive place for members of the community to be active and have fun outside. 

Stonewall wants you to join in, regardless of your level of expertise. Whether you’re a career athlete or have the kicking skills of Charlie Brown, they just want you to come and have fun with your friends. A variety of sports are offered, including dodgeball, kickball,volleyball and more, and there is something for everyone’s interest and skill set. 

Leagues are broken up into six-to-eight-week seasons, including playoffs, which allow for plenty of opportunities to compete with different folks, and occasionally switch it up. Maybe you’re getting burnt out on volleyball? After the current season is over, you can learn if dodgeball is, in fact, your true calling. 

For more information on Stonewall Sports Richmond, and how to sign up or when to see a game, visit their website.

This summer, get out there and be entertained. Enjoy a macaron and a spot of tea, and get in a good round of kickball if you can. There is so much to do in this beautiful summer of Pride that you won’t even remember to binge-watch The Office for the twelth time on Netflix. That can wait until October. Pinky swear.

Picture This: Pride Night At The Diamond

Caley Sturgill | June 28, 2019

Topics: LGBTQ support, Pride Night at the Diamond, Richmond Flying Squirrels, Starbucks, Summer 2019 Pride Guide, The Diamond, va pride

Last night, GayRVA joined VA Pride and the Richmond Flying Squirrels for the first-ever Pride Night at the Diamond. Richmond rose to the occasion, too, packing the Diamond with delighted fans ready to cheer for the home team and show their Pride!

GayRVA was on the scene, handing out copies of our brand-new Summer Pride Guide, produced in collaboration with VA Pride. Fans were eager to show their support, lined up outside the stadium in a sea of colors and bright flags. Even Nutzy came dressed in his rainbow cape with striped socks up to his knees — and enough fans to book most of the arena took their seats gladly despite the sultry heat.

It was humbling to see so many fans from different backgrounds and ages, almost uniform in their smiles, and especially the young ones gleaming with excitement to stand with their parents and raise their flags. 

I went alongside a group of local Starbucks partners, whose company bought something close to 80 tickets to ensure all their employees could attend. They’ve got a great reputation for their LGBTQ-friendly workplaces, and it’s clear from spending time with them that they’ve got more than inclusivity — they’ve got large groups of staff from the LGBTQ community who stand beside each other as coworkers and, more importantly, as friends. Decked out in custom Pride shirts, they occupied a large section above the field for the occasion, and brought their enthusiasm as well. 

More companies like Capital One and a few others showed similar support by printing custom shirts for their teams to come in groups. Armed with a batch of fresh GayRVA Pride Guides, I set out to meet some of the other attendees — and was greeted with nothing but grins. 

Enjoy these images from the evening — truly one to remember. Happy Pride Night, Richmond!

Photos by Caley Sturgill

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