After a brief conversation with a former coworker of mine last week, I came to the conclusion that I’m not funny. He asked me a question about something I wrote for my last column, and whether the words I chose were supposed to be humorous. I wanted to tell him I had written it in to be funny, but that was a lie.
After a brief conversation with a former coworker of mine last week, I came to the conclusion that I’m not funny. He asked me a question about something I wrote for my last column, and whether the words I chose were supposed to be humorous. I wanted to tell him I had written it in to be funny, but that was a lie. He told me he thought it was hilarious. Then I asked him if he was amused by anything else in the column. He said he couldn’t find an iota of humor anywhere else in it.
Obviously, he was joking. But I had a realization: I’m not trying to be funny, ever. And now I want to be funny. Studies say people like funny people more. Therefore, I realized, most people probably don’t like me. And really, maybe the problem is that I hate myself. People hate people who hate themselves–that’s probably why people hate me. I owe all this self-doubt to my coworker (thanks, Ian). He got me thinking about why I’m not funny. Maybe it’s because I don’t get comedy the same way most do. I laugh at movies and stand-up comedians, and I understand the situations and deliveries that make comedy funny, but I can’t produce anything funny myself. People find people who are self-loathing funny, right? So what am I doing wrong? Anyway, this got me thinking about how I may be able to turn my social life around.
I began to do some investigating. I wanted to learn how to make people laugh. A sincere “LOL” would do. I can accomplish that, right? Well, maybe. I’m already having doubts. Is that good or bad? I’m not sure. Following these logical steps, I studied what funny people say and do by watching stand-up comedy. I can now hopefully use their jokes in conversation to make people think I am funny. This all may come off as self-indulgent but really this experiment, and this blog, are for you people. In a way, you could consider me an altruist. You probably should, too. Here are five stand-up shows you should be watching on Netflix if, like me, you need to learn how to be funny. Or, you know, if you just want a good laugh.
Zach Galifianakis: Live at the Purple Onion
Other than sporting a last name I had to look up three times to spell correctly, Zach is funny in an absurd, deadpan kind of way. His standup is not much of a departure from any of his famous lead roles in films, or if you have seen his Funny Or Die interview series, Between Two Ferns, you know what you’re getting into. The twist is that he plays the piano and drinks heavily during his sets. He is unorthodox, witty, and very fluid with his jokes (the music probably helps with the fluidity). He does a bit where he pretends to be weirdly juxtaposed characters, such as a baby with a beard. He plays out small skits with these characters. As ridiculous as this sounds, these bits are hilarious. He also incorporates the piano into his humor by striking certain notes and chords at appropriate situations, accentuating modes of humor that may not be there without a sound cue.
Bill Burr : Let it Go
There comes a time in most peoples lives where their neuroses and hatred of everything start to diverge into two separate states of mind. When this happens, you become more of a human being, which is a magnificent development. You can be neurotic, or full of hate, but not both simultaneously. When you reach this point, you know you’ll be okay. However, Bill Burr has not yet hit this point in his life–and that is why I love his comedy. He divulges the terrible things we think about each other all the time, but are too ashamed to say. He has no shame. And it’s brilliant. His ability to deconstruct modern society tickles me in the best of ways. Let it Go, and all other of his standup specials, are a play on the darker thoughts of a madman whose logical thought processes seem completely sane at first. He starts off this show by talking about the obesity problem in America. He mentions a woman eating McMuffins (plural) who wiped her face with a bag after finishing her feast. Some other topics include Oprah, stay-at-home moms’ problems, the typical “face” of old age, and more.
Bobcat Goldthwait : You Don’t Look the Same Either
The disposition of this morbid and hilarious man is one that comforts me. Most people probably remember his strange, squeaky voice, which first brought him to fame through his early standup comedy and his role in the Police Academy movies. I first saw Bobcat on legendary cartoon show Space Ghost Coast To Coast, which transformed a 1960s Hanna-Barbera Saturday morning cartoon into an absurdist parody talk show series intended for adults. Bobcat Goldthwait was a frequent guest on the show, which was incredible, and became the original cornerstone of Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim–but I digress. Bobcat went on to be a successful writer/director with the wonderful dark comedy World’s Greatest Dad, starring Robin Williams. Now, he is on the same journey into the self loathing as I am, all the while ruminating on the memories that led him to his life today. He tells interesting, darkly humorous stories about his past, covering such topics as divorce, presidential racism, going broke, and accidentally stealing his neighbor’s cat.
George Carlin : It’s Bad for Ya
The master of social and political commentary, George Carlin, is one of the best comedians of all time. His opinions are hilarious, informed, and for the most part hit the nail on the head. He just always has something to fucking say, you know? He’s like a coworker that pays attention to your all of your conversations, nitpicking everything you bring up, just to say, “Actually, it’s really like this…” You can’t actually hate the guy, there’s something endearing about him, but he can become annoying. I think that’s where most people draw the line between like and dislike with Carlin. I think he’s great, and has a strong voice and flawless logic, but conservatives don’t feel the same way. In this standup special, George ruminates on how great it is to be, and I quote, “an old fuck.” In his final filmed performance, he urges Americans to just say no to BS, while serving up sharp-witted takes on society’s ridiculous obsessions, fallout from the self-esteem movement, and spoiled kids.
Louis C.K. : Live at the Beacon Theatre
One of the best and brightest comedians we have today. Louis CK has all sex appeal of a forty year old pervert–but he is a true comic genius. You hear the term thrown around a lot, and for the most part it is used improperly. I hate so many comedians. For one, I fucking hate Demetri Martin. Demetri Martin is like if The Big Bang Theory were a musical and the cast were constantly masturbating. His comedy consists entirely of him pointing out obvious things in the world. Anyone with a high school diploma should be able to think beyond the simple logic Martin uses as a tool for comedy. Anyway, Louis C.K.’s Live at the Beacon Theatre is just remarkably witty and hilarious. He treads over familiar themes, but the direction he takes them in is what made this fresh. He speaks of fatherhood, his unrelenting hate for a six year old in his daughter’s class, his success as a comedian allowing him to fly first class on an airplane, and sexual perversion. He’s not afraid to say what he feels he has to say, regardless of whether it might offend someone.
In conclusion, I thought it might be nice to share what I have learned watching these depraved individuals attempt to be amusing through condescension and hatred. I’ve got to be honest–other than the humorous potential of being able to play piano, I haven’t learned anything. Really, I’m pretty stubborn. And I hate a lot of things. However, that may ultimately be the key to being funny. So maybe I did learn something after all.
