In early September 2010, Richmond lost one of its brightest creative sparks. Ross Harman—musician, visual artist, and one half of the beloved indie-pop duo The Gaskets—took his own life after a long and private struggle. For those who knew him, Ross was more than his talent. He was a friend with a sharp mind, a generous heart, and a complicated soul. In the days that followed, those closest to him—bandmate Teddy Blanks and longtime manager Nate “Igor” Smith among them—began the work of honoring Ross not only in memory, but in music. This is a story about grief, friendship, and the quiet brilliance Ross left behind.
From a Friend
On Tuesday, I found out my friend Ross had died. His inner battles finally caught up with him.
He was complicated—always had layers—but whenever I saw him, he met me with a warm smile. We’d talk about whatever he was working on, or whatever idea was bouncing around in his head. I kept telling him we’d meet up for coffee someday. I meant it.
Now it’s too late for that. But part of me hopes he’d be okay with how things were left. There was so much he didn’t get to do. Maybe—just maybe—he’ll have that coffee waiting for me when I see him again. Maybe I’ll get to tell him he was kind of an asshole for leaving without saying goodbye.
Maybes. I don’t know what else to say. I just feel confused, and heavy.
Goodbye, Ross. You’ll be missed.
—Anthony
A Note from Nate “Igor” Smith
On Monday, September 6th, Ross Harman—formerly of the band The Gaskets—took his own life. He will be missed dearly by so many people.
In the days since, Ross’ bandmate Teddy Blanks and I have been talking about how to honor his memory. The best way we know how is through his music.
Over the past few years, Ross had been quietly recording solo work under the name Ballpoint Pens. Aside from a Myspace page and a few burned CDs he handed out to friends, most of it was never heard publicly. A while back, Teddy compiled some of Ross’ tracks into an album called Calcutta, which we posted on The Gaskets’ website. After Ross passed, Teddy gathered more unreleased material to create a second album, Symphony.
Ross’ solo music is different from what fans might remember from The Gaskets. It’s lo-fi, recorded at home using GarageBand, but there’s a raw beauty to it. Some of these songs made me cry even before Ross’ death. They reflect the pain, anger, and depth he was carrying—and they do it in a way that feels heartbreakingly honest.
As much as I loved The Gaskets, Ross’ solo work speaks to me in a more personal way. I want the world to hear what, until now, only his friends have.
It would mean a great deal to Teddy, Ross’ family, and myself if you could share some of his music. Teddy has redesigned The Gaskets’ website with free downloads of nearly everything Ross ever recorded. There’s a lot to explore, but if you’re going to start anywhere, we recommend Nine Times Out of Ten. It’s Ross’ favorite. It’s Teddy’s favorite. It’s mine too. The lyrics speak to so much—his relationships, his fears, and his long struggle with addiction.
▶️ Download “Nine Times Out of Ten”
http://www.drivenbyboredom.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/02-Nine-Times-Out-of-Ten.mp3
🎵 Download the Ballpoint Pens Albums
Calcutta (October 2007): http://thegaskets.com/assets/music/ballpoint-pens-calcutta.zip
Symphony (September 2010): http://thegaskets.com/assets/music/ballpoint-pens-symphony.zip
Each album includes artwork designed by Teddy Blanks.
Additional Links and Tributes
- Nate’s full eulogy for Ross
- Ross’ animated video for “Left Hand”
- “Never Let You Go” – the only Ballpoint Pens video
- One of the last photos Nate took of Ross
- A tribute drawing by friend Oura
We loved Ross so much. We still do. His music meant something, and now, maybe, it can mean something to others too. Please help us share it.
—Nate “Igor” Smith
Gaskets Manager, 2003–2008
