So this week’s batch of the best of RVA Missed Connections is a bit of a long read, but well worth it. We have the “dreamboat” from Fallout, a pink Fannie Pack flirtation at Black Hand Coffee, a desire for dreads, and a guy giving girls “advice” on what to post on a dating app, with a glorious clapback from a woman who wasn’t haven’t any of it and thought she’d give a little advice of her own. Check all that out and more below.
Aaron, thank you – w4m (Richmond va)
We have had many dates, but life kept ruining things. We had a beautiful moment at a party and you said things I had never heard before, especially from a cute nerd like you. You took me to Hollywood cemetery for the first time. I told you the white streaks in your black hair looked like shooting stars. I’m not elegant or pretty, but when we held each other it felt organic and right. It made me feel like a real person again when you asked if I was nervous. You probably have my number, but I lost my phone.
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Blonde tattooed Fallout Guy “Dreamboat” – w4m (richmond)
You’re still good looking but I liked you so much better with long black hair.
You’re also so calm now, What happened to all of the energy you used to have?
Stop working out and put some weight back on while your at it.
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Your husband called you while we were fucking in my office – m4w
First off, I really don’t care that you were married, but the problem is, you told me you were single. Again, I don’t care, but I wish you would’ve said something. You want to be married and cheat? That’s fine, but at least let me know ahead of time.
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Tall, Short Dark Hair, Hypnotic Blue Eyes – m4w (Lakeside)
I see you at the bar on Fridays or Saturdays, you are tall with shorter brunnete hair and blue eyes. We exchange glances, maybe a polite hi or how are you while waiting at the bar to get a drink but you are always with your group of people and I am with mine.
I doubt you read these but if you do I just wanted to tell you that you are gorgeous and have the most beautiful, seductive and hypnotic blue eyes I have ever seen. But more then that, the air of confidence that you project is captivating and alluring.
I would love to talk with you and get to know you. If you do read this either send me a message or give me a sign the next time we are at the bar.
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Lynard Skynyrd concert – m4w (Innsbrook)
I saw you at the concert and we made eye contact and smiled at each other. I was with a group of people and you were with another woman. We were standing on the pavement when we saw each other and you were wearing black Capri like pants and a pink and white and black printed top. I should’ve come over to you. I hope you see this and reply. Can you tell me what I look like or shirt I had on?
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LOVE YOUR DREADS…….. – m4m (Carytown 7-11)
this is REALLY a long shot, but……Saturday afternoon. i am pretty sure there was interest on your part…..I was in a car parked beside you and i commented on your dreads. you said you were headed home with groceries. we kept exchanging glances. you are slim/med build, great smile, black frame? glasses, clean crisp white tee. a well maintained mass of dreads, most to your waist, several were over your butt….you drove an older model silver grey jeep cherokee (or similar) just let me know. you won’t have any problem making it obvious that you are the one…..damn, i am a sucker (pun intended) for dreads and have never had the chance……SO, IF YOU ARE HIM, THINK YOU KNOW HIM, OR YOURSELF HAVE A HEAD OF WELL CARED FOR DREADS OR NATURAL BRAIDS…….I WOULD LOVE TO CHAT. BTW, i am mature, white father type.
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Met at Oktoberfest – mw4mw
We were a couple that met you at Oktoberfest. We both regret not getting your numbers. We were white, he bald, she redhead. What type of animal was on your female half new tattoo?
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Pink fanny pack – Gunmetal civic – Black Hand Coffee – m4w (Richmond)
Today, probably around noon or one, you pulled up and got a drink. You were adorable & sexy at the same time. You have black, short hair, pretty sure I saw a nose ring(I tried not to stare, tried*), short brown dress, and brown shoes. When you came out you smoked a cig, went to the market across the street and left. I feel like the staring was mutual, I was with a female friend, not my girlfriend though.
Could have been my imagination but I feel like you wanted to join us. I really hope you see this as I would love to grab coffee and a smoke with you….
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You were driving me crazy… – m4w (Downtown)
You served our group at Greenleaf’s last night. I had trouble taking my eyes off of you. Those gorgeous brown eyes are so captivating, but when you turned around and I saw that low plunging back and realized you were totally unfettered under that pretty dress? I don’t think I sank another shot. The beautiful smile, amazing legs, wow. I would love to talk…
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You’re On Here And a Dating App? – m4w
Dont’s with photos for women on dating apps. I am sick of seeing certain photos from women on dating apps and thought I’d help some of you clueless women out!
Mistakes women make with photos on apps… Yoga: Handstands and yoga poses. It screams you’re common. You may not know this because you can’t see the female profiles but so many women are doing this. It’s annoying. Great…you can stand on your hands like a 12-year-old and you’re kooky over yoga.
Wine obsession: 1 mention or 1 photo showing you like wine is fine but if you’re holding wine in every photo or going on and on about your love for wine and wineries, the alcoholic red flags go up.
Boats: This may be unfair but nothing says high maintenance like a chic who is on a boat, holding a glass of wine and posing like an aristocrat. Most guys don’t have enough money for your weekends and don’t want to feel like they have to buy a boat to keep you happy.
That you?: Make sure it’s not you with someone else in your 1st photo. Trying to figure out who you are is annoying.
Pets: Cool, you love your cat and dog but every photo? No guy cares about your cat or dog. You’re not there for them. A mention that you love animals is enough.
Old photos: The truth will eventually come out if you meet someone. That photo when you were 20 pounds lighter and 10 years younger is what we call a lie. Plus the big hair gives it away.
No body shot: If you’re heavy, don’t lie by omission by uploading just head shots. It’s just as bad as old photos of when you were lighter. It’s assumed your big but it’s also assumed you’re insecure about it.
Glamour shots: Love the modeling pics but you don’t look like that in real life. You know you don’t. That too…is a lie!
Sports clothing: If you’re truly a sports fan, then yeah, show it! If you’re just doing it to impress a guy, do you know what that’s called? Yep…a lie! And it screams desperate.
Scenery: Really? A picture of a lake is just weird. Save those photos for photography class. It’s pointless.
Inspirational or relationship memes: “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you can’t have me at my best” UGH! GET OVER YOURSELF! That makes guys nauseous. In other words…you’re a pain in the ass!
Political statements: Groovy Bernie Sanders shirt but it’s too much. Especially if you’re over 30. Save that for the angry college girls that are ready to protest.
Duck face: Why are women still doing this? It’s very 2014. And you look like a duck. Not sexy.
Tats. Everywhere there’s tats: Most people have them and they’re socially acceptable BUT that doesn’t mean you have to pose to show them off in every photo. We get it. You have tats. You’re so cutting edge!
Japanese Animation: Why not just come out and say I’m an introvert and you’ll never get me out of the house for the weekend unless there’s a comic-con happening?
Art of wolves: God! You are so old and boring. Got a dream catcher above your bed too?
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You are on here AND a dating app.? – w4m (Richmond) (Editor’s note: A response to the above piece)
I’m here in response to this male’s perspective on what not to put on your dating app. He went into helpful detail as to what women put on dating apps that turn men off. Well here is my response.
-pics of your “team” I.e. Sports team. Boys pissing on cowboys helmets etc. ok you are a sports head, good to know. Now to avoid becoming a sports widow
-pics of your kids- yup so we will be second to the kids, good to know. Also, why put them on social media like that seems a little on the not making a good decision list.
-pics of your ex cropped out. Thats lovely. You couldn’t find a pic of you that you had to crop out the ex? Lame
– you and a bottle of ______________. Fill in alcohol of choice, usually Hennessy. Nice, if you want to get to know a bonified alcoholic.
-a pic of you in your car., pics
Of your house car or boat. yawn
– pics of your food, BBQ grill pics , pics of your work. Not interested
– pics of you at gym. That’s fine if you want a gym rat too. Not good if you like tig ol bitties on a woman with some cushion for the pushing.
– pics of just your eyeball, lips, head, pics at a long distance. Old pics of you back in the day. Swipe left
-god fearing men-nope
-men who ask: where are all the real women blah blah blah. So you hate women . Greeeeaaattt.
Ok men so none of these are sexy or appropriate or should be on a profile. Fix this And Hope I could be of assistance.
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*Top image credit: Black Hand Coffee Company
