Nixed Ideas for a Review of Gasmask Terrör’s Black Sun/Fake Gold (Solar Funeral)
1. Lengthy screed, 1200-1500 words. Reference T.S. Eliot, Yeats’s “Second Coming,” Guernica, various other testaments to sustained, frantic dread.
-Too pretentious. BS/FG is a goddamn punk record after all, if it takes longer to read the review than it does to listen to the record, it’s probably too wordy.
2. Shorter approach–use phrases like “raging crust attack,” “totally kicks ass,” “if you call yourself punk and don’t like this, you should just hang it up.”
-Might as well write for Razorcake* if I’m going to approach it that way.
3. Haiku format.
-What sort of jackass would do tha…
4. Express regret I didn’t receive the album in time to include it in my top 10 for 2010.
-Possess a finite patience for regret, not going to waste any on this.
5. Discussion of Gasmask Terrör and the bands with whom they share an aesthetic–Herätys and Totalitär for example. Speculate on umlaut-bedecked band names.
-Ehhhhhh…. No. Or rather, Nö.
6. Get some more coffee, put my clothes in the dryer, and start on my taxes.
-Sounds reasonable.
Nixed Ideas for a Review of Gasmask Terrör’s Black Sun/Fake Gold (Solar Funeral)
1. Lengthy screed, 1200-1500 words. Reference T.S. Eliot, Yeats’s “Second Coming,” Guernica, various other testaments to sustained, frantic dread.
-Too pretentious. BS/FG is a goddamn punk record after all, if it takes longer to read the review than it does to listen to the record, it’s probably too wordy.
2. Shorter approach–use phrases like “raging crust attack,” “totally kicks ass,” “if you call yourself punk and don’t like this, you should just hang it up.”
-Might as well write for Razorcake* if I’m going to approach it that way.
3. Haiku format.
-What sort of jackass would do tha…
4. Express regret I didn’t receive the album in time to include it in my top 10 for 2010.
-Possess a finite patience for regret, not going to waste any on this.
5. Discussion of Gasmask Terrör and the bands with whom they share an aesthetic–Herätys and Totalitär for example. Speculate on umlaut-bedecked band names.
-Ehhhhhh…. No. Or rather, Nö.
6. Get some more coffee, put my clothes in the dryer, and start on my taxes.
-Sounds reasonable.
*– Not sure if it warrants a disclaimer, but one of the only Razorcake writers worth his salt also contributes to this fine periodical as well. Any criticism of the House That Lame Pop-Punk Built shouldn’t be construed as a slight to his abilities.
