I was gonna kill my husband in a cab in Peru, but “Islands in the Stream” came on the radio, and we stopped arguing and started singing. She could do that to you. You could totally be feeling some type of way, but if you put some Dolly Parton on, well, then you got a lil more smile.
I did not kill my husband. I just divorced him, but whenever I think of that song, I think of how it washed away the anger and totally changed our vibe.
When Dolly passed, it hit me hard. The nine key stopped working on my keyboard all of a sudden, so I went to Staples for some dust spray. My old roommate from New York texted me, “Dolly is dead.”
I’d just walked out of the store and sat down on the curb and desperately googled: fake news, please more fake news.Then I had to call my mom. Dolly was generational for me. I sat there on the curb crying. It felt like I had lost a friend, not a close friend, but a friend.
I was born in Tennessee. My parents are from Memphis. Country life was life. I grew up in NOVA, but whenever we went to visit the family, it was country life. Biscuits and gravy and people “fixin’ to go” somewhere. Even after moving to New York for 20-plus years, the country life stays. And the music and the Southern hospitality stays.
Dolly was like family, but not, and yet she was. I wept, I mean I wept.
Bless my heart.
She was a feminist icon, a champion of children’s literacy, an LGBTQ+ supporter all her damn life. She took some of the proceeds from Whitney Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You” and put that into an all-Black neighborhood in Nashville and deemed it “The House the Whitney Built.”
Dolly’s ghost came for the nine key on my laptop that day, and I have never had to type 9 to 5 more in my life.
So then I talked to people, cause that is what you do when working through grief. I talked to my mom, my friend’s 12-year-old, a Dolly queen, bartenders and cab drivers.
This is my favorite version of “I Will Always Love You.” It is a real trip. Watch it all the way through.
First I talked to Crystal Whitley, a therapist in RVA who was throwing a renegade parade for Dolly, so clearly I needed to talk to her.
“When I think about Dolly Parton, I think about some of those early happy memories, spending time with my grandma. She took me to Dollywood when I was in elementary school, and we went to the Grand Ole Opry together. Those memories are woven into my childhood.
“Dolly’s music stayed with me. I don’t know if you ever listened to the Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton Christmas album called Once Upon a Christmas, but it was a part of my childhood, big time. We always listen to it, and it brings back a lot of memories for me. My daughter loves it, too, you know, and she’s 20 years old. You just can’t help but love it. It’s just that kind of energy. It’s this thread that runs from my grandmother, to my mother, through me, and into the next generation.
“Dolly was just so unapologetically herself. She recognized that maybe in some people’s eyes, she was tacky or gaudy or too much, but she never apologized for it. She embraced it.
“There is an old interview where Barbara Walters, the prude that she was, tried to make Dolly the butt of the joke. Dolly ended up just handling it with such class, grace and dignity.
“When I found out that she passed away, funny enough, my daughter was the one that texted me. She was such a sweet, tenderhearted person. I believe that’s why so many people love her. It doesn’t matter what your politics are. It doesn’t matter what your gender or your sexuality is. She accepted people. She made people feel like they belonged. As a Southern woman, she embraced things that were not typically things that Southerners embrace.”
“Her book foundation was a tribute to her father, who was illiterate. I can relate to that too. My dad dropped out of school in sixth grade, so I can appreciate her humble beginnings. I feel like she’s so relatable in that way, and just being an advocate for the LGBTQIA population and never being, you know, she was Southern, but she wasn’t judgmental. She wasn’t snobbish.
“I remember seeing 9 to 5, and that was so empowering. I was a kid when it came out, but I was smart enough to realize what it was about. You know, I feel empowered watching this. I want to be like Dolly. I want to be like these women and take my power back in the workforce, not let a man determine whether or not I can be successful, have a career, how I want to dress, how I’m gonna style my hair, wear my makeup or nails.
“And I’m not gonna let a man have that much power and influence over me. I’m gonna show him who’s boss. That’s what that movie said to me. She was just a feminist icon, whether she even realized it or not. She was definitely ahead of her time.
“So I thought to myself, you know what? Richmond deserves a Dolly parade. I’ve had a lot of fun times at Babes, and she was an ally. I thought this would be a good place. Dolly would like this.
“I really just want to spread some joy, honestly. With all the crazy stuff that we have going on right now in the world, there’s a lot of heaviness, a lot of sadness and stress. People are anxious. Every day there’s something to be angry or frightened about. I thought, what if for two hours, we just did something joyful? Put on a wig, wear some rhinestones, tease up your hair.
“I bought a megaphone, and I bought a big old speaker that I’m going to put in one of my little teacher carts. If anybody deserves a parade, it’s Dolly, right? And part of me feels like, you know, I was talking about my grandmother, there’s a piece of me that is doing it for her, too.”
The parade was a huge success. There were probably about 100 people donned in their best Dolly. People were giving out beaded WWDD bracelets and Dolly stickers, and Anthony Quintana from Chori Panther was giving out free hot dogs to anyone dressed as Dolly.
I stopped parading to chat with him a bit and grab a very delicious dog.
“I really appreciate them putting together a parade for our queen, Dolly Parton, and I just think it’s a really cool, fun community event to kind of come out and support, you know? And that’s what I love to do. I love to come out, feed people, and have a good time.
“Dolly was just a symbol of giving back. She was one of our ultimate entertainers, and she really, just truly in her heart, loved people and wanted to spread that love. I think we should all embody that. You can find us out at Monroe Park for lunch and out on the weekends around the city.”
I ended up losing the parade at that point because I was hot dog invested, but met back up with Crystal at Babes for some Dolly karaoke.
Photos by Danni Flakes
“I’m honestly still kind of blown away by how much support we got for our very first Dolly Parade. I really didn’t know what to expect, and seeing everyone come out dressed up and having fun was just so freaking cool. And then to have the Richmond Times-Dispatch, Style Weekly, RVA Mag, Richmond Magazine, and The Commonwealth Times all come out to take pictures, talk to us, and cover this crazy little thing we put together?! So cool.
“Now I’m already thinking about how much bigger we can make it next year. I would LOVE for this to become one of those quirky annual Richmond traditions that people look forward to every year, but also have it actually do some good. My hope is that eventually we can raise some real money for Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library and help get books into the hands of kids.
“So next year it will be on September 25, 2027! Details are definitely TBD, but I’m going to start working on permits with the city and see if we can actually close the street and have a proper parade with FLOATS. I’d love to find some Carytown merchants and other local businesses willing to sponsor floats, and maybe we’ll have Dolly Parade T-shirts with proceeds going to the Imagination Library.
“This was only year one, so who knows what this thing could turn into. Yay Richmond. Seriously. I love all the quirky, weird, creative stuff that happens in this city. Our city rules.”
Photos by Danni Flakes
I knew I had to visit the RVA branch of Dolly’s Imagination Library, which is located in the office of the children’s literacy nonprofit Read to Them. On the way there, my driver got into some feels about the Country Queen.
“She made a name for herself coming from nothing. The way she did it, her voice, her family support. She meant a lot to a lot of people in this country. The way she helped the kids, the people that she socialized with. She wasn’t an uppity type star. Just kept everything real. And I had a lot of respect for her. I like her music and movies, of course, but to me, that was a woman’s woman.”
I got to chat with Kimberly Fehrs, who runs the Imagination Library, about Dolly’s impact and her foundation.
“I grew up knowing her as a singer, songwriter, and movie star. I didn’t know about her literacy program until about four years ago, when our organization was talking about bringing it to this area and getting free books in the hands of kids. Kids that have never owned a book before, where they live in a book desert or it’s not easy to get to the library, that sort of thing. It’s just so huge because it’s an easy invitation for early literacy.
“When this came along, I was like, are you kidding me? To have a passion, and then put it into this great mission that she started in her little area, expanded to the whole state of Tennessee, and now throughout the U.S. and four other countries. I mean, it’s only Dolly that could do something this amazing.
“Since her passing, there have been over a thousand new registrations in Central Virginia, which is incredible. And in Virginia itself, there have been about 4,000. Which is so lovely because we depend on that to be able to run the program. We can keep continuing sending books.
“Honestly, it’s a dream come true for me. It combines many loves for me. It’s just been, gosh, just a blessing to be able to give back in this way and to be part of something that’s so important. I’m so thankful for Dolly. I’m always grateful for her music, but even more so for this program and her heart for literacy.”
After that, it was off to the races. Colonial Downs Race Track was hosting a Dolly Day. They gave seat upgrades in exchange for children’s books. I have never been to a horsey race, so that was awesome. At one point, a butterfly flew across the field, and as any Dolly fan knows, that was her symbol, a Dolly blessing.
I spoke with Bella Hodge, their marketing manager.
“We decided to do Dolly Day because we wanted to honor her, and we did a book drive for the Children’s Museum of Richmond. We collected 284 books that day. I think she inspires a lot of people, especially women, to be independent. She’s an American icon, and her music really resonates for a lot of people.”
Dana St. James, photos by Danni Flakes
What is an investigation of what Dolly means to people without speaking to some Queens? One of Richmond’s most iconic Dolly impersonators, Dana St. James, was performing at Godfrey’s, so that was next on the list. I got to speak with Dana before her performance.
“I’m from Raleigh, North Carolina, but I’ve worked here for almost 25 years. I come here once a month. It’s like family here.
“I had a good friend named Coti Collins who did female impersonations. She actually toured with Reba and was Reba’s double in the ’90s. Reba did an illusion where she did ‘Fancy’, and she came in a fur coat and then came out in the red dress. They were kind of a distraction. And then Reba came out in the dress. It was like a magic trick. He traveled with her tour.
“And unfortunately, my friend passed away from cancer several years ago. When she first got sick, she encouraged me to start delving into character work. And she talked about Dolly. Since she did it, I never really did it.
“I had gone through some health issues and dealt with some alcoholism and a couple of demons myself. It was a good time for me to focus my attention on something else. Dolly has such a great energy about her and a great spirit, and it just made me feel like it was like a renewal. Reinvent myself.
“Before I started doing her, I’d watch videos and interviews and movies. I don’t necessarily look just like her, but I try to get all the details in. The hair and the gloves, the jewelry, the costume. I try to do actual replicas of her costumes. It’s all to pay homage to her.
“Dolly is and was an icon. She’s just a great person with a great spirit. If you’re gonna impersonate somebody and pay tribute to someone, why not Dolly? It’s a positive experience. And I make money doing that. I mean, I do this for a living. You know, it costs a lot to look this cheap. Good drag ain’t cheap. Bad drag ain’t cheap.
“Obviously, people love ‘9 to 5’ and ‘Jolene’, and I love those songs, too. But I like some of the more obscure stuff that she did a little later that I think had meaning, and she didn’t push the meaning on people.
“I like ‘Better Get to Livin’’ [side note from me: this music video features Amy Sedaris, and the intro is amazing] and ‘Together You and I’. It’s community and pulling people up by the bootstraps and trying to give back.”
“I was talking to a friend, and I saw the runner at the bottom of CNN saying that Dolly Parton died at 80. And I literally was like, I gotta go, and hung up. Couldn’t really even speak. I was alone at home with just my dogs, and my phone started blowing up. I just couldn’t speak to anybody for a while. Just trying to process it.
“She set up all this stuff to go on after she passed away. She made sure that her musical went on, that all of her charities went on, that Dollywood would stay around so those families had places to work, and she was just thinking about other people. When they knew that she was going to die, she said, try whatever experimental stuff you can on me so it could help somebody else in the future. She was 80, and she lived a huge, amazing, fruitful life, but in all our minds she was still young.”
Then I spoke with the bartender who goes by Hot Toddy, Slut Bitch or Daddy.
“She’s the antithesis of our presidency today. She’s the shining light. She’s what Christianity should have been and has been defaced by these Christian nationalists.
“I was born and raised in Southwest Virginia, in Pulaski County. So I came here for college in ’88 and never wanted to leave. I have moved across the country a few times, but Richmond always calls me back. It’s the boomerang effect. You will always get drawn back.
“My stepfather was a huge country music fan. So Hank Williams Jr. and Dolly Parton was what I grew up with. And as a gay man, I fell even more in love with her and her support for the gay community. She said in multiple interviews that she didn’t care if you were gay, straight, whatever. Everybody should have a chance to live a life of love. And that message has always rung true for me and for this community.
“It’s not just the vocal ability. We’ve had great singers in our lifetimes, but she just gave so much. The books, the money. She fronted Buffy the Vampire Slayer. One of the best shows of all time. And I know that she came from such a humble beginning, and I guess that’s kind of something we shared.”
Celestia Cox, photos by Danni Flakes
I caught a moment with the host of the show, Celestia Cox.
“My mom was actually named after Dolly. Her name is Rebecca, and that is Dolly’s middle name. So all of my life, Dolly has always been at the forefront of my life, so to speak. She has always been like a pillar in my family.
“I feel like she reminded people that there doesn’t always have to be a left side and a right side or a top and a bottom. [laughs] We’re all human. It’s just loving people for who they are and who they is, is what I always say.
“I would say probably one of my favorite Dolly songs was, during the pandemic, ‘You Better Get to Living’. One of the lyrics in that song is that the day that you’re born, you start to die. That really resonated with me. You better get to living right now because tomorrow is not promised. Whatever happened yesterday doesn’t matter. You gotta do what you’re doing right now and then just keep on ticking and do the next thing. She was just a gem, a diamond in a rhinestone world for real.”
Kevonte and crew, photos by Danni Flakes
Photos by Danni Flakes
The group seated behind us for the drag show were having a fucking blast, so I wanted to get a quote from the b-day boy, Kevonte.
“It’s my birthday. I’m turning 22, so I came to Godfrey’s. We had such a joyous time. I love Dolly Parton. She definitely had African Americans on priority. She wanted them to be safe. She wanted them to be prioritized. She stood out for us. She stood up for us. And we’re gonna miss her so much.
“I saw her first through Hannah Montana. And I heard her songs, and then I heard her on the Beyoncé song ‘Tyrant’.”
There was a lot of talk about how Dolly was generational, so I figured I would call some older and younger fans. I hit up my mom, I mean, she was the first one I called, and one of my lifetime bestie’s sons.
My parents grew up in Memphis and raised me and my sisters in NOVA, and now they live in VA in the Smoky Mountains, where they love some Dolly. The dollar store by their house has an entire Dolly section.
“I found out about Dolly when I was a kid watching her early TV shows, Hee Haw and Porter Wagoner. I watched it with your Nana and my grandmother, Big Mama, and Aunt Robert [this is my fav aunt who is over 90 years old and still goes kayaking and axe throwing] and everybody. They all loved Dolly.
“And I heard something she said to Ellen DeGeneres today that was really funny. Ellen said, ‘I hear that you sleep in your makeup. Is that true?’ And Dolly said, ‘Well, yeah, sometimes. Mainly when I’m out of town. In LA and in New York, you never know when there’s going to be a fire in a high-rise building or an earthquake in LA. I’m always prepared. I just sleep in my makeup, and I throw my wig up on a lamp post. And then I’m ready for any emergency because God forbid I’d have to run out of the hotel without any makeup on. I wouldn’t want to look like hammered snot.’
“And Ellen’s face dropped all the way down to her knees when she said ‘hammered snot.’ Everybody just fell out laughing.
“She also used to say, you can’t have a rainbow without a storm. I used to think about that all the time. You know, you can’t make it through life unless there’s some rocky roads and stuff, you know.
“She helped everybody. I think that’s part of being Southern. You just scoop people up. Now, as far as her makeup and everything, her wigs and all were outrageous, but I loved how she went over the top. That’s what made her Dolly. She had that bling, you know.
“She was easy to love. She loved everybody, and she showed it. I don’t think I ever saw her angry or upset with people. People would just swarm all over, and she would just laugh.
“And I think I remember her saying once that the reason she fell in love with her husband immediately is because he looked her in the eyes and not at her chest. Isn’t that funny?”
Next up was one of my high school besties. In high school, we had a crew of girls, and we would drive to the “lookout point” not to make out with anyone, but to do car karaoke, and often it was Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton. Her 12-year-old son is a big Dolly fan. He even had a cake with her face on it for his b-day in 2022. He was a little shy in the interview, but it was precious.
“My first Dolly memory was maybe five or six. I remember listening to some of her music. I thought her music was good. And I like her as a person. She shows that it doesn’t take much to be nice, and you can be whoever you are or want to be.
“I usually make the Dolly Parton brownies. Oh, my favorite Dolly song is ‘Coat of Many Colors’. Dollywood was fun. I wish I went on more of the rides. There’s a wooden roller coaster. And I think there was a hot balloon ride.”
Like I said, shy but precious, and then I got the homie on the phone.
“I think the first time I really got introduced to Dolly Parton was when I saw her in Steel Magnolias and then Straight Talk back when she was first starting her acting career. I feel like I was 8 years old. And after that, I would listen to her music here and there. As I got older, I started listening to her country music. Like, when I was in high school and college. I would always incorporate her into my mixed CDs, no matter what genre the other songs were.
“After I had kids, I have two boys, I was challenged with what music can we listen to that is child-appropriate, but something that I also like to listen to. So, the kiddos and I, we were on a road trip. They must have been like, like three and five. They’re just digging it out in the backseat, and I’m trying to find something to entertain them. So I put on Dolly Parton’s Essentials playlist.
“And all of a sudden, they got quiet and they listened. We listened to the entire thing straight through. After that, they would just start asking me to play it when we got in the car. I’m like, thank God I don’t have to listen to Kidz Bop all the time. I do love Kidz Bop. I mean, I’m not knocking it.
“So that’s really how I channeled Dolly Parton to them. And then Dumplin’ came out. Dolly’s not in it, but it’s inspired by her. And I can’t tell you how many times we’ve watched Dumplin’. And we watch her Christmas specials. She’s really become part of our traditions. The first vacation that we went to after COVID, we ended up going to Dollywood.
“‘9 to 5’ is really, that is my jam. If I’m having a day or I’m having a moment, I just pop it on and it makes everything right. Reminds me that women have been dealing with this for years. That is definitely my jam.”
I interviewed a lot of people, and though they did talk about her artistic work, mainly everyone spoke about her character, the person she was. She got famous for her talent, but she will always be a national treasure because of her soul, her ability to laugh at herself, her genuine love for everyone. And that will be passed down from generation to generation, just like her music, and maybe more so.
Main photo by Danni Flakes
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