Back for another week of Missed Connections, and in a week where our country seemed like it was about to go under at any moment, things on Craigslist were just as crazy. From spot-on parodies of the QAnon hipster garbage who made up half the crowd at the Capitol invasion (the other half were pure unreconstructed hicks) to keyboard cosplayers filling the pages of Craigslist with what would have been “Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought it would happen to me” letters if they were written 50 years ago, shit is legit popping off this week.
If that all sounds a little too crazy, the missives from Baby Yoda puppeteers, beef stew cooks, and finders of lost license plates may be more your speed. Things are pretty fun all around this week, though — even when other habitual Missed Connections readers finally get disgruntled enough to start complaining about all the ads. Though I must say, those of us reading your posts probably can’t do anything more about the situation than you can. Maybe an email to the Craigslist admins would be a better use of your time? Just a suggestion.
Observe the terms of service, Virginia.
is it safe to assume you aren’t romantically involved with anyone?
I would like to keep flirting with you but I am worried about making you uncomfy
Seeking the helper at Midlo WAWA (Midlothian)
Thanks to the guy who helped me at WAWA Midlo 288/60 I’m the older guy who’s SUV wouldn’t start and you helped jump it. I wasn’t able to thank you cause all I had was plastic, so I offered you another option which seemed to make you pop. You did both in a rush and I forgot to get your contact so if you want another thanks let me know I’ll keep an eye out for your work van. Maybe I’ll see you soon.
Girl in Publix the Village Shopping Center (Three Chopt)
I passed you as you were headed to the check out carrying a flower. You were a dark brunette, wearing a black jacket and camo leggings. We def locked eyes for a few seconds. I tried to get my last item and check out quickly. I saw you leave but didn’t see you in the parking lot. If this was you and you are interested in meeting up, let me know.
I gave you something “filling.” (Richmond)
We had met up at one of the bars downtown.
We had a pretty solid vibe when I came up to you or maybe it was the drinks that carried us away when you said that you’ve never had been with a black dude before. Or maybe it was the fact that your boyfriend had cheated and you just wanted that revenge.
When I took you back to the hotel room to give you exactly what we both wanted, I was amazed by how excitable you were as you took every single inch.
Too bad that I was dumb and I forgot to get your number again. I won’t say your name(I don’t know if you two made up), but I’d like to go at it again.
If you think this is you, I hope you had a real good time with me and I hope you’d be willing for another round.
Gorgeous Female shopper in Jeans/high heels (PUBLIX -Ridgefield/Pump Road)
You were gracefully strutting while you pushed your cart about the store Thursday evening. You seemed intent on your list and should have interrupted you but alas, another moment squandered.
You work at CVS. I came in a couple of days ago and you helped me with my CVS extra points LOL and you set me up for digital receipts and coupons. You are very good looking. We had a nice conversation. When you typed in my phone number I smiled and said “you should remember that”. I complimented your shirt. I know you saw my eyes wondering. I won’t say the location but I hope you see this!
Violating the Terms of Service (Norfolk)
Who keeps posting the ads in “Missing Connections” that always begin with , “Seriously dude? You expect to find
real women on here to …”? Then the ads proceed to direct you to sites where you can find “real” women to hook up with. They clearly violate the terms of service in attempting to get you to go to other sites. They should be permanently banned from posting. I flag them every time I see them and I hope others will do so as well.
Why does every real ad get deleted while all these others stay up?
Please stop deleting real ads
Kingstowne post office 1/6/21 (Alexandria)
You were wearing dark pants (I think you are a nurse) and were getting help finding a package.
I was wearing black pants with a black jacket (bald head) and was picking up a couple certified letters.
This was around 4:15pm(ish).
You turned and smiled at me. Your entire being is beyond stunning, but I especially noticed your gorgeous eyes and amazingly beautiful hair, then I heard your sweet southern accent when you were talking to the lady at the blue package pickup door 😍
I got my letters and left. I looked back at you as I was walking away and you looked in my direction.
I got in my blue Jeep and waited for you to come outside because I had every intention of talking to you! However, you got in your white Hyundai and I had to take a phone call while you smoked a cigarette. Before I was able to get off the phone, you left 😔
I should have talked to you inside the post office but I kinda chickened out…
I would at least like to take you to dinner so I hope you see this!
You where on lunch break and got my bag by mistake. We had same name.
Found license plate “09*** X“ on Trail Canyon Road (charlottesville)
Found Nevada license plate 09*** X on Trail Canyon Road. Show me the other plate and registration form and I’ll tell you where to find this one.
White Jeep Foodlion (Bowling green)
Beef stew….you are absolutely gorgeous! Would’ve loved to help you make it. Maybe we can chat sometime
torn up jeans & curious eyes in Plaza Azteca (Yorktown)
You were the well dressed curious girl with torn up jeans and a really classy top. I am interested so email me back and let’s begin laughing and sharing some fun times together.
Why would someone lie about moving?
Why would someone lie about moving? Either you live here or you don’t. Why lie about it Nevada?
I saw your wedding ring/engagement ring…
But then I looked into your eyes…
And you looked into mine…
And there was something there…
We shared that moment…
We’re both missing that one thing…
It’s a very long shot, but perhaps you’ll see this? I saw you, you saw me. We both smiled, you stopped and let us cross in front of you, and we smiled at each other again! Sunday, January 10 at the Starbucks in Great Falls. A reply with the kind of vehicle you were driving and the sports team on your jacket will get a response!
Bumped into you yesterday at Union station while you were waiting for a train and i was wondering around aimlessly. I was using really bad ventriloquism to talk to people through my baby yoda puppet.
Baby yoda said, “late the train is, hmmm?” to you which made you smile, but you hopped away on your pogo stick, spilling a lot of your coffee to board a train.
If you are a DC resident or come to DC often, I would love to meet you since you are the only person that has smiled at me in years.
I have a boba fet hand puppet you can use for us to chat.
7pm
you were with an older man, dad?
20’s dark hair, dark sagged sweat pants, grey hoodie.
We watched each other. I think we recognized each other.
when it snowed early last yr i paid you to help me to
shovel my drive and walkway.
hit me back , i got you . m/m
LOVE at Capitol Hill (Capitol Hill)
My Aryan Goddess, we met defending our country while at the Capitol Building. I forgot your name, maybe it was Ashley or Aston. You were leading the way, being one of the many leader our movement needs. You used my hand to penetrate through that broken window. It was soft but firm, just like my cousins. Seeing you take charge, made me realize we need to communicate more. We briefly talked about our military experience, how Soros funded antifa, and how we need to take our country back from those Jew York, and Pedofornia loving libtards like Maxine Waters, preaching in their own echo chamber.
Your drive and passion for our great country is what I truly need in my life. I would love to get to know you better and maybe lead into courtship. If this is you, email me with what color hat I was wearing, along with your 23 and Me, to make sure you don’t have tainted blood. God Bless America. TRUMP 2020!
PS – did you like my title? LOVE at Capitol Hill. Because it’s capitalized. I thought it was clever.
Top Photo via Don Winslow/Twitter