This is my final missed connections post. I’m not sad to leave you. Not doing this is honestly super exciting to me.
This is my final missed connections post. I’m not sad to leave you. Not doing this is honestly super exciting to me.
Picking through RVA’s dirty laundry has been the saddest part of my week since I informally took over this column. People can be real scum, you know? Like honest some of these things this week (and others) make me throw up in my mouth a little.
So in conclusion, people suck, try to stomach this week’s best of missed connections.
a hug at checkout – w4w – 22 (Lombardy Kroger)
you were covered in your friend’s blood, frantically scanning a collection of first aid. you were panicking, so my only instinct was to offer you a hug. i wanted to make sure you and your friend are going to be okay, so if you see this, let me know!
To the guy on May 5, flipping off the motorcoach (Monument Avenue)
The bus of FOURTH GRADERS irritated you unknowingly. You responded by flipping them off, cutting them off, and tailing them with your middle finger up in the air. Those 9- and 10-year-olds did not deserve your filth. Grow up.
locker room tonight – m4m (downtown gym)
A few Sundays ago, around 5-ish. You were standing at the sink washing your hands and I had just walked out of the steam room. I saw your eyes immediately fixated on me and checking me (and what was under my towel) out in the mirror. I am very discreet, and there are slim pickings of the guys that go there, so I must admit it was hot to see you discreetly display your attraction for me as well!
I am a tall good looking guy in my twenties, and you are a cute guy yourself. Looked to also be in your twenties and possibly Latin. When I was walking to my locker, you were standing at yours and our eyes locked again…this time for a long time and you gave me a subtle smile. Would love to meet you personally and get to know you better.
Tell me what color your shirt was and what color your pants were and what area your locker was in, so I know its really you when you respond. Hope to hear from you soon!
Two girls – m4w (pony pasture)
We chilled for a little bit by the river. We had a good chat about drinking and smoking. Yall were from Tennessee and talked about Amelia. I couldn’t help to notice that you were so hot and man I wish I could’ve asked for your number.
Anyways I know we are not ideal type for dating but I think you are curious about me just the way I am curious abut you. How about some nsa fun and we meet up for some drinks and smokes and hang out.
I promise you that I will f##k your brains out.
If you feel me then write me one detail about our day at the river.Two girls – m4w (pony pasture)
Walmart short pump late night dog food run – m4w (Walmart)
We played line switch a roo with the guy arguing over the patterns not matching up at the seams of his cushions.
Then a lady in wedges fell in front of us.
I had my dog food behind you.
You were beautiful.
I’d love to take you out if you see this.
Hot bald guy with facial hair – m4m (Conch Republic)
Dude, I see you all the time and your never with a female, you have a very deep voice and great body and big hands.
I see you smoking a cigar from time to time and it makes me want to get on my knees right there and suck your cock. I’m sure it’s big. I also see you at poes pub.
follow me back to my place and I will suck your cock like a pro. Very hot man…. Woof.
Pedestrian Bridge to Belle Isle – m4w – 25
I was walking my dog and we passed one another on the pedestrian bridge beneath the Lee Bridge. I was wearing a blue V neck and corduroy shorts. You had blonde hair with green and pink highlights, jean jacket, and a white bikini bottom. We made eyes; let’s make them again
The car salesman that got me going vroom, vroom – w4m (Richmond, VA)
I know you don’t read these kinds of things so I’ll feel free to let it all out…. You sold me my vehicle last week and you own the car lot, we exchanged numbers and now that we’ve talked I know you’re married and I’m not, but man…I am so attracted to you! It’s kinda funny and out of wack that this slender, light skinned and passive lady likes the heavy set, brown skin and boisterous man you are. Your confidence has me hooked. Your presence commands my attention. I always knew the bigger guys were my kind of tea but you get me bubbly. I know you’re married and lawd knows it’s wrong but can we be wrong together? Maybe not forever but long enough for us both to get what we want.
“GE” or “Moi” – m4m – 40
GE or Moi was you email name. You replied to my post but the emails no longer work. Me and another married guy needed a mouth in Innsbrook office space after hours and you were going to help us. We never met but send a pic with your reply so I know it is you. Finally had a window to use you today but the email bounced. mm4m
Cinco. Bubble butt. Nerdy BF. – m4w (Baja Bean Co.)
Cinco. Booty like a hot cartoon.
Rained just a little, felt good though.
3 questions. Yeah you.
Holler
Hot skateboarding guy near Cedar Apartments – w4m – 24 (18th & Broad)
I see you sometimes when I’m driving home from work. You are a really cute guy that’s normally on a skateboard. Not sure if you’re going to work or school but I think you’re hot. One time I saw you I think you were wearing a button up shirt with cactus plants on it. Not sure if you live in the Cedar apartment building or not but I’d love to have you “teach me how to skateboard” 😉 Hope to hear from you.
Hotel 2yrs Ago – m4m – 27 (Downtown Richmond)
You came to my room one night when I came up for work. You told me to answer the door naked so I did. I took your clothes off and we ended up… 😉 long shot but thought I’d try. Let me know what your name is or something that would indicate that’s it’s you.
Lonely Latin Man in La Milpa; Seductive Sombrero included – m4m – 40 (United States)
Seen Saturday night appropinquabatne-ing(approaching) 3 am as the Latins say, well not these Latins, this hefty hunk of man love was sitting alone in my crowded heart. My crowded heart being a mexican term for the Corn Field or LA MILPA in the common tongue.There he sat this lone brave Gaucho fresh from his work in the Corn field or possibly some bar or sleazy motel as was the style of the time. Beauty has a name and it is thee, O Brave Gaucho! glorious in your splendor like a thousand suns you set MY night ablaze. Could I be as you oh courageous one to have the huevos rancheros to saunter up to you state my business like one of your Latin Machos I would. Alas I was weak, and my vainglourious attempts to capture your sacred attention with my luxurious lapping lashes, eyelashes if you will, they went unnoticed. And so alas it is here I turn to find you my Gaucho I miss your bright light and warm glow find me my little mestizo, find me. Buenos Noches
