The dying days of summer appear to be drawing some desperation from Richmond’s single citizens, if this week’s Missed Connections are any indication. Students writing erotic fiction in class, waitresses doing mysterious things under tables, coworkers playing with each other’s hair during lunch break, and various assorted filthiness of all sorts are breaking out around town.
The dying days of summer appear to be drawing some desperation from Richmond’s single citizens, if this week’s Missed Connections are any indication. Students writing erotic fiction in class, waitresses doing mysterious things under tables, coworkers playing with each other’s hair during lunch break, and various assorted filthiness of all sorts are breaking out around town.
And then there’s the poetry thief and their potential suitor. Come on, folks, stealing books from libraries is never cool. Of course, I’m no saint myself–I stole a copy of Jack Kerouac’s Desolation Angels from the library when I was 19. Then again, they took the fine out of my state tax refund, so I guess I technically bought it.
Anyway, here’s your weekly crop of desperate souls too shy to speak their desires aloud. Young hearts, run free tonight!
Whomever is stealing poetry (Clover, Spahr, Berrigan) from Cabell – 21 (VCU)
hii–
someone has been stealing books from the library by my favorite people. i’m assuming it’s one person because i have a hard time believing there could be three people on campus this cool, doing this, but i guess it’s possible, too.
the three books i wanted to check out this week that have gone missing are Joshua Clover’s “Madonna anno domini,” Juliana Spahr’s “Fuck you, aloha, I love you,” and Ted Berrigan’s “Sonnets.”
while this is disappointing to me, i have 27 other library books checked out so it’s not a super big deal. i’ll find a way to get them. i have my ways. i just want to figure out who you are so i can date you.
i’m a super cute 21 year old girl, i really like both men and women and whatever gender or non-binary you are isn’t a factor with me. i spend most of my time in my 300 year old bed in my haunted apartment or on the 4th floor of the library (aka, a lot of time spent in silence.) but i can be fun, i go to Empire during happy hour to watch the simpsons and drink $2 drafts.
i am not a snitch so don’t even worry about that (like, at all, ever. i hate cops more than anyone else in this stupid hellworld)
i want to talk to you about books and feel something.
a lot of creepers are going to reply to this, so put something earnest and intelligent in the subject line.
You sat in front of me in ARTH 270 writing erotic fiction – m4w – 20 (VCU)
I sat behind you in History of film tonight. You were writing erotic fiction. You probably didn’t realize I noticed what it was you were writing. You seemed really cool though and obviously pretty chill with yourself. I would love to take you out on a date sometime.
Marriage – m4m
For years we been in world of indenial and now its
getting to the point where i know you want to give up
and im.at a.point i never want to give up on you. We
have sonething noone can rale away even ourselves
cant take away. Trust me n trust we ha ve nothibg to
worry about. Make it yes
Flirty waitress at the buffet… – m4w (Mechanicsville)
You were flirting with me when I came in for lunch…just wondering if you do that with all the customers or are you just horny and want to fuck?
I’m game if you are… đ
You brought me something to the table when it came out of the oven…if you see this you’ll know what I’m talking about….
What did you do under the table when you brought the check? Only you will know…
If you see this send a response and we can make a planâŠ
Boulders – m4w
You work in the boulders and are beautiful, older woman. We talk whenever we see each other, and you always talk about my hair. How would you like to run your hands through it one day during your lunch break? You know who you are. If you reply to this, then is know we can make this happen.
WaWa CaShIeR – m4w (Staples Mill)
You always know what pump im on “baby”………………………………..Message me you slip me that number if you want!
you were jogging this morning with two dogs – m4m (Ellwood Ave)
I saw you this morning jogging in the 3100 block of Ellwood Ave. you had to two dogs with you. I was staring at your crotch and I am pretty sure you saw me. When I looked up you were smiling and said hello. You were very good looking, if you want me to to take care of that cock just email me.
long haired papi at new york deli – w4m (carytown)
I was walking down the street with a friend and we made eye contact.
I am trying to buy you food. Hmu.
To The Lovely Stranger Who Left Their Cigarette Pack on W Broad St – w4mw (W Broad St)
resembles : An asshole
Yesterday night around 10pm I was walking around W Broad St wasting time waiting for a friend. I’m a natural scavenger, and I always look down when walking to see if I can find something cool. I was looking down, again like I do, and stumbled across a cigarette box on the ground near the sidewalk. It was a pack of Marlboro Red’s. I bent down to get it, and discovered it was still in the cellophane package, unopened and not crushed. I was in shock and felt like it was an awesome item to find. However, something has happened from this.
That’s right you motherfucker. You’re fucking dumb and probably unaware stupid ass left a box of cigarettes on the ground. I’ve smoked the full pack in under 6 hours. I have bought three more packs already and have spent the last of my money that I have until Friday. I have already started counting loose change and thinking of items to sell to get more money for cigarettes. I have a fucking problem now you asshole.
I’ve now gone through almost 2 packs in under 24 hours. FUCK YOU. MY HUSBAND HATES CIGARETTES. ALL BECAUSE YOU WERE IGNORANT AND DUMB. I AM NOW SLEEPING ON THE COUCH BECAUSE HE HATES THE SMELL. HE THINKS I AM ALSO CHEATING ON HIM NOW BECAUSE I HAVE TURNED “DIFFERENT.”
You stranger, you fucking are ruining my life. I can’t stop smoking now and if my husband leaves me because you triggered a nicotine addiction, I hope you feel sorry and think to never be so inconsiderate.
Fuck you.
Taylor’s Sat. Night – m4w
you at the bar with a black top/ dress on me very close to you at the bar but we didn’t talk( I was thinking you were with that guy beside you) I love the way you had sex with me with your eyes my tongue would also love to return the favor
Iron Bridge Rd – m4m – 47 (Chesterfield)
age : 47
Friday morning, September 5
You were driving a Chesterfield County truck….and you were riding beside me.
I was rubbing my crotch, and you really seemed to enjoy watching me
Want to see more? I’d love to show you more……….
Let me know if you are interested – tell me what I was driving so I know it’s you.
You were driving a light blue ram pickup today at Bryan Park – m4m (Bryan Park)
i was walking my dog at Bryan park and was about to leave when you came into the parking lot to get in your light blue ram 1500 pickup.
You have light brown hair and you had black socks on. You also had one of the biggest bulges in your shorts i have ever seen.
Eye contact was made.
I need to see what was making that huge bulge.
Hit me up!
to those carytown moms… – m4w – 24 (carytown)
age : 24
just a shout-out to all my carytown moms out there
jogging up and down Ellwood with those crazy, cross-fit bods
walkin around all dressed up in the finest
big sunglasses, big dogs
juz keep doin your thing girlz
id swap dirty pics anytime,
maybe even beat it up if your looking.
