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Best of VA Missed Connections January 1 – January 7

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New year, new you, and new Missed Connections! Our first weekly installment of the roaring (20)20’s finds a lot of positive sentiment marking the dawn of a new decade. It’s a remarkable wave of goodwill to start the year off, but how long will it last?

Well, keep reading, because if you guessed “not even til the end of this week,” you’re definitely right, because before too long, we’ll be wandering among New Year’s resolutions that involve foot fetishes, along with fierce “no homo” type declarations from hikers who protest WAY too much. Thankfully, we’ve also got meet-cutes at the Tobacco Company and old-fashioned crushes from the roller rink to even it all out.

I’m not at all sure about the people seeking grandparent figures for their teenager on Craigslist, but I am stoked to see people lusting after Waffle House waitresses… even though, for me, what I really lust after at Waffle House is a triple order of hash browns. Scattered, smothered, covered, diced, peppered, and capped, if you please. Now THAT’s some good eating.

Dig in, Virginia.

Happy New Year to my friends! (Fluvanna County)

To my old friends,and new friends,please have a safe and happy time! Let’s make the coming year the best it can be. Enjoy and cherish your good times and leave behind the bad times. If anyone has less friends than hoped for,you can count on me as a new and good friend. I hope to hear good news!

Promise made to myself (Charlottesville Area)

For a New Years resolution,I promised myself not to be so critical or fussy about others. Perhaps if I’m more tolerant,my getting older won’t be so bad. Does anyone here have a similar story and need to talk through a hurtful situation?

If Possible I Would Age Swap With An Elderly/Senior Citizen (Roanoke, Virginia)

If it truly was possible to swap ages, I would be willing to trade my age with any senior citizen/elderly woman or man that lives in either Roanoke or Salem, VA.

Backpacking / Hiking partner (Woodford)

Hi,..anyone interested in backpacking….NO I AM NOT GAY….

Question for women (Kempsville)

Ladies… Do you like having your toes kissed? Does it turn you on?

New Year’s resolution! Finding a female friend with nice feet (Hampton Roads)

Everyone has a New Year’s resolution, everything from losing weight, saving money, or making a major purchase. I am searching for a mature woman who I can be friends with and also massage and admire her feet. I know, it’s a little out of left field and some are thinking “One of those guys who likes feet.”. I am being honest as I work a lot and would love to find someone who is doesn’t mind being friends with a guy who likes feet. Feet don’t have to be all done up and perfect, race doesn’t matter, and size doesn’t matter. So if interested, and yes their are perks to this friendship, please email me. I am not looking for anything more than that, I wish there was a proper channel to post an ad like this, but I do believe that their is someone who can make my one of my New Year’s resolution come true. If interested please email me, if you have constructive criticism please email me, if you have questions than please email me. Happy New Year’s!!!!

Downtown New Years Eve (Cville)

Downtown New Years Eve. At a restaurant, you with a guy and me with a woman. You spoke to me when I walked by and you also said goodbye when you passed on your way out. New Year…maybe be new friends? Hope to hear from you. What restaurant?

Hot beer slinger at Mustang Sally’s about 2 years ago (Richmond)

You were the best bartender I’ve ever seen. I’ve been deployed and came back only to see a new name and no you. I saw you comfort a customer who’s dog died,you stepped in between two bikers and got them out and down the road with no altercation,poured 25 komokizes shots, got a regular drunk into a uber and never missed a beat with all the conversations thrown at you. Miss Sallie where are you?

Super fly hotty at the skate center (Salem)

I saw you at the skate center yesterday and it was hard to keep my eyes off you. You was thick and curvy, tall blonde white female, light blue jeans, grey shirt and white vans type sneakers. You had a lil girl with you in dark color clothing. You had a white belt with a rather unique buckle. You left me with fantasies in my head. I was the guy sitting alone with the grey sweat pants and red long sleeve shirt by the fun zone. If your interested reply back with what your belt buckle was. I really hope u respond Q T!!

Home Depot Carmia (Bon Aire)

We were at Home Depot with our grey dog and you said how much you liked him, you were helping a friend move and your friend was scared of our dog. We were to shy to tell you how much we liked you and wish we had!

Any cougars or panthers on the prowl? (Ashland)

Meow! Ladies only!!!Wanna have some fun with a youngish white boy with lots of tattoos? Consensual play desired. No p2p. Open to all races and body types skinny chubby or bbw. Can host or travel. Im 39.

Where is my uniformed guy

You were literally my dark knight in uniform. You were “new to all of this” but we hit it off great. I had hoped my search was over.

in search of intellectual and genuine peeps

i moved up in the highlands about a year ago, and being a transplant from baltimore makes it more difficult.

i’m in blacksburg right now and last night i met some great people at the underground. i need more of that. having a broad education and being clever goes a long with me.

this is not spam or a morning blow-n-go. i really need conversations to stimulate my gray matter and restore my wild imagination and insightful creativity.

will you talk to this poor lonely soul who believes in gravity because it brings us and everything together in circles and spheres? 

Zions Walmart (Zions crossroads)

You were in Walmart solo today around 2:45. I was in line behind you. You are M. Tall with dark hair, tattoos and I noticed when you checked out you flashed a badge. You were definitely some nice eye candy. Tell me what you were wearing as it’s pretty specific . And btw I’m a F but wasn’t alone

Looking for Grandparents (Highland Springs)

This is a long shot but, I have a 16 year old son who wants grandparents, his passed away several years ago, and it’s a subject he talks about all the time, he stays to himself, and has a heart of gold.I work shift work, and try to spend as much time with him as possible, couldn’t ask for a better young man. But what I see he hurts for , really hurts.

Car Man (Colonial Heights)

Getting gas on Sunday morning…interested in chatting about cars

Me: Mature WM you 30ish BM. Tell be type of car we talked about and where we were.

Tobacco Company Club – seated at bar, introduced me to White Claws (Richmond)

NYE celebrations in TCC. You were seated at the bar seat next to me for some time. I drank my Woodford Reserve on the rocks and asked you about your drink – White Claw – because I had seen them before but never knew what they were.

We chatted back and forth. Your attitude was very bubbly and happy every time we interacted. Good conversation was had and there was definitely a flirty vibe between us. The energy you were putting off was incredible but I got pulled away by one of my buddies. Did not get your name prior. 😅

I was wearing a white T with an angel wing pendant on. My navy blue blazer was in my lap while we chatted.

Here is to hoping this missed connection thing produces some results. Would enjoy getting to know more about you. 🤔 Maybe this time we can start with exchanging names? 🤦🏻‍♂️ 😂

Skirt with maroon tights at Neighborhood walmart (Va bch)

You were in the Neighborhood Walmart on Holland and Buckner (near Shipps Corner) in Sunday evening. You were tall and fit and wearing a denim skirt with maroon/cranberry tights underneath, and a tight fitting yellow sweater and boots. OH MY GOD you are the hottest girl to ever walk into a Walmart . I know you noticed me with my jaw dropped. You got into a silver rav4 – you look so amazing, I must see you again. Hit me back

Cute guy in Walmart around 2 o’clock (va beach)

We ran into each other a few times walking down the isles. You looked at me and smiled. You’re a white guy short brown hair dark jeans and a tight shirt. Tell me what I was wearing

Food Lion M4F (Great Bridge)

Saw you shopping today and just wanted to say you are absolutely gorgeous. I wanted to say something but didn’t want to be that creepy guy.

Kroger Willow Lawn (Willow Lawn)

Sunday night. Flower lady.

Kroger Sunday night (Tuckahoe)

Looking for the gentleman I made eye contact with then spoke to Sunday at Kroger. Would like to further our chat. Where were you from and where were we talking…answer these to let me know it was you.

Waffle house waitress (dinwiddie/petersburg)

You waited on me early morning reddish hair glasses I will say you are a beautiful woman ! You got my attention.

Petsmart vcc muscle car

You were blonde ,very sexy walking out of petsmart and getting into your nice ride. Black pants ,blue shirt. I think you saw me looking at you.

Dave Chapelle & you in a pic (Miller’s)

I wanted to stop everything and stay in that moment as long as possible. I was drunk tho, and thought it tacky at the time to further our connection. Also, it was so nice to just be in that moment.

Target – Staples Mill (Henrico)

Surprised we were the only ones in store Sunday. (LOL) You seem like a nice person. Any chance I could buy you a cup of coffee?

In line at Target last night (S Laburnum Ave.)

We were in line just before close. You had a few more things and let me go a head of you. I thought you were super cute. If this is you reply with what I was buying. If you’re on Quickmeet let me know what name you go by.

To the Cute Lady at Panera Bread in Midlothian (midlothian, VA)

Hello. We briefly talked today in Panera Bread Midlothian as I was leaving the place. You were with your child. I just wanted to let you know that you are so cute and beautiful lady. I hope you see this. Thanks

To the girl working late at Taco Bell (Virginia Beach)

I saw you looking at me last night. And it’s not the first time. If you’re interested, say something. You might like the response you get.

Frisby’s New Years day around oneish (Powhatan)

If you see this…Frisby;’ between noon & 1pm or so you were with an older lady sitting near the TV wearing yellow shirt, striped coat and lace up boots. I was eating with friends and we made eye contact several times. I thought that you were very attractive. What kind of car were you driving? Color?

Sexy Doctor!

You will most likely never see this, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your sexy smile and the fun we could have!

We shared a lot of quick laughs at a nice restaurant bar a few days before Christmas. Tell me where……

You – sexy, in shape female dr.

Oreillys Auto Hayes VA (Gloucester)

I was walking in O’Reillys Auto while you were I held the door for you and your son you have black hair, your eyes and smile are so beautiful should have asked if your seeing anyone. It was around 5- 5:15 pm if you see this call or text me would love to get to know you 

Best of VA Missed Connections December 24 – December 31

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Since we last brought you our weekly Missed Connections roundup, we’ve moved from Merry Christmas to Happy New Year, and from freezing temps to a surprising post-solstice return of springlike conditions. That’s led quite a few people to break out the warm weather clothing, which can include sandals… the mere thought of with draws weirdos inexorably toward Craigslist.

But it’s not just foot fetishists out here in MC-land, we’ve also got quite a bit of Christmas spirit lingering throughout the final week of 2019. If you bought a stranger a pizza over the holidays, kudos to you; what’s more, someone in the Missed Connections just might be looking for you. Plus, we’ve got awkwardly charming holiday geekiness, friendly Honda repairmen, and gorgeous Taco Bell frequenters (so you know they’ve got good taste).

I sure hope you guys have gotten all the foot talk out of your system this week, though. If it starts being like this every week, I’m gonna be a bit skeeved out.

Happy New Year, Virginia!

Toes in December (Short Pump)

What a nice surprise for these warm days in December. Makes me want to see some sexy female toes out and about. Mature, generous male wants to pamper and play with your feet.

From painting your nails to sucking your toes, I love it all.

Shoe size in subject line will get my attention. Come on ladies, let me at your feet !

Where is my package

You delivered once, but I guess the holiday rush kept you away…..I hope to unwrap that chocolate again.

Lonely (Midlothian)

Lonely during the holidays would love to find a friend. 

Pizza rocks (place 4 g)

I am thankful on Christmas that you got me pizza when I was without food. When I think all is lost, someone shows up and helps me. I think your name was Jaimes and you had a place near where I was. I have to get my plan together soon, to live for another day. So I can pay it forward to the next person. Would like to be able to gmail you if you can. Should be able to do some work to your car or something for your kindness. Thank you again and have a great Christmas. 

Missing my foot goddess (Rva)

Missing my beautiful foot goddess, hopefully I can reunite or meet someone new. 

When a fine woman with shy smile comes along (540397 Culpeper Road)

You bumped into me accidentally and were embarrassed I guess. I was about speechless because of your smile and fab hair. It was hard to talk because you surprised me. You really alone Christmas? I am dumb because I am too and your bumping into me I didn’t say same here. Never posted or asked, but would you like to just walk somewhere pretty and talk? Promise I am kind and will make you smile again. Who wants to be alone anyhow? I hope you see this, and since I had guts to post, maybe you will respond. You seemed playful so – dare! New years coming and 5191 is the band playing at the winery. You have snuck and got my number. I hear they have new ducklings this year!!!!! 

A truck for Christmas…

We talked for a minute a few nights ago… I want to talk more! Tell me about your truck so I know it’s you.

New in town (Richmond)

New in town looking to go out with some other party goers .. ready for a good time to bring in the new year 

coffee awkwardness at 7-eleven (Museum District)

That awkward shuffle we did around each other while making coffee really made me giggle the other day (Friday? Saturday?). So did your pikachu lanyard and spiderman wallet. Wanna go… grab more, um… coffee?

7-11 Cashier (Corner of Main and Harrison Street)

I was in your 7-11 at almost midnight on the 21st. You were talking to the other cashier and it looked like you were preparing to go home. Our eyes met a few time. You are a brunette woman with beautiful brown eyes and I wanted to say something to you but chickened out. If you see this, remember me and are interested give me a shout. I’d like to get to know you.

Female foot models wanted (Hampton Roads)

Searching for women over the age of 18 who have pretty to decent looking feet who wouldn’t mind modeling their feet. Modeling feet includes pictures and videos and that’s all. Toe nails don’t have to be painted, nor is a pedicure needed (it can be provided if desired), and size of feet doesn’t matter. Please no mangled and extra toes, skin conditions, or missing and extra toes. Any race is welcomed to apply, and finding someone in the next few weeks is important. If interested, please email me and include age, foot size, and picture of feet if you have it. Please also have a pair of flip flops, sneakers, heels (closed and open toe), and flats. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day. 

New Years friendly party (Fredericksburg)

The wife and I were downtown Fredericksburg back during New Years You were an older gentleman the wife had dark hair and everything seem pretty cool with good conversation but we lost your contact info. We are staying in Fredericksburg New Year’s weekend again just wanted to see if we could find you…long shot. If this is you send your picture for confirmation

Restroom second time

This was the second time I ran into you, the last being tonight. You were working. You were standing still and I went into the stall. I came out and we glanced at each other and you went into the stall. You were on your phone again. Was it meant for us to meet? If you see this tell me what I said before I left.

Lady with Honda at BAP GEON (Norfolk)

Looking for Beautiful woman that I helped at Bap Geon Saturday 14th with her Honda so she could make it to a Funeral. You offered me money and I wouldn’t take it so you gave me a hug instead. If you see this I would love to take you to lunch sometime.

fun times again (Chesterfield)

We hooked up a couple times at your place & I was wondering would you like to reconnect ?? Or was wondering if there might be a different woman that likes having her feeties worshipped. If your still here & want to have more fun, just let me know. Or if you want to try to see if we connect, let me know

Looking for a woman

I am a younger white country boy just looking for some new things to learn in the room If you know what I mean hmu with anything females only 

Looking for a girl w a secret (Lawrenceville)

I’m looking for about any girl that secretly likes to be spanked. Maybe not so secretly. Maybe this is new fantasy, or maybe lifelong, or maybe you’re just curious. We may have been chatting and got cut off before. Reply back, and let’s chat and go from there. WM, 51

This connection is missed (Chesapeake)

To have dinner with someone who is genuinely interested and chat about the things that you’re passionate about. Having someone you can trust and setting your insecurities aside , and just being yourself. Not being afraid to fail or being scared of rejection… because you know the other person would never judge you. Not having to chase someone … because they aren’t constantly testing you. It would be so nice to have that ONE great friend who I could confide in , someone that would understand me… and me understand you. In reality —I’m searching for a best friend. Someone who is loyal , someone who appreciates my flaws , someone who sees my imperfections as… perfection. I’m attractive and fit , funny yet practical. Chemistry comes naturally ,could you be the one ?

Golds Gym (Colonial Heights)

To the guy in orange shoes who comes in morning, WOW! U kinda remind me of Prince Royce. Cant wait to see u at gym again. 

I Drove You In My Car (Henrico West Broad Street Area)

So, gorgeous white male with the dark hair, did I misread our mutual interest?….I am a female to weed out the majority on here who are males looking for other males. Believe it or not, there are some heterosexual people still around. Merry Christmas to all.

Erin’s Smile (Newport News)

She comes into taco bell on Mercury in the colliseum area a lot. Her smile could light up the darkest heart. She’s beautiful too.

C (22901)

Please just tell me you’re ok.

Starbucks (West salem)

To the individual who paid for my starbucks this morning…THANK YOU.. it was at 11:47 this morning. Tell me the amount you paid and the car you was driving. Would love to chat… M for Female..

Nelson County Automobile Accident on New Year’s Eve (2012?) ((River Rd) Rt. 6 – between 151 and 29)

Several years ago on New Year’s Eve (2012?), around 1AM, there was a single-vehicle automobile accident in Nelson County on River Rd (Rt. 6 between 151 and 29). A small SUV ran off the road and hit a tree, injuring the driver. There were no other occupants. I was the first person to stop, and stayed until rescue workers took over. If anyone recognizes this event, I’m curious about the driver and her recovery. 

We met on a rainy night in short pump (Short pump)

We met on a rainy night in a parking lot of a sporting goods store in short pump. My email screwed up and I can’t get back into my account ….I hope you haven’t moved on. We made out in a parking lot and moved the car somewhere else and I still regret not putting it in….I hope you see this,this is how we found each other.

PetSmart (Chester)

I’m looking for the female that was in PetSmart today. White attractive female. In the store between 10-2. If its you let me know. I was attracted to you. I’ll let you know who I was when you respond. 

PA Rec Center, Swimmer (Virginia beach)

We always see each other in the locker room and exchange glances … you are a swimmer in your STeam and I would say Hi. Tell me what class of speedo I always use and what is the team name

Car salesman

I bought a used car today from you today. You are a very sexy woman and i would like to hook up with u one night. If you see this, tell me the car i bought so i know its you. You are a ravens fan.

Food Lion (Outside powhatan)

You were grabbing a few items, in express lane. You dropped an item I picked it up and put it on the counter. We made small talk. You were jokingly flirty bud I was being serious. You had on your work gear. If you see this say hi.

Blond at short pump kroger (Short pump va)

We made eye contact in the water isle a few times and after that. You had on black leggings and had an amazing figure, earring in your nose. Very attractive lady.! I was the male you made eye contact with and smiled at. Describe me so I know it was you. Would love to know more about you and your figure.

UVA Primary Care Thursday 12/19 (Charlottesville)

We passed in the lobby, you were watching me watching you; was that a glint in your eyes or just a reflection of the spark in mine? We both smiled, and you certainly brightened my morning. I’m the grey-beard with the walking stick. Would like to actually meet you if you’re interested. If not, then I can understand and respect that, and thank you for the moment. 

Best Of VA Missed Connections December 11 – December 17

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Christmas time is here, and New Years Eve will be here soon after. But y’all, please do not find your ride home from the holiday season’s wild parties in the Missed Connections. This ain’t the Edgar Winter Group, and there’s no such thing as a free ride.

OK, now that we’ve got that warning out of the way, let’s enjoy the week’s highlights, from hardware store tool seekers to junkyard tool providers. Y’all are obsessed with tools out here. You don’t really know your equestrian terminology though, so here’s a hint: a stallion is a MALE horse, so you might not want to use that term for a woman you’re trying to impress.

You probably also shouldn’t take pictures of girls who don’t know you’re checking them out, especially if you intend to post said pictures on Craigslist either. Let’s dial it back on the creepiness just a bit, folks. After all… it’s the holiday season, Virginia.

Girl at Weezie’s Kitchen Tuesday night karaoke (Carytown)

I was sitting at the bar at Weezie’s during Tuesday night karaoke and you were sitting at a nearby table with friends. We made eye contact a couple of times. You were wearing a stocking cap and I thought you were really cute. I was a white guy wearing a blue shirt. If this sounds like you and if you thought I was cute too, write me back and we can grab a drink at Weezie’s sometime.

December 13, 2017

You’re in my thoughts. Always will be.

Does he ignore you? (Charlottesville Area)

If you are being ignored or just lonely,I’d like to talk to you. I understand the way things go after the beginning good years and maybe we can find a solution. Isn’t life too short to find ourselves not having that nice feeling about life anymore?! Write and let’s talk.

Free ride home. I’ll be your DD (Richmond)

I drive for a ride share on the weekends but I’d like to give some lucky female a “free” ride home at the end of the night. Conditions apply. Message me for details.

Hardware Store (Nelson Area)

I saw you in the hardware store. You were very masculine, rugged, and mature. We chatted briefly and you noticed I was interested in your tool. Something definitely looked like hardware. Would like to meet in private. Even if this sounds like you, please say hello. Be nice to have a Nelson friend.

Affair wanted (Richmond)

Married good looking male in a sexless marriage and looking for another female in the same situation.

Ideally this would be long term and very very discreet. Would have to meet in public place for coffee to talk and see if there is a connection.

I’m very handsome and professional. Clean cut business type.

ISO Lovely Middle Aged Lady

You, dear lady, are someone I’ve seen more than once in a few places. I get the impression that you’re something like me; early 60s, married quite a while to a spouse who hardly knows you’re there, much less satisfy the inner cravings of an aching heart and body. You may not be a beauty pageant winner, but you have an inner beauty that has won my heart. Please write me, and when you do include the name of a color and a vegetable so I’ll know you actually read this. Thank you, my dear, I’ll be waiting.

Utility Worker (Downtown)

Saw you on the smoking block. Did we share “looks” thought you were going to say hello when you walked to the trash can. HMU

Bob at junk yard

You helped by lending tools. You were removing bumper. I was getting seats!

Not looking for sex, just a tinker buddy!!

To Katie (Around)

My God you’re such a stallion! I’m sure you can tell it’s quite the pleasure to soak you in at times. Know that the sight of you is appreciated…especially in your athletic pants….but I do miss the dresses on your curvy girl frame. Hope to see you soon.

TS Dicks Sporting Goods/ miss connections (Fredericksburg/ WARRENTON RD)

Looking for me some good golf Clubs and Balls

Capital ale innsbrook (Glen allen)

You were the cute Asian guy who approached me at the bar, you just turned “21, like 2 min ago”. Tell me what you ordered

Attractive woman at Verizon store on west broad (West end.)

Our eyes met a few times yesterday(Saturday) at the Verizon store on broad, and I am sorry I didn’t come over and at least chat with you and see what your situation was. Hope you see this and we can chat

Matt B (Richmond)

I have seen you around work and you are cute. Saw you at the holiday party today and your were looking real good in your blue suit. If you see this and are bi, gay, let me know. If anyone else knows Matt, let me know

Petite at Chick-fil-A (Chesapeake)

Thank you for waving back at me today at lunchtime. You are a very lovely woman and you truly captured me! Beautiful blond hair and petite little woman. I have to be honest, I’m in a marriage that’s falling apart and I know it’s wrong to look at another woman and gesture. “I couldn’t help myself”. But it truly made my day that you acknowledged me and waved. I hope you’re a very happy soul and thank you for being so beautiful! Hope you have a wonderful weekend and Merry Christmas to you!

Chubby girl who works at CiCi’s in the Powerplant Parkway area (Hampton)

So you have worked at CiCi’s awhile. I don’t go there much, but everytime I do, you’re working and I just can’t help staring at you. You’re beautiful, that’s for sure. I hope it’s not too weird, but i took a pic of you to help so you’d know I’m talking about you. I tried talking to you personally, but you were so busy bussing. I’d like to talk if you see this. Email me back with a picture of yourself so I know it’s indeed you. Hope to hear from you soon. EDIT: Won’t let me post images.

Monday Monday (Richmond)

You and I used to say how we middle aged men always hate Mondays. Then we used to get together in your office and all of a sudden Monday was not so bad. We used to have a bunch of good laughs and your name is Dennis and mine is John. Do you remember me?

Bella at sheetz (Madison)

I wish we could have talked longer and I’d love to get to know you better… you asked about my sweatshirt, tell me what country it was from so I know it’s you

Pizza Guy (Oilville)

Picked up my order late last evening, you had difficulty with the register. Took awhile for you to check me out but gave me longer to check you out lol. You’re very handsome and I got a curious man vibe from you. I was totally interested but shy. Should have said something.

Saw you at Colonial Italian Restaurant (Colonial Heights)

We smiled at each other in the parking lot of Colonial Italian Restaurant in Colonial Heights on Tuesday afternoon as we were both approaching the restaurant to go in for lunch. You were a cute white female and I was a male wearing a grey jacket. You were with another guy so I figured that I shouldn’t come up and say hello, but then I realized that he might have just been a friend or coworker and I am regretting not saying anything to you. I thought you were really attractive and I’m hoping that you see this so that I can have the chance to take you out for lunch or a drink. If this sounds like you, feel free to send me a message with any questions.

Big Lick Brewery Friday (Roanoke)

You were with a guy, maybe he was just a friend? Ha You are a tall, sexy, beautiful blonde female in your 20’s. I thought we made some eye contact in the glances we exchanged, almost sure if it 😉 Hopefully you see this! Send me a message with what I was wearing 😉

I was with a few female friends enjoying some beers.

Enjoyed meeting you the other night (West Broad Village)

Hi, I was at Park Lane Tavern with some friends the other night and talked to you briefly. You were a pretty BBW (if I may say so when the best intention). We chatted for a while but then you had to go with your friends and I didn’t get your number. I would love to meet you again and talk some.

Female friend

Looking for a clean female friend to have fun with 420 friendly and love to drink and party send me pictures !!!

Missing you (Chesapeake)

We shared so many great memories together. It started because we were lonely in our relationships at the time… but then we grew into a relationship of our own. I never knew where I fit into your life , I guess that’s why I was always confused. Sometimes I think you cared more about me than you thought you could … maybe that’s why you let me go.

I believe you think of me often but you’re not sure how I’d react. I miss your voice and I miss seeing your smile… Those butterflies were always there whenever we met.

Best Of VA Missed Connections December 4 – December 10

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Christmas is coming, and tensions are running high — especially in this week’s Missed Connections. If you’ve got a camera and a talent for portraits, commissions for naughty holiday pictures are just a Craigslist ad away. You know you wanna — just think about all those Christmas gifts one photoshoot could pay for.

There’s plenty more on offer this week as well, from Deadheads with Facebook groups to guys attempting to lure you in by comparing themselves to Kelsey Grammer’s Frasier character. And if you’ve already broken out your favorite Christmas sweater a few times this month, someone just might be looking for you!

Meanwhile, at least one Acura salesman’s sales pitches are working better than he ever expected. And once again, Missed Connections proves that the cliche about guys loving women in workout clothes is still true decades after the heyday of Jane Fonda’s Workout.

Let’s get physical, Virginia.

Provocative Photographer (Richmond)

So.. not really sure this would go, but I am looking for someone with photography skills that would be willing to take some provocative “christmas pictures.” For example, me in long johns with a glass of wine in front of a xmas tree. Looking for a semi-talented person who has a real camera, photoshop, etc. Not some guy with an iPhone 5. I am an attractive, fit, white guy in his late 20’s. Curious to see if this might work out. Please send your stats too so I have an idea of who I am talking to. Thanks!

Home Alone (Carytown)

Looking for woman to come over and watch Home Alone. Handsome, hung, mid-30s, white male. 🙂

Tatted mom at Walmart (Richmond)

Looking for the chick I chatted with at Walmart on friday… Thick with some dope ink and some baby blues…had your son with you him and my daughter had a funny chat with eachother…you complimented my hand tattoo.Tell me what I said about the tattoo on your chest so I know its you…Really hope you see this.

Beautiful Feet (RVA)

This is for the ladies only:

I’m hoping to find someone with nice feet who’d enjoy making me pamper them on a regular basis. I will definitely make it worth your while. I’m sane, very fit, and attractive if that matters.

Thanks!

Need pillows (Richmond)

Looking for so nice BIG soft pillows to rest my head on or in. I like older, broken in and used pillows. If anyone has any that she wants to contribute then let me know

He doesn’t listen to you? (Everywhere)

I will

Remember Dr. Crane from Cheers? His tag line from his radio call-in program…”I’m listening”.

Does your husband/boyfriend/main squeeze just not listen to you? Is he too wrapped up in sports/golf/hunting/drinking beer to talk to you…to listen to you…listen to the things you’re interested in???

Well..I’ll listen. I’m not a psychiatrist, psychologist, or sociologist…no letters after my name. Just a mature gentleman (well..at least I think I am), retired technical professional that’s been around the block a few times, been kicked in the head by life a few times.

I know how frustrating it can be when someone just doesn’t listen…or care to.

So…talk to me…tell me what bugs you…I promise a sympathetic ear.

This is no come-on…I don’t need to know your name, we’ll probably never meet, I won’t share what you tell me with anyone.

I’m listening!!!!

Manscaping (Shortpump)

I used to trip a straight guy and miss it!

Downtown server named Logan (The Burg)

Last time I was in having lunch and you served me it looked like you were suffering from an extreme lack of a vitamin D. I know the holidays probably are keeping you busy buying gifts so if you want to come by I have a huge supply of it I can give you.

reindeer sweater (Jax Ward)

Christmas party. You had on a great reindeer sweater. Similar stats between us except for age. Discreet here.

Looking for Pam from the DSO Concert (Richmond)

I met the most fascinating woman at the DSO concert at the National. We spent half of the show together and her name is Pam but I foolishly didn’t get her contact information. 

Pam, if you see this please reach out to me or perhaps join the Facebook group Ramble On RVA. I’m fairly easy to find there, or I am usually at Friday happy hour at Cary St. Cafe. I really hope to see you again.

Acura salesman (West broad)

You know you were flirting hard earlier today.. hope you sell me something!!

Tractor Supply (Powhatan)

Saw you buying dog food we had mutual man to man eye contact. Got a vibe from you. Thought you were handsome.

Mr. Submarine Cook on Jefferson Davis (Richmond)

You are a Dominican girl?
I’m an Asian male
I ordered a corned beef sub/fries today
I don’t apologize for eye f*cking you
Hit me up

Looking for the Female Marine

Since most men are morons I’ve changed the title of the post. I am a guy posting about a woman!

We’ve literally almost ran into each other twice. We see each other around work every now and then and I always get a smile from you. I believe you may have recently dyed your hair lighter, but it’s hard to tell since you always have it up in uniform.

If you see this get in touch. I get the feeling that this a mutual interest.

Ridgefield YMCA (Ridgefield)

You’re a white woman who works at the Y; it was about noon when I checked in, started to walk back, and that’s where I met you, and we had a brief conversation. Your hair was pulled back into a tight bun. When I was in the gym, I could help but try and watch you as you sanitized the equipment. I tried to find you on the way out so I could catch a glimpse at your name tag, and say goodbye, but no luck. I don’t care about your home situation…. I’m just really hoping you see this!

Girl with black hair in double bun with gray shirt and wind breakers (Hopewell food lion)

You were shopping around 1230 Saturday. I’d like to get to get to know you. I was going to approach but you were with someone and didn’t want it to be awkward. Send me a pic so I know it’s you

Tatted blonde at onelife (Chesapeake)

Saw you this morning, I think we were hitting the exact same circuit pretty much. We worked out next to each other a few times. Tell me what I was wearing would love to have a workout body.

Handsome Driver (Oilville)

You caught my attention on the road. Mighty handsome in that big truck and bright orange work shirt. You had me thinking about you.

Central Park (Fredericksburg)

You held the door open for me and winked at me. You are one sexy guy. You’ll remember me if you see this post. ABC Store at around 2:30pm today. You were the third guy in the truck

Food Lion Portsmouth, Handsome White Guy with Long Pony Tail (Portsmouth)

You were working tonight at the registers, Portsmouth Food Lion High St. You are a very good looking white guy with a long pony tail. Stop by my place after work for a relaxing foot massage, etc. I live in Port Norfolk Portsmouth.

Dear John

When I’m with you I feel free. Like I’m flying, metaphorically. Physically, I feel agile and spry. I feel that at any moment I could kiss you and you would be ok with it. You my invite it. Though, this is only speculation for I cannot read your thoughts and as always, your cards held tight to your chest.

I love my wife. This is an understatement. More decorative language would only result in the same solid fact. I love who she is, I love who she pushes me to be. I cannot profess this enough. There is nothing that could come between us aside from my foolish wrongdoings. I am wild about my wife. She is how I define sexy. She is how I define woman. It is foolish of me to assume that you would invite an advance. Almost as foolish it is to think that I will ever make one. So our relationship would be doomed to sway in this precarious position until you, bored of my state, find entertainment elsewhere.

I’m so sorry to assume things of you

I’m so sorry to lead you on into thinking that we had a strictly platonic relationship while I secretly pined for you.

It is healthy for no one to continue this way.

Though, I would like to stay in touch the only way I can. Perhaps selfishly, but I don’t want to be forgotten by you. Bleep blurp bloop

Hot Dad In Southpoint Walmart

You were looking for cranberry jello around 9:30-10am this morning.

Hope you found it. If you ever looking for something else. I wouldn’t mind helping you find it…….😉

Older Retired Gentleman (Richmond)

You are an older retired man. We met a years ago and I would come to your place from time to time to share stories about your life experiences and mine. This is John and your name was Wayne. You were in your 60s and I am in my late 40s. Would like to reconnect if you see this.

I commented on your beard, that kid was loud

We were in the same place this afternoon, I guess around 3 pm or so. You had short hair, sort of military looking, and I commented on your beard. It was trimmed nicely. You had a tattoo on your right arm. A side note, That kid was so loud. Reply back.

looking for Mary (roa)

we had green tea at starbucks, I miss you and want to see you again. please get back to me.

WaWa employee “It’s not my fault” (Western Branch)

Wondering what happened to you. I haven’t seen you around lately. I hope you are doing okay. I hope I didnt creep you out or scare you away. I only mean well.

Saturday Night Texas Roadhouse (Fredericksburg)

Jane at the bar out of all the waitresses you are the prettiest. Wish I could have talked to you more. Let me know if you’d like to chat sometime.

Cheeseburger bite girl at 7-11 (Norfolk sewells pt)

Last night after 11 PM. You changed your mind about getting a cheeseburger bite. We chatted for a bit about our respective jobs. You worked as a coat check attendant. I thought we vibed pretty well, but I was too shy to get your name and number. If I was right and we clicked hmu. I’d love to chat.

Wondering eyes (Salem)

Her eyes seems like she is missing & craving more !

Trade wife’s panties

Looking for married guy to trade wife’s panties with

Jimmy (Richmond)

Looking for an old friend. You should be in your late 50s by now

Food lion Peter’s creek (Roanoke)

Tattooed cashier girl…

New cashier, black, big t!ts(rookie)…

I’d like to —- either

Best Of VA Missed Connections November 27 – December 3

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This week’s Missed Connections is all about the river hangs — and I gotta tell y’all, it seems like a bit late to me. I know this is a southern city, and it stays warm pretty deep into the fall, but nonetheless, post-Thanksgiving seems a bit late for a barefoot day at the river. And yet here we are — not only is some guy running around with no shoes at the James in the final days of November, but someone else is getting ready to full-on canonize the guy… or at least his feet. Stay weird, Richmond.

That’s not all we’ve got for you this week — no no, not by a long shot! Too often when someone in MCs is talking about “trees” you know they’re just trying to score some weed, but this week we’ve got a couple of actual plant nerds fluent in Latin species classification names making a connection at the greenhouse. How can you not love that? Meanwhile, usually when someone talks about a dream cashier, you figure that means they were the cashier of their dreams. But hey, plot twist — all it really means is that they talked about dreams with their cashier. Are we really speaking the same language out here?

Meanwhile, we’ve got proof that Richmond really does appreciate all kinds of people — at least one person this week is trying to track down a panhandler they met. And not just to buy them coffee, either, though it does seem the ideal way to a gas station spanger’s heart.

Finally, there’s not much more depressing in this world than having to take a Lyft to the urgent-care spot… so I guess the real question is: does getting a Missed Connection from your driver make it better or worse?

Get that checked out, Virginia.

Barefoot guy at the river

Would like to wor$hip your feet.

You said my goatee was on point (Richmond)

You are a sexy little blond at the apartments at Hull St Rd and 6th St and you had a friend with you. I could tell you wanted to play with my beard and i would love to let you. Hit me up and tell me your girlfriends name so i know it’s you.

Thinking about that Christian guy

I used to know this guy who was struggling with his feelings for other guys. He had issues with his faith vs his feelings. I was kind of in the same boat. I wonder if he’s still thinking about it. I know I am.

Thinking of you

Seems totally pointless to post here but was thinking of you just now and wanted to reach out. Hope to hear from you. Wishing you the very best as always. I hope you are doing well.

Mr. Bad Timing

Home Depot dream cashier (Ashland)

I told you about a dream I had. I left completely bewildered that I told you about it. You must think Im crazy.

Lumber Store Man (Midlothian)

You were on the phone walking the aisles talking. You passed by several times. You were very cute. You were wearing your blue work uniform with your name on it. Each time you passed I made eye contact. Definitely would like some man fun with you.

7 cats (Chester)

I was talking to you today and you had on a blue straight outta pencils shirt on with black sweatpants. I would love to talk to you more. I was working at a store in Chester and we was having a conversation. You probably won’t see this. But a little about our convo is you was single and guys be wanting you to just jump on it and not anything else. So tell me what store I met you in. Never got your name. You also work with a vendor for the store that’s how you got your cats.

Great Big Greenhouse (Richmond)

Woman in black near the Spathiphyllum and Epipremnum. I believe you had Sansevieria on your flat cart. We coincidentally parked next to each other. Let’s be plant friends.

Kroger – Jeff

You were looking for molasses and we engaged in a brief conversation. I felt there was some chemistry there. I was too nervous to offer my phone number or ask for yours. I highly doubt you will see this ad. But if by some rare twist of fate that you happen to stumble upon this ad and reply, then I’d like to converse further.

But first, please indulge me and provide some identifying information so that I know that you were the guy I spoke to. For instance, what was I wearing? And where did I say I was from? Or tell me something to help me identify you.

Guys looking for women…??? (Everywhere)

Have any of you actually connected with a female???? 

I mean really connected..not just a few x-rated texts or emails???

Getting Coffee, reading a book? Watsons? (West/End, Short Pump)

I was getting coffee in the West End….. You’re the white woman who was reading a book with a big, white “Watsons” in the title. You’re book didn’t look like fluff. Give me a shout if you’re down.

Acura salesman (West broad)

You know you were flirting hard earlier today.. hope you sell me something!!

Early morning ride

Rideshare early in the morning…. you complimented my natural hair. You said you like to go dancing & should show me the city. You cut hair also 

I hoped you’d find a way to get in touch

Lyft passenger to patient first. (Fan)

Your name begins with k. Don’t wanna say more for your privacy. Remember me?

ODC beautiful tatted guy (RVA)

dear diary, 

We met at ODC after 2 AM. You were ridiculously attractive, long hair, good beard, 6’2, had two tatted sleeves but your long shirt was covering them. I got you to come back to my apartment with me & it was amazing EXCEPT I never got any contact info from you 🙁 I think your name was Tristan but my friend said it was John. the fact I’m even writing this is hilarious but you were so handsome.

Mesmerized (Short pump)

I whispered in your ear that I was mesmerized by you. I told you I would be back next Friday to see you. I came, but I had to leave early. You probably dont look at these, but I figuired I would try. If its you just let me know where we saw each other. Hope this works!

missing (Charlottesville)

Missing my lg as of late, I hate that you had to move away to be with your husband. Maybe one day you will be able to confide in him your true desires, instead of sneaking around. Be good Princess maybe fate will bring you back to me

Chatted at Target (Westchester)

Should have asked for your number, beautiful African-American lady in Target the other day that I chatted with.

Starbucks near Carilion (The bridges)

Hey, you were with another talking.. between 12-2 today Saturday 11/30. We made eye contact several times.

When you walked out you saw me in my vehicle. Not sure why you didn’t come to the car instead you went around the corner… interested.. hmu.. tell me something you would know

YMCA (Richmond)

Hey, I know u catch me staring at you all the time when I see u working or working out!! Would love if you are actually into guys lol..

food lion/gym girl (Rocky mount)

Hey Idk if it’s anything to it or if it even could be. Idk who the guy you go to the gym is. I don’t believe it’s your ol man. If I thought I wouldn’t even try this. But if it is my bad. I seen you today I drive the blue f-350. Idk if you see this message me respond tell me what’s up?

Teddy Bear

Any women lose a big ol teddy bear?

Anytime Fitness You’re From MD

We kind of trained together today and agreed to train together tomorrow. You’re visiting from MD. Would like to take you out while you’re here. What did we agree to train together if you’re interested?

Single mom looking for man at Hamilton (Richmond)

We sat next to each other at Hamilton at the Altria on Friday night, the 29th. I was there with my two daughters and you were there alone. I’m guessing you’re in your early to mid-50s. I found you very attractive, and your lack of a ring did not go unnoticed.

older lady lowes black friday (louis)

you said I look like a guy you dated in high school. let’s chat

Sheetz

Saw you in sheetz on rt 10. Wanted to say something but to shy. You had on all black reply with what I was talking about or what I was wearing

Exxon off Chamberland ave (Richmond)

Wondering if you still stand in front of Exxon pan handling . You are a nice looking guy friendly Said your name is Le’Shawn. See this let’s grab some coffee. Later man.

You work at St. Catherine’s (Richmond)

Name starts with an A. I believe I’ve seen you on here before, and we met in person once. I wonder if you would be up for anything given your situation and what I have heard about you

Yesterday at Panera drive-thru

Yesterday around 10:30 am I went to the new Panera in Westchester Commons and used the drive thru. You were a stunningly beautiful red head. You took my breath away. I was in a black SUV and wasn’t alone. If you have any interest, message me. I never do this but what the hell.

7-11 on rt33

We met this morning we chatted for a bit I told you how old I was if you see this and interested get back to me

Most beautiful asian

Saw you at your job laughing and smiling outside I would assume with your co workers. You were wearing a black long dress, Definitely saw a tattoo on the shoulder. Just wanted to let you know you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I’m to shy to talk to you so I really hope you see this

Cute blonde girl in the Watkins nursery dump truck (Midlothian)

You were that cute blonde and I was the guy who got that blue truck moved for you. The least thing you could do is meet me for a drink…..😉

ACAC Thanksgiving day short pump (short pump)

grey hair, glasses, red tee and white shorts with weight training gloves on, on fitness floor in the morning. hope to make a missed connection with you.

Female employee at Publixx yesterday around 1:45pm (Mechanicsville)

I was the older guy, you bagged my groceries. You said you were helping to cook for Thanksgiving, then going to a friend’s to drink. Wish I had let you bring groceries to my car like you offered. Would love to learn more. Hope to hear back if you are interested. Tell me your name so I know it’s you.

Tennis mom (VB)

Looking for the tennis mom that posted earlier looking for a friend. You sent your contact info and your post was taken down. I’m still interested…

Graig (Shockoe Bottom)

Graig, i just have to say you are too cute with your glasses and man bun !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carlos (Chester)

I lost your number! We meant at McD’s on 10 Saturday morning. Please contact me!!!

Dollar General rt1 Sunday night

Cute girl in grey or blue car, I was in a white car.. tell me the make if interested in me….

Best Of VA Missed Connections November 20 – November 26

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It’s the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and everybody’s a little punchy, eagerly awaiting the long weekend and massive amounts of food we’re all gonna scarf down between now and Cyber Monday. So with that in mind, dive into a wild and wooly week of Missed Connections.

In this edition, we’ve got people seeking everything from literal ice queens to literal incels. If you’re in the latter category, I’m sad to report that no end to your involuntary celibacy is on offer… but at least someone might talk to you. We’ve also got an entirely-too-lengthy rant by some edgelord who hates on everyone else’s ads for several paragraphs before finally admitting that he’s really just as sad and lonely as the rest of us.

Before we get to all that, though — everyone tells you to buy a girl a drink, but one of you fine players out here bought a girl a sandwich. I don’t know about her, but I can tell you that if I was still single, that move would DEFINITELY work on me. Meanwhile, you know the first-responder worship has gone too far when people are having spiritual transformations after looking into the eyes of a cop. Blues lives don’t matter THAT much, y’all. Let’s bring it down a notch.

And by the way, that classic cheap cologne by Faberge is spelled Brut. A brute is something else entirely; if you’re wearing that cologne, it might be you.

Have a brutal Thanksgiving, Virginia.

Ice Queen (Tuckahoe)

Looking for an Ice Queen because my air conditioning is broken and stuck at 59°.

you were the psycho who had a street beef with some lady from roanoke (blackstone)

i saw you and havent been able to get you off my mind

RE: (BLACKSTONE) (Goochland)

I was throwing some beef with some lady in roanoke, but i’m not psycho!

Girl in Black Top at Tobacco Company Club (Shockoe Bottom)

I saw you at the Tobacco Company Club on Saturday night, November 16th. You looked amazing in your low cut black top and we smiled at each other as you passed me by while we were both near the bar. Later I saw you on the dance floor and we made eye contact and smiled at each other several times. I should have come over and danced with you but I chickened out. Give me a chance to take you out for a drink. I was the guy wearing the blue shirt, white male, blondish/brown hair. Send me a message if you see this and if this sounds like you.

Fit brunette with very short hair

You probably will never see this but I just wanted to say that you’re beautiful. Incredibly fit, and you obviously have a lot of discipline and drive. You have an amazing body, a beautiful smile that could light up a room, and the short hair is incredibly sexy.

Hopefully you know that all your hard work definitely gets noticed! We see each other 3-4 times a week, and I always look forward to seeing you.

we collaborated on art

hey… you. (female..5’6, size 2-3) and I worked together on some art projects at my studio. I have since lost ALL my contacts, and have deleted FB. .001% of you seeing this, but hell…why do people put messages in a bottle? 🙂

Looking for incel, or similar to interview (Richmond, VA)

Hi, really interested in a talk/ filmed interview with a local incel or similar, can be anonymous with face shrouded. Just need someone to shed light on the community, and would love to hear from somebody in it rather than someone biased. contact me if you’re interested.

BamBam (Elkton)

You know who you are. I can’t find you anywhere. Do you wanna be found?

If so – reach out. There’s so much I want to say. I’m sorry, I miss you and I care about you are a few of the things I really want to get off my chest if you’ll let me.

-A

Pride in our story

It’s a meaningless, empty life when you find you aren’t just lonely, but bored. I need a good man to recover me and hold my hand and write the next part of my life. Help me remember what makes me vibrant again (healthier habits and get in shape)! Far from perfect but I’ll try hard and keep it that way. If you describe yourself to me in more than 2 sentences, I’ll describe me back. Prefer humble and laid back. A man…aka someone who is not with someone else currently. Prefer 40’s, humble, funny, tall, and laid back?

To the Hamilton ensemble girl with the buzzcut (Richmond)

I went for a musical and left with a crush. The whole cast was fantastic, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of you whenever you were on-stage. I hope you have a great time in Richmond and keep killing it in the show!

Dollar General Goddess

A, I miss you, I told you you look like Scarlett Johansson. I know we only played twice at my friends house. You wanted to work it out with him. Any chance I can have your legs up in the air again and ….
If you read this reply with your name in subject

We work together (Farmville)

We work together and flirt quite often when we see each other. You more then I at times, but only because I have a little bit of a school girl crush on you. You are a older white man that so happens to be married. Me I am a somewhat Middle aged white female. It’s getting to the point where the talk is getting old and I’d love to see some action from you. I doubt you will because you are married but damn you’re tempting….!

Driving down Mulberry (Martinsville)

I see you driving that white pick up. Old logo on the side. Ours eyes meet. You know! I know! Is that enough though? For now I guess it will have to be.

I bought some new brute spray today. Just know when I wear it, it’s for you.

Firestone (Roanoke, VA)

You serviced my Honda last week. You were tall and had a full dark beard. I was the brunette staring a hole in you. Would love to take you out to dinner/drinks sometime.

7-11 spark with cop created 180 transformation thank you 🇺🇸💞😇 (Virginia Beach)

Oct 25 I had a chance encounter coming out of 7-eleven on S Independence Blvd 430-ish. We looked at each other and something went right through me. I can’t describe it but it’s very powerful. So much so, that it created an immediate 180 in my life. I grew a lot of faith, patience and value in myself. It was an undeniable soulmate spark a one in a million chance……very rare. Although it was a blessing to feel that spark, it’s also lonely because I don’t want anything less than what I felt.

You’re a tall, handsome, white male Police Officer, dark hair, clean cut, about mid 30’s…..you are a blessing 😇

I’m the red head Irish woman (single), sorry we never got a chance to speak…my friend was in the Ram truck beside you…..much regret not even smiling.

I chose you the moment the spark happened. Every day I wake up, I give thanks and ask for you to be protected. Footprints in the sand is exactly how I’m feeling

If we see each other again I’d like to chat and maybe grab a drink. You’re salt of the earth, I’m transparent and have a set of values that may impress you 💞

Thank you universe
🇺🇸💞😇

Young Female (VIRGINIA BEACH)

You were sitting outside Wawa at Holland and Independence on 11/20 around 1130am, I bought you a sandwich. What type sandwich and what else did I give you?

Saturday Night at Sine (Shockoe Bottom)

I saw you Saturday night at Sine in Richmond. You were a girl who got a table with a few of her friends. We made eye contact as you walked through Sine and then I smiled at you while you were eating — I think I caught you when your mouth was full – lol. Anyway, I thought you were really pretty (you have amazing legs!) but there wasn’t really any way for me to interrupt your group and introduce myself, and my friends were about to leave anyway. If you thought I was cute too, write back and maybe we can get a drink at Sine.

How Batshit Crazy Are You Really? (Stafford)

Ok, so I am bored and wanted to have a little fun, so I decided I would post an ad on craigslist and see what happens. Now this is not going to be your average post. It is going to be a little bit longer than what you might be use to reading so, if you have the attention span of a gold fish this might be a little difficult for you. Also it has come to my attention that we live in a world of overly sensitive pussies that get offended anything and everything, if thats you I highly suggest you stop reading this right now bc I do not want to be blamed for the tears you may want to cry, I seriously give zero fucks. So lets get to it shall we?

We are all human and we all have our primal wants, needs and desires, but WTF is going on here people, I mean guys have you really read the ads you are posting on here. You really think some woman, bored out of her mind, wants to hangout with a complete stranger, that writes a post with zero fucking creativity. Some of your post have less effort then what it would take to reach into your pocket, to pull out your wallet, to pay a prostitute. And ladies before you get all high and mighty you might wanna slow your roll a little because the number of horny housewives actually do consider fucking one of these tools is higher than you would expect. In the last two years I am willing to bet I have been approached by more women with a boyfriend, or a husband than I have ones that are single.

So why did I title this How Bat Shit Crazy Are You Really, well to get your god damn attention for one, and if you have made it this far I suppose it halfway worked. And lets be real you came onto craigslist missing persons section bc you are missing something, my guess is an orgasm that is intense enough to make your legs tingle and twitch. Come people we all know batshit crazy is usually a sign that reflects fun in the sack. Nobody wants a boring old missionary fairy thats why PornHub is the most viewed site on the internet. In all honesty I think it was my curiosity more so than yours that made me title this ad what I did. I wanted to see who would respond, who’s attention I would grab, who’s feelings I might bother a little.

I feel like this ad will probably get flagged before I get any replies but fuck it at least I had a little fun writing it, I mean what else was I gonna do get my chuckles reading the boring as ads of all the guys wanting a find a female to hangout with. Actually I am a little shocked at the amount of male for male ads, what would your wives say you dirty dogs. Hell shes probably the bored horny one that wouldn’t mind getting double dicked down.

What happened to people making real connections, telling the truth to one another, not being afraid of their insecurities, getting a divorce instead of cheating on their spouse. That is kind of asking for a lot when you consider the current state of our society, I mean how many girls still exist that don’t have two baby daddies, are not on some kind of mental health drug, haven’t been to rehab and are on probation, that embrace their inner slut on a daily, love the idea of lingerie and can even fit into a small to a medium, might even already be PornHub, and can actually read this ad this far. We are all bat shit crazy to our own degree, I mean you kind of have to be to make it through the normal day to day, just turning on the news and listening to our leader talk makes me lose complete hope in the education system of this country.

At any rate hope you enjoyed my words but I am sad to say my boredom has been cured now for the moment but do not fear because the day is still young and we might be day drinking together before you know it.

Take it easy everybody lets see how long it takes for this to get flagged.

Top Photo by Stephane YAICH on Unsplash