Welcome to another week of Missed Connections here in the good ol’ Commonwealth, where every now and then we get a pretty strong reminder that our newly cosmopolitan state still has some powerful backwoods DNA lurking just beneath the surface. When you see a pretty girl shopping at Lowes with a gun on her hip, you remember… oh yeah, this is still Virginia, where telling someone you like their truck is a successful flirtation tactic.

Virginia gets weird this week, too, what with all the yearning for May-December romances and subtly pervy comments about new ways of “getting exercise” (we all know what that means). At least in the south, we still get to check out bathing beach beauties in the middle of October. But the cooler air is coming soon — so you better be hitting up JCrew for that new fall collection.

Oh, some of you already have? Well, will wonders never cease.

Stay warm, Virginia.

cigarette defender (Neil Armstrong) (Crystal City)

Yo Rocketman Amish dude. Thank you for saving my cigarettes last weekend. Let me know when you’ll be at the best saloon in Crystal City and I will bring my boys, smokes, and more dollars.

girl at lowes with gun on her hip (Richmond)

You asked the guy I was with if we could help you but he didn’t tell me until after we left . This was lowes on brook road about a week ago . I would have helped you forsure you were dressed to the 9s and very beautiful . When we were at the checkout counter I motioned you needed to put your foot in someone’s rear to get them to work lolz Anyways hope you see this.

Orange bathing suit (Ocean View Beach Park)

I was sitting on the beach by myself listening to music and you walked down the dunes and sat relatively close to me. You are a pretty black woman, when I got up to leave you said” You leaving?” I said yeah and that I had been there for a while. I left and started thinking why I did not talk to you more. I found you to be attractive.

Your May to my December (Sterling)

I miss your energy as much as you miss my experience.

We had some good laughs and made some nice memories.

Let’s do that again.

Home Depot colonial heights (Colonial heights)

Even though it was going to be your exercise for the day, I helped to load a heavy item into your vehicle for you. Let’s find an alternative way to get your exercise in….

J Crew Factory (Willow Lawn)

Behind you at check-out yesterday and got a good vibe. You were purchasing some pants. Tell me who you were with. You have great style.

You -Blond guy, grey shorts,t-shirt

JCrew factory (Queenstown)

I can’t believe I’m doing this but today around noon I was in JCrew. You were working and really cute, helpful and you had really beautiful eyes. I complimented your tattoo. You asked me what I did… do you remember? For some reason I feel compelled to see if you get this. Lastly I checked my receipt and your name is Jessica. My email is actually in your system when I checked out so email me! Or respond to this. I can’t believe I’m doing this. But what the hell.

Saw you in the grocery store this past week (Midlothian)

Great to see you but unfortunately I was not able to speak. Brought back great memories of when we met. Even though I am a lot older dude you were a very therapeutic guy and I remember it well.

Looking for m.abby28 (Short Pump area, Richmond)

I replied to your CL posting a few years back. You replied back-to-back which included your email hidden in the reply. I was really thrilled. I wrote directly to your email and eventually I got a reply. We messaged some then we lost contact. I would love if you saw this posting and messaged me. I am not in Short Pump but within 2 hours driving distance south of Short Pump. You were into various uncommon interests not generally considered common interests. That will make sense to you if that makes sense.

Publix Colonial Heights

You commented about how you liked my truck. Would like to talk more if you’re interested

Steve, I am under the pc desk where are you?

Steve you used to come over and smoke with me, sometimes you were in a hurry and just wanted me to be waiting for you in my spot, under my stand up pc des,k with videos playing. you never stayed long but we always enjoyed hanging out together for a few min when we did. I know I sent texts after telling you how much I enjoyed it and haning out with you. but I didn’t mean anything by it… I just had fun and was looking forward to hanging out and watching videos again thats all. I don’t do that with a lot of people or anything if that is what you were thinking. you were the only one. I don’t know why you quit responding to my texts but I wish we could hang out again like old times just for fun 🙂

Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where sometimes all we need to get through the week without losing our mind is an extra slice of pizza. Reader, I do not have any pizza to share with you this week, but I do have a fine crop of fresh pickings from Craigslist with which to hopefully bring you a smile.

For example, the air is cooling off, and out in the rural parts of VA, the horse people are seeking each other out — which might sound boring until you get to the bit about the tattoo. Then there’s the foot worshipper seeking to commune with girls in flip-flops at Food Lion. Wow, guy, way to put it out there. And of course, we’ve got the person trying to catch back up with someone their girlfriend caught them hitting on. Bro, have you no shame?

One cautionary note, though — playing with your fingerboard might be a fun way to pass the time in a coffee shop, but if you’re just doing it to eavesdrop, I gotta warn you, people know exactly what you’re up to.

Don’t wipe out, Virginia.

Union Market cutie (Richmond)

You have a nice voice and way about you. Good job being attractive 👍

tech deck (Carytown)

you were at the coffee shop with a tech deck. I know you were listening to me and my friends conversation while we were in line next to you. Hope you had a nice day

Sams club colonial heights

You were there with your son
He was saying hello to everyone
I can’t stop thinking about how cute you were
Would love to find out more about you
if you see this send me a message
you were on the water isle

My my (Martinsville)

We kept running into each other all day Saturday, September 25. First breakfast, then multiple times are the speedway. You were wearing a gray shirt and neon hat. I’ve never posted on here but I’m kicking myself for not talking to you. I’ll know it’s really you if you can tell me where we had breakfast and what color shirt I was wearing…

Horse Trainer in Madison, VA (Fredericksburg)

It’s been a few years now, I think this summer was exactly two years.

We spent a lot of time emailing, long lovely emails. Your husband had passed a year or so prior to us talking. We were supposed to meet for a beer or two, and take it from there.

We continued to communicate after that night, you even got a tattoo in your “bikini area” with the nickname you gave me.

You’re a horse trainer and farm hand in Madison, at least you were at the time. We need to grab a beer out near Gordon Road. Fall is here.

Cute blonde at Sheetz (Stuart’s Draft)

I know this is a long shot. But Girl you’re gorgeous! We talked about our enjoyment of extra curricular activities. I like gummys and you like wax. Message me if you see this?!

Cute Boy Kroger 9/25 7pm (Lynchburg)

You : shaved head, tattoo on the back of your arm, I think you were buying beer?

Obviously, we should hang out

When I looked back at you and saw you looking…I thought I was going to melt.

Of course I’m kicking myself for not being forward and asking your name!

Signed,
The girl with tattoos

BAR BAO Looking for DOM/Dawn?? (Arlington)

You walked up to me with 2 of your friends and we got to talking, you were rubbing my hands and arm and then my girlfriend came out and pushed me out the restaurant. you guys had a talk. I wish we had exchanged numbers when I had the chance

Food Lion-Pembroke-VBeach Blvd (virginia beach)

Seen you in Food Lion and you noticed me looking at your feet.
You asked if I like them, I said very much so.
You smiled and said your too cute and moved on.
Even with your mask I can see youre beautiful.
I wish I was able to kneel and kiss them.:-)

Jets Pizza (Princess Anne)

I ordered 2 slices tonight before closing and just now opened my box and saw you gave me 4! Just wanted to say thanks, that was a nice gesture after a bad last week so thanks so much!

Photo by Anna Kaminova on Unsplash

Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where… I gotta say, y’all crack me up. I mean, from people assuming casual eye contact across a busy street was imbued with deep meaning to dudes saying they didn’t approach women in person because they were afraid it would seem creepy, then immediately follow that up with a request for a “discreet encounter,” Craigslist this week seems to be full of people who have no idea how they’re coming off.

But then, isn’t that always the way this works? The ones who are most charming seem like they are just trying to be honest. The ones who try to act like suave lovers always seem oily and desperate. And the ones who say crazy things never seem to think they’re anything but totally normal.

This week’s prime examples are the group for military dads (what happens at those meetings? Never mind, I don’t want to know), the lady who seems to want a roommate for dirty reasons, and the gym patron drooling over a fellow lifter’s “awesome armpits.” I mean, to each their own, but… once again, y’all crack me up.

Keep the laughs coming, Virginia.

In your eyes (Lexington)

To the red hair lady with blue eyes who has chickens. You lit me up …. Just talking to you was amazing and being near you well was breathtaking…….I’m holding up my boom box playing IN YOUR EYES!

Perchfest-Dog Owner of Ruby (Tysons)

We sat next to each other for a while at Perchfest. We chatted about our dogs and the Washington Football Team for a bit. You took Ruby for a walk and weren’t back before we had to leave. Wish I had gotten your name (and number haha). You and your friends seem cool. I’m not convinced this will actually work, but worth the shot!

Brunette Milf (Rockville Food Lion)

You were there with your daughter, me with my two kids. I couldn’t help but stare at you. You are amazingly beautiful and clearly must have a pretty awesome personality. We had brief and minimal conversation, but I sure would like to have more.

Jay, this matt from mjs (Norfolk)

I think I put my number in ur phone wrong. Im so sorry.

I followed u outside and asked why u were leaving.

U said cause its was dead and i replied cause its early.

I called u handsome and u complemented me.

Hmu with what u complemented. I wanna meet up!!

Hiking the AT (Markham, VA)

Me: 30-something white male hiking the Appalachian Trail from Trumbo Hollow towards Manassas Gap shelter.
You: beautiful older woman with hiking poles and knee braces down around your ankles

My friend and I were hiking towards the Manassas Gap shelter and we ran into you hiking south towards Trumbo Hollow. We chatted briefly about the heat and sweating. You were very friendly and vivacious and beautiful. I’d love to know who you were and become hiking friends! 🙂

Saw across from Oak Grove park (Chesapeake)

You were a guy (and I’m a guy), and we nodded to each other. It was a super light gesture but idk, I felt like there was something there?? Would love to talk (maybe through Kik or something).

Spencers cashier (Hopkins rd) (Chesterfield)

You got fired and I never seen you again. I drove white box truck after my white pick up broke down and I’d bring you lil gifts couple times a week. Miss seeing you. Let’s get together. Tell me your name in subject line

old business partner

We met at work and became best friends. we did everything together. You were family. Then you made advances i wasnt ready for and wanted something i couldnt give. Things went bad quickly and you left in a bad way. I hated you for years. now i miss the fun times we had, closeness we shared, and all the things we can do now that im ready. if you want to talk, email me. 5050HM

You waved, I nodded (Ben Brenman)

You noticed me noticing you. You waved, I nodded. Made my day. Thanks.

You were part of our small group of dads (Tysons)

You joined us for some dad activities about a year ago but then got swamped with your work.
We mentored a younger former military dad who really appreciated it.
Are you available again?

kroger gas station (Blacksburg)

To the girl with the Mustang filling up with gas at S. Main Kroger on Monday–I juat wanted to thank you for making my day/week brighter.
I wish I would have told you in person but didnt want you to think I was an older creep. If you ever think about a discreet meetup with an older male, Id love to chat. Thanks again.

Looking for Ivana (Lynchburg)

Looking for Ivana that I lost contact with. I have met you in Richmond and Charlottesville as well. Last time I saw you in Lynchburg after lunch we went to your cousins house and I watched World Cup soccer with them. Tell me where you were working at in Charlottesville back then to weed out the spam or where your from. I am older than you and shave my head.

FSU La fitness (ARLINGTON)

Hottie alert! Friday late afternoon workout at the gym My all time top 10 sightings ever. Worked up a sweat pretty fast lifting those heavy weights Awesome muscles, legs, and armpits. Let me know if you ever need a spot! or any thing else.

Food City Radford (Radford)

Friday, mid-afternoon, you got a beer and drank it while you perused the wine. You: handsome face, beautiful well-groomed dark beard, great chest. Me: older person, wandering aimlessly. At one point had to excuse myself past you to grab a bottle. You bought ice and left.

Missing our meet ups (Crystal City)

Several times a year I would come to Crystal City for meetings. We would spend the night together talking, cuddling and just having a good time.
Travel stopped for the past 18 months but I am coming in for a meeting on Sunday staying in Crystal City hotel. If you remember where we met tell me the name of the hotel and something about our meetings. If you are not the woman, 40 years old but are interested let me know. I am a 70 year old.
Fully vaccinated.

Looking forward to reconnecting.

Did you get the notes? (Arlington)

We were both getting gas on Monday morning when we were subjected to an ear-rattling call coming from another’s car. You were the woman with short hair driving a white SUV. I was the guy who joked who about it later inside the store. Maybe we could get a glass of that wine you were buying?

Dave–subguy in Northern VA

my email was corrupted before we could get back together for s & m sessions..I know how much you liked my belt and you wanted a humbling experience…let me know

Papa Johns Delivery Guy (Manassas)

Young guydiryy blonde hair brought my pizza and papadias around 8ish tonight. I enjoyed our small talk about how your weekend had been and how you enjoyed the weather today.

If you see this I would like to chat more with you and get to know you. Email back or share your snapchat.

Missing Junior from donaughty.. (DC)

Hey it’s Tonya. I wanted to let you know that Cassandra has went back to Denver. I’m going to be looking for a roommate at the end of the month..

Photo by Josiah Gascho on Unsplash.

Labor Day has come and gone. Extended unemployment benefits have ended. The Supreme Court killed the eviction moratorium. And COVID numbers are on the rise once again. Depending on your situation, it might just be time to panic.

But for now, let’s escape all that and read the Missed Connections for a bit, shall we? We had to dig pretty deep this week to unearth some gems from the endless sea of “woodworking” puns and requests for “plumbers” to “clear out clogged pipes” and all of the other terrible posts that litter Missed Connections like a Flanders field full of UXO. But we did find a few entertaining tidbits, from dudes who don’t want to hit on someone while they’re with their teenage daughter to people from the hinterlands throwing out names of porn stars, like that’s gonna mean anything to anyone besides your fellow OnlyFans addicts.

Plus, we’ve got married people who ran into each other at a MAGA rally trying to strike up a spark, in case you were wondering about the moral compass of the people you see in the background of Trump speeches on CNN.

Finally, I must say: using a Cadillac to deliver pizza is a bad move. Using a Cadillac that needs regular infusions of oil stop-leak is even worse. Hope the Craigslist market for $500 beaters hasn’t dried up.

Get your motor running (while you can), Virginia.

Asian lady in blue dress at GoodWill (Manassas)

I am an older gentleman with long hair and a long beard (gray) who was not exactly dressed for the occasion. My friend had a last minute appointment along with her teen. I am not one to try and pick up someone with a teenager around. But, for some reason I can’t seem to shake the thought of you. If you would like to be my Queen and let me serve you, it would be nice to hear from you!

Joker (RVA)

Missing my connection with a fun woman – B. I saw (nearly walked into) you shopping with your mom at Famous Footwear in the Ville some time ago. Let’s chat and catch up. It’s been too long. Miss that joker.

Caleb BBQ waiter (Woodbridge)

Hey thanks for the great service you provided. You are very nice and fast at what you do. You told me you were getting 3 days off and go to school at NVCC. You also told my father about the military discount I’d like to chat more about what you are studying and get to know you. If you see this email me back.

Woman at the Trump Rally (Northern VA)

We met at the Trump rally and talked a little. We’re both married but we had a spark …

Your name begins with T, and your Mom is in va beach (Richmond)

A couple of weeks ago I posted, looking for someone to split the cost of a hotel room for a couple of nights. I need to do that again later this week. Just for you to get away from your situation (as I will be doing) for a couple of days. If you’re interested, be in touch!

A.

Looking for my Korra Del Rio (Yorktown)

I want to get to know you.
Where are you?

Walmart last month (colonial height)

I’ve been meaning to write one these even tho you probably won’t see it. You was in Walmart looking for some oil stop leak. You were having some issues with your car. You drove a Cadillac, which you were using for food delivery. We talked about the car for a min. I couldn’t believe your bf was just sitting in the car, and didn’t come to help you out with that. Smh. I remember you being really cute and small with huge breast. I’m just saying. I hope you see this and contact me. I would like to take you out somewhere sometime and talk some more.

Pizza Delivery Looking for Address Last Night (Elizabeth Lake Hampton)

You were looking for an address and I just happend to see you out front looking, wish I hadnt been so preoccupied and would have been more “hospitable” because I really should have been thinking on my feet and invited you in to look for the address and then was kicking myself in the ass all night lol….and then I wanted to order a pizza just to see you again…in fact still want to….if you are still working out there please let me know id love to be your last pizza delivery for the night and have you in for a nightcap/cocktail little fun and big tip ;)~

cute girl at Cpt Toms (Colonial Heights)

I was in there around 7pm on 9/3, and you where working the to go counter.. you had pink color in your hair but no ring… damn you are good looking and I would love to ask you out and get to know you…

I hope you see this… if you do.. plz write me!

Thanks for the guidance on the bike trail (vienna)

Thanks for guiding me back onto the bike trail in Vienna today. Let me know if you might want to do a ride sometime! Tell me something about me, you and the help you gave so I know its you.

Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash