Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where sometimes all we need to get through the week without losing our mind is an extra slice of pizza. Reader, I do not have any pizza to share with you this week, but I do have a fine crop of fresh pickings from Craigslist with which to hopefully bring you a smile.

For example, the air is cooling off, and out in the rural parts of VA, the horse people are seeking each other out — which might sound boring until you get to the bit about the tattoo. Then there’s the foot worshipper seeking to commune with girls in flip-flops at Food Lion. Wow, guy, way to put it out there. And of course, we’ve got the person trying to catch back up with someone their girlfriend caught them hitting on. Bro, have you no shame?

One cautionary note, though — playing with your fingerboard might be a fun way to pass the time in a coffee shop, but if you’re just doing it to eavesdrop, I gotta warn you, people know exactly what you’re up to.

Don’t wipe out, Virginia.

Union Market cutie (Richmond)

You have a nice voice and way about you. Good job being attractive 👍

tech deck (Carytown)

you were at the coffee shop with a tech deck. I know you were listening to me and my friends conversation while we were in line next to you. Hope you had a nice day

Sams club colonial heights

You were there with your son
He was saying hello to everyone
I can’t stop thinking about how cute you were
Would love to find out more about you
if you see this send me a message
you were on the water isle

My my (Martinsville)

We kept running into each other all day Saturday, September 25. First breakfast, then multiple times are the speedway. You were wearing a gray shirt and neon hat. I’ve never posted on here but I’m kicking myself for not talking to you. I’ll know it’s really you if you can tell me where we had breakfast and what color shirt I was wearing…

Horse Trainer in Madison, VA (Fredericksburg)

It’s been a few years now, I think this summer was exactly two years.

We spent a lot of time emailing, long lovely emails. Your husband had passed a year or so prior to us talking. We were supposed to meet for a beer or two, and take it from there.

We continued to communicate after that night, you even got a tattoo in your “bikini area” with the nickname you gave me.

You’re a horse trainer and farm hand in Madison, at least you were at the time. We need to grab a beer out near Gordon Road. Fall is here.

Cute blonde at Sheetz (Stuart’s Draft)

I know this is a long shot. But Girl you’re gorgeous! We talked about our enjoyment of extra curricular activities. I like gummys and you like wax. Message me if you see this?!

Cute Boy Kroger 9/25 7pm (Lynchburg)

You : shaved head, tattoo on the back of your arm, I think you were buying beer?

Obviously, we should hang out

When I looked back at you and saw you looking…I thought I was going to melt.

Of course I’m kicking myself for not being forward and asking your name!

Signed,
The girl with tattoos

BAR BAO Looking for DOM/Dawn?? (Arlington)

You walked up to me with 2 of your friends and we got to talking, you were rubbing my hands and arm and then my girlfriend came out and pushed me out the restaurant. you guys had a talk. I wish we had exchanged numbers when I had the chance

Food Lion-Pembroke-VBeach Blvd (virginia beach)

Seen you in Food Lion and you noticed me looking at your feet.
You asked if I like them, I said very much so.
You smiled and said your too cute and moved on.
Even with your mask I can see youre beautiful.
I wish I was able to kneel and kiss them.:-)

Jets Pizza (Princess Anne)

I ordered 2 slices tonight before closing and just now opened my box and saw you gave me 4! Just wanted to say thanks, that was a nice gesture after a bad last week so thanks so much!

Photo by Anna Kaminova on Unsplash

Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where… I gotta say, y’all crack me up. I mean, from people assuming casual eye contact across a busy street was imbued with deep meaning to dudes saying they didn’t approach women in person because they were afraid it would seem creepy, then immediately follow that up with a request for a “discreet encounter,” Craigslist this week seems to be full of people who have no idea how they’re coming off.

But then, isn’t that always the way this works? The ones who are most charming seem like they are just trying to be honest. The ones who try to act like suave lovers always seem oily and desperate. And the ones who say crazy things never seem to think they’re anything but totally normal.

This week’s prime examples are the group for military dads (what happens at those meetings? Never mind, I don’t want to know), the lady who seems to want a roommate for dirty reasons, and the gym patron drooling over a fellow lifter’s “awesome armpits.” I mean, to each their own, but… once again, y’all crack me up.

Keep the laughs coming, Virginia.

In your eyes (Lexington)

To the red hair lady with blue eyes who has chickens. You lit me up …. Just talking to you was amazing and being near you well was breathtaking…….I’m holding up my boom box playing IN YOUR EYES!

Perchfest-Dog Owner of Ruby (Tysons)

We sat next to each other for a while at Perchfest. We chatted about our dogs and the Washington Football Team for a bit. You took Ruby for a walk and weren’t back before we had to leave. Wish I had gotten your name (and number haha). You and your friends seem cool. I’m not convinced this will actually work, but worth the shot!

Brunette Milf (Rockville Food Lion)

You were there with your daughter, me with my two kids. I couldn’t help but stare at you. You are amazingly beautiful and clearly must have a pretty awesome personality. We had brief and minimal conversation, but I sure would like to have more.

Jay, this matt from mjs (Norfolk)

I think I put my number in ur phone wrong. Im so sorry.

I followed u outside and asked why u were leaving.

U said cause its was dead and i replied cause its early.

I called u handsome and u complemented me.

Hmu with what u complemented. I wanna meet up!!

Hiking the AT (Markham, VA)

Me: 30-something white male hiking the Appalachian Trail from Trumbo Hollow towards Manassas Gap shelter.
You: beautiful older woman with hiking poles and knee braces down around your ankles

My friend and I were hiking towards the Manassas Gap shelter and we ran into you hiking south towards Trumbo Hollow. We chatted briefly about the heat and sweating. You were very friendly and vivacious and beautiful. I’d love to know who you were and become hiking friends! 🙂

Saw across from Oak Grove park (Chesapeake)

You were a guy (and I’m a guy), and we nodded to each other. It was a super light gesture but idk, I felt like there was something there?? Would love to talk (maybe through Kik or something).

Spencers cashier (Hopkins rd) (Chesterfield)

You got fired and I never seen you again. I drove white box truck after my white pick up broke down and I’d bring you lil gifts couple times a week. Miss seeing you. Let’s get together. Tell me your name in subject line

old business partner

We met at work and became best friends. we did everything together. You were family. Then you made advances i wasnt ready for and wanted something i couldnt give. Things went bad quickly and you left in a bad way. I hated you for years. now i miss the fun times we had, closeness we shared, and all the things we can do now that im ready. if you want to talk, email me. 5050HM

You waved, I nodded (Ben Brenman)

You noticed me noticing you. You waved, I nodded. Made my day. Thanks.

You were part of our small group of dads (Tysons)

You joined us for some dad activities about a year ago but then got swamped with your work.
We mentored a younger former military dad who really appreciated it.
Are you available again?

kroger gas station (Blacksburg)

To the girl with the Mustang filling up with gas at S. Main Kroger on Monday–I juat wanted to thank you for making my day/week brighter.
I wish I would have told you in person but didnt want you to think I was an older creep. If you ever think about a discreet meetup with an older male, Id love to chat. Thanks again.

Looking for Ivana (Lynchburg)

Looking for Ivana that I lost contact with. I have met you in Richmond and Charlottesville as well. Last time I saw you in Lynchburg after lunch we went to your cousins house and I watched World Cup soccer with them. Tell me where you were working at in Charlottesville back then to weed out the spam or where your from. I am older than you and shave my head.

FSU La fitness (ARLINGTON)

Hottie alert! Friday late afternoon workout at the gym My all time top 10 sightings ever. Worked up a sweat pretty fast lifting those heavy weights Awesome muscles, legs, and armpits. Let me know if you ever need a spot! or any thing else.

Food City Radford (Radford)

Friday, mid-afternoon, you got a beer and drank it while you perused the wine. You: handsome face, beautiful well-groomed dark beard, great chest. Me: older person, wandering aimlessly. At one point had to excuse myself past you to grab a bottle. You bought ice and left.

Missing our meet ups (Crystal City)

Several times a year I would come to Crystal City for meetings. We would spend the night together talking, cuddling and just having a good time.
Travel stopped for the past 18 months but I am coming in for a meeting on Sunday staying in Crystal City hotel. If you remember where we met tell me the name of the hotel and something about our meetings. If you are not the woman, 40 years old but are interested let me know. I am a 70 year old.
Fully vaccinated.

Looking forward to reconnecting.

Did you get the notes? (Arlington)

We were both getting gas on Monday morning when we were subjected to an ear-rattling call coming from another’s car. You were the woman with short hair driving a white SUV. I was the guy who joked who about it later inside the store. Maybe we could get a glass of that wine you were buying?

Dave–subguy in Northern VA

my email was corrupted before we could get back together for s & m sessions..I know how much you liked my belt and you wanted a humbling experience…let me know

Papa Johns Delivery Guy (Manassas)

Young guydiryy blonde hair brought my pizza and papadias around 8ish tonight. I enjoyed our small talk about how your weekend had been and how you enjoyed the weather today.

If you see this I would like to chat more with you and get to know you. Email back or share your snapchat.

Missing Junior from donaughty.. (DC)

Hey it’s Tonya. I wanted to let you know that Cassandra has went back to Denver. I’m going to be looking for a roommate at the end of the month..

Photo by Josiah Gascho on Unsplash.

Labor Day has come and gone. Extended unemployment benefits have ended. The Supreme Court killed the eviction moratorium. And COVID numbers are on the rise once again. Depending on your situation, it might just be time to panic.

But for now, let’s escape all that and read the Missed Connections for a bit, shall we? We had to dig pretty deep this week to unearth some gems from the endless sea of “woodworking” puns and requests for “plumbers” to “clear out clogged pipes” and all of the other terrible posts that litter Missed Connections like a Flanders field full of UXO. But we did find a few entertaining tidbits, from dudes who don’t want to hit on someone while they’re with their teenage daughter to people from the hinterlands throwing out names of porn stars, like that’s gonna mean anything to anyone besides your fellow OnlyFans addicts.

Plus, we’ve got married people who ran into each other at a MAGA rally trying to strike up a spark, in case you were wondering about the moral compass of the people you see in the background of Trump speeches on CNN.

Finally, I must say: using a Cadillac to deliver pizza is a bad move. Using a Cadillac that needs regular infusions of oil stop-leak is even worse. Hope the Craigslist market for $500 beaters hasn’t dried up.

Get your motor running (while you can), Virginia.

Asian lady in blue dress at GoodWill (Manassas)

I am an older gentleman with long hair and a long beard (gray) who was not exactly dressed for the occasion. My friend had a last minute appointment along with her teen. I am not one to try and pick up someone with a teenager around. But, for some reason I can’t seem to shake the thought of you. If you would like to be my Queen and let me serve you, it would be nice to hear from you!

Joker (RVA)

Missing my connection with a fun woman – B. I saw (nearly walked into) you shopping with your mom at Famous Footwear in the Ville some time ago. Let’s chat and catch up. It’s been too long. Miss that joker.

Caleb BBQ waiter (Woodbridge)

Hey thanks for the great service you provided. You are very nice and fast at what you do. You told me you were getting 3 days off and go to school at NVCC. You also told my father about the military discount I’d like to chat more about what you are studying and get to know you. If you see this email me back.

Woman at the Trump Rally (Northern VA)

We met at the Trump rally and talked a little. We’re both married but we had a spark …

Your name begins with T, and your Mom is in va beach (Richmond)

A couple of weeks ago I posted, looking for someone to split the cost of a hotel room for a couple of nights. I need to do that again later this week. Just for you to get away from your situation (as I will be doing) for a couple of days. If you’re interested, be in touch!

A.

Looking for my Korra Del Rio (Yorktown)

I want to get to know you.
Where are you?

Walmart last month (colonial height)

I’ve been meaning to write one these even tho you probably won’t see it. You was in Walmart looking for some oil stop leak. You were having some issues with your car. You drove a Cadillac, which you were using for food delivery. We talked about the car for a min. I couldn’t believe your bf was just sitting in the car, and didn’t come to help you out with that. Smh. I remember you being really cute and small with huge breast. I’m just saying. I hope you see this and contact me. I would like to take you out somewhere sometime and talk some more.

Pizza Delivery Looking for Address Last Night (Elizabeth Lake Hampton)

You were looking for an address and I just happend to see you out front looking, wish I hadnt been so preoccupied and would have been more “hospitable” because I really should have been thinking on my feet and invited you in to look for the address and then was kicking myself in the ass all night lol….and then I wanted to order a pizza just to see you again…in fact still want to….if you are still working out there please let me know id love to be your last pizza delivery for the night and have you in for a nightcap/cocktail little fun and big tip ;)~

cute girl at Cpt Toms (Colonial Heights)

I was in there around 7pm on 9/3, and you where working the to go counter.. you had pink color in your hair but no ring… damn you are good looking and I would love to ask you out and get to know you…

I hope you see this… if you do.. plz write me!

Thanks for the guidance on the bike trail (vienna)

Thanks for guiding me back onto the bike trail in Vienna today. Let me know if you might want to do a ride sometime! Tell me something about me, you and the help you gave so I know its you.

Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, one of the last ones before the unofficial end of summer, aka Labor Day weekend. We actually had a pretty slim crop of Craigslist gems this week; perhaps it’s because people wanted to take advantage of one of the last weekends of the summer, but if you ask me, there was probably a Craigslist outage at some point over the weekend. I prefer to imagine the Commonwealth’s lonely singles out there making real-life connections, though, so please… don’t shatter my illusion.

Instead, enjoy a whole bunch of lovable weirdos getting freaky in the Missed Connections — most especially the person who thinks they can hide kinky sexual practices by pretending they’re talking about fast food. You may not be fooling anyone, anon, but I will give you points for creativity! We’ve also got escapades on the dance floor, a classic gas-station meet-cute, and people attempting to have a post-COVID summer by making new connections at live events. Personally, I’m deathly afraid of catching the Delta variant, but I am thankfully able to live vicariously through all of you, so keep the Craigslist posts coming!

Oh, and I’m not the one who bought the petrol Mercedes, but I do trawl the Craigslist ads looking for cheap 90s Volkswagens, so that one hit a little close to home.

Keep your engines revving, Virginia.

Magic Carpet Ride (Fan)

DOMinoes looking for SUBway vegetable toppings.

Experienced or curious cat to chat.
Simple and fun

Blonde in a Senior position

We work at the same place, but not under the same supervisors. It’s not a large place to work so I want to be a little vague with this. You are in a Senior position, and we see each other fairly regularly, but not as much as I would like.

You are blonde, average height, I would guess around 30 but I’m not really sure. You’re also very fit, and I’ve tried not to stare but you are beautiful!

You actually just walked by my desk as I’m typing this!

Walking the dogs in your pj’s (King George)

I look so forward to the weekends just to catch a glimpse of you taking the dogs out. You look so delicious in the way those pj pants fit. Your bottom is so sexy and round it drives me wild. If you ever get lonely, I’d love to appreciate that luscious body. Let me know what kind of dogs you have so I know it’s really you. Thanks for reading………

Girl I complimented at wawa on Rosemont rd (Norfolk)

We were both getting gas on the same pump. I was getting ready to leave,and said you look really nice today,really sharp. You smiled,blushed,and thanked me. I told you to have a nice day, you said to do the same. I should’ve asked you for your number,and to go for a ride sometime. If you see this,what was I driving? Hope to hear from you

After Alanis concert (Amphitheatre)

We were almost the last uber rides out, we were the fun couple that wanted you to come to our room, but we didn’t get a chance to invite you. You, a lovely 30-40’s woman with a great smile, were with your girlfriends leaving for your hotel offering to give us a ride. You said “I love you” as you left. We loved that and wanted you to come play with us… interested in a 3’s w us?

Walking near Brand Center (VCU)

To the girl that asked me where the River was I should have told you if you got lost walking to text me . I wasn’t thinking quick enough as I was stunned by your beauty !! Let me know if you think you know who this is

Between the goal posts (Regional)

Hitting the target is my finesse, mate

Girl at Decades (1219 Connecticut Ave NW, Washington, DC 20036)

I was that tall white guy, you were the girl with the long hair in a cheetah print dress.
You complimented me on my dancing, and you were worried about being sweaty.

You went to the top floor, but I had to go find my friends before going up there.
When I tried the line was super long and I couldnt stay around.

I would like to take you out dancing again.

We were seatmates at Ali Wong (Washington DC)

What are the odds we both came solo? Enjoyed our conversation about travels and Korean spa hijinks. I would have suggested trading contact info, but Ali locked our phones and I have a terrible short-term memory. Hope our paths can randomly cross again 🙂

Roman who bought Mercedes gas engine (Littlestown)

I listed a Mercedes 6 cyl gas engine with transmission. “Roman” responded and bought it, but the CL email has expired before we were able to make final arrangements for delivery.\
Please respond and contact me so we can complete this transaction.

Top Photo by Oriol Pascual on Unsplash.

Welcome to Missed Connections, where this week we find a secret underground of adults playing dirty versions of kids’ games… or so it seems (there’s only so much you can say in a Craigslist ad). It seems like it might be taking place at a neighborhood Wawa, which is surprising. The most outrageous thing I ever see at Wawa is a really, really long line for the cashier.

Moving on from that, this week’s Missed Connections hold other delights for us, from thwarted oil changes and idle chatter at the post office to hot security guards and tasty snacks at Sweet Frog. It’s all really cute harmless adult fun… at least until someone wishes you would die of COVID, that is. I don’t think they were talking about me, though.

By the way, confidential message to the guy wondering where the streetwalking sex workers have gone… this is just another element of our vibrant community that gentrification slowly pushes out. I don’t know if too many people are upset about this one, though.

Just sayin, Virginia.

Simon Says (Midlothian)

You came up to me at the Wawa and said Simon Says and asked me to do something for you. At the time, I said no, but might reconsider now that I am behind in points. My friend and I (both bi guys) are playing a game of Simon Says where someone will come up to us and say “Simon Says…and tell us what they would like for us to do.” If we say yes, we receive points based on what it is. If we say no, we take points away. It is totally up to us whether we accept or not. If that was you, hit me back, I need the points.

Sweet brunette at Sweet Frog (Suffolk)

Hey I loaded up a cup at the Sweet Frog and wished you were one of my toppings. If you see this hope to hear from you.

Mustard pants

So yesterday made me think you might be into me too. You are an incredibly beautiful young African American woman that works on the same floor as me. Yesterday you had on yellow ‘mustard’ color pants, heels, and I couldn’t stop looking your way. Funny I swear you posted up in a spot talking to someone so you could see me too, or at least you may have caught me looking and wanted to let me know.

Either way you’re beautiful smile gets my attention every time I’m lucky enough to run into you.

If you know who this is definitely get in touch.

What do you think

Only if you knew how much I hate you PGM.I hope you catch covid or delta and just die.

haha DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN OF DOLLAR TREE NEAR MY OFFICE (VIRGINIA BEACH/CHESAPEAKE BORDER)

It’s Geologist Doug. Hey we lost touch, but I would love to reconnect and rebuild our lost-to-time friendship. We met at/near the Providence Rd/S.Military Hwy Dollar Tree.

Security Guard Saturday (Lynchburg)

You were the security guard Saturday night at an event. A friend was talking to you and joked that you were my type because I like a guy with handcuffs. But actually, I thought you were definitely my type. Not sure if you were interested in me or if my friend was just trying to be funny. Tell me where the event was if you’d like to meet up. I’m semi-local and down to meet up.

You in: LIFTED black Silverado Z71, custom wheels, cargo shell cover (Falmouth area, Stafford)

Saw you Sunday at 7-11 on Rt.17 across from Geico, you were very tall fit HOT military look guy coming out as I came in – I was very cleancut guy in black Tahoe, you were still in parking lot when I came out – saw you again Monday afternoon, passed you at the stop sign where Enon Rd meets Truslow Rd. Would like to explore you and your big truck and show you a few things only a buddy knows.

Ginger guy at VCU Parham Rd

I’d like to say hi to the ginger guy walking his dog in the VCU parking lot behind Pence Jeep on Parham Rd.

where do all the street girls in vb hang out (vb)

does anybody know where the street girls hang out now in vb. miss having fun with them when you needed a piece of tail. the girls are not around ocean view either where have they gone?

Your curves were perfect!

You were so beautiful sitting there drinking your coffee yesterday. Beautiful eyes, long hair, curvy gorgeous body. Silky blue shirt, black skirt. I took a work call, looked at computer for a couple minutes, then you were gone 🙁

We could be chatting now if only I would have silenced that call.

Woman from the grafton post office (Yorktown)

We talked about too much mail. The Tabb library. I gave you some cards. Wanna talk some more?

Jiffy lube tattooed girl on J Clyde (Newport News)

I hope to find you! We talked a bit about your tattoos and you were so beautiful! I wanted to ask for your number but the lady interrupted us and said she couldn’t change your oil because she didn’t have the tool to take off your filter on your Toyota. Please reach out to me if you see this. I would love to get to know you better.

I’ll never stop (Austin)

Loving you. I will until the last day.

That’s all I’ve got to say.

Photo by Tim Evans on Unsplash