It’s another week in the MCU (Missed Connections Universe), and I’m surprised and pleased to report more actual interactions between real people this week than I’ve seen since… well, since the pandemic began. Keep getting vaxxed up, Virginia — it’s nice to experience life after COVID, finally.

If nothing else, it’s giving a whole bunch of people an opportunity to get super weird with it, from borderline-indecipherable rants to strangely spaced perv-outs and invitations to a hotel-room tickle party. Better yet, this week brings us a bird’s-eye view on other people’s drama (which is bound to make you feel a bit better about your own), love among the bizarre tribe of Civil War reenactors, and people trying to use weed to barter their way into a hotel laundry room. For real, y’all?

By the way, to the guy out here acting like bringing up that a woman’s chest constantly distracts him constitutes a compliment — that ain’t it, bro.

Chill the heck out, Virginia.

Saw you at Mill Creek (Semora)

What you said then what you are doing was all it took. Never again from me. Never.

Nicole and the Impromptu Life Story Exchange (Carytown-ish)

Earlier today (Sunday), you caught me on my way out of the store, asking, “are you from Richmond?” An engaging conversation ensued. You got called away for a minute, so I pretended to shop. I wanted to stay and say more than “It was nice meeting you,” but wanted to give you space to finish what you were doing. I exited beneath the awning that matched my shirt.
If you’d like to pick up where we left off, please reply and tell me more about our exchange.

Hunter (Chester Hopewell)

I’m missing my little kit ten and am on a hunt to find her again to see how much she’s grown.

You and I met back when the person als here were more of a thing. It was just a h 0 0 k up, but one that we both enjoyed.

Our age difference was significant, but it was what we were both looking for. I’d pick you up near D up ont and left you s ore. . .while you left me wanting more.

What if,…. (Richmond)

I’m a 51 yr old wm. I placed an ad here about a year ago. You (wf) responded and we met at The Tavern. There was instant chemistry and after a few drinks, conversation and laughs you agreed to follow me home. I want to recreate. Your first name starts with a k. Let me hear from you.

Wayne? (Goochland)

Is your name Wayne? That creep said it was John. You gave me a menthol cigarette that Saturday morning and it seemed that you liked me as much as I liked you, but it was an awkward situation. I told you I was moving and when we left, he said you were staring and smiling and that he gave you my number, but you never called. I have a feeling he lied. I am sure he told you all kinds of stuff that wasn’t true, that’s what he does. No, he wasn’t my bf, he was a predator who charged me cheap rent and expected something more. I have since moved. Been trying to find you for over a month. Please contact me? Can we get to know each other? I never do this.

M4F Target Tues AM (Across Chesterfield mall)

I was just a dad, trying to get a son a shirt to wear for yesterday’s school day for Disney Day. You are STUNNING. I try really hard not to be that guy and gawk…. And really wanted to make eye contact, but, it was difficult. Anyways, if by any chance you see this, message back!

Tickle pal

We used to get a hotel and tickle each other’s brain out. I think he worked at Walmart

Girl w/ blk hair/bangs at Goodwill, Fri eve (6/11) (Millcreek area (?) Goodwill…off of Avon St.)

You had on black Chuck Taylor/Converse sneakers and black shorts and like a white top and you had black hair with really great-looking bangs and you’re so beautiful and you have a really cool aura. I was the tall guy with stubble and like a Nike soccer kinda tshirt and jeans. I really wanted to ask you out but I was reluctant for two reasons: I had a kind of annoying friend following me around the store, not really giving me any breathing room or a moment of silence…and plus it just seemed a little confrontational for me to just go up to you, a stranger, in a store. I might be crazy but I felt like we were both radiating an energy that under different circumstances we both intuit how to just be cool and chill, and you MIGHT have been digging on my look at least a FRACTION of how I was digging on yours. MESSAGE ME! We would be quiet rockstars together. Your eyes were the best. Okay…it was like 6-6:30pm-ish, tonight…Friday night, at the Goodwill down near the Food Lion.

Saw you at the Timberlake WalMart (Timberlake)

It’s been a few years, and I’ve thought about you a lot since then. I saw you going into the Walmart at the same time I was a week or so ago. Saw you again over by the frozen stuff, and then you were at the self checkout next to me. I wanted to say something, but figured you wouldn’t want to talk. But if you see this and do want to reconnect, all you have to do is let me know. I’ve missed you “Fred”.

grow a set

it’s pathetic and sad, but quite entertaining, that all these loser guys post here saying…” i saw you at walmart, you were so hot, if you see this….”…did you ever think to actually talk to the person? gee, what did we do before the internet and phones? you guys are funny as hell, keep ’em coming!!

Angel wings (Virginia Beach)

I took you back to where you were staying at the time in my bosses truck last summer. You invited me in and I came inside but I had to leave to soon. You thought you lost something but it was in your phone case. I thought I had your number but I never found it. The subject is the tattoo on your back. Hit me up so we can get together

Candlewood Suites Sterling

By Walmart.

Me, across the parking lot with all my bags.

You… with a room key to let me into the free laundry there.

It was something like that.

Let’s do it again!

420 holding

Living History (Stephen’s City)

We talked a bit about various guns, history, and other things at the living history Sat. Unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to ask if you for your number.

Let me know which side I was on in your email. Hoping to hear from you soon

Sorry I keep staring (Alexandria)

I know you catch me looking. I’m a breast guy and you’re just very…. Endowed..

I don’t mean any disrespect, especially with our situations. This is why I’m getting it off my chest (punny) here.

I apologize. I try not to. Thanks for never making a deal of it, especially in front of everyone else.

Again, no disrespect meant, I’ll try harder to keep eyes up and from glancing around.

Top Photo by Bianca Jordan on Unsplash.

Welcome to another week of Missed Connections here in Richmond where it is hot as hell and in the year of our lord 2021 some people still don’t know what Belle Isle is called. “Bells Island” is a good guess, I suppose, but your fifth grade teacher is still marking it wrong on your Virginia history quiz.

Not everything about Missed Connections this week is an excuse for grumpiness; hearing about people meeting at Texas Beach on Memorial Day gives me hope for a post-pandemic future in which Richmond is once again the Richmond I always knew. Elsewhere in Virginia, people are playing pool tables at the Moose Lodge, taking the boat out, and uh… hitting on their goddaughter’s friends at bars. So yeah, life is slowly getting back to normal, even in the creepy ways. Yay?

Try to keep it cool this week, Virginia.

Facts! (Arlington, VA)

One of the most fucked up things the universe will ever do to you, is let you meet the right person…at the wrong time

Bells island peach shirt and black shorts (Richmond)

I noticed you noticing me, and the undeniable connection we had. You was wearing a peach tank top and black shorts. I was walking my black and white dog. One of your kids said my dog looks like the dog that chased him. If you see this and want to get to know one another, reply to the ad.

behind you at the wine store (West End)

I enjoyed chatting with you and trying to help in the parking.
Would you like to meet for a drink sometime.
The guy with the jokes and manners.

Texas Beach, Memorial Day, Girl Sunning on a Rock (Richmond)

I know this is a long shot and it is better than no shot at all… You were minding your own business, on a rock, by the river, when I stopped to ask you about your tattoo. We ended up having the nicest chat about both being new to Richmond, about art, and about health insurance (!?!), among other things. I should have asked you to join me for a coffee, but I did not. Here’s me doing that now. Tell me what you tat says – I will know it’s you.

R.

95n red kia (from Stafford)

I saw you singing n grooving to thr music, in a red kia. You had blonde hair rubbing your hands through your hair looking hot n sensuous. I’d really like to meet you.

I am lil older hardcore construction worker, retired military.

What was I driving?

Courtney….. you beat me at pool (STAUNTON)

i scratched on the 8 ball. Staunton Moose Lodge.
You had long hair and a great smile.
Like last year before the virus thing.
You needed a place to live. i offered.
Cannot help thinking about you. bear

Pizza & Donuts (Battlefield)

Whoops, so totally missed at lunch today so hit me up Blonde in Blonde Tesla.

Helped a lady at Walmart (Tidewater walmart)

We helped a lady whose wheelchair broke down. You were gorgeous and so very kind. We exchanged names, waited for the fire dept, and delivered her and her wheelchair to her home… I was too reserved to ask for your number prior to us going our separate ways and was beating myself up on my drive home.

If you see this, please tell me the lady’s name that we helped… Or my last name!

I really hope to hear back from you; I’d really like to talk to you again.

Grandview 6/5 (Grandview)

I’m pretty sure this will not work…but what the hell. M.rg.n.. we meet today at Grandview as you captain the boat through the tricky inlet. Talked briefly and your dog did not kill me. Haha. Would love to meet up again, I will be out tomorrow. Might be a few weekends before I can get back out as I’m only free every other weekend. Suns out buns out!

My Goddaughter’s Friend (Northern VA)

You 22, Blonde long hair at a bar in Fairfax. You’re a friend of my Goddaughter.

You said you and your girlfriends have talked about me but you were too shy to act but wanted to since you have a thing for older men like me, 40s. It was nice being called a DILF by you.

Since I can’t really ask her for your number, I hope you see this so we can work on those kinks, maybe invite one of your girlfriends too you talked about before your friends came in and took you away. I wish I would have asked for your number before we parted ways.

It’d be nice to meet up.

Photo by Zakaria Zayane on Unsplash

We’re through the long Memorial Day weekend, and that means summer has come… right? That’s what I’ve gotten used to here in Virginia, but from the evidence outside my window, it’s still the last dreary days of late spring. But while you’re waiting for the hot sunny days that are no doubt just around the corner, why not enjoy some Missed Connections?

Let me tell you, things are kinda crazy this week. Over in Staunton, people are talking about teleportation like it’s a real thing. Down in Portsmouth, people with bike racks on their cars are acting like serial killers. Out in Salem, people are spilling the tea about unusual intimate encounters. And down in Hampton, dudes are putting people’s names and identifying info out there like they’re Drake or some shit. I don’t usually censor or alter these ads in any way, but you’re gonna have to click through on that one if you want the real details.

One more thing I’ve been noticing on Missed Connections lately: y’all have been throwing around a lot of loose talk about trans girls you’re trying to get with. As a real live trans girl, I can tell you firsthand that the kind of lingo y’all use makes you seem like you’re just trying to fetishize us, then ditch us — something all of us are way too familiar with. A bit of free advice: you’ll get a lot farther treating us like we’re the same as any other girl. Because we are.

OK, enough of my preaching. Let’s get weird, Virginia.

Teleporting (Staunton)

Anyone know anything about teleporting?
I want to know what I do after teleporting from one place to another. Where would I have teleported from? How do I get back?

FAT ANGELA-YODERS DONUTS

We used to work together. I miss our conversations..and you. I’m happy and I think you are too but there’s a big part of me that wishes I jumped when I had the chance. Some connections are one in a million. I think about you often…you have no clue what you did for me by just being there for me in such a bad time.
Ugh. This makes me feel stupid but I hope you see this and know its me. I feel I missed something big with you.
-“Butterflies”

Trans at Apple Store Lynhaven

I just want you to know I thought you were super hot! We spoke about some products but I was wanting to ask more about you. I havent forgotten your name, and Im pretty sure you knew I was digging you, but I couldnt really hit on you at work. I didnt think thats cool. Anyways long shot but hope to hear back.

Beautiful Asian lady who saved me form the rain (Burke, va)

May 28, 2021 it’s rain very hard I was leaving Safeway on Old Keene Mills Rd you where coming in with A umbrella and you offered to walk me to my car. I excepted your offer we walked to the car and like a dummy I got in and drove away only when I got down the road a bit I realized the opportunity that I was missing I made a U turn and went back to the store, but you were gone in the 5 minute it took me to get back

Girl on a Train (Union Station into VA)

Does anyone do this anymore?

Girl on a train. You got on at Union Station on Friday, heading to Virginia for a long weekend.

I think we had a nice conversation. Is there a nice smile hiding underneath that mask?

I know your name, the city where you live, your destination, and that you like most cheeses…

Tell me my name (you said it multiple times either because you’re well taught that’s how to remember someone’s name or you just do it naturally), something unique you’ve experienced on a train, why it’s inappropriate for you to be writing back, and why it’s not inappropriate for you to be writing back.

Sorry it’s a dreary weekend away for you but enjoy it with friends and family!

Megan (Chester)

I know you read this shit everyday. I sometimes miss the way your throat felt in my hand.

Looking For Kayla (Hampton)

So here is the story. I work at a Taco Bell in the Coliseum area of Hampton, VA. When I was working there, I met the most amazing girl. A 19 year old woman by the name of Kayla J***. I fell for her hard, but I could never bring myself to tell her how I felt. I have never felt like that toward anyone before. I think my feelings for her were real. I thought I would have more time to work up the courage to tell her my feelings, but yesterday she didn’t show up for work and today she didn’t either. I don’t want to claim anything, but I think I messed up on Thursday before she left. I think maybe she had feelings for me too, but I wasn’t sure because she was always talking to this other guy who worked at Taco Bell. I admit I got a little jealous, so I started texting a girl I hadn’t texted in awhile and purposely left the phone screen in view when she went to the employee table to check her phone. Her entire demeanor changed after that and she sounded upset when I said goodbye to her when she clocked out. I may have been imagining it, but I need to find out how she truly feels. If any of you know her, please have her contact me through this ad. Or at seven five seven [REDACTED]. I would so appreciate it. She is dark skinned, has black hair and the prettiest eyes. Her laugh makes me weak. This is my last hope. If this fails…

You followed Me ~ Afton Street (Portsmouth)

You were in a car with a bike on the back.
You kept driving ahead and parking off to the sides, until we passed you, then drive ahead and park again.
It was after 9p and too dark to see you.
It was super creepy.
We made a plan, and ditched you before you could follow us home.

WTF? Like, really What The F***?

Im the real me

I know when we’re thinking of one another at the same time, because I can feel you across space and time. You are me best friend and my soulmate. I miss so many things about us. I don’t know what to do anymore. You are a female.

So Good! Off Apperson in Salem (Roanoke)

We met up one late night. It’s been 5 or 6 years. But it was so good I know we both remember like it was yesterday! Hope you see this..we were both ” dressed” ….you led me up the steps from your garage to upstairs bar area and brick fireplace…you looked so hot in black. We sat on the couch together. I have driven by your house a few times during my general travels and have that erotic hot memory of us together every time! Would love to speak with you again. Your street name is a ” theme name” in the neighborhood your in. Hope to hear back.

Walking w no shirt on (Winchester)

It was Wednesday morning around 9:20 am and you were walking with no shirt on and black shorts close to Golden Corral and Costco. Who are u?

Hit my head at work (Manassas)

I took two hard hits to the head at work yesterday in the cooler and I remembered something today.

Inside the Beltway is filled with transplanted New Yorkers and chances are good you’ll find some family who know the story.

Photo by Jack Finnigan on Unsplash

Welcome to Missed Connections, where finding out that someone’s date is actually their sister is still awkward. That doesn’t mean it can’t turn into a meet-cute, though… not if Craigslist has anything to say about it. You’ll learn plenty about that whole situation if you just read on.

You’ll also get a classic Missed Connection love note complete with plenty of Office references, a music-fan callout from someone with a soft spot for 70s soft-rock classics, tales of knocking over the card machine at Chipotle (we’ve all been there), and more! One thing I must warn you, though: when the choice comes to either walk away or try harder, always keep your common sense foremost in your mind. Anything else and you risk a restraining order.

Be respectful, Virginia.

The girl with the shroom tattoo (S Chesterfield)

Come back already and let me love you.

Sheetz glenside (West end)

Gray hair tall boy. Driving an Audi

I couldn’t stop eying you.

I rolled my windows down so you could say hey…..you didn’t:(

I was the dude in the black car

You tapped me on the shoulder

I’m the guy from Logan’s whose “date” never stopped talking about her x boyfriend. She was actually my sister whom I don’t see very often.
You and your friends were sitting behind me. When she went to the bathroom and you were leaving, you tapped me on the shoulder and told me I could do much better. I’m a bit of an introvert. Between the shock of having you say that to me and how incredibly beautiful you are, I was only able to muster up a “thank you”. I’ve been kicking myself for not asking for your number since I watched you walk out. I thought I was ok with being alone but idk, I guess all it took was that tap on the shoulder to wake me up inside. Hmu if you want to talk.

Mosaic behind bar (River Rd)

You are quite lovely. No need to be so damn feisty but it’s cute. I’m the GrubHub driver. Maybe now you will use GrubHub

bilikens (Fredericksburg)

shot in the dark. you had a balloon. we spoke very briefly about jet skis. i have not game but wanted to ask you out.

Do these songs mean anything 2 U? (Richmond, VA)

“Vincent” by Don McLean
“Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver
“Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi

If these songs have meaning to you or you get them; lets talk.

So True

“One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever have to make is deciding whether to walk away or try harder”

You knocked over the card machine at chipotle

You were in line ahead of me and told me my burrito looked good then you knocked over the card machine and I laughed at you lol

hwy wave (Chesapeake)

we’ve passed each other and have checked each other out a few time while driving from suffolk side of the high rise bridge to exits 290-291.
You waved to me, arm out the window and all.
I’m trying to find you. Hopefully you’re trying to find me too..
if it is you, what color hoodie/sweatshirt were you wearing and what color vehicle ( i have to know its actually you)..

fangirl.tor

The Office – Close enough

Not Jim and Pam but still a lot to reference. Whenever I see you, I think of them. I am sure I am way off the mark here.

I think of you when I’m not at work. When I see you my heart skips a beat. Attempting not to stare and keeping my head down is exhausting. In the off chance you see this and feel the same, you know what to draw.

Photo by Abderrahmane Meftah on Unsplash

Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where it seems people have fewer words than usual available to express their admiration. Is this a sign that the economy is recovering? Did all of us finally get back to work? Considering I’m still typing this in my pajamas at my dining room table, I don’t really think that’s the answer.

Regardless of many entries this week sharing a certain terseness, there is still plenty of fun to be had, from the tale of the flirty bus driver to the bar patron who fell for the waitress who brought him fish tacos. And of course, how could I leave out the gay man who was thinking about trying hetero love for the very first time? It’s a big moment!

If there’s one lesson from this week’s crop of Craigslistery for us all to take away, it’s this: if you arbitrarily hit return instead of letting the computer decide when the next line should start, the result will look like poetry. And that’s always interesting.

Get composing, Virginia.

UTR gal in Fan (fan)

Where are you

Lowe’s West Broad

I was at Lowes West Broad this afternoon and saw the nice looking guy that used to work at the Goodwill store down the street. Didn’t have a chance to speak, but it’s nice to see you’re still around.

Birds (Grocery store)

You motioned me to come over to you. I finally caught up to you in the store and you said replica. I would love to become friends with you .

Baseball player

You look good in your uniform in all the right places, dude. Holla at ya boy

Cute bus driver (York co)

There goes my cute bus driver again. Almost every morning we wave to each other.
You are so cute, I look forward to seeing you each weekday morning as you pass
I know you may never see this but if you do please reply with your bus or route number or the corner I live on

License in body (woodlawn)

Soft blue eyes
short brown hair
blue leggings with white designs
The station north side of 58 that sells alcohol
You picked up some cigs and said u needed
sleep.

Acredale vet parking lot

I just dropped my dog off at the vet this morning. Was it just me, or did the cutie in the car next to me seem to be noticing me while I was noticing him…? 🤔🤔
If so… Maybe he wud want to talk sometime???
Reach out and let me know something about me so i know its you. What was I wearing, what kind of car, what color was my dog…? Whatever you may have noticed. 🙂 hope to hear from you.

Super Shoes Friday (Cburg)

Your child is a light unto the world. Nurture this light.

Blonde Waitress at Harpoon Larry’s (Virginia Beach)

My name’s Elijah and I was here April 29th. I ordered two(2) orders of fish tacos (four tacos total, not two tacos), but what really stood out was you, K. You were so funny and we joked about everything! We had really good chemistry and I was about to give you my number, but I chickened out and I’ve been regretting it ever since. Let’s meet up again sometime!

Redhead woman at The Park Saturday (Roanoke)

You were wearing denim and docs, I’m the guy who had thoughts about being with a woman for the first time. Bf said yes, but your number washed off my hand! Hmu if you’re still interested. I’m nervous and awkward but excited to try!

Girl at Safeway w4w

To the girl who commented on my hair today outside norbeck Safeway and said it looked nice, wanted to ask if you date ladies. Sorry I’m an awk hotmess but thought you were pretty cute. If you are, then reply what my hair style was. Down to talk/hang sometime.

Dominoes Delivery Guy (Manassas)

On Friday you arrived with two steaming hot pizzas and a sprite. You mentioned the rainbow and how it was going all the way across. You drove a black Toyota I think and you were tall.

If you see this I’d like to talk to you more about the rainbow or any other things that you find interesting.

Photo by Alexander Schimmeck on Unsplash