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Best Of VA Missed Connections December 4 – December 10

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Christmas is coming, and tensions are running high — especially in this week’s Missed Connections. If you’ve got a camera and a talent for portraits, commissions for naughty holiday pictures are just a Craigslist ad away. You know you wanna — just think about all those Christmas gifts one photoshoot could pay for.

There’s plenty more on offer this week as well, from Deadheads with Facebook groups to guys attempting to lure you in by comparing themselves to Kelsey Grammer’s Frasier character. And if you’ve already broken out your favorite Christmas sweater a few times this month, someone just might be looking for you!

Meanwhile, at least one Acura salesman’s sales pitches are working better than he ever expected. And once again, Missed Connections proves that the cliche about guys loving women in workout clothes is still true decades after the heyday of Jane Fonda’s Workout.

Let’s get physical, Virginia.

Provocative Photographer (Richmond)

So.. not really sure this would go, but I am looking for someone with photography skills that would be willing to take some provocative “christmas pictures.” For example, me in long johns with a glass of wine in front of a xmas tree. Looking for a semi-talented person who has a real camera, photoshop, etc. Not some guy with an iPhone 5. I am an attractive, fit, white guy in his late 20’s. Curious to see if this might work out. Please send your stats too so I have an idea of who I am talking to. Thanks!

Home Alone (Carytown)

Looking for woman to come over and watch Home Alone. Handsome, hung, mid-30s, white male. 🙂

Tatted mom at Walmart (Richmond)

Looking for the chick I chatted with at Walmart on friday… Thick with some dope ink and some baby blues…had your son with you him and my daughter had a funny chat with eachother…you complimented my hand tattoo.Tell me what I said about the tattoo on your chest so I know its you…Really hope you see this.

Beautiful Feet (RVA)

This is for the ladies only:

I’m hoping to find someone with nice feet who’d enjoy making me pamper them on a regular basis. I will definitely make it worth your while. I’m sane, very fit, and attractive if that matters.

Thanks!

Need pillows (Richmond)

Looking for so nice BIG soft pillows to rest my head on or in. I like older, broken in and used pillows. If anyone has any that she wants to contribute then let me know

He doesn’t listen to you? (Everywhere)

I will

Remember Dr. Crane from Cheers? His tag line from his radio call-in program…”I’m listening”.

Does your husband/boyfriend/main squeeze just not listen to you? Is he too wrapped up in sports/golf/hunting/drinking beer to talk to you…to listen to you…listen to the things you’re interested in???

Well..I’ll listen. I’m not a psychiatrist, psychologist, or sociologist…no letters after my name. Just a mature gentleman (well..at least I think I am), retired technical professional that’s been around the block a few times, been kicked in the head by life a few times.

I know how frustrating it can be when someone just doesn’t listen…or care to.

So…talk to me…tell me what bugs you…I promise a sympathetic ear.

This is no come-on…I don’t need to know your name, we’ll probably never meet, I won’t share what you tell me with anyone.

I’m listening!!!!

Manscaping (Shortpump)

I used to trip a straight guy and miss it!

Downtown server named Logan (The Burg)

Last time I was in having lunch and you served me it looked like you were suffering from an extreme lack of a vitamin D. I know the holidays probably are keeping you busy buying gifts so if you want to come by I have a huge supply of it I can give you.

reindeer sweater (Jax Ward)

Christmas party. You had on a great reindeer sweater. Similar stats between us except for age. Discreet here.

Looking for Pam from the DSO Concert (Richmond)

I met the most fascinating woman at the DSO concert at the National. We spent half of the show together and her name is Pam but I foolishly didn’t get her contact information. 

Pam, if you see this please reach out to me or perhaps join the Facebook group Ramble On RVA. I’m fairly easy to find there, or I am usually at Friday happy hour at Cary St. Cafe. I really hope to see you again.

Acura salesman (West broad)

You know you were flirting hard earlier today.. hope you sell me something!!

Tractor Supply (Powhatan)

Saw you buying dog food we had mutual man to man eye contact. Got a vibe from you. Thought you were handsome.

Mr. Submarine Cook on Jefferson Davis (Richmond)

You are a Dominican girl?
I’m an Asian male
I ordered a corned beef sub/fries today
I don’t apologize for eye f*cking you
Hit me up

Looking for the Female Marine

Since most men are morons I’ve changed the title of the post. I am a guy posting about a woman!

We’ve literally almost ran into each other twice. We see each other around work every now and then and I always get a smile from you. I believe you may have recently dyed your hair lighter, but it’s hard to tell since you always have it up in uniform.

If you see this get in touch. I get the feeling that this a mutual interest.

Ridgefield YMCA (Ridgefield)

You’re a white woman who works at the Y; it was about noon when I checked in, started to walk back, and that’s where I met you, and we had a brief conversation. Your hair was pulled back into a tight bun. When I was in the gym, I could help but try and watch you as you sanitized the equipment. I tried to find you on the way out so I could catch a glimpse at your name tag, and say goodbye, but no luck. I don’t care about your home situation…. I’m just really hoping you see this!

Girl with black hair in double bun with gray shirt and wind breakers (Hopewell food lion)

You were shopping around 1230 Saturday. I’d like to get to get to know you. I was going to approach but you were with someone and didn’t want it to be awkward. Send me a pic so I know it’s you

Tatted blonde at onelife (Chesapeake)

Saw you this morning, I think we were hitting the exact same circuit pretty much. We worked out next to each other a few times. Tell me what I was wearing would love to have a workout body.

Handsome Driver (Oilville)

You caught my attention on the road. Mighty handsome in that big truck and bright orange work shirt. You had me thinking about you.

Central Park (Fredericksburg)

You held the door open for me and winked at me. You are one sexy guy. You’ll remember me if you see this post. ABC Store at around 2:30pm today. You were the third guy in the truck

Food Lion Portsmouth, Handsome White Guy with Long Pony Tail (Portsmouth)

You were working tonight at the registers, Portsmouth Food Lion High St. You are a very good looking white guy with a long pony tail. Stop by my place after work for a relaxing foot massage, etc. I live in Port Norfolk Portsmouth.

Dear John

When I’m with you I feel free. Like I’m flying, metaphorically. Physically, I feel agile and spry. I feel that at any moment I could kiss you and you would be ok with it. You my invite it. Though, this is only speculation for I cannot read your thoughts and as always, your cards held tight to your chest.

I love my wife. This is an understatement. More decorative language would only result in the same solid fact. I love who she is, I love who she pushes me to be. I cannot profess this enough. There is nothing that could come between us aside from my foolish wrongdoings. I am wild about my wife. She is how I define sexy. She is how I define woman. It is foolish of me to assume that you would invite an advance. Almost as foolish it is to think that I will ever make one. So our relationship would be doomed to sway in this precarious position until you, bored of my state, find entertainment elsewhere.

I’m so sorry to assume things of you

I’m so sorry to lead you on into thinking that we had a strictly platonic relationship while I secretly pined for you.

It is healthy for no one to continue this way.

Though, I would like to stay in touch the only way I can. Perhaps selfishly, but I don’t want to be forgotten by you. Bleep blurp bloop

Hot Dad In Southpoint Walmart

You were looking for cranberry jello around 9:30-10am this morning.

Hope you found it. If you ever looking for something else. I wouldn’t mind helping you find it…….😉

Older Retired Gentleman (Richmond)

You are an older retired man. We met a years ago and I would come to your place from time to time to share stories about your life experiences and mine. This is John and your name was Wayne. You were in your 60s and I am in my late 40s. Would like to reconnect if you see this.

I commented on your beard, that kid was loud

We were in the same place this afternoon, I guess around 3 pm or so. You had short hair, sort of military looking, and I commented on your beard. It was trimmed nicely. You had a tattoo on your right arm. A side note, That kid was so loud. Reply back.

looking for Mary (roa)

we had green tea at starbucks, I miss you and want to see you again. please get back to me.

WaWa employee “It’s not my fault” (Western Branch)

Wondering what happened to you. I haven’t seen you around lately. I hope you are doing okay. I hope I didnt creep you out or scare you away. I only mean well.

Saturday Night Texas Roadhouse (Fredericksburg)

Jane at the bar out of all the waitresses you are the prettiest. Wish I could have talked to you more. Let me know if you’d like to chat sometime.

Cheeseburger bite girl at 7-11 (Norfolk sewells pt)

Last night after 11 PM. You changed your mind about getting a cheeseburger bite. We chatted for a bit about our respective jobs. You worked as a coat check attendant. I thought we vibed pretty well, but I was too shy to get your name and number. If I was right and we clicked hmu. I’d love to chat.

Wondering eyes (Salem)

Her eyes seems like she is missing & craving more !

Trade wife’s panties

Looking for married guy to trade wife’s panties with

Jimmy (Richmond)

Looking for an old friend. You should be in your late 50s by now

Food lion Peter’s creek (Roanoke)

Tattooed cashier girl…

New cashier, black, big t!ts(rookie)…

I’d like to —- either

Best Of VA Missed Connections November 27 – December 3

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This week’s Missed Connections is all about the river hangs — and I gotta tell y’all, it seems like a bit late to me. I know this is a southern city, and it stays warm pretty deep into the fall, but nonetheless, post-Thanksgiving seems a bit late for a barefoot day at the river. And yet here we are — not only is some guy running around with no shoes at the James in the final days of November, but someone else is getting ready to full-on canonize the guy… or at least his feet. Stay weird, Richmond.

That’s not all we’ve got for you this week — no no, not by a long shot! Too often when someone in MCs is talking about “trees” you know they’re just trying to score some weed, but this week we’ve got a couple of actual plant nerds fluent in Latin species classification names making a connection at the greenhouse. How can you not love that? Meanwhile, usually when someone talks about a dream cashier, you figure that means they were the cashier of their dreams. But hey, plot twist — all it really means is that they talked about dreams with their cashier. Are we really speaking the same language out here?

Meanwhile, we’ve got proof that Richmond really does appreciate all kinds of people — at least one person this week is trying to track down a panhandler they met. And not just to buy them coffee, either, though it does seem the ideal way to a gas station spanger’s heart.

Finally, there’s not much more depressing in this world than having to take a Lyft to the urgent-care spot… so I guess the real question is: does getting a Missed Connection from your driver make it better or worse?

Get that checked out, Virginia.

Barefoot guy at the river

Would like to wor$hip your feet.

You said my goatee was on point (Richmond)

You are a sexy little blond at the apartments at Hull St Rd and 6th St and you had a friend with you. I could tell you wanted to play with my beard and i would love to let you. Hit me up and tell me your girlfriends name so i know it’s you.

Thinking about that Christian guy

I used to know this guy who was struggling with his feelings for other guys. He had issues with his faith vs his feelings. I was kind of in the same boat. I wonder if he’s still thinking about it. I know I am.

Thinking of you

Seems totally pointless to post here but was thinking of you just now and wanted to reach out. Hope to hear from you. Wishing you the very best as always. I hope you are doing well.

Mr. Bad Timing

Home Depot dream cashier (Ashland)

I told you about a dream I had. I left completely bewildered that I told you about it. You must think Im crazy.

Lumber Store Man (Midlothian)

You were on the phone walking the aisles talking. You passed by several times. You were very cute. You were wearing your blue work uniform with your name on it. Each time you passed I made eye contact. Definitely would like some man fun with you.

7 cats (Chester)

I was talking to you today and you had on a blue straight outta pencils shirt on with black sweatpants. I would love to talk to you more. I was working at a store in Chester and we was having a conversation. You probably won’t see this. But a little about our convo is you was single and guys be wanting you to just jump on it and not anything else. So tell me what store I met you in. Never got your name. You also work with a vendor for the store that’s how you got your cats.

Great Big Greenhouse (Richmond)

Woman in black near the Spathiphyllum and Epipremnum. I believe you had Sansevieria on your flat cart. We coincidentally parked next to each other. Let’s be plant friends.

Kroger – Jeff

You were looking for molasses and we engaged in a brief conversation. I felt there was some chemistry there. I was too nervous to offer my phone number or ask for yours. I highly doubt you will see this ad. But if by some rare twist of fate that you happen to stumble upon this ad and reply, then I’d like to converse further.

But first, please indulge me and provide some identifying information so that I know that you were the guy I spoke to. For instance, what was I wearing? And where did I say I was from? Or tell me something to help me identify you.

Guys looking for women…??? (Everywhere)

Have any of you actually connected with a female???? 

I mean really connected..not just a few x-rated texts or emails???

Getting Coffee, reading a book? Watsons? (West/End, Short Pump)

I was getting coffee in the West End….. You’re the white woman who was reading a book with a big, white “Watsons” in the title. You’re book didn’t look like fluff. Give me a shout if you’re down.

Acura salesman (West broad)

You know you were flirting hard earlier today.. hope you sell me something!!

Early morning ride

Rideshare early in the morning…. you complimented my natural hair. You said you like to go dancing & should show me the city. You cut hair also 

I hoped you’d find a way to get in touch

Lyft passenger to patient first. (Fan)

Your name begins with k. Don’t wanna say more for your privacy. Remember me?

ODC beautiful tatted guy (RVA)

dear diary, 

We met at ODC after 2 AM. You were ridiculously attractive, long hair, good beard, 6’2, had two tatted sleeves but your long shirt was covering them. I got you to come back to my apartment with me & it was amazing EXCEPT I never got any contact info from you 🙁 I think your name was Tristan but my friend said it was John. the fact I’m even writing this is hilarious but you were so handsome.

Mesmerized (Short pump)

I whispered in your ear that I was mesmerized by you. I told you I would be back next Friday to see you. I came, but I had to leave early. You probably dont look at these, but I figuired I would try. If its you just let me know where we saw each other. Hope this works!

missing (Charlottesville)

Missing my lg as of late, I hate that you had to move away to be with your husband. Maybe one day you will be able to confide in him your true desires, instead of sneaking around. Be good Princess maybe fate will bring you back to me

Chatted at Target (Westchester)

Should have asked for your number, beautiful African-American lady in Target the other day that I chatted with.

Starbucks near Carilion (The bridges)

Hey, you were with another talking.. between 12-2 today Saturday 11/30. We made eye contact several times.

When you walked out you saw me in my vehicle. Not sure why you didn’t come to the car instead you went around the corner… interested.. hmu.. tell me something you would know

YMCA (Richmond)

Hey, I know u catch me staring at you all the time when I see u working or working out!! Would love if you are actually into guys lol..

food lion/gym girl (Rocky mount)

Hey Idk if it’s anything to it or if it even could be. Idk who the guy you go to the gym is. I don’t believe it’s your ol man. If I thought I wouldn’t even try this. But if it is my bad. I seen you today I drive the blue f-350. Idk if you see this message me respond tell me what’s up?

Teddy Bear

Any women lose a big ol teddy bear?

Anytime Fitness You’re From MD

We kind of trained together today and agreed to train together tomorrow. You’re visiting from MD. Would like to take you out while you’re here. What did we agree to train together if you’re interested?

Single mom looking for man at Hamilton (Richmond)

We sat next to each other at Hamilton at the Altria on Friday night, the 29th. I was there with my two daughters and you were there alone. I’m guessing you’re in your early to mid-50s. I found you very attractive, and your lack of a ring did not go unnoticed.

older lady lowes black friday (louis)

you said I look like a guy you dated in high school. let’s chat

Sheetz

Saw you in sheetz on rt 10. Wanted to say something but to shy. You had on all black reply with what I was talking about or what I was wearing

Exxon off Chamberland ave (Richmond)

Wondering if you still stand in front of Exxon pan handling . You are a nice looking guy friendly Said your name is Le’Shawn. See this let’s grab some coffee. Later man.

You work at St. Catherine’s (Richmond)

Name starts with an A. I believe I’ve seen you on here before, and we met in person once. I wonder if you would be up for anything given your situation and what I have heard about you

Yesterday at Panera drive-thru

Yesterday around 10:30 am I went to the new Panera in Westchester Commons and used the drive thru. You were a stunningly beautiful red head. You took my breath away. I was in a black SUV and wasn’t alone. If you have any interest, message me. I never do this but what the hell.

7-11 on rt33

We met this morning we chatted for a bit I told you how old I was if you see this and interested get back to me

Most beautiful asian

Saw you at your job laughing and smiling outside I would assume with your co workers. You were wearing a black long dress, Definitely saw a tattoo on the shoulder. Just wanted to let you know you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I’m to shy to talk to you so I really hope you see this

Cute blonde girl in the Watkins nursery dump truck (Midlothian)

You were that cute blonde and I was the guy who got that blue truck moved for you. The least thing you could do is meet me for a drink…..😉

ACAC Thanksgiving day short pump (short pump)

grey hair, glasses, red tee and white shorts with weight training gloves on, on fitness floor in the morning. hope to make a missed connection with you.

Female employee at Publixx yesterday around 1:45pm (Mechanicsville)

I was the older guy, you bagged my groceries. You said you were helping to cook for Thanksgiving, then going to a friend’s to drink. Wish I had let you bring groceries to my car like you offered. Would love to learn more. Hope to hear back if you are interested. Tell me your name so I know it’s you.

Tennis mom (VB)

Looking for the tennis mom that posted earlier looking for a friend. You sent your contact info and your post was taken down. I’m still interested…

Graig (Shockoe Bottom)

Graig, i just have to say you are too cute with your glasses and man bun !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carlos (Chester)

I lost your number! We meant at McD’s on 10 Saturday morning. Please contact me!!!

Dollar General rt1 Sunday night

Cute girl in grey or blue car, I was in a white car.. tell me the make if interested in me….

Best Of VA Missed Connections November 20 – November 26

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It’s the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and everybody’s a little punchy, eagerly awaiting the long weekend and massive amounts of food we’re all gonna scarf down between now and Cyber Monday. So with that in mind, dive into a wild and wooly week of Missed Connections.

In this edition, we’ve got people seeking everything from literal ice queens to literal incels. If you’re in the latter category, I’m sad to report that no end to your involuntary celibacy is on offer… but at least someone might talk to you. We’ve also got an entirely-too-lengthy rant by some edgelord who hates on everyone else’s ads for several paragraphs before finally admitting that he’s really just as sad and lonely as the rest of us.

Before we get to all that, though — everyone tells you to buy a girl a drink, but one of you fine players out here bought a girl a sandwich. I don’t know about her, but I can tell you that if I was still single, that move would DEFINITELY work on me. Meanwhile, you know the first-responder worship has gone too far when people are having spiritual transformations after looking into the eyes of a cop. Blues lives don’t matter THAT much, y’all. Let’s bring it down a notch.

And by the way, that classic cheap cologne by Faberge is spelled Brut. A brute is something else entirely; if you’re wearing that cologne, it might be you.

Have a brutal Thanksgiving, Virginia.

Ice Queen (Tuckahoe)

Looking for an Ice Queen because my air conditioning is broken and stuck at 59°.

you were the psycho who had a street beef with some lady from roanoke (blackstone)

i saw you and havent been able to get you off my mind

RE: (BLACKSTONE) (Goochland)

I was throwing some beef with some lady in roanoke, but i’m not psycho!

Girl in Black Top at Tobacco Company Club (Shockoe Bottom)

I saw you at the Tobacco Company Club on Saturday night, November 16th. You looked amazing in your low cut black top and we smiled at each other as you passed me by while we were both near the bar. Later I saw you on the dance floor and we made eye contact and smiled at each other several times. I should have come over and danced with you but I chickened out. Give me a chance to take you out for a drink. I was the guy wearing the blue shirt, white male, blondish/brown hair. Send me a message if you see this and if this sounds like you.

Fit brunette with very short hair

You probably will never see this but I just wanted to say that you’re beautiful. Incredibly fit, and you obviously have a lot of discipline and drive. You have an amazing body, a beautiful smile that could light up a room, and the short hair is incredibly sexy.

Hopefully you know that all your hard work definitely gets noticed! We see each other 3-4 times a week, and I always look forward to seeing you.

we collaborated on art

hey… you. (female..5’6, size 2-3) and I worked together on some art projects at my studio. I have since lost ALL my contacts, and have deleted FB. .001% of you seeing this, but hell…why do people put messages in a bottle? 🙂

Looking for incel, or similar to interview (Richmond, VA)

Hi, really interested in a talk/ filmed interview with a local incel or similar, can be anonymous with face shrouded. Just need someone to shed light on the community, and would love to hear from somebody in it rather than someone biased. contact me if you’re interested.

BamBam (Elkton)

You know who you are. I can’t find you anywhere. Do you wanna be found?

If so – reach out. There’s so much I want to say. I’m sorry, I miss you and I care about you are a few of the things I really want to get off my chest if you’ll let me.

-A

Pride in our story

It’s a meaningless, empty life when you find you aren’t just lonely, but bored. I need a good man to recover me and hold my hand and write the next part of my life. Help me remember what makes me vibrant again (healthier habits and get in shape)! Far from perfect but I’ll try hard and keep it that way. If you describe yourself to me in more than 2 sentences, I’ll describe me back. Prefer humble and laid back. A man…aka someone who is not with someone else currently. Prefer 40’s, humble, funny, tall, and laid back?

To the Hamilton ensemble girl with the buzzcut (Richmond)

I went for a musical and left with a crush. The whole cast was fantastic, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of you whenever you were on-stage. I hope you have a great time in Richmond and keep killing it in the show!

Dollar General Goddess

A, I miss you, I told you you look like Scarlett Johansson. I know we only played twice at my friends house. You wanted to work it out with him. Any chance I can have your legs up in the air again and ….
If you read this reply with your name in subject

We work together (Farmville)

We work together and flirt quite often when we see each other. You more then I at times, but only because I have a little bit of a school girl crush on you. You are a older white man that so happens to be married. Me I am a somewhat Middle aged white female. It’s getting to the point where the talk is getting old and I’d love to see some action from you. I doubt you will because you are married but damn you’re tempting….!

Driving down Mulberry (Martinsville)

I see you driving that white pick up. Old logo on the side. Ours eyes meet. You know! I know! Is that enough though? For now I guess it will have to be.

I bought some new brute spray today. Just know when I wear it, it’s for you.

Firestone (Roanoke, VA)

You serviced my Honda last week. You were tall and had a full dark beard. I was the brunette staring a hole in you. Would love to take you out to dinner/drinks sometime.

7-11 spark with cop created 180 transformation thank you 🇺🇸💞😇 (Virginia Beach)

Oct 25 I had a chance encounter coming out of 7-eleven on S Independence Blvd 430-ish. We looked at each other and something went right through me. I can’t describe it but it’s very powerful. So much so, that it created an immediate 180 in my life. I grew a lot of faith, patience and value in myself. It was an undeniable soulmate spark a one in a million chance……very rare. Although it was a blessing to feel that spark, it’s also lonely because I don’t want anything less than what I felt.

You’re a tall, handsome, white male Police Officer, dark hair, clean cut, about mid 30’s…..you are a blessing 😇

I’m the red head Irish woman (single), sorry we never got a chance to speak…my friend was in the Ram truck beside you…..much regret not even smiling.

I chose you the moment the spark happened. Every day I wake up, I give thanks and ask for you to be protected. Footprints in the sand is exactly how I’m feeling

If we see each other again I’d like to chat and maybe grab a drink. You’re salt of the earth, I’m transparent and have a set of values that may impress you 💞

Thank you universe
🇺🇸💞😇

Young Female (VIRGINIA BEACH)

You were sitting outside Wawa at Holland and Independence on 11/20 around 1130am, I bought you a sandwich. What type sandwich and what else did I give you?

Saturday Night at Sine (Shockoe Bottom)

I saw you Saturday night at Sine in Richmond. You were a girl who got a table with a few of her friends. We made eye contact as you walked through Sine and then I smiled at you while you were eating — I think I caught you when your mouth was full – lol. Anyway, I thought you were really pretty (you have amazing legs!) but there wasn’t really any way for me to interrupt your group and introduce myself, and my friends were about to leave anyway. If you thought I was cute too, write back and maybe we can get a drink at Sine.

How Batshit Crazy Are You Really? (Stafford)

Ok, so I am bored and wanted to have a little fun, so I decided I would post an ad on craigslist and see what happens. Now this is not going to be your average post. It is going to be a little bit longer than what you might be use to reading so, if you have the attention span of a gold fish this might be a little difficult for you. Also it has come to my attention that we live in a world of overly sensitive pussies that get offended anything and everything, if thats you I highly suggest you stop reading this right now bc I do not want to be blamed for the tears you may want to cry, I seriously give zero fucks. So lets get to it shall we?

We are all human and we all have our primal wants, needs and desires, but WTF is going on here people, I mean guys have you really read the ads you are posting on here. You really think some woman, bored out of her mind, wants to hangout with a complete stranger, that writes a post with zero fucking creativity. Some of your post have less effort then what it would take to reach into your pocket, to pull out your wallet, to pay a prostitute. And ladies before you get all high and mighty you might wanna slow your roll a little because the number of horny housewives actually do consider fucking one of these tools is higher than you would expect. In the last two years I am willing to bet I have been approached by more women with a boyfriend, or a husband than I have ones that are single.

So why did I title this How Bat Shit Crazy Are You Really, well to get your god damn attention for one, and if you have made it this far I suppose it halfway worked. And lets be real you came onto craigslist missing persons section bc you are missing something, my guess is an orgasm that is intense enough to make your legs tingle and twitch. Come people we all know batshit crazy is usually a sign that reflects fun in the sack. Nobody wants a boring old missionary fairy thats why PornHub is the most viewed site on the internet. In all honesty I think it was my curiosity more so than yours that made me title this ad what I did. I wanted to see who would respond, who’s attention I would grab, who’s feelings I might bother a little.

I feel like this ad will probably get flagged before I get any replies but fuck it at least I had a little fun writing it, I mean what else was I gonna do get my chuckles reading the boring as ads of all the guys wanting a find a female to hangout with. Actually I am a little shocked at the amount of male for male ads, what would your wives say you dirty dogs. Hell shes probably the bored horny one that wouldn’t mind getting double dicked down.

What happened to people making real connections, telling the truth to one another, not being afraid of their insecurities, getting a divorce instead of cheating on their spouse. That is kind of asking for a lot when you consider the current state of our society, I mean how many girls still exist that don’t have two baby daddies, are not on some kind of mental health drug, haven’t been to rehab and are on probation, that embrace their inner slut on a daily, love the idea of lingerie and can even fit into a small to a medium, might even already be PornHub, and can actually read this ad this far. We are all bat shit crazy to our own degree, I mean you kind of have to be to make it through the normal day to day, just turning on the news and listening to our leader talk makes me lose complete hope in the education system of this country.

At any rate hope you enjoyed my words but I am sad to say my boredom has been cured now for the moment but do not fear because the day is still young and we might be day drinking together before you know it.

Take it easy everybody lets see how long it takes for this to get flagged.

Top Photo by Stephane YAICH on Unsplash

Best Of VA Missed Connections November 13 – November 19

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Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, in which we learn that the heart wants what it wants, even when that thing might not be what’s best for you. We also learn that the recent colder temperatures might just be afflicting our MC posters’ fingers, as ads are more terse than ever this week. We’re guessing lots of you are just hurrying to finish typing your posts so you can put your gloves back on. Suggestion: wait til you get where you’re going to let the world know about your missed connection. If you forget it by the time you get there, was it really worth posting about?

There’s also a lot of food talk in this week’s Missed Connections… I guess the temps are also fueling our nesting instincts, meaning we all want to cuddle up with a warm plate of delicious eats. How long before these posts become dominated by talk of “Netflix and chill” in front of the fireplace? At this rate, I give it three weeks.

And finally, of course, we’ve got some questions from a straight guy who, from the sound of it, might not be so straight after all. If any of our readers still feel like they need permission from the world to explore options beyond strictly hetero couplings, well, I’m officially giving it to you.

Let your rainbow flag fly, Virginia.

you punched me in the face in Stuart Court but I still miss you (Richmond)

title says it all.

Miss you (Richmond)

Miss you even though we never really got along and I’m sure you think about me too. BB.

Friday downtown sandwiches

The sandwiches on the second floor were better.

Marcos hull (Brandeemill)

I was disappointed you couldn’t wait on me.

I hope you will next time. When you look at me I want to eat more than pizza.

Dots Restaurant (Bellevue)

You are one Beautiful waitress

Deisy (Sandston)

You are a waitress and waited on me saturday
afternoon.You are beautiful and i would love to get know you. Let me know the name of the restaurant

Gorgeous brunette came in Huddle House round 12:30pm (Virginia Beach)

The gorgeous brunette walked in Huddle House in Landstown area of Virginia Beach. You was wearing a blue top and gray pants your clothes showed off your amazing body perfectly. But anyway I was amazed by your beauty. You walked in with this bold head guy and I don’t know if he is a Bf or a Co-Worker but if you are not seeing anyone or if you are looking for some fun outside of your relationship I would love to help you with that. I would love to meet up and have a drink and talk sometime.

The Gorgeous Mother in CHKD LANDSTOWN this morning (Virginia Beach)

To the most beautiful woman I ever seen in my life. You came into CHKD LANDSTOWN round 8am with your son to check in. I wish I could’ve talk to you and see if you are a single mother or not because I would love to ask you out. You was wearing all black and on your high heels boots you had like a gray Scarf tied around your boots. You are Incredibly sexy and I would love meet up for drinks and see we’re it can go.

Question 4 good looking Str8 guys…. (Fredericksburg)

I have a question and need advice from goodlooking Str8 straight or openminded guys. I’m a similar Goodlooking fit guy, and cannot ask my buddies.

Question – Have you ever had another dude come on to you, or offer to do stuff for you, and what did you do?

VCU Nurse? (E Franklin)

You are a thick short chick. I think you work in the building behind Penny Lane. I see you daily. You’re sexy and I want to get your number.

George Strait (Virginia Beach)

This is not really a missed a connection since we never did talk, but more of a missed opportunity. You sang “Give it Away” at karaoke last night (Saturday), and you were there with a friend. I just thought you were really hot and tried to not look obvious catching glimpses of you all night, since I wasn’t there alone, but then again, neither were you though I’m almost positive you were there with just a friend. Wish you were naked when you sang that song lol.

Krogers deli area – f4m (Richmond)

We spoke in line at the deli today around noon. You had on your work uniform. If you see this tell me where you work or if you’re on qwikmeet tell me what name you go by.

Light guy-food lion (Henrico)

Noticed you in Food lion- working on lights. You mid 40’s, dark hair, scruff, looks like plump ass.

You looked to be checking a couple guys out. What are you into?

Larry’s auto and repair (charlottesville)

Went in with my roomate his service engine light was on.i was in passenger side.you came out to scan the car and had a sexy accent possibly russian or german? Are you single? Are you looking?Whats your name? Tell me what i had with me so i know its you.

We met at Walmart (Churchland)

We met yesterday in the makeup isle, you said I was handsome you would like to hang out sometime. I was wearing jeans a grey t-shirt and black beanie. You were wearing a black dress brown knee high boots and you had brunette hair. Lets meet tonight I am available and would love to make you dinner and have a few drinks. Please respond if you remember me.

Dog Store. Lynnhaven Mall (Virginia Beach)

Dark haired babe with the full sleeve. You’re super pretty and I would like to get to know you.

I had some great Lyft passengers. Anyone? (23227)

I met some great guys driving Saturday night. So you know who I am, Im a tall beefy hairy guy, that drives for charity. Hit me up if you know who I am.

Nice chat (Milothian)

Had a great time chatting with you yesterday on our Uber ride. Hope you had a good day and maybe we will meet again soon.

Lyft driver (Vb)

You were my lyft driver to take me back to my car. Thought we connected pretty good. I’m a male so are you. We were talking about cars and what each cars brand stood for. If you see this and wanna chill let me know what your second car is.

Halloween / Target (charlottesville)

You mouthed something to me when I walked past. It would be fun to run into each other again. Tell me what you said.

i sure miss chatting and emails with you! (richmond)

we used to chat about everything , loved our secret meetings when we did years back,, always think of you! wish you would say hello again. my first initial is R I am male you female first and last intials A. Z. would love to hear from you!

I fixed your flat (RVA)

MWM that stopped to fix your flat. You were a fine black woman that needed a pump. Is it you?

Hannah…..Chris is looking for you (Church Hill)

I am tired of seeing you at a distance and I would like to speak again. I am kicking myself for not getting digits from you when we last spoke. You know where I live and my phone number is right on my van. Call me, girl and let’s get together soon.

Looking for Star from Richmond (Richmond)

Hey star if you see this hit me back. I gave you my number this morning.

Twisted Pig, Port Norfolk, Shooting Pool, with Goatee (Port Norfolk Portsmouth)

I was watching you shoot pool most of the evening, I had to leave, so if you are interested in some relaxation, I live in Port Norfolk not far away. You are welcome to stop by, safe, clean and discreet older guy.

Chub, where have you been? (Sandy Hook)

I miss the days we used to hang out which was long ago 

My 46 birthday came and went and I couldn’t help thinking of you

It’s been too long, let’s reconnect

I’m headed out of town for the weekend but would love to start emailing again and see about finding time to get together

We work together! (Va beach)

So we work together, although we really dont say much other than saying hi and maybe complaining a little about the day, but I always catch you looking at me and vice versa so I just wondered if there was something there.

It could be this is all just a misreading but the way your face lights up every time I say hi to you.. it makes me wonder because you are gorrrrgeous.

Anyway if this reaches the intended person, tell me your name and where we work (and maybe a picture) and I’ll hit you back up!

Best of VA Missed Connections October 23 – October 29

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Halloween’s almost here, but this week Missed Connections is more about kicking dope rhymes than it is about costumery. If you can come up with a more creative couplet than one that pairs “beautiful” with “cuticles,” you just might find the hottie of your dreams.

Sexist stereotypes and extremely obvious marijuana references won’t win anyone anything except maybe a call from a narc, but painting secret-admirer mash notes on rocks and leaving them at your crush’s front door certainly might get you some attention. Meanwhile, it might be time to sweep the bathroom floor — the remnants of last week’s haircut seem to have attained sentience, and are making debatably threatening Craigslist posts about you.

If all else fails, maybe you can cure your loneliness at Kroger. If nothing else, it’s objectively the best grocery store chain in the city, so you’ll at least be able to get some good deals on produce.

Snack hard, Virginia.

The time is 4:20 (Stafford, VA)

Where are you Mr. Green?? The time is 4:20…Do you know what I mean? Extra for delivery

Lyft Rider-You were a witch

Saturday night. you and a friend were witches. You are the WM. Remember me?

What is it about?

Crazy women that make them lousy in relationships but the best in bed?

JJ1CZ (Costco)

One HOT MAMA, wished we could have spoken

Liv works at samsclub col. Hghts (Colonial heights)

I think your name tag said Liv. But you work at Sam’s Club you look incredible. Jaw dropping incredible I just wanted to let you know. Even though I am sure you already know that. If you happen to read this hope it brightens your day.

Your your the voice inside my head (Virgina beach)

I miss you, now I am acting like a punk clinching the tissue. We said I was just for fun, no attachment or trying to get serious. Then I got to know you, and you intrigued me being so mysterious. Things happen and everything got so delirious so I am trying to reach back to you because my heart is searching so furious. We use skate and make love I would always give you back rubs. Holding you nice and tight, maybe once day me and you can once again see a sunset cause you are my sunlight. You know who you are beautiful message me so I can get all up in your cuticles.

Sorry to disturb you friday (Innsbrook)

Sorry about that. Friday I was having my lunch in my work parking lot out near capital one and parked in the back to eat. Didn’t realize anyone was in the car but I saw the two of you climb up from the back seat and you took off. Sorry to be a blocker!

Walmart

Have you stopped thinking about me yet? I saw you watching me the whole time despite being with someone else.

Split ends (Ok)

Cut.
Cut me off.
Trim me down.
Look at me laying
On the floor.
Powerless.
Sweep me
Into you pan,
And look at me
One last time
Before you tilt
Your wrist
To banish me.
Deplorable.
Wash away the
Rest of me
And start
New.

“Love Rock” (Chesapeake)

On Wednesday October 23rd, a stone painted white on the top and words written in purple, red, and gold was found on top of my mailbox. I’m aware that rocks are passed around randomly all the time in this community with cute messages on them. I find really small ones around work once in a while. Except this time, I don’t believe it was from a stranger. They obviously knew where I lived. I believe the rock was a message for me. I am not sure whether to pass it on or find the person that left it. It is a mystery to me that I want to solve. I believe it was a message of love. If it was you or you know who it was, please reach out and give me an answer. I have never received anything like this before in my life, obviously this is a special and unique gift. My heart wants an answer. I need to find out why they have left it for me. This rock is more like a stone that was from my own garden or someplace by the water. It’s about 3-4 inches long and has some weight to it. The following words were written on it:

“Your love is golden!”

Girl dancing in the yellow beetle (Ashland, VA)

You were so cute dancing in your car. I tried to get your eye, but we were going about 85 on the interstate. I’m staying in Ashland, VA tonight but don’t live in the Richmond area. Just wanted to let you know how good your energy felt. Made me put on some music and dance myself. 😉

Were you driving a new or old beetle?

Kroger m4w (Short pump)

Was that a connection? We kept sharing looks. I wanted to talk to you but you kept driving after leaving store. What was I wearing?

Kroger

You had glasses. Black shirt. Hair in a ponytail off to the side. Tattoo on your left arm. Very pretty woman. You were at the doors talking to employees. I was the guy at customer service. Kinda stared at you.

The Pulse Bus (Willow Lawn)

You were the short haired blond woman with four friends on the Pulse bus today around noon. You got off at Willow Lawn. You are smoking hot. I wanted to say something to you but I didn’t want to interrupt the conversation you were having with your friends.

I’d like to have a cup of coffee or a cocktail with you.

Tell me what had on.

Like skin girl working at Pizza Hut (Hopewell)

I wanted to ask for your number but I don’t usually like asking while someones at work. But here I am regreting not asking. Tell me what’s on the screen.

Orange shoes & sweater, camel silvers and a little pick up at WaWa

WaWa W. Broad-

You were wearing orange tennis shoes and an orange sweater. You bought camel silvers, complimented my shirt and drove off in a little pick up truck. You are SO cute.! Hope to hear back.

April at Wawa (Fredericksburg Virginia)

Hoping you might see this we talk this morning you said you was getting off in 15 minutes I said jump in the little white truck I’ll take you home like to talk with you more

Golds Gym Swiftcreek- Colorful pant… wears a hat

You are a blonde WF… I typically see you early morning. I’m typically leaving as you come in. I noticed you looking at me while you were on the stairmaster. What do I look like? 😉

Walmart (Sheila lane)

I helped you at the self checkout. You have beautiful hair … well…beautiful everything. If your interested in grabbing some food, go for a walk or catch a movie , let me know. To know its you, tell me how i helped.

American Family Sauna

We were in the sauna at the same time, made eye connection several times. Can provide more details and description. Both WM. Email me.

Richmond Airport

I asked if you were lost.. and you said?

Saucys (Petersburg)

We had a good convo the other night and would like to grab a drink sometime. I should have said something at the time but by the time I went to you were leaving.

Best Of VA Missed Connections October 16 – October 22

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Welcome to Missed Connections, where flirting always seems to equal awkwardness. But we all want to find companionship and happiness — so sometimes there’s no choice but to keep the awkwardness going. If you are prepared to deal with a little bumbling in pursuit of true love, maybe the Missed Connections will work out for you!

This week, we’ve got at least one Missed Connection that seems like it was published before the poster had a chance to finish their thought — where were you going with that hair dye story? We’ve also got plenty of fall themes; warm drinks, pumpkin patches, and Halloween parties. And at least one of our winners this week sure sounds like a sugar daddy who’s ready to spread the wealth — even if you’re wearing sweatpants. Eep.

Now that the temperatures are dropping, people aren’t out and about quite as much, but this week’s Missed Connections demonstrates that the bigtime cold-weather meeting spot is gonna be the to-go counter. Whether you’re waiting for a pizza, coffee, or a McRib (it’s back!), you might just find love before your food arrives. So don’t rely on UberEats too much, lest you end up nesting alone all winter.

Stay warm, Virginia.

You picked up your car today (Mechanicsville)

Maybe a long shot, but… you picked up your car today and admitted to flirting awkwardly. Maybe we can keep the awkwardness going?

pink and blue (richmond, VA)

I’m naturally a brunette, but lately I’ve been having fun dying my hair funky colors such as purple, pink and blue

What I miss (Chesapeake)

What I miss—
Your smile. It lit up every time we met.
Your hair. The way it fell in front of your eyes when you spoke to me. Even though it changed colors each time I saw you 🙂
Your laugh. It was intoxicating.
Your voice. It was mesmerizing as I listened to every word you said.
Your determination. You always tried your best even when things didn’t go your way.
And I miss knowing you were mine… and I miss knowing I was YOURS even more.

Michigan Ciara at Aroma’s (Williamsburg)

We met waiting for your hot apple cider and my Mocha at 2:00 pm at Aroma’s. It was such a delight to speak to you and share interests. I walked over to food counter, and then watched you say goodbye and you walked out the door. My heart sank, and I moved quickly to the door only to find a empty street. A rare chance to meet a soul mate occurs when we least expect it and sometimes an imbalance of time alters the outcome. I would love to turn back time to the beverage counter and I never left it until I had asked you to have lunch with me. I am very sorry I missed that opportunity. Will you give me a second chance?

Snead pumpkin patch saturday

I was waiting for grandson to finish swing in barn upstairs and was leaning against concrete silo. You pretty female looked very unhappy. Had a wagon with 5 or 6 pumpkins in it and you were sitting on bench. You locked onto me once and thats what made me do this ad. What color hat and hoodie was I wesring? I can help you out

Remember camp? (Richmond)

We worked together a couple of summers at a camp so long ago in NC. We were the only two black males. I was so lost back then, low confidence, didn’t know how to communicate. But I was always at least infatuated. I thought you were good looking, intelligent, and had the best calves. I’m sure you are a great teacher nowadays.

I’ll be in your town next week on business and will ask you if you want to have a no pressure meal and drink. It would be great to just catch up. But it’s been a long time and I’m still curious, wondering if maybe you felt the same way?

If you should see this, please reach out. No pressure and no awkwardness, I promise.

Waiting on pizza

Had a conversation with you at chase rice while waiting for pizza. Thought you were beautiful and wanted to continue ….

Younger tall white guy waiting for your food at McDonald’s (Mechanicsville)

You were a younger tall slim white guy waiting for your food in McDonald’s in Mechanicsville .. I thought you were really cute….hmu if you see this

Saw you at wal mart

Saw you at wal mart on sheila lane yesterday oct17. You were a blondish red head white coat. Looking for a hemi cable in the electronics section I believe. Thought you were gorgeous. I was at the talking at the desk. Wish I would have a chance to chat with you. You probably wont see this but if you do I’d love to get to know you.

Walmart Market (Waynesboro)

You are tall and had an Acadia National Park t-shirt on today at the Walmart Market in Waynesboro. We made eye contact while I waited for a white pickup to pass so I could leave my parking space. I should have asked if you were single. Want to grab a beer?

Whole Food Brunette (West End)

I introduced myself to you after you checked out. You know who you are! I still would love to have a drink with you.

You are beautiful!!

you = pretty young Asian woman in Boychix Monday afternoon (Short Pump)

I know this is almost impossible – but Im trying to reach a very attractive young Asian woman who had a late lunch in Boychix Monday afternoon Oct 14

You were with a group of 8 or 10 people . . . . . wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants, yet still looked great ! I was sitting alone, and you walked by and smiled at me twice. I would LOVE to hire you for part time work in real estate, or just hang out for fun and take you shopping !!

If you happen to see this, please contact me – THANKS

Met you at a Halloween Party Tonight 10/19 (CHARLOTTESVILLE)

I met you tonight at a Halloween party thrown by Parks and Rec. I was standing along the wall watching my brother and we met and talked at length. You were a beautiful Asian girl that goes to UVA. What costume were you wearing? If you can answer that I’ll know it’s really you. I wish I got your number because I didn’t want to leave you.

White Jetta tsi (Mechanicsville)

You were wearing a beautiful black dress today. I run into you every once in a while and I never have the chance to say you’re sexy.

Aflac girl at Goodwill (Chesapeake)

I can’t stop thinking about you. Crazy beautiful.

Remember it’s heaven in the shoe department.

Let’s meet sometime.

Thrift store laughs

You bought a funny item and everyone got a laugh. I liked your sense of humor and you seemed fun. Coffee?

CD missed meeting at thrift store (Chesapeake)

You were the older gentleman, i think in his 60’s, that said will go with me to thrift store since i am shy to pick some feminine clothing, you said you have experience in picking clothes for a man, i am the mature man that only cross dresses indoors since do not pass, hope you see this ad and call again for a meeting at thrift store, i can afford thrift store clothing not expensive stores.