Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where we find lurkers everywhere. At the stoplight, at the PTA meeting, at the junkyard, and as always, at the grocery store. We’ve even got married people creeping on also-married yoga instructors down the block. I’ll bet yoga instructors and personal trainers get that kind of thing all the time.
By contrast, Craigslist does not usually see posts as blatant as the one this week involving olive oil. But I sure hope that kind of post comes along more often, because let me tell ya, we love to see it. One thing almost nobody likes is the new post-Amazon Whole Foods, but let me tell ya… Starbucks isn’t gonna be any better, no matter how good the company.
Canon and Draw, though… that place is pretty cool. At least if you like beer. I wouldn’t know anything about that, though.
Choose your meetup spots carefully, Virginia.
Orange Charger/Female (Parham Rd)
Race you for your number!
Very tall brunette at Westchester Target (Midlothian)
I’ve seen you twice in the past week at the Westchester Commons target. You’re about 6 feet tall, mid 30’s, and have brown hair. You must be a model because you are absolutely stunning. I wanted to approach you this morning but it looked like you were with someone.
I just want to slather you in olive oil and lick it all up and worship you. your’ beautiful to me. get in touch
To the PTA mom I couldn’t stop staring at: your legs in those knee high boots were very distracting, but I’m positive that you know that the way you looked at me. I was one of the few PTA dads there. You smiled and kept staring when you’d catch me checking you out. I think I recognized your tat on fet? Too bad there were so many loiterers around afterwards to invite you to drinks or coffee. It’s too small of a community to openly flirt at the meeting and was hoping I could talk to you a bit.
All I want is for you to tell me you love me and want to be with me. We can’t talk in circles forever and at some point, I will commit to someone else and never look back. My next relationship will be forever.
*written by a woman for a man
Junk or Salvage? (Harrisonburg)
I’m looking for someone who owns a junk/salvage yard that knows just about everything it takes to repair all cars, to entertain a business venture. Located within the Tri State area. Forward contact information to my email address including a trackphone # (due to personal safety precautions) so that I can call you to discuss the venture. Thanks
Server with arm tattoo (Vienna)
Beautiful smile from our server!!!
You had an arm tattoo, you served me a blackened sandwiches.
Am very curious and interested!!
Brunette Playing Pool at Canon & Draw (Richmond)
You were a slender brunette playing pool Saturday evening at Canon & Draw.
You’re a Yoga Instructor in my neighborhood (Fairfax)
You’re a very beautiful yoga instructor that lives in my neighborhood. Our kids go to the same school. I wish I bumped into you more without our significant others.
+Size Woman in Wegmans (Chantilly)
You were an absolutely gorgeous plus size woman in Wegmans yesterday. I didn’t get the best look at you because I didn’t want to think I was staring or stalking you. What I do remember was you were either white or Hispanic with brown or black back length hair with a face and smile any man would be proud to wake up to every morning. It looks like you were either going to a workout or coming from one (athletic wear). We briefly locked eyes, both cordially smiling at one another. I doubt you’ll ever see this, if by one in a 50 millionth chance you do, this is my official invitation to your favorite restaurant.
Springfield Whole Foods – your coffee date invite (West Springfield)
We bumped into each other at the West Springfield Whole Foods. We were both complaining about how small it was. You were all “I’m writing Jeff Bezos about this”… we had a good laugh. You invited me for a coffee, but I didn’t care much for Starbucks. You said – maybe a coffee at your place and that your husband wasn’t home… I should have said yes right then! Would love a rain check on that offer…
Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash
