All the crazies in the world were either in Richmond or tweeting about it on social media yesterday, and the Missed Connections this week aren’t exactly sane either. Is this what we have to look forward to in 2020? At least while the world burns we’ll have plenty of Craigslist posts to burst into uncomprehending laughter over, right? Not sure that’s an incredibly reassuring consolation, but here we are.
This week sees people expressing crushes in terms of wanting to be someone’s baby — and not in the way the Ronettes sang about, either. We’ve also got uncomfortably intense poetry, hot grandmas, and ladies who carry eggplants around in public, as well as dudes who are bummed they didn’t get the chance to make a #notallmen argument to some frustrated lady they don’t even know. Simmer down, hotshot — you’ll have plenty of opportunities to get into that argument before all is said and done.
By the way, shout out to dudes still cruising each other at the YMCA over 40 years after the Village People sang about it. We always approve of keeping it old-school around here.
Do whatever you feel, Virginia.
Turn Back Into A Baby For Salem Kroger Teresa (Roanoke, Virginia)
If it truly was possible, I would physically transform back into a 8 month old baby for the Salem Spartan Square Kroger Teresa. I would enjoy her being a lot taller and stronger than me.
All I know is I need to tell you how I feel.
Everytime I see you it feels like I’m going to vomit my embarassing infatuation all over that blue sweater you always wear.
But it will compromise everything.
This isn’t meant for you to read I just need to say it.
I just don’t know how I’ll cope with any answer besides yes.
So say yes. Ok?
U had an egg plant (Chesapeake)
You had an egg plant when at the auto store. You commented on the car.
For a thousand reasons, I can never say this to you. Because you’re my boss. Because you’re straight. Because you’re my friend. But I know I don’t hide it as well as I should when I’m around you. You have to know that you drive me fucking crazy. When you flirt with me, I want to call your bluff and show you how you make me feel. I want to make you forget about Him. But….I’ll just continue to be your chivalrous, reliable friend while I’m waiting for you to make a move…
Damn dude…..you were fine..saw you coming out of Publix to your black truck….I know you saw me checking you out.
I’d do anything.
Into dudes?
Woman customer at Taboo on Patterson (Richmond west end)
You were purchasing some toys and I was behind you in line. Left my wallet on the car. You were beautiful and I wanted to say hello, but thought it may come across creepy in that venue. Say hello if you want.
New Year’s resolution! Finding a female friend with nice feet (Hampton Roads)
Everyone has a New Year’s resolution, everything from losing weight, saving money, or making a major purchase. I am searching for a mature woman who I can be friends with and also massage and admire her feet. I know, it’s a little out of left field and some are thinking “One of those guys who likes feet.”. I am being honest as I work a lot and would love to find someone who is doesn’t mind being friends with a guy who likes feet. Feet don’t have to be all done up and perfect, race doesn’t matter, and size doesn’t matter. So if interested, and yes their are perks to this friendship, please email me. I am not looking for anything more than that, I wish there was a proper channel to post an ad like this, but I do believe that their is someone who can make my one of my New Year’s resolution come true. If interested please email me, if you have constructive criticism please email me, if you have questions than please email me. Happy New Year’s!!!!
To the lady ranting about men (Va beach)
Your post got flagged..go figure. Would love to discuss your post further…give a mans perspective so to speak. Not hitting on you or anything just conversation.
Hey
I gave you a ride to your brothers house from the Satellite Bar Restaurant one rainy night. We were suppose to meet again the next day but i couldnt make it. I remember you said your grandbaby called you G Ma. Hit me up.
Looking for a woman to get to know and grow with. Please be single and real.
Re: Walmart Sunday (Mechanicsville)
Any chance you can give initials? Help a guy out if he is being cheated on.
Had an interesting haircut. Thought you were cute and that we had some chemistry. Maybe I’ll hear from you?
McDonald’s Buckingham Saturday Morning (Buckingham,Va)
You were ahead of me and paid for my order. I would have like to thank you in person but was nervous. I appreciate it greatly and it really made my morning. Wish I could have done something to return the happiness. Well doubt you see this but however if you do and would like to respond let me know what type vehicle I was in. I like your beanie also looked nice on you. You were in a SUV.
Heathsville Food Lion (Heathsville VA)
Hello,
You are a young lady with dark red hair that works at the Food Lion in Heathsville Va. You were working on Saturday evening and we spoke as you were getting off work. Say hi if you would like to chat.
Hope to hear from you….
Winking at the ymca (Downtown)
Hey we stare at each other at the gym.. your like 6ft3, & work out at night.. hit me back if you see this!!
Volvo C70 at Starbucks (Willow Lawn)
Saturday morning at Starbucks. Let’s get our coffee together next time.
Harris Teeter Portsmouth intense connection
Me: slim brown skin blk male. You:(cashier)slender caramel blk female with a smile and eyes to die for. I ventured into your store twice around Halloween.The second visit, we had an intense connection but we didn’t talk..I would love to hear the sound of your voice. Tell me who I was with or what I had on
Harris Teeter M4F (Greenbrier Pkwy)
Saw you in the self check-out line, you got a beautiful smile and very kind looking eyes. We talk for a moment and I told you I was from out of town. It was nice to speak to you, since I don’t know anyone in the area. Wondering if maybe you would like to grab a drink. This was about 6 p.m. I’m going to be here for two months, would love to find someone nice to go and do things with. I didn’t see a wedding ring; I wasn’t sure if you were single or not. The smile and the eye contact was really nice 🙂 If this is you, and you’re interested, please reach out I’d love to hear from you.
Where’s my mechanic? (Fredericksburg)
Wondering where my mechanic went? Been a few weeks since we have seen each other. Know your at a new place but please swing by the store one day. I’m missing you and hope your doing well.
There this morning, complimented you on your hair. You are very beautiful.. made my day
If you see this (Godiva lady)I would like to talk more about chocolate and other interesting topics. I just didn’t have time that day…….seeking older woman FWB email me
Almost positive you won’t see this. But anything at this point is worth a try. We see each other almost every morning. We’ve spoken but never a full conversation. But I believe we are feeling the same feelings. If this is you(female) what color car do I be in. I really hope you see this,we could make magic happen.
Looking for a Deaf Woman from past (Richmond Va)
I am interested in finding her or getting any information about her wherabouts. We both worked at Relax-a rama in Richmond some years ago. Lost touch and since she cannot hear I had no way to communicate w her. Any way she was married to a deaf man and I don’t know where she lived. I’d like to see her again . If you know any one that fits this description get her to respond to this ad. She will remember.BTW her name is Aileen
I briefly dated a friend of yours over the summer. You’re a line dancer at a local bar. 20’s white female, curly dirty blonde hair, light blue eyes, freckles, cute smile and just stunning. I’ll honestly never forget the day we met at that concert (can you tell me which one?).
Anyway, you’ve been crossing my mind recently. I would have loved (and still would like to) take you out on a date to see what would have happened. The people we were seeing weren’t compatible with us but I wonder if we were? Take a chance?
You work at lowes and your name starts with an H, you are short and thick. I am a customer and my name starts with M. I always made a point to come to your register so we could talk. We know each other by first name. I haven’t seen you in a bit but know you still work there. I have something I would like to talk to you about…