Labor Day has come and gone. Extended unemployment benefits have ended. The Supreme Court killed the eviction moratorium. And COVID numbers are on the rise once again. Depending on your situation, it might just be time to panic.

But for now, let’s escape all that and read the Missed Connections for a bit, shall we? We had to dig pretty deep this week to unearth some gems from the endless sea of “woodworking” puns and requests for “plumbers” to “clear out clogged pipes” and all of the other terrible posts that litter Missed Connections like a Flanders field full of UXO. But we did find a few entertaining tidbits, from dudes who don’t want to hit on someone while they’re with their teenage daughter to people from the hinterlands throwing out names of porn stars, like that’s gonna mean anything to anyone besides your fellow OnlyFans addicts.

Plus, we’ve got married people who ran into each other at a MAGA rally trying to strike up a spark, in case you were wondering about the moral compass of the people you see in the background of Trump speeches on CNN.

Finally, I must say: using a Cadillac to deliver pizza is a bad move. Using a Cadillac that needs regular infusions of oil stop-leak is even worse. Hope the Craigslist market for $500 beaters hasn’t dried up.

Get your motor running (while you can), Virginia.

Asian lady in blue dress at GoodWill (Manassas)

I am an older gentleman with long hair and a long beard (gray) who was not exactly dressed for the occasion. My friend had a last minute appointment along with her teen. I am not one to try and pick up someone with a teenager around. But, for some reason I can’t seem to shake the thought of you. If you would like to be my Queen and let me serve you, it would be nice to hear from you!

Joker (RVA)

Missing my connection with a fun woman – B. I saw (nearly walked into) you shopping with your mom at Famous Footwear in the Ville some time ago. Let’s chat and catch up. It’s been too long. Miss that joker.

Caleb BBQ waiter (Woodbridge)

Hey thanks for the great service you provided. You are very nice and fast at what you do. You told me you were getting 3 days off and go to school at NVCC. You also told my father about the military discount I’d like to chat more about what you are studying and get to know you. If you see this email me back.

Woman at the Trump Rally (Northern VA)

We met at the Trump rally and talked a little. We’re both married but we had a spark …

Your name begins with T, and your Mom is in va beach (Richmond)

A couple of weeks ago I posted, looking for someone to split the cost of a hotel room for a couple of nights. I need to do that again later this week. Just for you to get away from your situation (as I will be doing) for a couple of days. If you’re interested, be in touch!

A.

Looking for my Korra Del Rio (Yorktown)

I want to get to know you.
Where are you?

Walmart last month (colonial height)

I’ve been meaning to write one these even tho you probably won’t see it. You was in Walmart looking for some oil stop leak. You were having some issues with your car. You drove a Cadillac, which you were using for food delivery. We talked about the car for a min. I couldn’t believe your bf was just sitting in the car, and didn’t come to help you out with that. Smh. I remember you being really cute and small with huge breast. I’m just saying. I hope you see this and contact me. I would like to take you out somewhere sometime and talk some more.

Pizza Delivery Looking for Address Last Night (Elizabeth Lake Hampton)

You were looking for an address and I just happend to see you out front looking, wish I hadnt been so preoccupied and would have been more “hospitable” because I really should have been thinking on my feet and invited you in to look for the address and then was kicking myself in the ass all night lol….and then I wanted to order a pizza just to see you again…in fact still want to….if you are still working out there please let me know id love to be your last pizza delivery for the night and have you in for a nightcap/cocktail little fun and big tip ;)~

cute girl at Cpt Toms (Colonial Heights)

I was in there around 7pm on 9/3, and you where working the to go counter.. you had pink color in your hair but no ring… damn you are good looking and I would love to ask you out and get to know you…

I hope you see this… if you do.. plz write me!

Thanks for the guidance on the bike trail (vienna)

Thanks for guiding me back onto the bike trail in Vienna today. Let me know if you might want to do a ride sometime! Tell me something about me, you and the help you gave so I know its you.

Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, one of the last ones before the unofficial end of summer, aka Labor Day weekend. We actually had a pretty slim crop of Craigslist gems this week; perhaps it’s because people wanted to take advantage of one of the last weekends of the summer, but if you ask me, there was probably a Craigslist outage at some point over the weekend. I prefer to imagine the Commonwealth’s lonely singles out there making real-life connections, though, so please… don’t shatter my illusion.

Instead, enjoy a whole bunch of lovable weirdos getting freaky in the Missed Connections — most especially the person who thinks they can hide kinky sexual practices by pretending they’re talking about fast food. You may not be fooling anyone, anon, but I will give you points for creativity! We’ve also got escapades on the dance floor, a classic gas-station meet-cute, and people attempting to have a post-COVID summer by making new connections at live events. Personally, I’m deathly afraid of catching the Delta variant, but I am thankfully able to live vicariously through all of you, so keep the Craigslist posts coming!

Oh, and I’m not the one who bought the petrol Mercedes, but I do trawl the Craigslist ads looking for cheap 90s Volkswagens, so that one hit a little close to home.

Keep your engines revving, Virginia.

Magic Carpet Ride (Fan)

DOMinoes looking for SUBway vegetable toppings.

Experienced or curious cat to chat.
Simple and fun

Blonde in a Senior position

We work at the same place, but not under the same supervisors. It’s not a large place to work so I want to be a little vague with this. You are in a Senior position, and we see each other fairly regularly, but not as much as I would like.

You are blonde, average height, I would guess around 30 but I’m not really sure. You’re also very fit, and I’ve tried not to stare but you are beautiful!

You actually just walked by my desk as I’m typing this!

Walking the dogs in your pj’s (King George)

I look so forward to the weekends just to catch a glimpse of you taking the dogs out. You look so delicious in the way those pj pants fit. Your bottom is so sexy and round it drives me wild. If you ever get lonely, I’d love to appreciate that luscious body. Let me know what kind of dogs you have so I know it’s really you. Thanks for reading………

Girl I complimented at wawa on Rosemont rd (Norfolk)

We were both getting gas on the same pump. I was getting ready to leave,and said you look really nice today,really sharp. You smiled,blushed,and thanked me. I told you to have a nice day, you said to do the same. I should’ve asked you for your number,and to go for a ride sometime. If you see this,what was I driving? Hope to hear from you

After Alanis concert (Amphitheatre)

We were almost the last uber rides out, we were the fun couple that wanted you to come to our room, but we didn’t get a chance to invite you. You, a lovely 30-40’s woman with a great smile, were with your girlfriends leaving for your hotel offering to give us a ride. You said “I love you” as you left. We loved that and wanted you to come play with us… interested in a 3’s w us?

Walking near Brand Center (VCU)

To the girl that asked me where the River was I should have told you if you got lost walking to text me . I wasn’t thinking quick enough as I was stunned by your beauty !! Let me know if you think you know who this is

Between the goal posts (Regional)

Hitting the target is my finesse, mate

Girl at Decades (1219 Connecticut Ave NW, Washington, DC 20036)

I was that tall white guy, you were the girl with the long hair in a cheetah print dress.
You complimented me on my dancing, and you were worried about being sweaty.

You went to the top floor, but I had to go find my friends before going up there.
When I tried the line was super long and I couldnt stay around.

I would like to take you out dancing again.

We were seatmates at Ali Wong (Washington DC)

What are the odds we both came solo? Enjoyed our conversation about travels and Korean spa hijinks. I would have suggested trading contact info, but Ali locked our phones and I have a terrible short-term memory. Hope our paths can randomly cross again 🙂

Roman who bought Mercedes gas engine (Littlestown)

I listed a Mercedes 6 cyl gas engine with transmission. “Roman” responded and bought it, but the CL email has expired before we were able to make final arrangements for delivery.\
Please respond and contact me so we can complete this transaction.

Top Photo by Oriol Pascual on Unsplash.

Welcome to Missed Connections, where this week we find a secret underground of adults playing dirty versions of kids’ games… or so it seems (there’s only so much you can say in a Craigslist ad). It seems like it might be taking place at a neighborhood Wawa, which is surprising. The most outrageous thing I ever see at Wawa is a really, really long line for the cashier.

Moving on from that, this week’s Missed Connections hold other delights for us, from thwarted oil changes and idle chatter at the post office to hot security guards and tasty snacks at Sweet Frog. It’s all really cute harmless adult fun… at least until someone wishes you would die of COVID, that is. I don’t think they were talking about me, though.

By the way, confidential message to the guy wondering where the streetwalking sex workers have gone… this is just another element of our vibrant community that gentrification slowly pushes out. I don’t know if too many people are upset about this one, though.

Just sayin, Virginia.

Simon Says (Midlothian)

You came up to me at the Wawa and said Simon Says and asked me to do something for you. At the time, I said no, but might reconsider now that I am behind in points. My friend and I (both bi guys) are playing a game of Simon Says where someone will come up to us and say “Simon Says…and tell us what they would like for us to do.” If we say yes, we receive points based on what it is. If we say no, we take points away. It is totally up to us whether we accept or not. If that was you, hit me back, I need the points.

Sweet brunette at Sweet Frog (Suffolk)

Hey I loaded up a cup at the Sweet Frog and wished you were one of my toppings. If you see this hope to hear from you.

Mustard pants

So yesterday made me think you might be into me too. You are an incredibly beautiful young African American woman that works on the same floor as me. Yesterday you had on yellow ‘mustard’ color pants, heels, and I couldn’t stop looking your way. Funny I swear you posted up in a spot talking to someone so you could see me too, or at least you may have caught me looking and wanted to let me know.

Either way you’re beautiful smile gets my attention every time I’m lucky enough to run into you.

If you know who this is definitely get in touch.

What do you think

Only if you knew how much I hate you PGM.I hope you catch covid or delta and just die.

haha DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN OF DOLLAR TREE NEAR MY OFFICE (VIRGINIA BEACH/CHESAPEAKE BORDER)

It’s Geologist Doug. Hey we lost touch, but I would love to reconnect and rebuild our lost-to-time friendship. We met at/near the Providence Rd/S.Military Hwy Dollar Tree.

Security Guard Saturday (Lynchburg)

You were the security guard Saturday night at an event. A friend was talking to you and joked that you were my type because I like a guy with handcuffs. But actually, I thought you were definitely my type. Not sure if you were interested in me or if my friend was just trying to be funny. Tell me where the event was if you’d like to meet up. I’m semi-local and down to meet up.

You in: LIFTED black Silverado Z71, custom wheels, cargo shell cover (Falmouth area, Stafford)

Saw you Sunday at 7-11 on Rt.17 across from Geico, you were very tall fit HOT military look guy coming out as I came in – I was very cleancut guy in black Tahoe, you were still in parking lot when I came out – saw you again Monday afternoon, passed you at the stop sign where Enon Rd meets Truslow Rd. Would like to explore you and your big truck and show you a few things only a buddy knows.

Ginger guy at VCU Parham Rd

I’d like to say hi to the ginger guy walking his dog in the VCU parking lot behind Pence Jeep on Parham Rd.

where do all the street girls in vb hang out (vb)

does anybody know where the street girls hang out now in vb. miss having fun with them when you needed a piece of tail. the girls are not around ocean view either where have they gone?

Your curves were perfect!

You were so beautiful sitting there drinking your coffee yesterday. Beautiful eyes, long hair, curvy gorgeous body. Silky blue shirt, black skirt. I took a work call, looked at computer for a couple minutes, then you were gone 🙁

We could be chatting now if only I would have silenced that call.

Woman from the grafton post office (Yorktown)

We talked about too much mail. The Tabb library. I gave you some cards. Wanna talk some more?

Jiffy lube tattooed girl on J Clyde (Newport News)

I hope to find you! We talked a bit about your tattoos and you were so beautiful! I wanted to ask for your number but the lady interrupted us and said she couldn’t change your oil because she didn’t have the tool to take off your filter on your Toyota. Please reach out to me if you see this. I would love to get to know you better.

I’ll never stop (Austin)

Loving you. I will until the last day.

That’s all I’ve got to say.

Photo by Tim Evans on Unsplash

It’s time for another rainy, humid week of Missed Connections, in which we learn that there really is someone for everyone. From the flatulent vampires to the geology stalkers, from the sweet young ladies cutting up food for senior citizens at restaurants to the suburbanites chatting over mouthwash at the discount store, everybody’s got some role to play in this rich pageant we call life.

We had quite a few one-liners this week as well. And listen, I know those are probably not as successful when you really are trying to find someone specific and not just anyone who wants to “unclog your pipes” or “deliver some wood,” but they certainly make this weekly column more entertaining to put together, so… keep ’em coming!

That said, if you’re checking out a young lady and you’ve got to mention that you’re not sure how old she is, chances are extremely good that she’s too young for you. So maybe try to crank the creep levels down a notch or two, hotshot.

Don’t make it weird, Virginia.

Gym

[f] I had on black leggings and a blue shirt. I saw you checking me out in the gym earlier today near broad street. You look like you wanted to rail me. Dude should have just asked for my number?

Great American Ranch (Midlothian)

“You miss 100 % of the shots you don’t take”

Saturday August 7th between nine thirty and ten thirty ( not sure on the time my phone was in my vehicle)
You definitely checked me out at least twice across the bar and at one point I believe we were back to back outside

I was with my sister who is about 5’6” and I was waiting till her friends showed up so I could go talk to you ( and not be rude to her )but by the time they showed up you were no where to be found

Looks wise you are my ideal woman and I’d like to get to know the rest of you!

I was wearing boots black shirt light blue jeans had a hat on and also have a beard 6’2”

If you respond to this post- send a picture so I can weed out the fake reply’s

Control Freak? (RIC Airport)

Contact me today; I’ll be tied up tomorrow.

Wegram’s today (STAUNTON)

i was in line checking out and i farted a big stinky one.
i hated it, but 2 of the 3 ladies behind me plus the checkout
lady passed out as if they were warfare gassed or something.
Call on me if my ass and or farts turned out on – the 1 out of
3 who survived this ting, ok ? And yes, i am a Vampire.

Girl with black hair atlee library (Mechanicsville)

Hi you were at atlee library with your friend today Saturday aug 14 you were so attractive not sure how old you are but hope you see this I was guy on computer.

Alexandria, Blonde, Chicago (Alexandria)

Weeks ago, my large extended family and I were at a restaurant for a gathering, and you were sitting alone eating dinner. Somehow you ended up speaking to my Grandfather and the next thing we know you are cutting up his food for him. You sang a song quietly under your breath because he was from the old country. You disappeared before we could thank you. I think my family fell a little in love with you and maybe I did too. You were blonde and from Chicago, although I am not sure you were visiting or had moved here. If you happen to read this, please reach out. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Use the restaurant name as the subject matter.

Undercover

Kinda got the impression you were under cover. Didn’t wanna blow it.

Christiansburg last Friday

Last Friday at FB Soulshack , you sat at the table behind us , told us we were great entertainment. Wish I had got your number, you seem fun and had a great smile. Tell me something specific so I know it’s you. .. probably a long shot.

A shot in the dark (Richmond)

You: you worked in the maintenance area at Maymont. Dirty blonde to burnett hair, longer and put up. You wore yellow lens sun glasses which you left laying in a back room and I made sure to bring them out and let you know you had left them I did catch your name as much as would have loved to have done so. You are a sticking woman even in your work clothes and I couldnt take my eyes off you.
Me: WM I was helping to put up/hang a box in a corner in back of shop area. Long brown hair in a ponytail. A few extra pounds and like a big bear with muscles.
I would love to chat with you and see if we connect and if so move on to a date. You really caught my eye and I have been thinking of you since, which was about two weeks ago now. Tell me the color of the box we hanging. Hope you see this you are on my mind constantly.

do you work at US Geological Survey in Reston (Sterling / Reston)

or know somebody that does ?
I have questions about someone there.
She hates me but if she knew that I miss her, well maybe she’d hate me a little less .. and then who knows. 😮

Queens Way Restaurant (Hampton)

you held the door for me on saturday night at one of the restaurants on queens way in hampton….i said “thank you”, our eyes locked, and i knew you could see right through me….

i was wearing a black dress and black heels….white pearl necklace……

i was there to meet someone else – but i really wanted to get to know you……

you were a very handsome black man…..very fit…..

your shirt was a very bright color…..please tell me what color when you respond to this so i know it might be you….

Bike Rider at H St Whole Foods (H St)

You waved and said hello.
I waved and said hello.
For some fidgety shy reason I kept…. walking?
I’ve been regretting not stopping all day!

So, hi!

-Lady in clear glasses with natural hair ^-^

Mouthwash Isle, Gainesville BJ’s

L ~ It was fun discussing a healthy life style. ~ H

walnut bridge hanging (Roanoke)

Saw you bud on walnut bridge.
Blue T-shirt, jeans, on your cell, hanging.
hit me back, been awhile

health going down hill fast

To my friend, who moved from Mineral to Alexandria, My health is going down hill fast. You only care about a buzz. Oh well I no longer give a care. My health is killing me, too many pains in the wrong spots. They want to take my legs, they say my lungs are filling with stuff. I am not going to let them remove anything. Without you, I have no reason to try and live. Now I say good bye to you, for it will not be long before the big long sleep. I hope you are happy. I just wanted to be loved for my last days of life and that was taken away from me. Now I will pass away without friends or a loved one. Hope you are happy. Hope you live a long life. I know it will not be a happy life for you, then again with whom you have choosen to be your lover, it will always be on you. He will never do anything to help make a living. Now I shut down my phone and kill my email accounts. I die alone. Thank you

Photo by Danielle Cerullo on Unsplash

Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where I begin with a confession: I read these things all the time, but I’ve never posted one, so I have no idea how it works. So, asking for a friend: do you get bombarded with spam when you post a Missed Connection on Craigslist? Considering how many people are out here requiring extensive subject-line identity proofs, I feel like you might, but can there really be that many potential catfishes out there?

Whatever the answer, I know there are a lot of entertaining posts to read this week, and that’s really why we’re all here, isn’t it? So strap in and get ready for tales of motorcycle dances, coffee baths for cars, work flirtations at Target and Papa John’s, backyard barbecue meet-cutes, and a whole lot more.

By the way, to all of you using Craigslist to holler at trans girls: your ability to look past society’s prejudices is… admirable, I suppose. But if you really want to impress us, talk to us in person. Preferably in front of your friends. Nobody wants to be your dirty little secret.

Put yourself out there, Virginia.

The Graduate (City)

We parked in the same place. We went up together. You decided to roll. No worries there but hit me up.

Chipotle (Colonial Heights)

You, a very attractive woman, were picking up your order about 4:15 today. I was in the middle of ordering. I kept looking at you and I know you knew it. You left right after I did, and passed me down the road. I just couldn’t get up the nerve to say anything. These days it’s so hard. If you’re guy and say something to a women, regardless of how nice, you’re an asshole. Or at least it seems that way.

I’d really like to talk to you and maybe get to know you.

If by some impossible chance you see this, please tell me about our encounter? What you were wearing, what I look like, the kind of car you drive…. something so I know it is really you and not some CL scammer weirdo.

Damipoo…

That is what you used to call me.

My name is Damien though. We met on cl. You and I were attached, and were going to meet up.

I changed my mind. We never met.

You worked at Burger King, to make some money because he was doing nothing to help with income. This was very long ago. I forgot your name but I was thinkng about you. I do remember you had blonde hair. I used to have long hair, but cut it over time.

If you see this, contact me.

We will actually meet up this time.

Book shopping at Goodwill (Richmond)

You’re way hot. I should have spoken. Floundered in my mask instead. Ugh. I want to take you out somewhere.

Nurse flying home from France (Richmond)

We met at O’Hare waiting for our flight to Richmond. I was in row 1 on that flight. You were intoxicatingly cute. I’d love to spend an evening or 2 with you while I’m in town.

If you’re interested, contact me here. Tell me what row you sat in so I know it’s you.

I know this is a long shot, but it would be great to connect with you.

Waiters (New Kent)

The 2 cute waiters at the Italian restaurant in Providence Forge. Always have a smile and are very attentive. Always dressed nice and those jeans…Wow! Would like to get to know you better. They have waited on us several times. I’m local to New Kent. Anyone know these guys?

Saw you on 64, motorcycle dance (64 East)

So, this is the guy on the Victory motorycle jammin out between Charlottesville and Richmond. Hopefully lookin to find the cutie I ended up dancing for all the way down 64E, sorry I had no way to talk to ya, but I hope you enjoyed the show lol. What color was my helmet?

Did you pour coffee on my car?

Why though?

Gym Hello (Williamsburg)

You: Older gent in locker room getting dressed who gestured “hello…”
Me: Mid aged guy washing my hands, embarrassed that I’d get caught staring! LOL
I know it’s a long shot… But I’d be very receptive to your introduction next time.

latitude climber with beautiful eyes (Chesapeake)

i get lost in them. not gonna lie.

Bojangles Window attendant (Salem)

I pulled up in black Nissan ordered chicken sandwich. We joked about you being out of everything and made eye contact several times while I was waiting. Hope you see this, would love to connect.

Memories (DC)

Hi:

I remember being snowed in; I remember being on rafts on the Rappahannock. I miss tracking frisbees. I miss old Brompton street, sleeping on the high hill impermissibly. If I come back, will you be there?

I already knew you were transgender (Roanoke)

but you are so pretty and sweet – now will you email me or send me your number?

Saturday Night at Creek Bottom (Galax)

I was near your family and your embarrassment was so cute! I loved your hair & shirt, your smile made me glow 🥰 Tried to sneak you my number but I don’t know if you saw it. I’m daydreaming about exchanging music, touching your face, laughing at your jokes. There are no attractive or smart men in this town, Greensboro native, please find me!

White woman with dreads at target (Front Royal)

Looking for the white woman with glasses and black hair (in dreads) that frequents the Front royal Target.
You often wear a simple black dress, and despite being attractive you give off low maintenance vibes.
I am a team member there and we’ve had brief conversations, once about how you used to live in NY before all the hipsters took over.
I obviously can’t risk my livelihood by asking you out at work, but if you happen upon this post, hmu.

Sheila who came to Papa Johns

You came in maybe 3 times while I was working. I think you came in mostly on Saturdays around lunch time. I finally worked up the courage to ask you out but you were worried about the covid situation and responded saying you knew where to find me if that changed. I quit at the end of January but my friend was working and said you came by and asked for me yesterday (Aug 7). I would love to talk to you again!

Jen .. yes you (Sterling)

You called me stupid. I yelled at you. I miss you. I know you miss seeing me.
I’m doing really well .. new Jeep .. lots o’ money .. living in an apartment in Lowe’s Island.
I wish I was living w/ you.
Send me a note.

Dark blonde with 2 kids Friday Backyard Grill, Chantilly (Chantilly)

Yesterday, Friday, Aug 6th between 4.30 and 5pm in the afternoon.
My open Convertible was parked at the parking lot across from the Backyard Grill in Chantilly. I was about to get into my car.
You drove up in your ruby SUV. I saw you watching me (or my car, or the two of us???) with a great smile on your face. You didn’t stop looking at me, (my car, us) as you turn right, not even when you turn left again. You parked your car and left your car with two kids. You are a beautiful dark blonde lady, classy dressed. You crossed the street to visit Backyard Grill. I tried one more time to catch a glimpse of you, but with no luck.
I would love to get to know you. Discretion guaranteed in case there is a hubby who may not know about this…..
Please be prepared that I will ask about the make of your SUV after you answered.

Mt pleasant explorer for awesome guide (Mount Pleasant)

I asked you on the street about where to find a colorful house and you thought about it and suggested Lamont street.

You? You were a cute gal in gym shorts, white athletic socks that were so bad ass, clear framed glasses with the cutest of black dogs. (Maybe 5’7″+ ish?)

Me? I was in an dude in a shirt and tie, baseball cap, and nerdy mask. I was totally digging you.

When you suggested two places to go for food / drink (thanks for the suggestions), I thought I should ask you to join but I got nervous. I’m kicking myself because you were so nice, had a rad dog, and referred to the area as the last hold out for punk and crunchy and that’s why you are staying in the area.

Let me know where you suggested or maybe what we talked about?

Photo by Sean Benesh on Unsplash.