Support the troops doesn’t mean try to dress like them. What’s the first thing American soldiers do when they get home? Change their fucking clothes. You see, most rational human beings realize that camouflage has a solely utilitarian purpose, and it would look ridiculous to wear it around in public. And using AK-47s, brass knuckles, hand grenades and other miscellaneous weaponry doesn’t make a garment cool (cough, cough, 10 Deep and Crooks & Castles).
Support the troops doesn’t mean try to dress like them. What’s the first thing American soldiers do when they get home? Change their fucking clothes. You see, most rational human beings realize that camouflage has a solely utilitarian purpose, and it would look ridiculous to wear it around in public. And using AK-47s, brass knuckles, hand grenades and other miscellaneous weaponry doesn’t make a garment cool (cough, cough, 10 Deep and Crooks & Castles).
Weaponry t-shirts don’t make you look like a badass, they make you look like the education system failed you. Or more likely, that you failed it. Skipping class to go skateboarding probably wasn’t great future planning. Oh wait, you are going somewhere? I forgot, you’re sponsored. By who? That shitty skate shop in Charlottesville no one’s ever heard of? Let me know when you hit your first million.
If it’s an anti-authoritarian statement you’re making about the unsustainable war efforts of the American government in nations abroad, I get that. Abbie Hoffman had his flag shirt, you have your camo. However, Hoffman spent his time completing psychology degrees and leading anti-war protests. You spend your time playing Call of Duty on Xbox and “chillin’ with the homies.”
What are you hiding from with that camo anyways? Your boring and predictable personality? Your impending bleak and unemployable future? Probably your alcoholic stepdad, but it’s just a guess. What is interesting, however, is how quickly you would fail in the actual military. R. Lee Ermey would have his foot up your ass faster than you failed out of college.
This is the thing about all of the urbanwear/skatewear out there with camo, AK-47s, brass knuckles, etc. No one that wears it has been or ever will be in the military, nor have they ever held, used or probably even seen a real AK-47, set of brass knuckles, hand grenade, or any of the other weaponry symbols they think are so cool to sport on their clothes. It’s all fake, it’s all a lie. Do you think people that own and use brass knuckles need to walk around with a t-shirt that has brass knuckles screen printed on it? No. They’re too busy smashing in the faces of kids who do.
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not reflect RVA Magazine editorial policy. Additionally, they are presented for humorous purposes, so don’t take this shit too seriously.
