We’ve had a great few years, but it’s time to admit that RVA Magazine is stretched beyond it’s capacity.
After months of back-room negotiation, a deal was signed at the eleventh hour last night. As of this morning, all branding, logos, content, and subsidiaries of RVA Magazine (and parent company Baller Design LLC) are now owned by Norwegian black metal band Dimmu Borgir (wiki).
We’ve had a great few years, but it’s time to admit that RVA Magazine is stretched beyond it’s capacity.
After months of back-room negotiation, a deal was signed at the eleventh hour last night. As of this morning, all branding, logos, content, and subsidiaries of RVA Magazine (and parent company Baller Design LLC) are now owned by Norwegian black metal band Dimmu Borgir (wiki).
In a press conference with RVA Magazine’s publisher Anthony Harris and Dimmu Borgir’s frontman Shagrath, two statements were issued. Harris reported that “this is a new era for RVA Magazine, we’re very excited about what the Borgir team has in store for the magazine. I’ll be staying on as a creative director, to ensure that the original flavor of RVA is maintained while incorporating BSDM themes, spiked codpieces, and dripping lamb’s blood on to every copy of the magazine that goes out.” Shagrath’s main statement was “You have returned to the torture-chambers to find peace among the rotting corpses, you have returned to the execution place, to inhale the smell of blood. Death and terror rules the land, we have been spellbound by the perfect binding, sharp colors, great photography and overall tight yet clean design aesthetic.”
This move may come as a surprise to many, as the local media and music scene had been predicting for months that RVA was to be purchased by local glam horror act GWAR.
Frontman Oderus Urungus was apparently enraged by the news, calling Anthony and all associated with RVA Magazine “Scum-spewing festering scab-cunts who will feel the wrath of the Cuttlefish of Cthulu (editor’s note: The Cuttlefish of Cthulu is Oderus’ detachable penis) in their pulped throats should this matter not be resolved within a reasonable timeframe.”
