All the crazies in the world were either in Richmond or tweeting about it on social media yesterday, and the Missed Connections this week aren’t exactly sane either. Is this what we have to look forward to in 2020? At least while the world burns we’ll have plenty of Craigslist posts to burst into uncomprehending laughter over, right? Not sure that’s an incredibly reassuring consolation, but here we are.

This week sees people expressing crushes in terms of wanting to be someone’s baby — and not in the way the Ronettes sang about, either. We’ve also got uncomfortably intense poetry, hot grandmas, and ladies who carry eggplants around in public, as well as dudes who are bummed they didn’t get the chance to make a #notallmen argument to some frustrated lady they don’t even know. Simmer down, hotshot — you’ll have plenty of opportunities to get into that argument before all is said and done.

By the way, shout out to dudes still cruising each other at the YMCA over 40 years after the Village People sang about it. We always approve of keeping it old-school around here.

Do whatever you feel, Virginia.

Turn Back Into A Baby For Salem Kroger Teresa (Roanoke, Virginia)

If it truly was possible, I would physically transform back into a 8 month old baby for the Salem Spartan Square Kroger Teresa. I would enjoy her being a lot taller and stronger than me.

Oh the unnecessary fear

All I know is I need to tell you how I feel.
Everytime I see you it feels like I’m going to vomit my embarassing infatuation all over that blue sweater you always wear.
But it will compromise everything.
This isn’t meant for you to read I just need to say it.
I just don’t know how I’ll cope with any answer besides yes.
So say yes. Ok?

U had an egg plant (Chesapeake)

You had an egg plant when at the auto store. You commented on the car.

You’re my boss…

For a thousand reasons, I can never say this to you. Because you’re my boss. Because you’re straight. Because you’re my friend. But I know I don’t hide it as well as I should when I’m around you. You have to know that you drive me fucking crazy. When you flirt with me, I want to call your bluff and show you how you make me feel. I want to make you forget about Him. But….I’ll just continue to be your chivalrous, reliable friend while I’m waiting for you to make a move…

West Park publix (Henrico)

Damn dude…..you were fine..saw you coming out of Publix to your black truck….I know you saw me checking you out.

I’d do anything.

Into dudes?

Woman customer at Taboo on Patterson (Richmond west end)

You were purchasing some toys and I was behind you in line. Left my wallet on the car. You were beautiful and I wanted to say hello, but thought it may come across creepy in that venue. Say hello if you want.

New Year’s resolution! Finding a female friend with nice feet (Hampton Roads)

Everyone has a New Year’s resolution, everything from losing weight, saving money, or making a major purchase. I am searching for a mature woman who I can be friends with and also massage and admire her feet. I know, it’s a little out of left field and some are thinking “One of those guys who likes feet.”. I am being honest as I work a lot and would love to find someone who is doesn’t mind being friends with a guy who likes feet. Feet don’t have to be all done up and perfect, race doesn’t matter, and size doesn’t matter. So if interested, and yes their are perks to this friendship, please email me. I am not looking for anything more than that, I wish there was a proper channel to post an ad like this, but I do believe that their is someone who can make my one of my New Year’s resolution come true. If interested please email me, if you have constructive criticism please email me, if you have questions than please email me. Happy New Year’s!!!!

To the lady ranting about men (Va beach)

Your post got flagged..go figure. Would love to discuss your post further…give a mans perspective so to speak. Not hitting on you or anything just conversation.

G Ma where you at? (Richmond)

Hey

I gave you a ride to your brothers house from the Satellite Bar Restaurant one rainy night. We were suppose to meet again the next day but i couldnt make it. I remember you said your grandbaby called you G Ma. Hit me up.

looking for love

Looking for a woman to get to know and grow with. Please be single and real.

Re: Walmart Sunday (Mechanicsville)

Any chance you can give initials? Help a guy out if he is being cheated on.

Rachel from Great Clips (ODU)

Had an interesting haircut. Thought you were cute and that we had some chemistry. Maybe I’ll hear from you?

McDonald’s Buckingham Saturday Morning (Buckingham,Va)

You were ahead of me and paid for my order. I would have like to thank you in person but was nervous. I appreciate it greatly and it really made my morning. Wish I could have done something to return the happiness. Well doubt you see this but however if you do and would like to respond let me know what type vehicle I was in. I like your beanie also looked nice on you. You were in a SUV.

Heathsville Food Lion (Heathsville VA)

Hello,

You are a young lady with dark red hair that works at the Food Lion in Heathsville Va. You were working on Saturday evening and we spoke as you were getting off work. Say hi if you would like to chat.

Hope to hear from you….

Winking at the ymca (Downtown)

Hey we stare at each other at the gym.. your like 6ft3, & work out at night.. hit me back if you see this!!

Volvo C70 at Starbucks (Willow Lawn)

Saturday morning at Starbucks. Let’s get our coffee together next time.

Harris Teeter Portsmouth intense connection

Me: slim brown skin blk male. You:(cashier)slender caramel blk female with a smile and eyes to die for. I ventured into your store twice around Halloween.The second visit, we had an intense connection but we didn’t talk..I would love to hear the sound of your voice. Tell me who I was with or what I had on

Harris Teeter M4F (Greenbrier Pkwy)

Saw you in the self check-out line, you got a beautiful smile and very kind looking eyes. We talk for a moment and I told you I was from out of town. It was nice to speak to you, since I don’t know anyone in the area. Wondering if maybe you would like to grab a drink. This was about 6 p.m. I’m going to be here for two months, would love to find someone nice to go and do things with. I didn’t see a wedding ring; I wasn’t sure if you were single or not. The smile and the eye contact was really nice 🙂 If this is you, and you’re interested, please reach out I’d love to hear from you.

Where’s my mechanic? (Fredericksburg)

Wondering where my mechanic went? Been a few weeks since we have seen each other. Know your at a new place but please swing by the store one day. I’m missing you and hope your doing well.

SonaBank Mechanicsville

There this morning, complimented you on your hair. You are very beautiful.. made my day

Ashland Wal-mart Godiva choc

If you see this (Godiva lady)I would like to talk more about chocolate and other interesting topics. I just didn’t have time that day…….seeking older woman FWB email me

Mz. Dime (Richmond)

Almost positive you won’t see this. But anything at this point is worth a try. We see each other almost every morning. We’ve spoken but never a full conversation. But I believe we are feeling the same feelings. If this is you(female) what color car do I be in. I really hope you see this,we could make magic happen.

Looking for a Deaf Woman from past (Richmond Va)

I am interested in finding her or getting any information about her wherabouts. We both worked at Relax-a rama in Richmond some years ago. Lost touch and since she cannot hear I had no way to communicate w her. Any way she was married to a deaf man and I don’t know where she lived. I’d like to see her again . If you know any one that fits this description get her to respond to this ad. She will remember.BTW her name is Aileen

Line dancer (Chesapeake)

I briefly dated a friend of yours over the summer. You’re a line dancer at a local bar. 20’s white female, curly dirty blonde hair, light blue eyes, freckles, cute smile and just stunning. I’ll honestly never forget the day we met at that concert (can you tell me which one?).

Anyway, you’ve been crossing my mind recently. I would have loved (and still would like to) take you out on a date to see what would have happened. The people we were seeing weren’t compatible with us but I wonder if we were? Take a chance?

Lowes cutie (charlottesville)

You work at lowes and your name starts with an H, you are short and thick. I am a customer and my name starts with M. I always made a point to come to your register so we could talk. We know each other by first name. I haven’t seen you in a bit but know you still work there. I have something I would like to talk to you about…

Welcome to another installment of Missed Connections, where this week we learn that cutting your finger so bad you end up in the ER means you definitely know how to have fun! Does your nurse want to have fun with you? Or has she seen too many trainwrecks while she’s on shift to even consider it? You’ll never know if you don’t post!

We’ve got a lot more knowledge coming this week as well, from a word association test for which I’m bummed not to have the answer key, to the shocking revelation that kik users can be poetic. Never saw that coming.

Plus, we’ve got a surprising amount of interest in socks (I’m blaming the cold weather and the high number of foot fetishists on Craigslist), grown men falling in love with the babysitter, and a whole bunch of Walmart shoppers. Considering we all just paid for the holidays, though, I suppose we’re all Walmart shoppers these days.

Get those bargains, Virginia.

Cut finger (ER)

To the nurse that tended to me, I figured what the hell…. I like to have fun, and I know you do too! Interested in throwing some back and getting into something??

Word test for men

If you know what these have in common please contact me!

Churchill, vand, foot, cap, gordo, realm, griffin.

Only some will know!

Feeling Lost (Matoaca)

Just wanting to chat. Been feeling down for the past few days. Tired of the dating scene. I’ve lost hope that there is someone out there for me

Wegmans

It takes a warm smile to make a man melt in this weather. Thank you for brightening my afternoon.

Wegmans Midlothian (Midlothian)

I was at Wegmans this afternoon and made eye contact with a beautiful redheaded woman. We ran into each other a few time and exchanged smiles. You were wearing a baseball style shirt. I’d love to chat, maybe have coffee. 

Two days in a row (RVA)

We’ve made eyes two days in a row at different spots, groceries and coffee, I saw you drive away both times without saying hi. Let’s make it three in a row 

Bought your socks (Midlothian)

We met for coffee….you didnt like coffee…rather you preferred tea. I bought your socks. I wanted to buy more but got cold feet. No pun intended. Still there? Tell me something so I know it is you. 

Sock and barefoot run

Im looking for a few women to go run with me in barefeet or socks. For info please message.

Time for a change (Chesapeake)

Do you feel taken for granted ? Yeah , me too. I used to look forward to my day , I’d get up with a smile on my face and a skip in my step. But my situation doesn’t allow for that anymore. I’m made to feel unwanted and unheard. My voice doesn’t matter anymore. And , for some reason , I’ve sat around and done nothing about it ! Now is the time for change. I know my smile is out there somewhere , do you have it ?

You were my sister’s babysitter (Moyock)

Thank you for watching them so we could go to a birthday dinner.

You and I can go together next time.

Tell me that it’s over, now that you have found me

Going out with a bang
Meet me in the morning, wrap your arms around me
Tell me that it’s over, now that you have found me
Walk me to the river, see the willow bowing
Carry me into the water, now we’re drowning
We’re going out with a bang
We’re going to go home again
kik me angieguess

Walmart – Sunday night (Charlottesville)

Long time no see..could not talk but so wanted a hug and just go off….and be alone.

We used to meet in Louisa…

Hope you see this and reach out…

I’m a guy..your a guy…

Great to see you again!

Saw you at the Walmart on 29 North (Charlottesville)

I was there on Saturday. You’re cute, my guess is you’re in your 30s, or maybe even your early 40s but if so you’re in great shape! We were in the aisles between the groceries and the electronics section. I admit I shopped for some things I didn’t need, just to check you out. We passed each in the aisles a couple of times, and you smiled and we both said hello, but we kept walking past each other. That’s where I messed up. I should have chatted and seen if you were interested in meeting up somewhere later.

I know it’s a long shot that you’ll see this, but if you do drop me an email and maybe we can meet up for lunch, a drink, a hike, or whatever you’d like to do.

Bowtie Beauty

This is for the sexy ass girl with the sexy truck at Target. I was parked next to you and we joked about how tight the parking spaces are. I bet they aren’t the only thing that’s tight. I’d love to meet up and climb up in that truck and show you a good time.

Jazz

Saw you in southside. You said your name was Jazz. I wanted to ask you out, but you were on the phone. You are absolutely gorgeous and I would love to get to know you better.

Kellyn…my Lyft passenger (Richmond)

I dont know if you were Kellyn or not, that’s just who requested the ride. But you were the blonde that sat in the front seat. We talked about the waffle house challenge. I dropped you and your friends off at Siné. You are gorgeous. Like seriously gave me butterflies when you got in the car…that beautiful. I doubt you’ll even see this but I thought I’d give it a shot. Hope you and your friends had a good night and got home safe.

Nate the great (Dinwiddie)

Nate have not heard from you in while. I missed you before you went to a recovery center. Forgot to tell you I was the artist. I want to make this life up to you I am brought on to you.

Continental on Grove outside (Goochland)

You were setting outside when I came in and set next to you thought you were Beautiful and then you left 🙁

Bike girl on river trail by YMCA (Waynesboro)

You were a very pretty girl sitting on a bench near the YMCA end on the river trail with your feet over your bicycle messing with your phone. I was in jeans and a blue tshirt with an NES ball cap, walking with my friend, her white and black dog, and her son riding a razor scooter. Thought our eyes met for a sec and we both kinda smiled and giggled. Wish I had the time to stop and say hi, ask your name and if you wanted to go out sometime. Maybe we still can? Contact me please.

Sexy short jogger

We passed each other today (on foot) and you exclaimed, “Look! There’s a rainbow!”. If you’re single and interested in fooling around, respond with the name of the street in the subject. Hope to hear from you.

Cable Install

You installed my cable. Bear guy here but you were flirty or so I thought. Love to talk more.

Chesterfield Courthouse (Chesterfield)

To the young lady in the black and white plaid dress getting into your car, very sexy smile. You made my day. Wish I could see that everyday.

Beautiful big boob blond at Kroger (Mechanicsville)

Omg, love your big boobs, my kinda of gal!! Let’s play!! Discreet, tall and hung

Sexy blonde in the skull shirt (Forest Hill)

We chatted about your pet today. Oh my goodness you are hot 💋. Only my being at work kept me from asking you out…

Zumiez Chesterfield Towne Center F4M (Chesterfield, VA)

You work at Zumiez and have glasses with a clear frame. You are considerably younger than me, but I wouldn’t mind having a drink or two with you…..

Ashland Wal-mart Godiva choc

If you see this (Godiva lady)I would like to talk more about chocolate and other interesting topics. I just didn’t have time that day…….seeking older woman FWB email me

Saw you at Little Caesars (Colonial Heights)

You were the girl getting out of the passenger side of a vehicle to go into Little Caesars in Colonial Heights this past Tuesday evening. You had light colored hair (blonde or light brown I think) and you were wearing tights. You were really pretty. I’m the guy who got into the driver’s side of the car next to yours. You and I smiled at each other a couple of times. If this sounds like you and you remember me, send me a message.

You prefer baseball (Norfolk)

We met in the gym and you said you preferred baseball when I asked if you wanted me to leave to football game on TV. It was fun meeting you, would love to chat more. I’m a guy and you’re female…

Tarrant’s (23227)

A super nice waiter. Didn’t have him, but cute and charming. We talked at the front.

Young lady at C&F bank, Varina (Varina/ Sandston)

I’m looking for a young lady that was at the C&F bank in Varina a few weeks ago. You were driving a older honda, dark green with a spoiler on the back. I can remember your smile as you were leaving. I would love to chat, hope somehow this works!

Patient 1st (Mechanicsville)

You were seated on the parking lot side of the waiting area not far from the front door. You had on jeans and uggs. You look to be 20. Tall and thin. Black I stopped in front of you to get your attention but you were texting. Hit me back so we can chat.

crabby/We broke up a couple years back (virginia beach)

You- military, tall, impatient, from a small town

Me-civilian, used to be wild, from a smaller town

I have been having dreams lately of you. Since we don’t speak anymore it worries me. You have a job in the navy that would worry anyone who cared about you. I’m afraid that the dreams are some weird indication that you are in trouble. I know its none of my business anymore but I woke up this morning sobbing, fearing that you were dead. We have both moved on so I guess there isnt much to say other than I pray you’re alive and well but equally I miss you and hope you’re miserable. btw your biggest pet peeve when it came to me was among the things I’ve tried to change since we split and thanks to you it almost got me killed. So clearly I am not meant to be a punctual person. I know we both prefer country but if you ever get a chance and you want to give me 5 mins of your time again, listen to Rush- by Lewis Capaldi

-someone who still loves the past