Best of VA Missed Connections December 9 – December 15

by | Dec 14, 2020 | RICHMOND NEWS, WTF?!

It’s another week of Missed Connections, and with the weather growing ever colder, it seems like we’re all getting pretty quirky these days. This week brings us freaks who want their ears massaged by a hot barber and lightly-endowed gentlemen seeking those with similar attributes (or lack thereof). How crazy are we all going to be by March?

Only time will tell, but we won’t have to wait to hear from the straight dudes who are tired of women and just want to bond with the bros (perhaps sexually). Then there are the REI-shopping hipsters, the Pearl Harbor cannoneers, and the urine screeners. They’ve all got their charms, but here at RVA Mag, we’re holding out for the anonymous angel in the Starbucks drive-thru line. Mama needs a free hot chocolate, folks — hook it up.

This week’s crop of posts gets a little coy at times when it comes to LGBTQ identities — which, as one poster points out, is nothing like the old days. But in the end, none of it really matters, because one guy wants us to know that he’s just flagging EVERYTHING from now on. RIP CL MCs? Guess we’ll see.

Don’t stand under the mistletoe with anyone else but us, Virginia.

Barber, Hair Stylist for men (Henrico)

Barber whose fist name starts with S, who is so thorough, even massaging the ears, incredibly gentle and thorough, stimulating, please respond if you see this.

Mistle toes for Xmas (Charlottesville)

In need of female to assist in toe admiration this holiday season. Your help in making sure that mistle toes are properly given the attention they deserve would be most appreciated.

Venting (Henrico)

ANSWER ME THIS. MILITARY GUY WAS STATIONED OVERSEAS BEEN GONE FOR A YEAR AND 4 MONTHS. CAME HOME TO FIND OUT MY WIFE IS IN A WHOLE NEW RELATIONSHIP. OF COURSE SHE GOT LONELY. SHE KNEW MY CAREER PATH B4 WE GOT MARRIED. SO BASICALLY ANY FEMALES INTO MILITARY GUYS…THAT WANT TO LET ME VENT IN PERSON….FYI…THIS JUST HAPPENED LAST WEEK…

Lil Bros (Richmond)

Any other guys like me with a small one? Curious about experiences and down to get together and have some fun if there is interest. Probably best if you’re under 50.

Handsome white gent looking for nipples (Laurel)

Very handsome, professional, clean-cut, athletic and fun caucasian gentleman here looking to give your beautiful nipples all the attention they want/deserve. I won’t push for anything more either – I promise! For what it’s worth, I recently recovered from a mild case of COVID so you won’t find anybody safer than me 🙂

Females only please – thx!

my name was spelled wrong. would like to see you again (REI)

you: very cute, were working REI cash register around 4:30pm on monday 12/7, wore avett brothers t shirt

me: bought bike chains, wore glasses, black beanie, red flannel. my name is misspelled on my REI account. you and i found this funny

thought: you seem very nice and cool and i’d love to chat more through our PPE and see how we feel about that. email me with how my name was wrong if you see this!

Pearl Harbor Day (Manassas)

The Lord of the mountains is also Lord of the valleys.

Orrlikon cannons belched hot lead from the deck of the mighty ships moored to great effect.

BB-62, like a true lady, would not be denied her glorious destiny.

Red Kia Soul at Starbucks Drive-Thru on Volvo-Battlefield (Chesapeake)

You were in front of me at the Starbucks drive-thru on Volvo-Battlefield driving a red Kia Soul and you generously paid for my order. I just wanted to say thank you so much for doing that! Especially when I was having a bad mood. Have a Merry Christmas!

I miss old Craigslist.

I miss old Craigslist is all it’s gay MFM glory. Email me, Let’s talk about it.

Friend of Dorothy (Hampton Roads)

Missed you at the coming out party ! Hope you are well ! Didn’t recognize many people because of the masks . Looking forward to the times when can be out and about with no masks .

Something different (Richmond)

Just wondering if there are any other dudes out there just tired of women and curious for something different. Don’t care if you’re with a woman currently or just got over a relationship with a woman and now think maybe there is something else out there that might be better. Maybe a new type of friendship especially now. This will only work if you’re in The Fan or West End for the most part. Looking for a real guys that are looking to have that best friend shit that we use to have in college, before life got too real. Let’s talk.

Please give some details if you decide to reply.

Pretty nurse (Salem)

Was at urine screen on Friday morning. You were new and was going through process on computer. Very pretty blonde. Would like to know you!

Just Found Something of Yours (Off East Rio Rd.)

I was going through my stuff the other day cleaning house and discovered some unusual hardware that definitely doesn’t belong to me. I don’t know who you are, or if there was more than one of you, since I have had a lot of work done here. Please let me know if you read this ad and remember. Maybe I can help give you a clue.

Ash on OKC (Charlottesville)

Hey- it’s really one for you!

I’d love to hear about your religious studies dissertation- I’m no theology scholar but I did go to a Jesuit university that required a couple classes.

Almost sent you a message on OKC but figured this would be a little more interesting 😉 Hope to hear from you!

If I can’t post here, nobody can post here

Flagging douche bags. I’m gonna flag all the ads from now on. My real missed connection lasts 2 minutes on here ever time. You all are gonners.

Top Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

RVA Staff

RVA Staff

Since 2005, the dedicated team at RVA Magazine, known as RVA Staff, has been delivering the cultural news that matters in Richmond, VA. This talented group of professionals is committed to keeping you informed about the events and happenings in the city.




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