May is heating up, and once again we find ourselves with a bumper crop of Missed Connections. The indubitable star this week is a middle-aged dad who’s out there living that American Beauty life — and not in a good way. But the rest of you who are getting out there and meeting people with no connection to your immediate family… don’t get us wrong, you’re still hella entertaining too!
Like the young lady who is using the Missed Connections to try to get someone to buy her a video game. I’ve heard of using Tinder to get someone to send you a pizza, but this is a new one. Also, speaking as a book nerd myself, it’s tough not to root for anyone who flirts with girls in vintage dresses by talking about L. Frank Baum. I also can’t help but appreciate the open-mindedness of someone who is willing to make a Missed Connection for a person whose gender they weren’t sure of.
Finally, a big shoutout to the big-box home improvement stores out here trying to take Wawa’s crown as meetup spot of choice. Must be a spring thing.
Get out there, Virginia.
Since I know that I most likely won’t run into my missed connection on here, I thought I’d at least put it out there. It’s probably about as close as I’ll get to the real thing.
In reality, my daughter has a friend that comes over from time to time. Maybe once a month, maybe once a week. They hang out from time to time, and when she comes over, she makes little flirty jokes. When I tell my cheesy “dad” jokes, she laughs. I want to pull her aside so bad, but I know I can’t. I know that either a. I’m reading too far into her flirty behavior, or b. if she told my daughter, all hell would break loose.
So since I’ll most likely never run into my daughter’s friend in real life, why not put it out there? If you like dad types and have a similar interest, let’s chat.
I saw you for the first time behind the counter today when I came in. You had a maroon 40’s style dress on, and we were talking about L. Frank Baum and old books and movies. If you see this and remember and maybe want to go out sometime I’d love to take you out. Couldn’t get you out of my head the rest of the day…
We were in the line at Wawa and you told me you like my sandals and polish. You were cute, let’s hangout and I’ll let you rub them. Mention what color my polish was so I know it’s you and tell me a little about yourself.
I see you on Grove Ave. between Blvd. and Meadow-ish (idk the streets exactly, it’s in the Fan) around 10:30a most mornings. You must work at a daycare center because you are always pushing a car-cart with a bunch of cute preschoolers. You’re tall, tan, and absolutely gorgeous.
You never look at me, I’m always riding my bike. I first noticed the kids, I love kids. But one day I noticed you. If you see this, look for a guy wearing spandex haha. I hope we can connect one day.
I see you out from time to time at places like the grocery store, the home improvement store, gas station all right near my house in Hanover so I guess maybe we must live close to each other. You’re somewhere in your mid-50s, incredibly handsome, beefy/stocky build and always well dressed and well put together. I’ve always admired you from afar as I am shy as it is and you’re handsome look intimidate me although I am considered attractive as well. I’m sure you wouldn’t ever be on here looking at these ads but I feel like I should put this out here in case you’ve also noticed we keep crossing paths.
YOU CASHED ME OUT TODAY ABOUT 340 PM IN LANE ONE, THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME WE HAVE TALKED, I HAVE TO SAY I THINK YOUR CUTE AS HELL!!!
YOU DELIVERED MY PIZZA, WINGS AND SODA LAST NIGHT, YOU MADE A COMMENT ABOUT MY DOG THAT I THOUGHT WAS NICE, YOU SEEM REALLY COOL AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOOD LOOKING GUY, IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK HIT ME UP
Met the cutest guy today near Stony Point while I was out shopping solo. Had the cutest smile and was so nice. Not sure what cologne he was wearing but when he walked up behind me that was the first thing I noticed. We talked about Richmond, where he went to school while waiting for our coffee. They got my order wrong and he suggested something else and it was good. He then commented on my smile and I swear, I almost died. I wish I would have been brave enough to ask him for his number but I was so scared (cause I’ve never approached white men in my life :(). And I rarely know any white guys that are into black women – well, at least not the type I am attracted to like him – kinda WASPy, preppy, but down to earth. I know he mentioned he worked downtown. Had so many thoughts running through my head as I got on the Amtrak back to D.C. Damn. Hope I cross paths with him again. Ugh. Gorgeous.
I am a gamer chic and I want to get the new Zelda for Nintendo switch. My m0m will not get it for me and I am not waiting any longer. U must be cool and nice. I am in the Carrollton area. Hit me up 🙂
You were a beautiful darker girl hiking up humpback rock trail with a friend, I was hiking down, but more like hopping down from rock to rock. You stopped and watched me pass with a big smile on your face. I wanted to stop and say hi, but my momentum kept me going downhill.
If you’d be interested, we could meet up for lunch sometime or go on a hike somewhere with friends?
You were in a blue mini in the back seat with a couple friends, I was parked next to you in an SUV. I should have said something to you. What did you do that made me smirk?
It was about 1:30pm this past Wednesday when you passed by me. Tall blond in a skirt a d not sure if you were a female or male. I am very interested.
You were sitting in the car next to me and noticed I was struggling to push my car in Lowe’s parking lot. You offered to help. You pushed my car and explained to how to jump it. It worked! You were wearing an orange shirt. Let me get you a drink to thank you.
You were helping load plants and mulch. Bulging muscles and nice hair. A hot black man. I would be interested in getting to know you better.
We just chatted in line would love to buy you a drink 🙂
You helped me get what I was looking for . You are smart and cute and know your way around
let me buy you a cold one and show you how much I liked what I saw.HMU and tell me what you helped me find so I’ll know it’s you. SO CUTE
We pretty much had a bromance right there on aisle 7 lol. You like my sneakers (lime green soccer shoes) and we got in a conversation about running/working out at the Planet fitness on Robious & both purchasing fixer uppers and doing some of the work ourselves but not trying to spend all summer doing it. You walked over and we both grabbed a push mower too.
You seemed like you were trying to find out how to take it further but man I was just in the “I aint trying to vibe with no dude” head space. I should have just holler’d at you man. I don’t really have any other outlet to run across dudes I may be interested in. Just not interested in dudes whose sexuality sexuality is a thing. Just too much for me. Too, not too many seem to be interested in vibing and building. I am.
Thought I may run across you at the gym but haven’t. If you see this shoot me a message bruh. Lets grab some sushi at the spot we mentioned or meet up at the park for a workout! I keep my rope and weight in the car lol.
You took a picture of me and my Marine buddy out on the deck of the Boathouse. I joked you had a gift for photography. I wish I could have chatted with you some more.
We were both at the Y from nine forty five until appx. ten forty five on Tues, April 30th. You had your daughter with you and I had my baby with me…we both dropped our kids off in the childcare center. We kept crossing each others paths ( even parked close to eachother ) and had a moment where we were crossing paths in the hallway and locked eyes. If it’s you, tell me the kind of car you were driving.
interesting you want someone to show you love, but all you do is push people away.
Just talking to you, our great conversation. Your big boobs hanging out.
I just miss you. Let’s get back together.
I was sitting in my truck just enjoying myself. You and your wife were there for a walk. Im pretty sure you knew what I was doing. Is that why you lingered so long before going on your walk? I did enjoy the view and I did finish just so you know. Wanna get yours?
I miss seeing that woman at the park who wore the low cut top, your tits would fall out and you did not care. Just kept walking like it were nothing.