Contributors here at RVAMag read extremely large amount of missed connections every week to bring this column to you, but this week’s take the cake for just being the most fucking creepy batch in a long while.
Normally, one or two questionable posts rear their ugly heads, but this week most everything I’ve got is depressingly creepy.
There are people following strangers around retail stores, analyzing their spouse’s texts, hitting on retail workers, jerking off in their cars (and others asking if the woman who saw it wants to watch them jerk off in their cars), asking for nudes of someone they haven’t met, vaping, and stealing other’s items just to talk about it on fucking craigslist.
Witness the creepy on this week’s best of missed connections. (Also witness one guy who refuses to be audience to the creepy.)
Edo’s you left your umbrella. Happy Birthday
You left your umbrella tonight at EDO’S. I was behind you. Want it back? Hope it was a nice birthday.
Re: Edo’s you left your umbrella. Happy Birthday – m4w (Edo’s Squid)
If you saw a lady leave her umbrella and instead of stopping her and letting her know you took the umbrella yourself so you’d have an excuse to talk to her about it on Missed Connections, you’re a complete slimeball.
Trader Joe’s – Purr More, Hiss Less – m4w
You – blonde in the silver Subaru. Me – black hat & mustache. Not sure why I didn’t say anything. Let’s go out.
car ride – m4w (prince george)
I just gave you a ride to the corner and back and couldn’t help but notice you weren’t wearing a bra. Wanted to see what you weren’t covering up but didn’t have the guts to ask you. If you want to show me let me know. Send a picture so I know it’s you, one of your face though.
Guy in the blue Chevrolet- updated – w4m (Gaskins rd)
You were choking that thing like it owed you money. Damn I wish that light was longer.
Update: Guys, you don’t get it. Just because I watched a guy masturbating at a stop light, doesn’t mean I want to watch you. The turn on was just looking over, and seeing this guy please himself. I don’t even think he knew I saw him.
My wife and her ex – m4w (Richmond)
I think I’m about to have a missed connection between my wife and her ex. Y’all know what this means. A few weeks back I saw her deleting text messages from her phone but she didn’t notice I was paying attention. I did my investigation and found out she was talking to her ex months ago and never told me. If I was caught doing the same thing she would have went through the roof. I saw his first inappropriate message to her and her playful response back to him. You think a married woman would not encourage that. So now her ex has flat out asked her a totally inappropriate question. I know they have talked over the phone. So now I get to sit back and worry every fucking day about what she does and who she talks to. Maybe she will do the humane thing and just cut ties with me and move on with her life. Of course I’m not going to say anything to her. I want to see if she has the balls to tell me the truth.
Woman who caught my eye – m4w
We were crossing paths when you caught my eye. I looked at you and grinned. You made a grimace and turned away, picking up your pace to escape me. I followed you for four blocks as you tried to get away, crossing busy intersections with oncoming traffic and making a call on your phone. Just before I was able to catch up to you someone grabbed me and held me back. I watched you jump into a cab heading south. I would really like to finish what we started. Tell me what you were wearing and where the cab took you so I know it is you.
Short Pump Kroger brunette – m4w – 44 (United States)
You were the beautiful brunette (light brown hair) shopping in Kroger today, wearing a white and green skirt.
I was the guy smitten by you, but not sure what to do about it.
We made eye contact a few times, you seemed to smile a little, but looked away. Shyness? Disinterest? I wasn’t sure, so moved along.. Now, I wish I had been more bold….
I know the odds are you won’t read this, but just in case, would love to chat.
OGPANDA – m4m
I didn’t catch your name, but I think that’s what your license plate said. Baby, you gave me the sweetest blowjob I’ve ever had. Not to mention the rimming. I’ve never had anyone go that far downtown on me in the place we were. I’d really like to do it again some time. We can just meet up there or maybe come back to my place so we can relax a little more.
Tell me the name of the place where we met up and one other thing you remember about me so I know I’ve got the right guy. Or just send me a pic of that sweet little mouth.
EGYPT in Petersburg – m4m – 40 (petersburg)
age : 40 body : hwp height : 6’4″ (193cm) : off crater rd near Ace hardware and Walmart
Lost contact with you because i lost my old phone. You would suck me off good from time to time during the day before you went to work. We would meet a few times a month and I’m looking to hopefully reconnect…if you see this or are in touch with Egypt, please respond. I miss that damn good mouth!!
vaping at Wawa – m4w – 38 (staples mill rd)
We were both in the parking lot at the new Wawa on Staples Mill Rd and Bethlehem. I watched you masterfully handle a refill on your RDA while I was vaping myself. As you pulled out I caught your eye and we gave each other that smile and wink that comes from people who are in on the same experience. Would love to meet you, trade vapes, and learn how you got into dripping. Don’t see many experienced female vapers around these parts.
Leg press more than 20 plates of 45lb – m4m – 20 (Vcu gym)
To the super swole guy wearing white tee and grey sweatpants, man everyone at the gym was mirining you. You looked amazing. The more than 20 plates of 45lb on leg press you were doing made everyone I meant everyone looking at you.
Would like to have you as trainer man.
Nice physique and nice booty 😉
