Best of VA Missed Connections December 23 – December 29

by | Dec 28, 2020 | RICHMOND NEWS, WTF?!

Welcome to Missed Connections in Richmond, Virginia, where the once-fertile fields of Craigslist are drying up to the point that we are now harvesting choice morsels from neighboring DC. OK yes, this is the kind of thing I once said I’d never do, but when people are engaging in amusing hyperbole over the receipt of an anonymous coconut, you can’t blame me for seeking to pass this entertainment on to you.

Closer to home, we’ve got a fair amount of classic RVA quirkiness, from skilled laundromat veterans to high-heeled women checking each other out in Kroger checkout lines. And of course, the inscrutability of the literarily impaired always makes for the sort of interesting zen koans that are always the best part of Craigslist. We scored one of those all the way from Radford this time, and you know as well as I do that that’s even farther away than DC.

At the end of the day, we all do what we must in order to stay entertained in these, the last lonely days of the worst year any of us have lived through. Just promise me one thing, though, y’all — if you’re gonna go streaking, you can take every other stitch of clothing off, but keep the mask on. That’d be the stupidest way to catch COVID ever, you know?

Don’t break the oath, Virginia.

Lost dog (Radford)

Got loose at the park
White male medium size doesn’t bite

You mailed me a coconut (Washington, DC NW)

You, a mysterious stranger or friend who happens to know my full name/address and appreciates tropical fruits. Audacity to spend $20.80 mailing a whole coconut.

Me, received this fresh coconut in the blue mailer, panic hacked at it to make sure it was a real coconut. Confused and suspicious of this coconut. It was sent from “the Elves of the South Pole”, postal code was from Puerto Rico. No one I know will admit to this tropical message. Are you my hero? Tell me everything.

Lowes (Mechanicsville)

Looking around in wood trim and specialty trim isles. We glanced at each other a few times. I’m interested in meeting.

Warren from the Kroger parking lot… (Barracks)

You were brave to come up to me and say hello… I thought you were cute too but I’m a little rusty at flirting because of Covid. I’d love to continue our conversation 🙂

Kroger middle age ? Women

We chatted in the check out line you caught me admiring from your heels as I said I love wearing heels too. We chatted and laughed. Would love to chat again!

Burning ring of fire

Johnny looking for June

Love is a burning thing and it makes a firey ring

The taste of love is sweet

Merry Christmas, Raven (Arlington)

Gobble, gobble, gobble!

Karen pp apts (Va beach)

Does anyone know a girl named Karen that lives in patriot point apts in va beach. She has a dog named LuLu. I met her at the SPCA in November

Strawberry St Laundry (The Fan)

The woman with the perfect dryer timing… Perhaps you’d like some company for coffee and/or a walk?

Woman at Harris Teeter (Strawbridge shopping center)

We had a pleasant exchange while in line. You had a full cart and I only had a few items. You offered to let me go ahead but I didn’t have a reason to cut in front of you. Im glad I didn’t and enjoyed our small talk.

If you ever were to read this and would like to link up. To make sure its you what did we talk about. You had items in your cart regarding the topic.

Streaking in Scottsville (Scottsville)

It’s about time someone did something to mix it up a bit in this tired old town, Good show

Looking for a man to pose as my date (washington.DC)

I’m already on 3 strikes at work but likely have kept my job extended as a result of claiming that I’m in an abusive relationship with my boyfriend (I’m male as well). Management feels pity for me because of the horrible make believe picture I’ve painted of my personal life. My boss is throwing a socially distanced New Years Eve party on the beach and I’m looking for a large man to pose as my date and during dinner put me in a headlock and throw me to the ground. You don’t have to say a word, just look at me in a menacing way all night while you enjoy free dinner and drinks. I’ll probably yell something like leave me alone Kevin (my fake partners name is Kevin). Free surf and turf as well as open bar for 2-3 hours if you can play along. Let me know if you’ll play along and please don’t expose me…R.J.

I ONCE TOOK A SOLEMN OATH… (Alexandria)

…TO DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION AGAINST ALL ENEMIES FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC. BE ADVISED THAT NO ONE HAS EVER RELIEVED ME OF MY DUTIES UNDER THIS OATH.

Top Photo by Louis Hansel @shotsoflouis on Unsplash

RVA Staff

RVA Staff

Since 2005, the dedicated team at RVA Magazine, known as RVA Staff, has been delivering the cultural news that matters in Richmond, VA. This talented group of professionals is committed to keeping you informed about the events and happenings in the city.




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