Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where… look, it’s too soon to start talking about things “getting back to normal.” We’re still months away from that (Aside: if you haven’t booked your vax appointment yet, go do that shit! This article will still be here afterwards). But people are definitely getting excited about leaving the house again, and that’s obvious this week, from the tales of dog walkers and bike borrowers to the many, many in-store meet-cutes people fail to close the deal on.
But hey, I’m not mocking — after all, without your botched meet-cutes, what would we even have to read week after week? This week finds an electronics shopper back-to-back with a woman they’re too tongue-tied to even speak to, people whistling at possible joggers (hopefully in a non-creepy fashion), hustling to catch up with someone in a mall, and more tales of lovelorn social awkwardness, all for your enjoyment!
One further COVID-related note: if you’re out here offering praise to people for entering a public space without a mask on and “revealing your beauty to the world” or however you want to word it — I’m side-eyeing you, hard.
Don’t jump the gun, Virginia.
Nice Hoodie at Lowe’s 4/25 10am (Forest Hill Ave)
“Nice hoodie,” you said as we crossed paths. I awkwardly replied, “thanks, likewise!” Once you walked past, I said, “nice shorts,” though I’m sure you didn’t hear me!
If you want to compare hoodies and shorts some time, let me know, handsome!
I noticed you walking in & then almost ran you over when you were coming out. Want you to know I don’t generally try to injure beautiful young women 🙂
April with the bright backpack (Charlottesville)
Hey April…enjoyed our conversation at lunch. I headed out a few minutes after you and walked down to the mall area hoping to spot you. You said you didn’t have any plans tonight. Want to make some? If it’s you, I liked that song you had me look up. Tell me what it is again so I know it’s you.
Brunette Wearing Glasses Multicolored Dress at Fairfax Costco Saturday (Fairfax)
You were shopping with your mother/grandmother/aunt early Saturday afternoon (04/24) at the Fairfax Costco wearing glasses and a long multicolored dress. I was about to say hello before time ran out and your shopping partner reappeared…and I didn’t want to bother you. You seemed very sweet. If interested write back.
You are the blue haired stylist wishing for a widows peak – my tip made you smile. I like your eyes…..
Met you today. we talked about the bad muffler sounds. You like a V8.. and your Dream car.. Any Interest in hanging out?
You’re staying at Delta and were walking belle isle yesterday. You mentioned you’d like to borrow a road bike to ride the Capital Trail while here on business — I mentioned this to my husband and he said it would be fine to use his.
Dog Walker, Lake Monticello Neighborhood (Lake Monticello)
Me: Handsome, older, very fit runner with hipster scruff. New to the area. You: Similarly masculine while exchanging a knowing nod and a smile.
If this was you (or if you wish it was you), hit me back and see if we might share interests.
A few days ago I stopped in to the Halifax post office to check my mail and I had a yellow card indicating a package. I went to the window to get the package and at that time a very very very beautiful, sexy, young black lady walked in, she was not wearing a mask nor was I and that allowed me to see her full beautiful face. She was wearing a lightweight black hoodie with the hood up and lime green track type pants with black stripes down the side of each leg, I said hello and she responded with hello and an amazing smile. I left and ran a few other errands before arriving at Walmart and just as I was walking into Walmart this same goddess of a woman was walking out. I regret not striking up more of a conversation with this beautiful girl. I realize no one uses cl anymore but I’m posting this anyway. If I could just see her again.
Gorgeous woman in Books-A-Million (Colonial Heights)
You were with your daughter looking for Octavia Butler. Wanted to talk to you but you were with your daughter and she was adamant about finding a book on Zorro. You are breathtaking.
You passed me and did a slight whistle! I was wearing the pink sweater..leggings and had my hair in a pony tail. You tried to ask if I’m a runner, before my friend interrupted…
Princess Anne Home Depot – Blond Hair Woman (Virginia Beach)
I was in the electronics aisle reviewing extension chords and as I looked up I saw this gracefully beautiful woman enter.. I was struck by her beauty – I’ve not been intimidated by anyone that I can recall in a very long time. So, she stopped and was looking at items on the opposite side of the aisle and we were literally standing back to back. I left the aisle/store and remorsefully regret that I did not tell her of the beauty I saw in her.
Photo by David Marcu on Unsplash
