From singers in cars to rovers from Mars (or was it Venus), Missed Connections this week is out of this world! We’re getting Missed Connections from the jury box, the spaceport, and the DMV these days, which makes me wonder whether a solid year of pandemic-related quarantine has made us all retreat into pure fantasy.
Either way, I’m here for it. And if you’re here for stories of strangely accented smoothie enjoyers and uptight weirdos sending extremely subtle signals to grocery store cashiers, we’ve got a bumper crop for you. Not to mention the dudes who still think about the hairy gym rats they used to run into back in those halcyon days of 2019.
Plus, the ongoing theme of the Missed Connections steadily drifting toward off-label use continues. But don’t worry — this column will never reprint any of the millions of references to clogged pipes and rusty back doors that are a plague on Craigslist.
You can count on us, Virginia.
Car singing cutie (Museum District/Belmont)
We’ve seen each other around a few times, but always in passing and at a distance; somehow there is a glimmer of something we recognize in each other though, despite our never speaking. I think you are a closer neighbor, but am not sure. There is an energy about you.
Today you were singing in your car with the window down at the light of Belmont/Ellwood. I was on a bike. We shared eye contact and a coy smile. A beat later I caught your eye in the rearview.
What color was my jacket? What color was your car?
Congrats on the new shoes, man. Would have chatted more, but had a headache.
Hit me up if you wanna chat more. You asked me where I worked.
We chat frequently. You work behind the counter. (Richmond)
We chat frequently.
You work behind the counter.
I recently heard you tell someone you work for the State of Virginia.
I would love to ask you out. But I don’t.
It’s not fair because you work there. I don’t want to invade your workspace.
Give me a signal. the next time you ask to see my driver’s license. Tell me we should have coffee.
M4F
Tight jeans, brown hair and vest, boots and a nice slow saunter (Target – Short Pump)
You were strolling about Target in a slow and easy manner in your incredible outfit that you wore so well. Long legs are one of many great attributes. I must say you made my day!!
April at Cracker barrel (Mechanicsvlle)
Hey April with the beautiful eyes! Four star server on Saturday around 2 in Mechanicsville. You took care of me and my family and we caught eyes several times and I saw your smile under your mask! Simply gorgeous!
Fun to chat with you about accents outside the smooooothie shop!
You were standing by the Rover… (Mars)
You were standing near the Rover looking like a magnificent spatial spectral. You appeared to be lost- guessing you’re from Venus. Anyway…I believe we made eye contact several times, but was difficult to tell because of the glare on your helmet face shield. Either way, I felt something and hope you did too. Wanted to introduce myself but spaced out. Message me and tell me what color space suit I was wearing so I know it’s you.
Hairy black guy from Crew Club (Arlington)
I used to see you at the Crew Club in the afternoons, autumn 2019. Sometimes you were on your laptop in the lounge. Very hairy, fit black guy. I think you rode a bike. Beautiful smile and eyes.
Sorry I didn’t get your contact info: Crew closed, then C19. I still think of you often.
You: hairy, friendly, fit (apx 5 10, 150#), black guy; probably around 40 (?), with laptop and bike.
Me: white guy, corner room.
HMU if you see this.
Beautiful brunette working at Dunkin (Arlington, VA)
I am looking to say hi to the beautiful brunette working at Dunkin Donuts, who I met this morning. Wish I had stayed longer to say hi and talk, but it was 730am and I had to get to work. Was great meeting you, let’s chat more – sincerely, guy with messed up hair & blue mask.
(I have no idea why my last posting was flagged. Isnt this the point of missed connections?)
Why does every real ad get deleted while all these others stay up?
Please stop deleting real ads
Now the ads are being deleted within 60 seconds of the post
This is ridiculous
I don’t understand
He we go again
Real people
Real ads
Deleted for no reason
Nothing vulgar or inappropriate
Just people deleting for nothing
Wegman’s Fairfax Customer to Cashier (Fairfax VA)
I come to Wegman’s every other evening. Typically buy the samethings – tomorrow’s dinner, and snacks to last a couple of days. We catch each other’s eyes periodically. I’m probably too old for you. But your smile is sincere and your banter is welcoming after a long day. You’ll know it’s me if you ask me if I want my chips in a bag, and I respond no.
Girl in Sheetz off Wellington RD Manassas
You were walking out as I turned the isle to go pay. You had curly black hair going down the back of your amazing body. You had on blue jeans and a white shirt. When I walked out
I saw you driving dump truck from Diaz Trees I believe. My first time ever doing this but I’d like to meet you. If anyone knows who she is hit me up!
Lady needing a ride from the gas station (Fairlakes)
Your Uber left you and you asked for a ride at 7am to your apt. You seemed nice, though you accused me of being a Trump person. Our greeting handshake lingered a bit. If you want to chat let me know.
Saw you in Fairfax wearing orange jumper
Saw you at the Wednesday pre-trial hearing. You were in an orange jumper with matching bracelets on each wrist. I was in the jury box with 11 others that were mostly strangers. You looked over at me briefly while the prosecuting attorney was asking you questions. Were you flirting with me or were you trying to sway my vote? I decided i would vote not guilty by reason of being totally cute. i am not a big fan of lawyers and don’t understand how you got caught stealing a penguin, so think it totally unfair that a SWAT team surrounded your Winnebago with weapons drawn. I prefer watercolors and tend to avoid drawings of weaponry. So according to the defense attorney, you came out of the mobile home with the penguin and the SWAT team lead yells with a megaphone, “Drop the Penguin”, and you yelled back, “Its not loaded”. Its great to maintain a sense of humor in stressful situations. But then you got straight to the point, by shouting, “She needs some fish” which confused the Swat team, but strangely enough the postman heard you from across the street and brought over some pickled herring. the noise and turbulence from the helicopter caused a fair amount of turmoil among the team gathered around your home, but you quickly jumped into the helicopter with the penguin and flew directly to the amphitheater where your sold-out performance was televised and established a first in the genre of penguin-centric jazz. I will keep posting in hopes that you will call me when you are released in 2022.
Top Photo by Nicolas Lobos on Unsplash
