Welcome to this week’s edition of Missed Connections, where we’re gonna start with a bit of pretentiousness from your friendly neighborhood editor. Confidential to poet seeking muse: “wherefore” doesn’t mean “where,” it means “why.” In Romeo and Juliet, Juliet literally said the line “Wherefore art thou Romeo” TO Romeo. She was asking “Why are you Romeo of the Montagues, the family my entire family hates?” She was NOT asking “Where are you, Romeo?” She was looking right at him — she knew where he was. If you want to write something as good as Edgar Allan Poe’s “Annabel Lee,” you should probably learn what words mean before you use them.
Whew. OK, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, keep reading if you want to see the huge divergence in the way two different people will describe almost the exact same encounter. We’ve also got some possibly overzealous pals trying to set their friend up on a blind date without her knowing that it’s happening. Good luck with that one, y’all. And finally, something that’s sure to be the wave of the future: cute random meet-ups at the electric car charging station!
There are even a few truly incomprehensible ads in the mix this week. I’m a sucker for those.
Keep it powered up, Virginia.
Tattooed Brunette at Carytown Kroger (Carytown)
You are the beautiful brunette I let in front of me in the self service line at the Carytown Kroger on Sunday evening. I mentioned that I liked your tattoos and inquired where you got them done. You wished me a good evening as we walked to our cars. I’d love to continue our brief conversation over a cup of coffee or dinner sometime.
cute brunette shopping late (Richmond)
I like how the party girls are already back at it but the cutest girl in town was out getting groceries. Want to reply to a guy on Craigslist? Maybe not, but consider this: we will have been among the last people in the store before the grid goes down (midnight here = noon in Beijing), so we should pool our resources. Eventually, if the human race needs perpetuating, we’ll be set. This is a matter of practicality, and I’m clearly a man of foresight, so the choice is obvious. See ya soon.
Replica of a mustang or white house (Henrico)
I saw you walking inside the store you turned your head side ways and said come here.
After we crossed paths in the isles. You said replica.
Probally be the only person I missed in this world. Please don’t flag this because I am looking for my best friend.
millridge parkway + your dimples (Midlothian)
i was stretching my legs on the bridge, completely oblivious and in your way. then i looked up and saw your smile! me: male, greenish tie dye shirt; you, female, white adidas hat, dimples for days. kismet?
I’ve messed up everything in my life. All the pain and struggle in my life is because of me. I’m sorry I involved you in it. BUT, we made a child that will be better than both of us. He motivates me to be a better person. I will overcome this and someday you will understand me and my pain.
“B@G ASAP” July 1 at 8 Rt. 33 at 29
Something to identify was DR1VE1234. I was trying really hard and if this makes through to the post I wish you a (now) very late July 4th.
Winsome poet seeks his muse. Wherefore art thou, Annabel Lee?
I know this is a really long shot. And I’ve never done this before. But it’s worth a shot as I thought you were nice.
We chatted in the snack area at Costco. I thought you were pretty, nice, and had a great personality. Thank you for the smile.
You were with a friend and I was with a family member so I didn’t try to flirt to hard. That said, after I left I’m now kicking myself as something about you was extra cool.
So if you see this, and if this makes sense I’d love to hear from you. If not hope you have a great day.
Beautiful girl in Jeep with Washington tags (Newport News)
Coming back from the Outer Banks you and I weaved in and out of traffic together. Made the drive home pretty fun.As I exited we both gave each other a wave. Let me know what kind of truck I was in. I hope you see this.
If so, say hello
Posting for a friend: coffeehouse matchmaking
There’s a certain coffee shop off the w o & d trail that my beautiful and amazing friend frequents- we call you tall dark and handsome.
She’s a bit shy, but you should approach. I promise you she’s very friendly and pretty spectacular. At the very least you’ll meet an excellent friend.
If it works we can tell her about this ad later. 🙂
Had fun talking to you at the Nats game.
I wanted to ask for your number but my buddy was there and I didn’t want to be rude since we were going out to help him get over a breakup.
Let me know what I was wearing in the subject line.
Snap Peas Harris Teeter Gainesville
Thanks for your help. The salad turned out great!
Looking for the self-proclaimed nerd with the self-parking car who sat next to me and my friend. Let me know if you plan on charging your car in Merrifield again 😉
Photo by Ernest Ojeh on Unsplash
