Mom’s only got $80 for bail money, but that’s OK, because you just want to have a good time, right? Well, you might find it this week in the Missed Connections… unless you’re driving a red dump truck down Rt. 17. As a good friend of mine once said, “The future of road rage is now.”
Getting back to what you can look forward to in this week’s Missed Connections; if you ever wondered whether the main characters from Frog And Toad Are Friends were secretly in love, you’ll get your answers this week. And if you like nothing more than some donuts after a haircut, you just might have caught someone’s eye.
But of course it’s always the out-of-towners who tell themselves those myths about Southern girls being sweeter. Trust me, guy, every girl is sweeter when her paycheck’s on the line. Using a woman who is at work as the basis for your comparison is always unfair. But if you want to leave a tip, believe me, we’ll all appreciate it.
Stay out of trouble, Virginia.
Saw you twice yesteday (Richmond)
I saw you twice yesterday. I caught you looking the second time. Tell me if you’re interested. I might be.
Was hitting tonight Apr 7th on the 2nd floor with some coworkers and you were our server. Thought I sensed a vibe. You accidentally spilled a beer and some food, but maybe we can recoup the night. What did we decide to nickname the drink(s) that I ordered?
Are you there frog, it’s me toad (Upshur Shire)
I know you don’t usually go to the marsh, but you were there one Friday morning while I was basking in mud. You were wearing brown linen pants and a dark green linen shirt. No shoes. I was wearing brown trousers and was quite muddy on my underbelly.
I know it’s wrong for Toads and Frogs to be together, but we kind of work.
Wish you would come by the marsh more often.
Miss you,
Toad
Starbucks-“Hows it hanging?” (Parham)
Need I say more?:) If its you, hit me up.
Saw you at the Lazy Parrot tonight
You were sitting at the the table right beside my friend and me, I was treating her to dinner for her birthday. You had two girls with you, I believe it was your daughter and one of her friends. We made eye contact a couple of times and left the Parrot right after each other. You told your daughter you only had $80 for bail money if she got in trouble. You looked familiar but not sure if we ever met or chatted before, would love to talk sometime if interested.
Blonde southern Belle, Livy’s icecream (Collinsville)
In the area for the races. To the blonde working on Friday, you are so pretty and the polite southern hospitality is so attractive to me. Especially compared to the snotty, self entitled girls from upstate ny where I live. Everytime I come down south I dream of being able to date a girl like you.
Bridge Crossing Beauty (Burnt Bridge Yorktown, VA)
To:
The absolutely amazingly beautiful brunette woman regularly sitting outside with her older family member enjoying a smoke. Thank you. Your presence at the door when I drive by in the afternoon/evenings is much appreciated. I gathered the nerve to approach you both over the winter…no scotch that night!
If interested, please reply!
Young guy conversation with older gentleman at Mason District Park (Annandale)
You were the very interesting older gentleman that I had a short conversation with at Mason District Park on the bench over by the amphitheater. Friday afternoon around 3pm just before the rain.
You were over fifty, short hair, green sweater and jeans. I was the younger guy, brown hair, blue eyes in the long sleeve shirt and jogging shorts.
We made small talk and you said you lived in the neighborhood. This is a long shot but I thought I caught a spark of interest and I wanted to say it was definitely reciprocal.
Please let me know what we talked about and let’s go for a walk? Or maybe I’ll see you again there soon.
You had the most piercing blue eyes I have ever seen! You are about 6 feet, white, silver hair, and you had on khaki pants. I was the petite woman with a cart full of water. I think you might be worth the climb!
You were at the barber shop with your two sons and I was there with my two kids this past Saturday morning (4/10). We made a few looks towards each other as I sat in the chair but on your way we made eye contact. You couldn’t see my big smile because of my mask but only wish I could have that moment back because I would’ve waived bye to you in hopes that we could’ve exchanged numbers.
You were wearing black pants with a light colored jacket, and one of your sons had just had his hair cut in a mohawk style. You asked them if they wanted get donuts on the way out the door. I hope that you see this and maybe we can connect sometime soon.
Red Dump Truck on 17 and Eustis BLVD (Yorktown)
Congratulations! I honked at you on my motorcycle because you kept drifting into my lane. Your response made for video Gold!
The cussing, the threatening me and opening the door to your truck as if you were going to get out. The best though, was the swerving out of your lane at me on the shoulder and into my lane when we approached Eustis Blvd in the turn lanes.
I bet you shit bricks when you saw me pull over on Jefferson where the Newport News Police vehicle had its lights on.
The nice officers couldn’t really do much other than put a BOLO on your truck and you, but the best part of all of this?
The video camera on my helmet, that video clearly showing you, the name and number on the door to the truck, the license plate on the truck and all of your aggressive driving behind the wheel of that large truck has now been forwarded to the State Police, the DMV and the FMCSA.
In short, enjoy your job while you have it.
Top Photo by George Howden on Unsplash.
