Labor Day has come and gone. Extended unemployment benefits have ended. The Supreme Court killed the eviction moratorium. And COVID numbers are on the rise once again. Depending on your situation, it might just be time to panic.
But for now, let’s escape all that and read the Missed Connections for a bit, shall we? We had to dig pretty deep this week to unearth some gems from the endless sea of “woodworking” puns and requests for “plumbers” to “clear out clogged pipes” and all of the other terrible posts that litter Missed Connections like a Flanders field full of UXO. But we did find a few entertaining tidbits, from dudes who don’t want to hit on someone while they’re with their teenage daughter to people from the hinterlands throwing out names of porn stars, like that’s gonna mean anything to anyone besides your fellow OnlyFans addicts.
Plus, we’ve got married people who ran into each other at a MAGA rally trying to strike up a spark, in case you were wondering about the moral compass of the people you see in the background of Trump speeches on CNN.
Finally, I must say: using a Cadillac to deliver pizza is a bad move. Using a Cadillac that needs regular infusions of oil stop-leak is even worse. Hope the Craigslist market for $500 beaters hasn’t dried up.
Get your motor running (while you can), Virginia.
Asian lady in blue dress at GoodWill (Manassas)
I am an older gentleman with long hair and a long beard (gray) who was not exactly dressed for the occasion. My friend had a last minute appointment along with her teen. I am not one to try and pick up someone with a teenager around. But, for some reason I can’t seem to shake the thought of you. If you would like to be my Queen and let me serve you, it would be nice to hear from you!
Missing my connection with a fun woman – B. I saw (nearly walked into) you shopping with your mom at Famous Footwear in the Ville some time ago. Let’s chat and catch up. It’s been too long. Miss that joker.
Hey thanks for the great service you provided. You are very nice and fast at what you do. You told me you were getting 3 days off and go to school at NVCC. You also told my father about the military discount I’d like to chat more about what you are studying and get to know you. If you see this email me back.
Woman at the Trump Rally (Northern VA)
We met at the Trump rally and talked a little. We’re both married but we had a spark …
Your name begins with T, and your Mom is in va beach (Richmond)
A couple of weeks ago I posted, looking for someone to split the cost of a hotel room for a couple of nights. I need to do that again later this week. Just for you to get away from your situation (as I will be doing) for a couple of days. If you’re interested, be in touch!
A.
Looking for my Korra Del Rio (Yorktown)
I want to get to know you.
Where are you?
Walmart last month (colonial height)
I’ve been meaning to write one these even tho you probably won’t see it. You was in Walmart looking for some oil stop leak. You were having some issues with your car. You drove a Cadillac, which you were using for food delivery. We talked about the car for a min. I couldn’t believe your bf was just sitting in the car, and didn’t come to help you out with that. Smh. I remember you being really cute and small with huge breast. I’m just saying. I hope you see this and contact me. I would like to take you out somewhere sometime and talk some more.
Pizza Delivery Looking for Address Last Night (Elizabeth Lake Hampton)
You were looking for an address and I just happend to see you out front looking, wish I hadnt been so preoccupied and would have been more “hospitable” because I really should have been thinking on my feet and invited you in to look for the address and then was kicking myself in the ass all night lol….and then I wanted to order a pizza just to see you again…in fact still want to….if you are still working out there please let me know id love to be your last pizza delivery for the night and have you in for a nightcap/cocktail little fun and big tip ;)~
cute girl at Cpt Toms (Colonial Heights)
I was in there around 7pm on 9/3, and you where working the to go counter.. you had pink color in your hair but no ring… damn you are good looking and I would love to ask you out and get to know you…
I hope you see this… if you do.. plz write me!
Thanks for the guidance on the bike trail (vienna)
Thanks for guiding me back onto the bike trail in Vienna today. Let me know if you might want to do a ride sometime! Tell me something about me, you and the help you gave so I know its you.
Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash
