Back for another round of Missed Connections, where the real ones know the deal: the week of circa-Labor Day cooler temps is over. Time for another month of sweat-soaked workout clothes and window units running 24/7. We can at least take comfort in the kind of heat Craigslist is bringing this week — the kind that doesn’t actually raise the temperature in your cubicle at all.
Some pretty wild stuff is happening this week, from people trying to get someone who apparently joined a monastery to get back together with them (hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s not happening) to someone who talks about “morning worship” involving a pacifier. Is this post about kinky stuff? I wouldn’t know anything about that… would you?
People are clearly getting back out there at this point, based on this week’s posts originating at Carytown, the Hof, and a Julien Baker show. We’re all sick of the COVID, aren’t we? Hey, if you’re vaxed up, be my guest, but at least try to watch out for distracted drivers… even if they are cute. Those repair bills are a pain.
Drive safe, Virginia.
It’s weas and I miss you. I know we are to full of pride but come back. We both made mistakes. I’m still not over you
Sunday near carytown you were throwing away a basket suitcase & riding a bike wi (near cary town)
I was walking with my daughter early Sunday afternoon a couple blocks from carytown.
You were on your a bike with a brown basket on your handlebar and tossing a basket suitcase in the trash behind your apartment building. We had a brief conversation about the collection of odd artwork in your trash and people watching here in RVA. I should have asked if you’d like to have lunch or coffee sometime. Let me know.
Gorgeous light skin at Hof (Richmond)
You: hanging out with a set of friends on what appeared to be a double date of sorts.
Me: dressed to impress admiring you from a not to distant spot.
Hello beautiful! I was itching to talk to you last last night but you appeared to be on a set-up date of sorts. Idk the guy you were “with”..the body language just told me y’all weren’t together. We locked eyes and exchanged a few smiles, but I wish it could’ve been much more. I think you would’ve had a better time with me for sure!
If you see this respond with the outfit you/I were wearing and hopeful we can go from there if we connect…long shot I know but🤷🏽♂️
You were serving beer and wearing a teal T-shirt. I don’t know if the shirt Was your way of saying you are but for 20 bucks let’s hangout.
Traveling Chic Boutique (Carytown)
To the tall, light haired girl in a full length dress standing outside of the Traveling Chic Boutique this afternoon around 2:30. You were waiting outside for your 3 friends to come out. You were gorgeous and I wanted to come talk to you, but your friends came out before I got the chance. I would love to introduce myself and get to know you!
Girl that ran into the back of my truck downtown (Richmond)
Not sure if you felt the same way but even though you were freaked out after you ran into my truck I thought you was cute. Just looking to talk a little if you are up to it.
We held morning worship sessions at your place (Fredericksburg)
Cobblestone Square.
Great complex, very nice apartment on the 4th floor.
I noticed a pacifier on your nightstand.
You kept going on cruises.
Food Lion Scottsville (Scottsville)
Try this again since my first post was removed.
Saturday on the 11th, I was in Scottsville food lion. Made eye contact with a guy who had dreads and a full beard. About 6ft tall and had an athletic build. Fine af. I was too shy to speak tho. I was wearing black leggings and a maroon shirt. If you see this and are single and wanna chat hit me up.
(If you dont fit this description DO NOT contact me and waste time for either of us pls)
I once had a student who was prudent.
I once had a student who was proud.
I once had a student who was hungry.
I once had a student who was loud.
I once had a teacher who was patient.
I once had a teacher who would scream.
I once had a teacher who wore latex.
I once had a teacher and we’d dream.
9:30 club (Washington, DC (U street))
You were standing in front of me at the Julien Baker show and seemed to enjoy gently backing up and dancing against my um, body, throughout the show. I had glasses and a white facemask. You had great curly dark hair and seemed like you were there with a friend. I meant to connect with you after the show but got separated in the crowd and couldn’t find you outside. Would be fun to meet up at another show (or sooner). Tell me what else you remember so I know it’s you.
This will help determine your level of perversion. For the most accurate result, all replies must specify which points belong to which category. Good luck!
Rough: add 1 point
Public: add 1 point
Betrayal: add 1 point
Role-play: add 1 point
Taboo: add 1 point
Anonymous: add one point
I’m female: add 10 points
I’m a male: add 5 points
*Include your own category: add 15 points
Subtract all of your points if you’re a man impersonating a woman
Sexy Woman at Haymarket Giant (Haymarket)
You: Sexy blond.
Me: Gent in blue dress shirt and tiger-striped mask
Time: about 6pm
I’d hoped to catch you in the parking lot and ask you out for a drink but, didn’t see you. Join me soon?
Sincerely,
Mr. E.
Silver Camry at 711 (Manassas Park)
You were pulling into the spot next to me and I thought you were pulling a spot over and got out of the car and felt dumb. You came inside right after me and smiled an absolutely gorgeous smile and said “Hi” and then “in sorry, Excuse me” as you walked by. I said “No worries” and our eyes just kind of stayed glued together for a few seconds and then I paid for my purchases and went outside and threw the trash out in my car and as I was starting pulling out you came back out to leave yourself.
You are absolutely stunning. I may have gotten caught staring at you more than once, not sure. I didn’t want talk to you and hold you up in the morning if you were heading off to work so I figured I’d try this.
I doubt you’ll see this but if you do and are interested in talking more you can respond to this and we can go from there.
Also please include what we were both wearing so I can be relatively certain it’s you.
I will give $5000 to the charity of choice if this results in dinner. (Northeast)
I was leaving Lowes in northeast today at about 2:50pm when the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen walked out carrying a lamp. She was wearing Leopard print shorts and sports bra.
It was the first time in my life I ever exclaimed out loud instinctually.
If anyone can connect me to her and it result in a dinner, I will give 5 thousand dollars to a charity of your choosing.
No lie. No exaggeration.
Photo by Daniel Harmatiy on Unsplash
