Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where between the pandemic and the cold crappy weather, it seems that none of us ever have any chance encounters with strangers except when we are shopping. You’ll see what I mean as you work through this week’s edition: Walmart, Publix, Kroger, even Crate & Barrel and various smoke shops — they’re all here.
Not only that, we’ve got tales of holiday thievery from years past, memories of long-departed strip clubs, and someone trying to rekindle a brief fling from years ago. When we’re all sitting at home alone night after night, the memories start coming back in a big way. (Look at this photograph…)
In the land of here and now, though, you really shouldn’t be texting and driving — especially since it’s illegal these days. But you should try some of the shaved beef — and for once, we really are talking about food you buy at the grocery store (er, well, I think we are…).
Bundle up, Virginia.
Tall blonde working at Publix (Colonial Heights)
I was zooming through the grocery store on Valentine’s late afternoon. You were working, stocking items in produce. I instantly noticed you. Gorgeous. You said hello to me first. I felt as though I couldn’t engage you in more conversation at the time- customers asking you questions, breaking down boxes, stocking food. After I checked out, I came back to find you but you were gone. I hope this message reached you. Me: tall guy, wearing shorts when it’s too cold for it.
You are the highlight of my day
I am always so happy to see you and or hear your voice. Hemingway cats. The moon landing or not. I always look forward to you.
Purple Hair Bell Creek Walmart (Mechanicsville)
We crossed paths in the parking lot as you entered and as I was leaving. You were wearing a black pencil skirt and I had a gray jacket on. If you’re interested, I’d love to hear from you.
Hi i would like to reconnect with some of the other girls i danced with at the Riverside back in the 70’s and also worked in a couple of massage parlors back in the day
Friday early evening at Kelly’s, you: female, long dark hair, smoking outdoors with a group. Me: male, wearing mask indoors, playing pool. Every time you looked through the window glass, I was looking back. Sure hope you see this!
Stole an Xmas tree from Walmart (Manassas)
Happened Christmas a few years back. Two good friends under the influence of good times.
The cheesecake factory (Fairfax)
Met you at the Cheesecake factory delivery area recently.
Dasher looking for an Asian girl who relays for dashers but doesn’t work anymore.
You never caught my smile because of the mask.
You have such beautiful eyes.
Tall guy pajama bottoms (Manassas)
Hello, yesterday we were both in the frozen aisle at Giant on dumfries rd. You were the tall white guy wearing pajama bottoms and asked me who I thought was going to win the super bowl. I was the black guy. Did your team win?
You were in line in front of me in the electronic department buying a phone card. Grey sweatpants and grey Hurley jacket around 6pm 1/9/21. You and mom was joking around the whole time. It was funny. The 6feet social distancing I didnt say much but I wanted too. I hope you see this cause we should hangout.
You are the guy I me a week ago yesterday shopping at the Crate & Barrel in Clarendon. We chatted a bit and you seemed so friendly. We were talking about different places to look for furniture. I did not have my phone with me so you wrote down my name and number. (Also I want to respectful not put your name on here.). You seemed like you were going to text or call. Anyhow I would like to see you again.
Fun gal I met on Vday yrs ago (South Arlington)
I remember a boring, slow night a couple years ago. Cold like tonight and I remember meeting a fun gal through CL and we decided to hangout and just watch horror movies. It was a fun night and I still remember it, but we never exchanged digits and just lost touch. Was from near me in South Arlington.
Would love to reconnect. Miss the random meet and joking around from the night.
you asked me to not text and drive (McIntyre and 250)
You got me to roll down my window and asked me not to text and drive. I was too distracted to realize you were cute until after I rolled up my window. I was texting my girlfriends because I had just left a shitty date and was upset. You seemed nice. Want to take me on a better date? Respond and tell me what I was driving.
Meat Dept Krogers Frederick Blvd (Portsmouth)
Last week we were at the meat dept at the krogers , you had ordered 2lbs of the shaved beef. We talked about how to cook it etc. YOU ARE HOTTTTT I am at your service. Describe me or what I said when i passed you at another depi.
Miss you picked a nice piece at the shop, I’m glad I met you there and thanks for an awesome conversation. Btw that glass piece you bough looked really nice, hope to use it together someday!
Wish I had ask you for a coffee next door, it was too late when I realized. Oh and your friend is gorges as well.
Hope to hear from you and enjoy some 4:20 together.
Bedroom Preference Music Test (Arlington)
What does music say about one’s intimate physical needs?
Please submit answers to the following questions and I will respond with a brief summary of what you like in the bedroom.
- Are you male or female?
- What is the name of the generation to which you belong, i.e. Boomer, X, Millennial?
- What is one of your favorite song titles and the performing artist?
Please do not include links in your reply. Replies with links will be ignored. One submission per person. All submissions will receive a response. Thank you in advance for your patience.
Sincerely,
Dr. Richard N. Snatch
Top Photo by Benjamin Ashton on Unsplash
