Farting in Walmart may not be the best look, but ratting someone out in the Missed Connections might just be the worst one. Can you imagine the arrogance it takes to attempt to spin that into a meet-cute? Well, if you read this week’s missed connections, you won’t have to. You will get some entertaining reads, though, and not just the one where some dude tries to neg a hot girl about alleged flatulence.
For example, we’ve got a dude looking for the person who stole some stuff out of the back of his truck at the Bass Pro Shop… but honestly, if that was you, I don’t suggest you send an email back to the Craigslist user in question. That one won’t end well. The romantic in me hopes the Mount Trashmore story ends well, though — we’ve all been that shy girl at one time or another, am I right?
Get right with your bad self, Virginia.
You Farted In Wal-Mart Yesterday (Richmond)
You were the brunette with the near perfect body that farted in the bread section. I was the guy next to you that looked over and asked, “Was that you?” You quickly replied, “No, it wasn’t me!” You almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stink grew you continued to deny your flatulence, but it was very evident. I tried to get rid of the stench by waiving two loafs of Ciabatta bread. You proceeded to storm off in an angry manner. You are beautiful, and even if you are a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I’d still love to meet up with you!
You stinking bastard, You lied to me about her, you’re business, where you we’re going and you compromised our team.
They ALL think you are a huge LIAR !!!
I used to get together with you and had some great times, I miss those times. Tell me, How did it all start? I want to meet up again.
MOUNT TRASHMOORE BMX DUDE (Mount trashmoore)
I had blondish hair with the grey leggings with the blue shoes . We waved good bye and locked eyes . I was too lame to go talk to you ,
I girl could dream if you actually find this ,
Send a picture of you sticking a finger in your ear if it’s you .
Love ,
Too shy
Hot tub guy, where are you? (Richmond)
We talked a while ago, this F would love to talk again. Mention your name in your reply.
We were the M/F couple picking out doughnuts, you were waiting for coffee and complimented our jackets. You ran out before we could ask for your phone number.
Colonial Heights, at the Dropkick Murphys show (Henrico)
I was pretty annoyed at the guy who was leaning on me, but you talked me down and it turned out to be a nice evening… as nice as it gets at a murphys show. Hit me up. We could probably have some good times together.
Bass Pro Shops Parking Lot ….Sunday Eve (Back of my truck)
I saw your little ass climbing up in the back of my old jacked up Chevy 4×4 truck . Wasn’t sure why …. until a ways up Rt. 95 later and things got weird in the rear view mirror. Reckon those little blue knobs you took were just too tempting to leave alone . No worries …. you got the last of them …. nothing bright …shiny or blue up there now . You come back again you’ll need a wrench . I’d bought some Super Lube for my tackle …. but if I’d met you back there think I’d a skipped all that and in spite of being strictly a ladies man woulda gave ya a big what for ……just for GP .
Kharma is a bitch …. just remember that when she gets ya good and it hurts .
( also suggest you stay outta other folks trucks …. espescially near a place that sells so many guns & dangerous weapons )
Probably see ya in
the funny papers or news with some fancy ankle bracelets soon enough or a toe tag .
Suggest you get on the good side of the road , pay it forward & get right with your bad self.
Foodlion (AcademyRd) (Powhatan)
Genevive (Sun) around 3:30 i came through your line. You are so sweet. I had Oakleys on, You kept glancing. You couldn’t tell but i kept staring at you, I feel like a idiot now. I should have said something. long shot. If you see this do you remember what shirt i was wearing?
Cute model in The Fan (Rich., VA)
I saw you in downtown Richmond in the fan. You were the model looking for additional work and opportunities, but I was too shy to get your info. If you’d like to work with me for some modeling and actress work, get to me ASAP.
your blond transgirl hair stylist misses you (Staunton)
you used to come get one of my legendary cuts. I would put a warm towel on your neck, then we would trim your beard after your fresh cut…wow we’d have fun and laugh….inobox me Im here all weekend..
I was checking out at Starbucks of Barnes & Nobel chesterfield mall (Sunday around 3 pm). I guess you were with your son. We had an eye contact, I think you caught me checking you out and I couldn’t say anything. I thought you were very beautiful & attractive lady. Blew me away. Please contact me if you want to have some coffee or get together. This is the first time I post something like this on CL. I’m very discreet. Thanks!
Silver Honda grabbing coffee (South Richmond)
Saw a very attractive woman at 711 yesterday…..driving a silver Honda. We checked one another out several times while parked next to each other. Doubt you’ll see this, just wanted to compliment you. (I was waiting on a friend to pull up before heading to work….you: personalized tags). I thought you seemed interested, if so contact me with the type of car I was driving or what your tags say for verification.
Awesome girl at Auto Bell in Virginia Beach (Virginia Beach)
A couple weeks ago I came in for a truck wash and you were working and I happened to notice how cute you were. But there was something special about you. Then as you gave me my keys you commented on my choice of music (Chelsea Grin) and I figured out how just how cool you actually were. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are awesome and super hot. I wasnt expecting to meet such a pretty girl who also is into metal, so I was kind of tongue tied for a second. I would love to talk/ text you about metal if you are interested. Either way, I hope you see this and just know how amazing you are.
Long shot, beautiful young lady named Tammy I believe when they said your order was ready. Made eye contact a few times, would like to talk you have pretty eyes and really nice hair.
Taco Bell Harrison crossing around dinner time the other night. Please message me.
Urban Farmhouse Hottie (Scott’s Addition)
You are petite, fit, dark hair and have a beautiful smile and the sexiest hips I’ve ever seen. I want to cry because I’m too old to ask you out, but I thank the gods you work weekends.
Girls in the Camry at the light (Mechanicsville)
You were riding with your girls in a dark Camry, hanging out the window and kept asking for my number and if I was married. I was behind you at the light. No, I’m not married. Hit me up.
