It’s time for another rainy, humid week of Missed Connections, in which we learn that there really is someone for everyone. From the flatulent vampires to the geology stalkers, from the sweet young ladies cutting up food for senior citizens at restaurants to the suburbanites chatting over mouthwash at the discount store, everybody’s got some role to play in this rich pageant we call life.
We had quite a few one-liners this week as well. And listen, I know those are probably not as successful when you really are trying to find someone specific and not just anyone who wants to “unclog your pipes” or “deliver some wood,” but they certainly make this weekly column more entertaining to put together, so… keep ’em coming!
That said, if you’re checking out a young lady and you’ve got to mention that you’re not sure how old she is, chances are extremely good that she’s too young for you. So maybe try to crank the creep levels down a notch or two, hotshot.
Don’t make it weird, Virginia.
[f] I had on black leggings and a blue shirt. I saw you checking me out in the gym earlier today near broad street. You look like you wanted to rail me. Dude should have just asked for my number?
Great American Ranch (Midlothian)
“You miss 100 % of the shots you don’t take”
Saturday August 7th between nine thirty and ten thirty ( not sure on the time my phone was in my vehicle)
You definitely checked me out at least twice across the bar and at one point I believe we were back to back outside
I was with my sister who is about 5’6” and I was waiting till her friends showed up so I could go talk to you ( and not be rude to her )but by the time they showed up you were no where to be found
Looks wise you are my ideal woman and I’d like to get to know the rest of you!
I was wearing boots black shirt light blue jeans had a hat on and also have a beard 6’2”
If you respond to this post- send a picture so I can weed out the fake reply’s
Contact me today; I’ll be tied up tomorrow.
i was in line checking out and i farted a big stinky one.
i hated it, but 2 of the 3 ladies behind me plus the checkout
lady passed out as if they were warfare gassed or something.
Call on me if my ass and or farts turned out on – the 1 out of
3 who survived this ting, ok ? And yes, i am a Vampire.
Girl with black hair atlee library (Mechanicsville)
Hi you were at atlee library with your friend today Saturday aug 14 you were so attractive not sure how old you are but hope you see this I was guy on computer.
Alexandria, Blonde, Chicago (Alexandria)
Weeks ago, my large extended family and I were at a restaurant for a gathering, and you were sitting alone eating dinner. Somehow you ended up speaking to my Grandfather and the next thing we know you are cutting up his food for him. You sang a song quietly under your breath because he was from the old country. You disappeared before we could thank you. I think my family fell a little in love with you and maybe I did too. You were blonde and from Chicago, although I am not sure you were visiting or had moved here. If you happen to read this, please reach out. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Use the restaurant name as the subject matter.
Kinda got the impression you were under cover. Didn’t wanna blow it.
Last Friday at FB Soulshack , you sat at the table behind us , told us we were great entertainment. Wish I had got your number, you seem fun and had a great smile. Tell me something specific so I know it’s you. .. probably a long shot.
You: you worked in the maintenance area at Maymont. Dirty blonde to burnett hair, longer and put up. You wore yellow lens sun glasses which you left laying in a back room and I made sure to bring them out and let you know you had left them I did catch your name as much as would have loved to have done so. You are a sticking woman even in your work clothes and I couldnt take my eyes off you.
Me: WM I was helping to put up/hang a box in a corner in back of shop area. Long brown hair in a ponytail. A few extra pounds and like a big bear with muscles.
I would love to chat with you and see if we connect and if so move on to a date. You really caught my eye and I have been thinking of you since, which was about two weeks ago now. Tell me the color of the box we hanging. Hope you see this you are on my mind constantly.
do you work at US Geological Survey in Reston (Sterling / Reston)
or know somebody that does ?
I have questions about someone there.
She hates me but if she knew that I miss her, well maybe she’d hate me a little less .. and then who knows. 😮
Queens Way Restaurant (Hampton)
you held the door for me on saturday night at one of the restaurants on queens way in hampton….i said “thank you”, our eyes locked, and i knew you could see right through me….
i was wearing a black dress and black heels….white pearl necklace……
i was there to meet someone else – but i really wanted to get to know you……
you were a very handsome black man…..very fit…..
your shirt was a very bright color…..please tell me what color when you respond to this so i know it might be you….
Bike Rider at H St Whole Foods (H St)
You waved and said hello.
I waved and said hello.
For some fidgety shy reason I kept…. walking?
I’ve been regretting not stopping all day!
So, hi!
-Lady in clear glasses with natural hair ^-^
Mouthwash Isle, Gainesville BJ’s
L ~ It was fun discussing a healthy life style. ~ H
walnut bridge hanging (Roanoke)
Saw you bud on walnut bridge.
Blue T-shirt, jeans, on your cell, hanging.
hit me back, been awhile
To my friend, who moved from Mineral to Alexandria, My health is going down hill fast. You only care about a buzz. Oh well I no longer give a care. My health is killing me, too many pains in the wrong spots. They want to take my legs, they say my lungs are filling with stuff. I am not going to let them remove anything. Without you, I have no reason to try and live. Now I say good bye to you, for it will not be long before the big long sleep. I hope you are happy. I just wanted to be loved for my last days of life and that was taken away from me. Now I will pass away without friends or a loved one. Hope you are happy. Hope you live a long life. I know it will not be a happy life for you, then again with whom you have choosen to be your lover, it will always be on you. He will never do anything to help make a living. Now I shut down my phone and kill my email accounts. I die alone. Thank you
Photo by Danielle Cerullo on Unsplash
