Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where we’re all attempting to answer positively to this week’s most important question: Do you have gas in your car? The ongoing fallout from the Columbia Gas pipeline hack means that, as of last night, a third of Virginia gas stations still didn’t have gasoline available. That dire situation is why this week’s installment of Missed Connection highlights features a full-on poetic ode to a lovely stranger who helped a young lady find fuel.
That’s not all Craigslist has to offer this week, though. We’ve also got a tale of bear hats and e-girl cashiers, shameless flirts who interrupt you at the coffee shop, and years-ago concert meet-cutes that never got followed up on… much to the poster’s regret. We’ve all felt those stings from time to time, haven’t we?
One final note: no guarantees that the test you’re asked to take this week makes any sense. But I won’t spoil it for you.
Scroll down for enlightenment, Virginia.
You were already talking when I came in for my to got coffee when I inserted myself into your conversation. I hope that wasn’t too forward. I had to leave for work and you said you were going to the gym. You mentioned that working out can help you you feel better. I agreed. Physical activity can do a lot of things. Want to talk more about it?
We found each other in a time of need
Your kind smile was bright & warm
Saying “grab the pump & take my lead”
Weary of the oncoming storm.
You helped with the handle,
More like helped with my heart.
But you knew I wasn’t only a damsel,
Admitting you were wrong was like art.
Mercedes has 3 E’s all pronounced differently,
A shower thought I wished to share with you.
But to ask for your number – I had not the ability,
& I promise my intent is true.
You’ll never see this; it’s guaranteed
This is an ode to my lack of charm
From the girl wearing a scarf, I do plead
Guilty of being infirm.
We’ve seen each other around for years. I always thought you were cute. Saw you today at the grocery store looking fine with your dyed short hair. Maybe you noticed me too?
Sunday morning 5/16 around 10:30. Our eyes locked on each other’s a few times over these stupid masks. First in the bread isle, then the deli section, then one last time before checkout. Think you were shopping with your dad. Hit me back if you see this and tell me something about myself so I know it’s really you.
You complimented my bear hat one day and said you’d like to wear it. I would love for to wear it! Reach out if you’re out there!
Is there any body out there?
Just post if you need to feel me.
Is there any women home?
Any men feel alone?
I think you are super and wish you know how much I really like you. I know I’m a little old for you but I can’t help it.
I was the guy walking out…you were the guy walking in.
Felt like more than a glance!!
Total longshot here, but 5 years ago me (kind of short with curly brown hair, styled into a pompadour at the time, and blue eyes) and a buddy (slightly above average height, black hair, brown eyes) met you (Name of Anna, long blonde hair) at a bar in Arlington. White Ford Bronco was playing and you and my buddy talked about IPAs while I had cider. We danced and sang the whole night and you tried to pick up the tambourine from the stage. I kinda started to distance myself from you towards the end of the night because I was only in town for the weekend and I was just crashing on my buddy’s couch. I felt like the next morning that was both a mistake and very rude. If you see this I’d like to get in touch
I saw you checking me out at the Wegmans bakery. I was buying a chocolate raspberry cake and smiled at you.
Me: the white man with bright blue rain jacket
You: brunette lady
HMU if you see this
Just got out of a very abusive relationship. Healing from injuries. Was isolated from everyone.
I’m on the streets now. Probably WON’T make it.
Broke AF too.
But would love to smoke some weed if anyone was so inclined to help a poor lady out.
Choose as many categories as you like and add 10 points for each that apply to your interests or curiosity:
G. _ (Add your own)
- Add 10 points if you’re married or in a relationship.
- Add 25 points if you’re female.
- Subtract all of your points to zero if you’re a man masquerading as a female.
Calculate your score and reply with scores for each question. I will describe your level of perversion in detail.