Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where… I gotta say, y’all crack me up. I mean, from people assuming casual eye contact across a busy street was imbued with deep meaning to dudes saying they didn’t approach women in person because they were afraid it would seem creepy, then immediately follow that up with a request for a “discreet encounter,” Craigslist this week seems to be full of people who have no idea how they’re coming off.
But then, isn’t that always the way this works? The ones who are most charming seem like they are just trying to be honest. The ones who try to act like suave lovers always seem oily and desperate. And the ones who say crazy things never seem to think they’re anything but totally normal.
This week’s prime examples are the group for military dads (what happens at those meetings? Never mind, I don’t want to know), the lady who seems to want a roommate for dirty reasons, and the gym patron drooling over a fellow lifter’s “awesome armpits.” I mean, to each their own, but… once again, y’all crack me up.
Keep the laughs coming, Virginia.
To the red hair lady with blue eyes who has chickens. You lit me up …. Just talking to you was amazing and being near you well was breathtaking…….I’m holding up my boom box playing IN YOUR EYES!
Perchfest-Dog Owner of Ruby (Tysons)
We sat next to each other for a while at Perchfest. We chatted about our dogs and the Washington Football Team for a bit. You took Ruby for a walk and weren’t back before we had to leave. Wish I had gotten your name (and number haha). You and your friends seem cool. I’m not convinced this will actually work, but worth the shot!
Brunette Milf (Rockville Food Lion)
You were there with your daughter, me with my two kids. I couldn’t help but stare at you. You are amazingly beautiful and clearly must have a pretty awesome personality. We had brief and minimal conversation, but I sure would like to have more.
Jay, this matt from mjs (Norfolk)
I think I put my number in ur phone wrong. Im so sorry.
I followed u outside and asked why u were leaving.
U said cause its was dead and i replied cause its early.
I called u handsome and u complemented me.
Hmu with what u complemented. I wanna meet up!!
Me: 30-something white male hiking the Appalachian Trail from Trumbo Hollow towards Manassas Gap shelter.
You: beautiful older woman with hiking poles and knee braces down around your ankles
My friend and I were hiking towards the Manassas Gap shelter and we ran into you hiking south towards Trumbo Hollow. We chatted briefly about the heat and sweating. You were very friendly and vivacious and beautiful. I’d love to know who you were and become hiking friends! 🙂
Saw across from Oak Grove park (Chesapeake)
You were a guy (and I’m a guy), and we nodded to each other. It was a super light gesture but idk, I felt like there was something there?? Would love to talk (maybe through Kik or something).
Spencers cashier (Hopkins rd) (Chesterfield)
You got fired and I never seen you again. I drove white box truck after my white pick up broke down and I’d bring you lil gifts couple times a week. Miss seeing you. Let’s get together. Tell me your name in subject line
We met at work and became best friends. we did everything together. You were family. Then you made advances i wasnt ready for and wanted something i couldnt give. Things went bad quickly and you left in a bad way. I hated you for years. now i miss the fun times we had, closeness we shared, and all the things we can do now that im ready. if you want to talk, email me. 5050HM
You waved, I nodded (Ben Brenman)
You noticed me noticing you. You waved, I nodded. Made my day. Thanks.
You were part of our small group of dads (Tysons)
You joined us for some dad activities about a year ago but then got swamped with your work.
We mentored a younger former military dad who really appreciated it.
Are you available again?
kroger gas station (Blacksburg)
To the girl with the Mustang filling up with gas at S. Main Kroger on Monday–I juat wanted to thank you for making my day/week brighter.
I wish I would have told you in person but didnt want you to think I was an older creep. If you ever think about a discreet meetup with an older male, Id love to chat. Thanks again.
Looking for Ivana that I lost contact with. I have met you in Richmond and Charlottesville as well. Last time I saw you in Lynchburg after lunch we went to your cousins house and I watched World Cup soccer with them. Tell me where you were working at in Charlottesville back then to weed out the spam or where your from. I am older than you and shave my head.
Hottie alert! Friday late afternoon workout at the gym My all time top 10 sightings ever. Worked up a sweat pretty fast lifting those heavy weights Awesome muscles, legs, and armpits. Let me know if you ever need a spot! or any thing else.
Friday, mid-afternoon, you got a beer and drank it while you perused the wine. You: handsome face, beautiful well-groomed dark beard, great chest. Me: older person, wandering aimlessly. At one point had to excuse myself past you to grab a bottle. You bought ice and left.
Missing our meet ups (Crystal City)
Several times a year I would come to Crystal City for meetings. We would spend the night together talking, cuddling and just having a good time.
Travel stopped for the past 18 months but I am coming in for a meeting on Sunday staying in Crystal City hotel. If you remember where we met tell me the name of the hotel and something about our meetings. If you are not the woman, 40 years old but are interested let me know. I am a 70 year old.
Fully vaccinated.
Looking forward to reconnecting.
Did you get the notes? (Arlington)
We were both getting gas on Monday morning when we were subjected to an ear-rattling call coming from another’s car. You were the woman with short hair driving a white SUV. I was the guy who joked who about it later inside the store. Maybe we could get a glass of that wine you were buying?
my email was corrupted before we could get back together for s & m sessions..I know how much you liked my belt and you wanted a humbling experience…let me know
Papa Johns Delivery Guy (Manassas)
Young guydiryy blonde hair brought my pizza and papadias around 8ish tonight. I enjoyed our small talk about how your weekend had been and how you enjoyed the weather today.
If you see this I would like to chat more with you and get to know you. Email back or share your snapchat.
Missing Junior from donaughty.. (DC)
Hey it’s Tonya. I wanted to let you know that Cassandra has went back to Denver. I’m going to be looking for a roommate at the end of the month..
Photo by Josiah Gascho on Unsplash.
