Best Of VA Missed Connections April 22 – April 28

by | Apr 28, 2020 | RICHMOND NEWS, WTF?!

Welcome to another week of Missed Connections, where quarantine seems to be eroding some people’s grasp on reality. I mean, I know witches are real, both of the Wiccan and pagan varieties. But if you’re looking to change your age and/or gender, that’s not really how witchcraft works here in the real world. Gender transitions are real and possible through non-magical means [trust me, I’m living proof -ed.], and for that matter, age transitions can happen too… but they take a while, and they only go in one direction.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, what else is going on this week in the most consistently entertaining section of Craigslist? Oh, you know, the usual — essential workers developing crushes on masked co-workers, people willing to risk a deadly disease in order to serve a fancy dinner to strangers, people looking for naughty quarantine pen-pals… OK, so the new normal is a bit odd even in the Missed Connections, but what can you do? Things are a bit out of the ordinary everywhere.

I still can’t understand a nostalgic recollection involving being punched really hard in a delicate area during an intimate activity, though… if that had happened to me, I definitely would have blocked it out.

Stay safe, Virginia.

Roanoke/Salem Witch/Wiccan Age Or Gender Swap (Roanoke, Virginia)

It would be incredible if a Roanoke or Salem Wiccan or Witch had the ability to perform gender or age swaps.

When I was 16

When I was 16, there was a girl in my math class who helped tutor me. She was a little different than most of the other girls I was in class with. She was easy to get along with, but had a really dark sense of humor. One day, we were at her house and we kind of strayed from her tutoring me. Long story short, I was sitting in her chair in her room and she was giving me head. But I noticed she was really interested in my balls. She would make comments about how crazy it was that all of my DNA was in those two balls. I remember looking down at her as she held them in one hand and looked at me and said she was sorry. With a closed fist, she slammed her fist into my balls. I remember the pain immediately shooting to my stomach and I screamed. I can still hear the impact of her fist and the pain and her laugh as I slumped over onto the floor.

I wonder whatever happened to her.

Insta Cart Woman in Carytown (Richmond va)

Probably a long shot. You were a taller woman maybe in your 30-40’s with dirty blonde hair. You were wearing a pinkish long sleeve shirt and a black and white stripped shirt underneath that. You had a black scarf looking material facemask on with some color in it. You were attractive, you caught my eye. You asked if we carried a product for a customer. Reply if you see this

I’d like ladies opinions

What is your opinion of a man having his stuff pierced

Where are all of the good guys? (Charlottesville)

What has happened to all of the good guys? Has the internet changed the way we date? Whatever happened to meeting a nice guy to enjoy a dinner with or a Sunday afternoon at a vineyard or brewery. I’m mature attractive and fun. I have flaws, I have the regular generic baggage. I have a past and I have a future. I enjoy music, live concerts, reading, fashion and having fun. Fun can be staying in or hitting the town. I have a job I enjoy, and I take care of my elderly mother. My day to day life makes my spare time incredibly valuable to me. I have found in life quality is more important than quantity. Everyday is a gift. I’m not looking for Ken or GI Joe. I’m looking for a hard working honest man. A guy who knows how to take care of a lady, one who wants his girl to feel special all the time. A buddy to pal around with and enjoy what our beautiful area has to offer. I prefer blue collars over white collars any day. I want that one special man who will bring me grocery store flowers, just because it’s Tuesday. Are you out there?

Uber (Forest Hill Avenue)

You were my first Uber ride this past Friday (4/25). I just wanted to let you know that I thought you were very handsome. 

Long time no see (Fredericksburg)

That was the first time in four years we’ve acknowledged one another and it was terrifying. I shouldn’t want to reach out because of the person you are/were but I just feel like I want to talk. I’m in a very happy and healthy long term relationship now and you may be too by the looks of it but I want nothing but a conversation. Some sort of twisted closure maybe? I’m not positive.

(mac demarco guitar sounds on car rides, and you thinking it was the funniest thing ever. If you know, you know.)

Feeling depressed

This Corona virus has me feeling down. Looking for friends for conversation. I am open to everyone.

Lets break quarantine and have a Sunday night roast dinner (Roanoke)

I’m making a traditional roast dinner for tonight and don’t want to eat alone….roast, onions, carrots, celery, potatoes, wine…..who wants to get naked and within 6′ of each other and have a nice dinner? 60 yo white male here and I’ll do all the cooking.

Tired of being Essential Lets have some fun (Richmond)

With everything going on in the world and still having to be essential and come to work. I was hoping to stir up some conversation with a female that would like to talk maybe more down the road. I’m currently married and just tired of the day to day stress of working and not getting to enjoy a little fun. If your open and bored and wanna talk I’m all ears for something more than the new normal. 

Red BMW-Mech. shopping center

You were riding through a parking lot in Mech. You have a sticker on your car. Good god you were handsome. 

Aldi Robious Road This Afternoon (N. chesterfield)

To the handsome young man in front of me in line this afternoon (1:45 pm), with dark hair and goatee and green shirt and tattoos…our eyes met several times and I was too chicken to chat with you in the parking lot. YES I am interested!!!

Please reply. I have dark hair and beard, blue jacket and grey shorts. 

Quarantining is safe but boring can you spice it up?

I’m a bored male doing my part to stay in the house and out of the way, but this is so boring, I’m looking for a fun confident female to help me spice up these groundhog days that we are in… We can start writing back and forth and see where it takes us… hope to hear from you soon… what else do you have to do? Lol could be fun…

Work together but not sure how to approach

M4M Although we don’t work in the same area, we work for the same place. I’m totally attracted to him and have been since we met. It’s everything about him, no just looks, not just conversation, but everything. We text off and on and I try to drop some hints but I fail each time because I am afraid to put too much out there. We both like similar things and we have been out to eat a couple times during work. We have some really good work friends in common also. Today, I mentioned something specific about home and to my surprise, he felt the same way about his home life. He is kind and we always have good conversation, although sometimes it is short. He wears Carhart stuff which I find sexy because it sort of defines masculinity. He looks great when he has a goatee/beard, and looks grat without one. What makes this more complicated is I am in management and he is not. I just feel such a connection and I have no clue what to do. I even get speech stupid when he is near, and get goofy to an extent, but only because I am nervous. Well, guess this is as good a place as any to get this off my chest. D to A I dig you. 

If I could’ve gone back in time? (Rva)

The very first moment I met you I would’ve ask you out! I was shy but something about you made my whole body come alive. Every shared space, I kept feeling hot and bothered! This quarantine has taught me just to embrace life and not be intimidated. If everyone could be bold and ask someone out the first time meeting, there would be no need for missed connections! I apologize for anything I’ve done to disrespect or hurt your feelings in the past! It just all the times I saw you, I just wanted to tell you that I was attracted to you and I liked you! Take care and if someone has claimed you for their own then they are blessed to have someone as special as you in their life! But… If you ever become single again I want a date with your fine azz! Yes I do! 

RVA Staff

RVA Staff

Since 2005, the dedicated team at RVA Magazine, known as RVA Staff, has been delivering the cultural news that matters in Richmond, VA. This talented group of professionals is committed to keeping you informed about the events and happenings in the city.




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